Tuesday, August 26, 2008        Edition: #3844
Another Sheetload of Bull!

Just as she was about begin rehearsals for her upcoming stint on “Dancing With the Stars” (ABC) Kim Kardashian (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians”) has been treated in a NYC hospital for a badly cut foot due to an accident involving a glass coffee table in a hotel room (we’d like to hear how that happened) . . . Police have determined 22-year-old actress Amanda Bynes (“Hairspray“) is to blame for a weekend traffic accident in LA in which her BMW was slammed into while she was making a lefthand turn, but there was no booze, drugs, or major injuries (even her car crashes are family-friendly) . . . “The Dark Knight“ has now surpassed $870 million in worldwide box office, bumping it up to #15 all-time (#2 in domestic box, after “Titanic”) . . . 46-year-old actress Meg Ryan (“Sleepless in Seattle”) says she’s glad she’s no longer one of Hollywood’s leading actresses because she now enjoys ‘an anonymous existence traveling the world’ (BS translation: All that awful plastic surgery has left me unrecognizable) . . . Warner Bros is suing Mumbai-based film studio Mirchi Movies for allegedly infringing on the “Harry Potter” copyright with an upcoming movie entitled “Hari Puttar – A Comedy of Terrors”, which follows the life of a 10-year-old Indian boy who moves to Britain (even though the ‘Potter’ franchise has grossed over $1.4 billion, they can’t take a joke) . . . An imposter claiming to be the manager of movie actress Lindsay Lohan and “Gossip Girl” star Blake Lively is wreaking havoc in NYC by booking parties in hotels and clubs for the stars, and private store viewings at boutiques such as Prada and Gucci but neither actress shows up because, according to Lohan’s rep, ‘no one knows who the creep is’ (we’re betting on a local morning show personality) . . . And perhaps due to the much maligned new ‘Vista’ operating system, Microsoft is said to be spending circa $10 million on an image makeover in a series of TV ads featuring Bill Gates alongside – Jerry Seinfeld (this would be really ‘hip’ … if it was 1990).

• “Canadian Idol” (CTV) – The top 4 face elimination after performances by THIS WEEK’s mentor, Anne Murray, and “American Idol 6” winner Jordin Sparks (“No Air”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV) – Country star and new pop Keith Urban is featured.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Rapper The Game is onstage.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Gavin DeGraw (“In Love With a Girl”) guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Oldies singers Little Anthony & The Imperials are on.
• Our Lady Peace – Frontman Raine Maida releases his first solo album effort, “The Hunter’s Lullaby”.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – Beyoncé’s little sister Solange (“I Decided”) performs.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Blues legend BB King is a guest.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Jessica Simpson will likely spout off about how her relationship with NFL QB Tony Romo is still on … no matter what Carrie Underwood says.

• Avril Lavigne – Her FRIDAY concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia ahead of the country’s Independence Day celebrations is officially a go. A call by the local Islamist party to ban the show because the content is purportedly ‘too sexy’ has been turned down.
• Barenaked Ladies – Ed Robertson has survived a plane crash north of Bancroft ON after a Cessna carrying him and 3 others lost airspeed after takeoff. All 4 walked out of the woods to report the incident.
• Bob Marley – A statue of the late reggae legend has been unveiled in a small Serbian village during a rock festival as a token of peace in the Balkans. Musicians from Croatia and Serbia were joined by rock fans for the midnight ceremony in Banatski Sokolac. Odd, no?
• Coldplay – Frontman Chris Martin reveals the band has taken up a new hobby to help them unwind … sewing. He claims the secret pastime has made them a more ‘closely-knit’ group and given them control over their visual identity onstage.
• The Doors – Keyboardist Ray Manzarek & guitarist Robby Krieger are on the hook for over $5 million for improperly invoking The Doors name and images during a 2003 concert tour. Since the California Supreme Court has now refused to review the case, they’ll have to pay up to former drummer John Densmore, deceased singer Jim Morrison’s parents, and the parents of Morrison’s deceased wife.
• Janet Jackson – Her new lingerie line will be called “Pleasure Principle”, named after a song that no one really remembers from 1987. She says lingerie is a passion like music and acting, and she can’t do it unless she ‘puts 100% into it’. (Let’s hope what she puts into stays in and doesn’t suffer another wardrobe malfunction.)
• Led Zeppelin – Reports say Jason Bonham, son of late Led Zep drummer John Bonham, is leaving Foreigner at the end of the month to work with Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones in developing some new material for the band. Jason played with the group at their one-off show in London LAST DECEMBER.
• Mariah Carey – She’ll perform during the results episode of the 2-hour “Canadian Idol” finalé on SEPTEMBER 10th.

