Thursday, August 21, 2008        Edition: #3841
The Sheet Hits the Fans!

Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag say they’re ‘not even remotely sick’ of “The Hills” (MTV) yet, but maybe the rest of us are as THIS WEEK’s 4th-season debut lost 27% of the show’s audience compared to MARCH (or were we just watching the Olympics?) . . . After personally caring for her 6-month-old twins Emme & Max so far, Jennifer Lopez says she’s finally finding it necessary to hire a nanny, due to an ‘upcoming film and training for a triathlon’ (BS translation: Diapers have poop in them!) . . . 37-year-old former “Saturday Night Live” comic Chris Kattan has split from his wife, 31-year-old Sunshine Tutt, after a grueling 8 weeks of marriage (the good news is, he can still get his money back from the marriage license) . . . 85-year-old comic book legend Stan Lee, the brains behind “Spider-Man”, “Iron Man”, “The Fantastic Four”, etc, is said to be penning a cartoon called “Super Chick”, based on Paris Hilton (and her ‘superpowers’ would be?) . . . The LA divorce between former tennis ace Pam Shriver & one-time ‘James Bond’ actor George Lazenby is getting real ugly, she calling he an ‘abusive alcoholic’ who threatened to kill her; he calling she a pain-killer addict who put their kids in jeopardy by driving under the influence of drugs (the real losers here: a confused 4-year-old and 2-year-old twins) . . . 65-year-old former movie star Britt Ekland (“The Man With the Golden Gun”) claims 41-year-old Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman has compromised her career by using Botox, and now looks like a ‘painted doll’ (meow!) . . . And wannabe star Jessica Simpson has signed with Dallas-based Stampede Brewing Company to become the new face of ‘Stampede Light Plus’, in return for a reported 15% share of the company (sheesh, she can’t even pick a hit beer!).

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Flo Rida performs “Low” for the billionth time.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Australian rockers Airbourne (“Too Much, Too Young, Too Fast”) perform.
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Comeback singer Neil Diamond is a guest.
• “Montréal World Film Festival 2008“ – The 32nd annual opens with the world premiere of French director Christophe Barratier’s “Paris 36”; and Academy Award-winning producer Alan Ladd Jr (“Braveheart”) being honored with a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’. Also on tap through SEPTEMBER 1st: 234 feature films (105 of them world or international premieres); 13 medium-length films; and 208 shorts.

• Amy Winehouse – She’s in rehab … again. This time at a ‘small & friendly’ clinic in Bury St Edmunds, England, just a short drive from Highpoint Prison where her husband Blake Fielder-Civil is incarcerated. How handy.
• The Beatles – Their first management contract with Brian Epstein, signed by the ‘Fab Four’ in 1962, could fetch upwards of $500,000 when it goes up for auction NEXT MONTH at London’s Idea Generation Gallery.
• Coldplay – 31-year-old frontman Chris Martin says he’d never smash up a hotel room like some rockers do because … he used to clean them in his former job. He urges party people everywhere to ‘spare a thought for the poor schmuck cleaning the room’.
• Elton John – He’s been paid a reported $4 million to play in the Ukraine at the 70th birthday party of former president Leonid Kuchma. But the host’s piano wasn’t good enough … so he had his own flown in.
• Michael Jackson – He’s reportedly not spoken to his brothers since 2005, one reason being that he apparently owes them circa $840,000 in royalties from their string of 1970s hits. The rift is likely to prevent him from joining them onstage NEXT MONTH when the Jackson 5 pick up a ‘Lifetime Achievement Award’ at the “BMI Urban Awards” in Los Angeles.
• Pussycat Dolls – Nicole Scherzinger has laughed off reports she’s dating Black Eyed Peas star after she was spotted kissing him in an LA club. Will is ‘like a brother’, she claims. Her real BF is British Formula 1 racing driver Lewis Hamilton.
• U2 – Their new album is expected around JANUARY, followed by another world tour in MARCH and APRIL. Word has it they’ve been told to shed some weight to get in shape for it … especially Bono. (At just 5-foot, 6-and-a-half he can’t carry a lot of flab.)
• Wolfmother – Following rumors the band had fallen out, it’s been confirmed the Aussie rock trio is indeed done, due to ‘long-standing frictions’.

