August 1, 2000             More Bull Roar             Edition:  #1858

MOVIE RATINGS EXPLAINED:
• G: Nobody gets the girl.
• PG: The Good Guy Gets The Girl.
• R: The Bad Guy Gets The Girl.
• X: Everybody Gets The Girl.
• XXX: Everybody gets the girl, her mother, and their cocker spaniel.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Celebrities scheduled to appear at THIS WEEK’S Republican National Convention in Philadelphia include Bruce Willis, Bo Derek, WWF wrestler The Rock, “NYPD Blue” star Rick Schroder, and former San Francisco QB Steve Young (we’re betting the Democrats can do a lot better that this!) . . . ‘N Sync has knocked off Britney Spears as the #1 entertainment search term on the Internet (‘naked women’ is still third) . . . Sarah Michelle Gellar is reportedly making boyfriend Freddie Prinze Jr wear clothes she picks, speak less like a gangster, and not spend so much time playing Nintendo with his buddies.(sounds like they’re ready to get married!).

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
 “Romeo Must Die“, a modern day version of “Romeo and Juliet”, with action star Jet Li as an ex-cop investigating the murder of his brother and hip-hop singer Aaliyah Haughton as the daughter of an American mob boss (kung fu action ensues!) . . . The teen comedy “Whatever It Takes”, a modern-day remake of the “Cyrano DeBergerac” tale, with a cast of no-names.

NEW TERMS FOR 2000:
• ‘Glibido’ . . . Being all talk and no action. (“I’m tired of my husband’s glibido in the bedroom.”)
• ‘Annoyance Meter’ . . . . A new device developed by engineers at Dolby to measure the average sound level of a movie preview. The Trailer Audio Standards Association has set a new limit on how loud a movie trailer can be after the film industry received hundreds of complaints about the volume of trailers.
• ‘Gadget Envy’ . . . What drives executives to buy costly contraptions such as cell phones, PalmPilots and pagers to keep up with others.

JUST CALL ME ‘BICK BRAIN’:
Need a memory boost? Eat a pickle! Pickle ingredients boost the brain’s electrolyte levels and enhance your memory, say experts. (I believe it! If I eat a big garlic dill at lunch, I don’t forget it for the rest of the day.)

TOO STUPID FOR US TO MAKE UP:
• In a poll on TV viewing habits poll, 1% of respondents admit to watching tube in the nude — all of them male! (Trust a guy to try to prove he can operate the remote with no hands.)
• In a rhinology survey, 2% of those who pick their noses say they find it a ‘sexual experience’.

WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
• The odds are more likely that you will spot a UFO than win a lottery jackpot.
• The odds are 9 in 10 that you will gain back all the weight you lost after a diet.
• The odds are 3 in 4 that you will be mentioned in the media at least once in your life.
• The odds are 1 in 117 that the pilot of the plane you are flying in is drunk.
• The odds are 1 in 4 that your spouse will be unfaithful to you.
(Source: “What Are The Chances?”)

THE BULL SHEET 08.01.00

TODAY’S CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS . . .
1931    [69] Tom Wilson, Grant Town WV, comic strip cartoonist (“Ziggy”)
1936    [64] Yves Saint-Laurent (Henri Mathieu), Oran ALG, fashion designer (Obsession)
1963    [37] Coolio (as in ‘whatever happened to?), LA CA, rapper (‘95 Grammy-“Gangsta’s Paradise”)
1964    [36] Adam Duritz, rock musician (Counting Crows-“Mr Jones”)
1965    [35] Sam Mendes, ENG, Oscar-winner for his feature film directorial debut (“American Beauty”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
THIS WEEK is “World Breastfeeding Week”, when La Leche League International sponsors the annual  “World Walk For Breastfeeding” (when you’ll see men worldwide walking abreast).
NET: http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleaderweb/walk.html

TODAY is “Sisters’ Day”, a day to show appreciation to female siblings and a good day to ask listeners for the worst dirty tricks pulled on them by sisters.

TODAY is “Rounds Resounding Day”, a day to sing rounds. (Altogether now, “Row, row, row . . .”)

TONIGHT is the annual “National Night Out”, designed to heighten crime prevention awareness and promote police-community partnerships. (Also known as ‘Muggers’ Buffet Night’.)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1877    [123]  Piano staple “Chopsticks” composed
1960     [40] 1st ‘felt-tip pen’ (Tokyo Stationery Co)
1964    [36] 1st ‘GI Joe’ action figure marketed (name inspired by 1945 Robert Mitchum movie “The Story of GI Joe”) FACTOID: Hasbro invented the term ‘action figure’ because it thought boys wouldn’t play with a ‘doll’.
1981     [19] MTV debuts at 12:01 am (1st video — The Buggles’ “Video Killed The Radio Star”)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1957     [43] Canadian Glen Gorbous throws a baseball a record 136 m (445 ft, 10 ins)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Friendship Day
International Clown Week
Psychic Week
International Air Travel Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
FASTEST FINGER QUESTIONS:

Q: What language contains the most words — Mandarin Chinese, English, or Pig Latin?
A: English is the wordiest with approximately 455,000 active words and 700,000 ‘dead words’.

Q: What does the word ‘Viking’ mean – ‘piracy’, ‘wanderer’, or ‘well-endowed’?
A: ‘Viking’ is Norse for ‘piracy’.

Q: What do you make when you manufacture ‘cerumen’ – plastic, steel, or earwax?
A: Earwax, the substance secreted by glands in the outer ear.

BS TAG LINE: A statistical study shows we’re most likely to die in March, least likely in AUGUST. Have a good month!


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