Wednesday, August 13, 2008        Edition: #3835
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

23-year-old British golf club receptionist Alison Carroll has beaten out hundreds of others to become the new face of ‘Lara Croft’ when the new “Tomb Raider” game, “Underworld”, comes out THIS NOVEMBER . . . “High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens is being sued for $5 million by one Johnny Vieira, who claims he helped launch her singing career and has a right to share profits due to a settlement agreement they negotiated when she hit it big-time . . . 41-year-old Hollywood actress-turned-producer Salma Hayek (“Ugly Betty”) is now shopping an hour-long reality TV show which would feature a ‘unique take’ on weddings . . . Pseudo-actress Tori Spelling has pulled out of the upcoming “Beverly Hills 90210” spin-off (CW) after discovering she was to be paid less than half what other former stars Jennie Garth and Shannen Doherty are getting (the new show will be titled simply “90210”) . . . Meantime, ABC-TV has quietly begun renegotiations with “Lost” stars Matthew Fox and Evangeline Lilly to beef up their pay by up to $70,000 per episode from the current level of about $150,000 (it’ll be easier to settle now that the series is scheduled to end after 48 more episodes) . . . The much-discussed memoir by show biz mom Lynne Spears (delayed by daughter Jamie Lynne’s pregnancy) is now due to be published SEPTEMBER 16th and will be titled “Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame & Family In a Tabloid World” (crap, it must be like 6-feet-wide!) . . . CBS-TV is said to be developing a remake of “Hawaii Five-O”, the Jack Lord detective series that ran from 1968-80 (can’t Hollywood think of anything NEW these days?!) . . . And despite the fact it’s on a record roll, Hollywood prophets are predicting “The Dark Knight” will fail to dethrone “Titanic” as the all-time movie box office champ for one simple reason – a likely DECEMBER release on DVD, ending its worldwide theater run.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Classic rocker Bryan Adams is a guest.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Motley Crue performs.
• “Project Runway” (Bravo) – Guest judge Brooke Shields challenges the designers to make it work for working women.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – New daddy Clay Aiken shows off the baby pics.

• Allman Bros Band – Members are suing UMG Recordings for more than $10 million over royalties they allege are owed from CD sales and digital downloads.
• Britney Spears – She recently completed her first exclusive sit-down interview and photoshoot in nearly 2 years which will be published in FRIDAY’s “OK! Magazine”. Word is she had her act together and the session went well.
• Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band – Buzz has it they’ll headline the “Super Bowl” halftime show in FEBRUARY.
• Carrie Underwood – She tells “Us Weekly” she still hears from her ex-boyfriend, Dallas Cowboys QB Tony Romo. Oh oh. Another Jessica Simpson snit is about to happen.
• Kylie Minogue – The Aussie pop star is set to release a cover of Barry Manilow’s 1978 hit “Copacabana”. She currently uses the song to close out her “KylieX 2008 Tour” shows.
• Lenny Kravitz – He’s rumored to be replacing departed Scott Weiland as the new frontman for Velvet Revolver after being spotted in a studio with the group. An insider claims the band wanted a big name who could easily hold his own.

In Hollywood they’re saying Wednesday is the new Friday when it comes to movie openings, as numerous Summer ‘08 flicks have opened mid-week in an attempt to get a jump at the box office. Here comes another …
• “Tropic Thunder” ( R-Rated Action Comedy ): Through a series of freak occurrences, a group of actors shooting a big-budget war movie is forced to become the soldiers they are portraying. Ben Stiller directs and stars, alongside Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr (in black-face). Cameos by Alicia Silverstone, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jon Voight, Lance Bass, Matthew McConaughey, Nick Nolte, Tom Cruise, and Tyra Banks. A coalition of disability advocacy groups is calling for a boycott due to what they claim is negative portrayal of intellectually disabled people, and the film’s repeated use of the word ‘retard’.

