Thursday, August 23, 2001 Edition: #2117
Transportation for today’s show provided by Transat, recently voted by 9 out of 10 terrorists as the airline they’d least like to hijack.
BS THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND:
• Cats’ facial expressions.
• The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
• Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
• ‘Fat clothes’.
• Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
• The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell.
• Cutting your bangs — to make them grow.
• Eyelash curlers.
• The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
• OTHER women.
BS CELEBRITY BUZZ:
TONIGHT at 10pm on “PrimeTime Thursday”, ABC’s Connie Chung has that exclusive interview with congressman Gary Condit about intern Chandra Levy’s disappearance (he’s spending most of today rehearsing his script) . . . European tabloids are hot-to-trot on the idea of matching up Monaco’s stunning Princess Carlotta, the late Princess Grace’s 15-year-old granddaughter, with Britain’s hunky 19-year-old Prince William (they’re distant relatives, so it would keep those big-nose and floppy-ear genes in the family) . . . Big-haired and hot-aired boxing promoter Don King says he’s fed up with weak and wimpy boy-bands and NEXT WEEK he’ll unveil a new pop band called ‘Box-Zone’ that consists of former world heavyweight champions Lennox Lewis, Frank Bruno, George Foreman, and Mike Tyson on lead vocals . . . THIS FALL CBS-TV’s new drama “The Education of Max Bickford” starring Richard Dreyfuss
will feature the first on-going transsexual character on TV as St Thomas ON-born actress Helen Shaver plays a college prof named ‘Steve’ who undergoes a sex-change to become ‘Erica’ . . . UK recording company Charrm is releasing a limited-edition single (500 copies only) of the 1-minute of SILENCE in London’s Hyde Park after Princess Diana’s 1997 funeral (and we just happen to have a 5-second sneak preview . . .) . . . And because we really care, Britney Spears confesses there are mornings when she wakes up and her ‘butt feels fat’.
Angelina Jolie says she’s game to star as ‘Lara Croft’ again in a “Tomb Raider” sequel, but only if they can make it ‘a hundred times better’ than the original (I’ve got an idea — how ‘bout 3-D?) . . . Mira Sorvino is denying she and co-star Mariah Carey had a wrestling match on the set of just-completed “Wise Girls”, claiming they only had ‘one verbal argument, one day’ (cat fight!!!!) . . . If the sequel to “Basic Instinct” is ever to get made it will reportedly be without Sharon Stone whose demands are just too high (in fact to save money, her part will be play by a leg model and a small otter) . . . Hard to believe but Hollywood currently has TWO films in development about the board game “Scrabble” – one by “LA Confidential” director Curtis Hanson who’s bought the rights to the book “Word Freak: Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius & Obsession In The World Of Competitive Scrabble”, the other titled “Your Word Against Mine”, a romantic comedy about a young man who gives up everything to become a “Scrabble” champ (um, how many points do you get for the word ‘F-L-O-P’?).
WHAT YOUR CAR COLOR SAYS ABOUT YOU:
• White — people with distant, aloof personalities.
• Black – aggressive and outgoing ‘Type A’ people.
• Green – people who aspire to ‘the golden age of elitist motoring’.
• Beige – most likely to be depressed and the object of other driver’s road rage.
(What about other colors? Red people want to be the center of attention?)
(Source: BBC report)
SHE’S LEAVING HOME, BYE BYE:
Getting ready to ship a kid off to college? A University of Virginia study finds when kids call home from college they lie to their moms about 50% of the time. (So if they say they’re flunking, broke, depressed and/or pregnant, don’t worry — it’s only half true.)
HAVE A HAPPY ENEMA:
A new federal government study finds that medical devices designed to be thrown out after one use are being used as often as 20 times by cash-strapped Canadian hospitals. (I thought that tongue depressor seemed damp!)
CURL UP AND DYE:
People have been dying their hair for 3000 years, but the first commercial hair dye company wasn’t started until 1909 in France. The ‘French Harmless Hair Dye Company’ later changed their name to ‘L’Oreal’. But its products were not widely used and by 1950, only about 7% of women dyed their hair. A Clairol ad campaign in the 1960’s changed things overnight. Showing pics of women with children over the catch phrase ‘Does she or doesn’t she?’, hair dye suddenly became acceptable. By the end of the ‘60s, about 70% of women were using hair dye. Nowadays it’s up to 75%. (There used to be fewer blonde jokes, because they were fewer blondes.)