A BS selection of movies in the offing …
• “Gnomeo & Juliet” – James McAvoy (“Wanted”) & Emily Blunt (“The Devil Wears Prada“) are in negotiations to voice the lead roles in this new animated take on Shakespeare that features gnomes from rival gardens. As it’s being co-produced by Elton Johns’ Rocket Pictures, the adaptation is likely to feature several of his classic hits as well as new music. It’s expected to be completed by 2010.
• “Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince” – So what’s the real story on the release date for the 6th ‘Potter’ film being pushed back 8 months from this NOVEMBER to JULY, 2009? Some say the rationale is Warner Bros feared entering 2009 without a tent pole (a major film to support business). Others claim the studio is shy of releasing the flick while star Daniel Radcliffe is appearing on Broadway buck naked in “Equus” THIS FALL. He’s already riding a horse bareback (and front) in the new issue of “Vogue”, courtesy of photographer Annie Leibowitz.
• “Poltergeist” – MGM has hired a screenwriting team to pen a remake of this 1982 horror pic which was originally based on a script by Steven Spielberg. The first film, starring JoBeth Williams & Craig T Nelson, spawned a pair of sequels in the ‘80s. The story involves mysterious beings entering the walls of a family home after the youngest daughter connects with the supernatural through a dead TV channel.
• “The Rocky Horror Picture Show“ – MTV is set to produce a remake of the 1975 cult classic that starred Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon, and Meatloaf. The original has grossed $140 million in domestic box office, primarily from rabid fans who’ve shown up for midnight screenings over the past 3 decades. The new film will use the original screenplay but likely add music not featured in the first film. It’s slated for a 2010 opening. Let’s do the “Time Warp” again!
• “Valkyrie” – Director Bryan Singer’s World War 2 thriller has been moved up from its planned FEBRUARY 13, 2009 opening to DECEMBER 26th this year. Insiders suspect the switch is to get it on-screen in time for Academy Award consideration. The film’s release date has now been changed 3 times. Tom Cruise stars in the suspense thriller, based on the true story of Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg and the daring and ingenious plot to eliminate Adolf Hitler and overthrow his Nazi government.

The International Olympic Committee has gone to great lengths to make certain the logos of companies who are not official sponsors of the Beijing Games are not seen on TV or in other media coverage. Reports say some spectators wearing clothing bearing logos of non-sponsors have actually been barred from stands, and the brand names of non-sponsor companies have been covered throughout Olympic venues so it doesn’t appear they’re being given a free ride. For instance, the American Standard trademarks on faucets around the main stadium have been taped over. Even the sign atop an InterContinental Hotel next to the press center has been covered with a cloth because the chain is not a sponsor. (It always comes down to $.)

A statistical breakdown of life by the numbers …
• 96% of us don’t enjoy kissing people with bad breath. (Um, what’s up with the other 4%?)
• 53% of women say they’re most competitive with friends about their weight. (“I just cracked 120, neener neener neener!”)
• 33% of us have slept while at work. (Nowadays many employers actually encourage napping.)
• 25% of women carry a calculator in their purses. (Just 1% have an actual accountant in there.)
• 21% of women say a guy would have to have a moustache to qualify as the ‘perfect man’. (Far fewer guys say this about women.)
• 10% of women admit they’ve shed tears while in a clothing store fitting room. (“It fits! It fits! I’m so happy!”)

Several major media companies, including CBS and Lions Gate, have stopped demanding that  YouTube take down unauthorized clips and have instead started selling ads alongside them. The new tactic seems especially surprising for CBS, whose corporate sibling Viacom sued YouTube and its parent company Google for $1 billion, alleging copyright infringement. The thinking behind the new strategy is to let fans interact with the content. The media companies now agree that most of those uploading movies & videos aren’t pirates trying to gain revenue … they’re just fans. (If you can’t stop it, make money from it!)
– “New York Times”

• People whose favorite colors are red, orange, or black tend to aspire to jobs as ‘evaluators’. Experts say they should consider support situations such as banking, operational support, computer repair, childcare, or selling supportive products. (Wonderbras?)
• By definition, fruit is the fleshy or dry ripened ovaries of plants, containing seeds. Botanically speaking, that makes grains of wheat, corn and rice, as well as squash, peppers and eggplant, all fruit. Vegetables, meanwhile, are the edible leaves, stalks, roots, tubers, bulbs, and flowers of a plant. (What’s that make Brussels sprouts? They’re certainly not ‘edible’.)