A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Scientists say … the average person spends about an hour a day in the bathroom. According to a study by the National Association for Continence, you’re spending as much time in the john each year as you might spend on vacation – about 14 days!
• Scientists say … people trust gossip more than their own observations about other people. Research by evolutionary biologists in Germany shows that we’re more apt to believe the latest buzz than our own eyes.
• Scientists say … shopping when you’re in a crappy mood can cost you – literally. Researchers theorize that when we feel blue, we tend to devalue ourselves, which in turn increases our drive and willingness to spend money.
• Scientists say … you can develop fine lines around the mouth (often called ‘Smoker’s Lips’) from constantly sipping on water bottles. Dermatologists say the effect is seen far more often nowadays than before bottled water became popular.

New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Recessionista’ – A person who dresses stylishly on a tight budget. (“I can’t believe what Melissa finds in vintage clothing shops. She’s such a recessionista.”)
• ‘Vacation Bank’ – An employee’s yearly allotment of vacation days. (“Instead of paying tax on all the overtime I’ve been working, I opted to add another week to my vacation bank.”)
• ‘White Pollution’ – Litter along roadways, particularly white plastic shopping bags, but also papers, cups, and food containers. (“Our Kiwanis Club adopted a highway so now I’m spending my Saturday mornings cleaning up white pollution.”)

A recent University of Michigan study finds that workplace civility has gone downhill. One poll finds that fully 71% of workers had faced ‘uncivil encounters’ in the previous 5 years. About 25% of the victims confronted the offender, then reported the incident to superiors or complained to co-workers. It seems men are to blame for more than 70% of rude and obnoxious office behavior. (Asked to explain the study’s results, Dr IM Crass said , “I’ll only tell you if you pull my finger.”)
– “USA Today”

Dating in dark venues is the latest way to meet potential mates. Why would you possibly want to try getting to know someone you can’t even see? Proponents say the benefit is that when you don’t obsess about looks, you can focus on someone’s personality. (That’ll be a real consolation when the lights go on and you discover you’ve hooked up with ‘Reptile Man’.)
– “Cosmopolitan”

• 79% of car crashes involve drivers not paying attention for 3 seconds or less.
• 75% of today’s teens do NOT have a wristwatch. It’s all on their cellphones these days.
• 60% of people who rent movies do it alone. Several may watch, but only 1 does the picking.
• 52% of women have slept with a married man. And we’re not talking their husbands.
• 29% of us use 2 alarm clocks every workday. Stress? What stress?
• 20% of us now have a computer at home that we’re not using. Mostly because we don’t know what to do with outdated ones.

160 men & women from 23 countries have participated in the 10th annual “Sauna Championships” in Heinola, Finland. In each round, 6 competitors sit inside a sauna heated to 110 C (230 F). The winner is the last to leave. 2008’s overall champ is Bjarne Hermansson of Finland who took the heat for 18:15 minutes. Lelia Kulin sweated her way to the women’s title with a total time of 5:22. (230 degrees? Wouldn’t that make human soup?)
– “Metro”

• New research has found that, over a 4-year period, nearly 50,000 people have been hurt in accidents involving … golf carts.
• The average human body contains enough sulphur to kill all the fleas on an average-sized dog; enough carbon to make 900 pencils; enough potassium to fire a toy cannon; enough phosphorous to make 2,200 match heads; enough water to fill a 10-gallon (38-liter) container; and enough iron to make a 3-inch (8-cm) nail. (So don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re good for nothing!)
– “San Diego Union-Tribune”
• According to a new study, Austin TX may be the hardest-drinking city in America. Some residents attribute those numbers to the city’s sizable population of college students.
– CosmoDaily

1926 [82] Fidel Castro (‘El Commandante’, ‘El Caballo’, ‘El Jefe Maximo’), Mayari, Cuba, Cuban President (1959-2008) who has turned over duties to his brother, Raul Castro

1955 [53] Paul Greengrass, Cheam UK, movie director (“The Bourne Ultimatum”, “United 93”)

1973 [35] Andy Griggs, West Monroe LA, country singer (“If Heaven”, “She Thinks She Needs Me”)

1975 [33] Marty Turco, Sault Ste Marie ON, NHL goaltender (Dallas Stars)/NHL record for ‘Most Shutouts in a Playoff Series’ (3 vs Vancouver in 2007)

1978 [30] Mike Melancon, Mount Laurier QC, country musician (Emerson Drive-“Moments”, “Fall Into Me”)

• “International Lefthanders Day”, first celebrated on Friday, August 13, 1976 to salute that forgotten visible minority … lefties. Only about 11% of women and 8% of men are left-handed. If you’re one of them, shake off the oppression and stand up for your lefts!