• “Postal” ( Action Comedy ): Zack Ward (“BloodRayne 2“) and Dave Foley (“The Kids In the Hall”) star as a recently laid-off loser and his cult-leading uncle who team up to attempt a heist at an amusement park. Things get out of hand when the recently arrived Taliban (huh?!?) show up with a similar plan, but a far more sinister intent. Shot entirely in Vancouver.
• “Redbelt” ( Action Drama ): A fateful event leads to a job in the film business for a top mixed-martial arts instructor (Chiwetel Ejiofor). Though he refuses to participate in prize bouts, circumstances conspire to force him to consider entering a competition. Tim Allen co-stars in a rare non-comedy role.
• “What Happens in Vegas” ( Romantic Comedy ): Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher play random strangers who wake up in a Vegas hotel room to discover they got married during a night of drunken debauchery. Further complicating things – they also won a $3 million jackpot while playing the slots. Available in an ‘Extended Jackpot Edition’.
• Also released TODAY: “Entourage: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “Heroes: Season 2“ (TV);
“NCIS: The 5th Season” (TV); “One Tree Hill: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas: Collector’s Edition”; “Warner Home Video Western Classics Collection”; and “Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?” (Documentary).

A BS snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 97% of women say that a man’s dirty bathroom would be a date-ending turn-off.
• 90% of singles say they would reject someone as a mate if they didn’t like their pet.
• 43% of us change our hairstyle less than every 5 years.
• 41% of people in a relationship have an email address that they keep secret.
• 27% of people skip ahead to find out what will happen in a book before they finish it.
• 7% of us would rather quit our jobs than give up our cellphones.

Don’t you hate it when you want to change the TV channel only to find out your remote control’s battery is completely dead? With the steadily growing stream of eco-friendly wind-up gadgets (radios, flashlights, etc) it was only a matter of time before the good old wind-up mechanism should find its way into remotes. The new ‘Wind Up Remote Control’ requires just 30 full turns of the wind-up dial to fully charge the built-in generator, which should last you about a week. The gizmo is priced at about $39. (Why can’t we have wind-up cars?)
– GeekAlerts.com

Hollywood is on the verge of breaking into an entirely new virtual world. New computer systems have been developed to make digital doubles of actors which are so realistic that audiences will never notice. The latest technology creates models of real people that can be seamlessly morphed into action scenes featuring real-life actors. A graphics researcher at the University of Southern California says the technology is just at the cusp of being able to create full-fledged movie stars. But for a while yet, the cheapest way to make movies will be for real actors to follow the wishes of an on-site director. (You can bet studios would be willing to pay extra to avoid working with difficult actors. Are you listening Mike Myers?)
– BBC News

There’s a strange fashion trend afoot with today’s teenage girls … they’re dressing modestly! While skimpy clothes still dominate the fashion scene, there’s now a flipside to girls gone wild – a building modesty movement among many young women. Observers say the ‘modesty revolution’ is being led by the young girls themselves. These modest fashionistas want to fit in and be cool … just not trashy. They prefer necklines higher and hemlines lower – no more than 4 fingers above the knee. There’s even a new magazine called “Eliza” that specializes in ‘modest and modern fashion’. ([Local Catholic school] has been into this for like 50 years.)
NET: http://www.elizamagazine.com
– ABC News

• 1-out-of-20 people have an extra rib.
• Every 3 days a human stomach gets a new lining.
• Gastric flu can cause projectile vomiting.
– GreatFacts.com

1961 [47] Jimmy Olander, Palos Verdes CA, country singer (Diamond Rio-“I Believe”, “Beautiful Mess”)

1966 [42] Dan Vickrey, Walnut Creek CA, rock guitarist/vocalist (Counting Crows-“Big Yellow Taxi”, “Einstein On the Beach”)

1969 [39] Adrian Young, Long Beach CA, rock drummer (No Doubt-“It’s My Life”, “Hey Baby”)

1980 [28] Macaulay Culkin, NYC, former child star (“Home Alone”, “Uncle Buck”)/former Michael Jackson pal

1993 [15] Keke Palmer, Harvey IL, movie actress (“The Longshots”, “Akeelah & The Bee”)

• “Make Your Own Luck Day”, a day to take affirmative action to gain control of your life. Taking responsibility for your own actions … what a concept!