A new British study finds that 25% of 4- to 8-year-olds can’t tell the time on traditional clock faces. Seems they’re surrounded by so many digital clocks, they no longer recognize the old ‘big hand-little hand’ method. The study also finds that 25% of 6- to 8-year-olds don’t know there are 24 hours in a day, and, increasingly, today’s kids are using their mobile phone display to give them the time rather than wearing a watch!
THE BULL SHEET 08.23.01
TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1978  Kobe Bryant, Philadelphia PA, NBA superstar (NBA champion LA Lakers)
BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[Montréal] 25th World Film Festival begins
TOMORROW the 6th annual “World Championships of Air Guitar” will be held in the northern Finnish town of Oulu, the ‘Mecca of airheads’. Contestants are judged on stage charisma, originality, artistry and ‘airiness’. You also get marks if you ‘throw oneself to the mercy of the music’. Competitors play their imaginary air guitars to one compulsory tune and one track of their own choice. Grand prize is a real Washburn electric guitar, plus the ‘glory’ of being the world’s best air guitarist. (2nd prize is a used tennis racquet.)
PHONER: 011-358-8-314-1294 (Oulu Tourist Board)
SUNDAY the annual “Ironman Canada” triathlon huffs and puffs around Penticton BC. Competitors swim 4 Ks, bike 180 Ks, then run 42 Ks. (And then die.)
PHONER: 250-490-8787 (Jeanine Pritchard/Barry Poole)
ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2000 51 million tune in to watch the final episode of “Survivor”, during which Richard Hatch is named the $1 million winner NOTE: THIS WEEK he pleaded innocent to domestic assault of a ‘former partner’ who tried to force his way into Hatch’s home.
TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1617  1st ‘one-way street’ (London)
1882  ‘Pile of Bones’ SK becomes ‘Regina’
1904  1st ‘snow tire chains’ (Harry D Weed)
1961  ‘Athletic mouth guard’ patented (LL Greenblum’s ‘Teeth Protector’)
1977  1st ‘man-powered flight’ as Bryan Allen pedals ‘Gossamer Condor’ for 1 mile (Schafter CA)
TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1958  Marie Ashton completes playing piano a record 133 hours
1960  World’s largest frog (3.3 kg/7 1/4 lbs) caught in Equatorial Guinea
1998  San Francisco Giant Barry Bonds becomes 1st MLB player to hit 400 home runs and steal 400 bases (will he add the season home run record this year?)
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Today] Astrological sign Virgo begins
[Sat] 10th Canadian Garlic Festival begins (Sudbury)
[Sat] Kiss-And-Make-Up Day (did you know an average kiss burns up 6 calories?)
[Sun] National Women’s Equality Day
National Hot Lava Week
National Parks Month
BULL’S BITS . . .
BS PERSONAL ADS:
• “Me: buxom blonde female with blue eyes. You: elderly, marriage-minded millionaire with bad heart.”
• “Lonely Christian woman has not sung ‘Glory Hallelujah’ in a long time. Write soon!”
• “Award winning poet seeks short term, intense, doomed relationship for inspiration. Must be attractive, sensual, articulate — and ruthless. Break my heart, please!”
BS PHONE STARTER:
• “What one thing do you wish your partner would stop doing?”
• “What’s the best thing you ever did to get back at a mean boss?”
The hot trend for couples getting married in Las Vegas is ‘themed weddings’. Forget about the traditional white bridal gown, fuchsia bridesmaids’ dresses and penguin suits for guys. Why not put on a costume and have a unique theatrical experience? Wedding themes at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, for instance, include ‘Elvis/Blue Hawaii’, ‘Camelot’, ‘Gangster’, ‘Fairy Tale’, ‘Old West’, ‘Egyptian’ and, god forbid — ‘Intergalactic’.
Q: According to experts, the ideal has a long lean neck and depth of body but she’s not fat. She has fullness, but ribs that show. She has legs that curve, but not as much as a sickle. What the heck are they talking about?
A: A prize-winning dairy cow.
Q: What percentage of your body is water — 20, 40 or 60?
A: Believe it or not, you’re 60% H2O!
Q: What do scientists predict people of the future will have — fewer teeth, no hair, or no little toes?
A: Bad news — it’s ALL of them.
BS TAG LINE:
Too much of a good thing — is WONDERFUL!