• They statistically tend to be more accident-prone, perhaps explaining why they’re also more likely to die young.
• One reason for the above may be that most products are geared for right-handed people (computer mouse, pencil sharpener, scissors, etc).
• They’re much more likely to become alcoholics than right-handers.
• They’re also more likely to be geniuses … as well as insane.
• 88% of left-handed students complain about smudging their work when using pencils or pens.
• Left-handers usually reach puberty 4-to-5 months after right-handers.
• When a lefty sits at the table, they always bump elbows with the right-hander sitting next to them.
• Stuttering and dyslexia occur more often in left-handers, particularly if they are forced to change their writing hand as a child.
The ‘Left-Hander of the Year’ will be announced TODAY here …

• “Skinny Dipping Day”, saluting the decadent delight of swimming in the altogether. (Hey, when’s ‘Fat Dipping Day’?)

• “Stay Home With Your Kids Day”, initiated in 1996 by the online magazine “Work At Home Moms”, to encourage and support all parents who have chosen to be home with their children. For those who don’t, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a vacation day and give serious thought about making the change. (Read today’s “Adam@Home” comic strip … that’ll cure you!)

1942 [66] Disney movie “Bambi” premieres in NYC (the mommy dies!!! … sorry, thought I’d gotten over that)

1997 [11] TV cartoon series “South Park” debuts (the first time ‘Kenny’ gets killed)

1988 [20] Bobby McFerrin releases the novelty hit, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”

1998 [10] Aerosmith releases their biggest-ever hit, “I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing”

1990 [18] Gilles Duceppe becomes 1st MP elected as a member of the Bloc Québécois (Laurier-Ste-Marie)

2004 [04] Opening ceremony for the “Games of the XXVIII Olympiad” in Athens, Greece (where the modern Olympics were first held in 1896)

1981 [27] World distance record set for ‘Cow Chip Throwing’ at 266 feet (and that’s no BS!)

1988 [20] Ronald Dossenbach sets record for ‘Cycling Across Canada’, peddling all the way from Vancouver to Halifax in 13 days, 15 hours, 4 minutes

[Thurs] Senior Citizens Day
[Thurs] Financial Awareness Day
[Thurs] International Nagging Day
[Fri] Canadian National Exhibition (Toronto)
[Fri] Relaxation Day
[Fri] Failures Day
[Sat] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon
[Sun] Thriftshop Day
[Sun] 12th Wreck Beach Bare Buns Run (Vancouver)
This Week Is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Hair Loss Awareness Month

Newcomer or old school … which is best? Ask a listener/guest/crew member to pick.
• Email or old-fashioned handwritten note?
• ‘Batmobile’ or ‘General Lee’?
• Digital downloads or vinyl albums?
• Frozen pizza or homemade?
• Jonas Brothers or New Kids On the Block?
• Elliptical machines or aerobics?
• “America’s Got Talent” or “Star Search”?
• Blackberry or briefcase?
• Hybrid or muscle car?
• DVR or VCR?

Who is the most successful person personally known to you?

HillBilly HotDogs serves up fast food in 3 West Virginia locations … BIG fast food. For instance, there’s a 15-inch-long, 3.5-lb hot dog called ‘The Homewrecker’ for free … provided you eat it in under 4 minutes. Otherwise, it’ll set you back $14.99 (and take about 3 years off you life). If burgers are more your style, the ‘Hillybilly Double Wide’ ought to fill you up … it weighs 10 lbs and costs $39.99. It’s served with 24 slices of cheese, 2 heads of lettuce, and 2 lbs of pickles (and we wonder why America is overweight). Is it a stunt menu or are folks actually eating this stuff?
PHONER: 304.762.2458 (Sonny Knight, Sharie McGarry)

Most men get to choose whatever their wives pick out for them.

Today’s Question: Studies show the more your team does THIS before a game, the less chance it has of winning.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: The more excited it gets.

Exercise makes your food taste better.

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