1938 [70] Kenny Rogers, Houston TX, classic country singer (“Lucille”, “Coward Of the County”)/Diamond Award for sales of more than 10 million copies of his “Greatest Hits” album/former TV-movie actor (“The Gambler I-VI”)/plastic surgery victim

1956 [52] Kim Cattrall, Widnes UK [raised Vancouver Island], movie actress (“Sex & The City: The Movie”)/TV actress (‘Samantha Jones’ on “Sex & The City” 1998-2004)

1967 [41] Serj Tankian, Beirut, Lebanon, rock singer (“Sky is Over”, “Empty Walls”, w/System Of A Down-“Hypnotize”, “Aerials”)

1967 [41] Carrie-Anne Moss, Burnaby BC, movie actress (“Disturbia“, “The Matrix” trilogy)

1973 [35] Sergey Brin, Moscow, Russia [grew up in Adelphi MD], computer wiz who co-founded Google with Larry Page in 1998/5th-richest person in the USA/4th-youngest billionaire in the world (personal net worth estimated at $18.5 billion)

1979 [29] Kelis (Rogers-Jones), Harlem NY, R&B singer (“Lil’ Star”, “Milkshake”)/married to rapper Nas since 2005

1983 [25] Brody Jenner, LA CA, reality TV personality (“The Hills”, “The Princes of Malibu”)/sometime model (Guess?)/son of former Olympic decathlon champion Bruce Jenner & actress Linda Thompson  UP NEXT: Hosts the new MTV series “Bromance”, in which guys compete in a series of challenges that test the limits of male bonding.

1986 [22] Usain Bolt, Trelawny, Jamaica, sprinter (2008 Olympic Golds-100 meters & 200 meters, 2 Silvers-2007 World Championship)/world 100 meter record (9.69 seconds) & 200 meter record (19.30 seconds)

1989 [19] Hayden Panettiere, Palisades NY, TV actress (the cheerleader ‘Claire Bennet” on “Heroes” since 2006)/wannabe pop singer (“Wake Up Call”)

• “Forgiveness Day”, a day to forgive spouses, children, family, friends, neighbors & enemies, even if you don’t tell them. It’s also a day to forgive … yourself.

• “Senior Citizens Day”, the 20th annual observance to recognize and show appreciation for the value and contribution of elders to home, family, and society.

• “Spumoni Day”, honoring the pistachio ice cream filled with dried fruits and nuts. The original Italian Spumoni is a molded dessert made by layering 2 or 3 different flavors of ice cream with a layer of sweetened whipped cream which has nuts and candied fruit folded in. Yummers!

• “Statehood Day” in Hawaii, celebrating the anniversary of it becoming the 50th state to join the USA on August 21, 1959. Two things Hawaii doesn’t have … snakes and billboards.

2005 [03] The Rolling Stones kick off “A Bigger Bang” world tour at Fenway Park in Boston MA (after pauses for a concussion and alcohol rehab, it wraps 2 years later as the highest grossing tour of all-time at over $558 million)

1933 [75] 1st Major League Baseball ‘All-Star Game’ (Babe Ruth’s HR leads AL to 4-2 win)

1973 [35] 1st house made totally of recycled material (Richmond VA)

1986 [22] Colin Watson & Andre Douglas set the ‘World Hairdressing Record’ in Northcliff, South Africa by cutting, setting, and styling continuously for 408 hours … 17 days!

2017 [09] The next ‘Total Solar Eclipse’ visible from North America will happen on this day

[Fri] Tooth Fairy Day
[Fri] “Cirque du Soleil: Delirium”, “Death Race“; “House Bunny”; and “The Longshots” open in movie theaters
[Mon] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Tues] Make Your Own Luck Day
This Week Is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month

A new ranking of the sexiest scream-queens of all-time …
5. Barbara Steele (“Piranha” 1978, “Curse Of the Crimson Altar” 1968)
4. Linnea Quigley (“A Nightmare On Elm Street 4” 1988, “The Return Of the Living Dead”1985)
3. Anna Falchi (“Dellamorte Dellamore” 1994)
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt (“I Still Know What You Did Last Summer” 1998, “I Know What You Did Last Summer” 1997)
1. Sarah Michelle-Gellar (“The Grudge” 2004, “Scream 2” 1997)
– condensed from

If you could trade places with a celebrity for a day, whom would you choose and why?

You’ve just committed ‘pseudocide’. What the heck did you do?
a. Planned a murder.
b. Faked your own death. [CORRECT]
c. Tossed your cookies.

Here’s a relatively cheap and easy way to increase name recognition. Plastic leaf/yard waste bags are quickly being replaced by recyclable brown paper sacks in many communities. Canadian Tire, Wal-Mart, and Costco are selling them emblazoned with their logos, realizing thousands of eco-friendly bags sitting at the curb every week make for great signage. So why not get your own printed up with your station ID … in green. Then give them away free whenever you’re on location.

Really, I AM a virgin … I’m just not very good at it.

Today’s Question: THIS is the #1 thing people buy at the dollar store.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Cleaning supplies.

Do unto others as though you were the other.

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