• “Single Parent Family Day”, a day to celebrate the efforts of one parent doing the work of 2.

• “Truck  Driver Appreciation Week”. Without truckers, our stuff would never get delivered. Ever notice that truckers always say they ‘drive truck’, not ‘drive trucks’?
NET: http://www.truckline.com/ntdaw

• “Women’s Equality Day”, celebrating the civil rights movement by women that had its formal beginnings in 1848 at the world’s first women’s rights convention, in Seneca Falls NY.

1968 [40] The Beatles release one of the biggest singles of all-time and the first on their Apple label, “Hey Jude” (proving it is possible to have a huge hit containing the f-word, John Lennon’s ‘F—ing hell’ coming at the 2:58 mark)

1970 [38] Jimi Hendrix plays his final concert at the UK’s Isle of Wight Pop Festival (3 weeks before his death)

580 [1428] 1st ‘Toilet Paper’ is invented by the Chinese (but it takes another 1,000 years to replace the handy stick or pile of leaves in the Western world)

1929 [79] 1st ‘Roller Coaster’ built in America (next day, the 1st upchuck found on a roller coaster seat)

1939 [69] 1st ‘Major League Baseball telecast’ features Reds vs Dodgers (WZXBS in NYC)

1961 [47] ‘Hockey Hall of Fame’ opens in Toronto

1996 [12] 1st ‘World Cup of Hockey’ begins in Stockholm (eventually won by USA, dammit!)

[Wed] Petroleum Day
[Wed] La Tomatina tomato fight (Bunol, Spain)
[Wed-Sept 6] Venice Film Festival
[Fri] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Sat] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Sat] Country Rocks 2008 (Halifax NS)
[Sun] Trail Mix Day
[Sun] Love Litigating Lawyers Day
This Week Is … Save Your Smile Week
This Month Is … Cataract Awareness Month

What do you do with the grounds after brewing coffee? Most of us toss them in the trash, but they are actually worth keeping for other uses such as …
• Ant Repellent – For some reason, ants dislike the scent and properties of coffee grounds.
• Compost – When mixed with soil, they release nutrients that make the earth richer.
• Exfoliant – Rubbing skin with coffee ground extract removes dead skin cells.
• Fireplace Dust Regulator – Toss in a handful of wet grounds after a fire to hold dust in place.
• Fridge Deodorizer – Like baking soda, coffee grounds gradually absorb unwanted scents.
• Hair Product – Wash your hair with coffee grounds and rinse for softer, shinier hair.
• Pet Grooming – A solution of coffee ground extract and water will soften your pet’s fur.
• Pet Repellant – Keep pets from defecating in your garden by spreading a mixture of coffee grounds and orange peels.
• Scratch Remover – Coffee ground extract can erase furniture scratches after several forceful scrubs.
• Shoe Deodorizer – Place used coffee grounds in your shoes to remove odor.
– LifeHackery.com

• “Cat: The Other White Meat”
• “Caution – Driver Legally Blonde!”
• “Don’t Be Sexist – Broads Hate That”
• “Heart Attacks – God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends”
• “Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window”
• “How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?”
• “If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets”
• “Money Isn’t Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch”
• “Saw It … Wanted It … Had a Fit … Got It!”
• “My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom”

What is the most personally embarrassing thing you can imagine?

Which is the only city in the world located on 2 continents?
a. Istanbul, Turkey. [CORRECT. Europe and Asia.]
b. Moscow, Russia.
c. New York, New York.
– Wiki.Answers.com

The online ‘Flesh Map’ tells you how often various parts of the body are mentioned in songs. You just pick a musical genre (ie: ‘country’), then click on the pics of body parts to get the stats. ‘Eyes’ are mentioned in 12.65% of country songs; ‘tongue’ in only 0.47%. In fact, ‘eyes’ are the top body part in 8 genres of music, but not hip-hop. That’s where ‘ass’ reigns supreme.
NET: http://www.fleshmap.com/listen/music.html

I don’t suffer from insanity … I enjoy every minute of it.

Today’s Question: In 1980 over half of households had one of THESE, but nowadays they are practically non-existent.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Hot-air popcorn poppers.

The human is the only animal that blushes … or needs to.

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