Wednesday, August 27, 2008        Edition: #3845
Bully For You!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Apparently all is not well on “The Hills” (MTV) as the cast is grumbling about drama queen Laura Conrad getting $75,000 per episode, far more than others, thanks to a contract clause stipulating no one can be paid more than her (by comparison, Brody Jenner gets just $10,000) . . . 42-year-old “Two & a Half Men” star Charlie Sheen has announced he & 31-year-old wife Brooke Mueller are expecting their 1st child together (adding to his 2 daughters with Denise Richards & a 25-year-old daughter from a previous relationship) . . . “Heroes” actress Hayden Panittiere taken an interesting tactic to explain her father’s recent arrest for alleged felony domestic violence, calling out the cops for being fame-whores (hey girl, it wasn’t them that administered the smackdown – for once) . . . 2005 Driver of the Year (we jest), actress Michelle Rodriguez, is returning to “Lost” (ABC), at least for 1 episode in the upcoming season (amazing considering the bullet-riddled body of ‘Ana-Lucia’ should be entering the final stages of decomposition by now) . . . The new season of “Dancing With the Stars” (debuting SEPTEMBER 22nd) will include former *NSYNC singer Lance Bass, Olympic beach volleyball player Misty May-Treanor, R&B singer Toni Braxton, 18-year-old “Hannah Montana” actor Jake Ryan, and 61-year-old “All My Children” soap actress Susan Lucci . . . Actor & long-time photography hobbyist Brad Pitt has shot partner Angelina Jolie & their ever-growing brood for the NOVEMBER cover of “W”, his inaugural magazine cover (one cover that might not need to be Photoshopped) . . . Songwriter Kara DioGuardi, who’s just been announced as a 4th judge for the upcoming 8th season of “American Idol” debuting in JANUARY, has had her songs recorded by Avril Lavigne, Carrie Underwood, Celine Dion, Christina Aguilera, Faith Hill, Kelly Clarkson, and Pink to name a few . . . Paula Abdul is already talking smack about her new cohort, saying she has mixed feelings about the addition of another judge and is ‘concerned about the audience and acceptance’ (BS translation: I’m gonna look even dumber when this 2-bit songwriter manages to speak in complete sentences).

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Flashback – The Classic Rock Experience” – The nearly 50-date arena tour by the Mystic Orchestra launches in Mobile AL. The $5.5-million collaboration of rock & orchestra musicians, technical wizards, and design specialists highlights classics by Deep Purple, the Doors, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Led Zeppelin, and Pink Floyd among others.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV): Country band Lady Antebellum (“Lookin’ For a Good Time”) performs.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Sheryl Crow (“Detours”) guests.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Rapper Nas (“Hero”) performs.
• Rage Against The Machine – They play a free show at the Denver Coliseum during the Democratic National Convention as part of the “Tent State Music Festival to End the War”.
NET: http://www.tentstate.org
• “Venice Film Festival” – The 65th edition of one of the world’s most prestigious film fests (through SEPTEMBER 6th) kicks off with a screening of the Coen Bros’ “Burn After Reading”, a spy comedy starring George Clooney, John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, and Frances McDormand.
NET: http://www.labiennale.org/en/cinema

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• AC/DC – Their upcoming album “Black Ice” (out OCTOBER 21st) will come in 3 different collectible covers, a clever way to triple sales to diehard fans.
• Cher – Rumors are flying the 62-year-old will play ‘Catwoman’ in the next “Batman” movie. Truth be told, there’ve been no announcements whatsoever, including whether director Christopher Nolan and star Christian Bale are coming back, much less who the villains will be.
• John Mayer – Now that he’s dumped Jennifer Aniston, the paparazzi have apparently lost interest in him. One photog reveals Mayer recently tipped off paps he was going to a party but … no one bothered to follow him.
• Ozzy Osbourne – An upcoming documentary being exec-produced by his son will attempt to paint a realistic picture of the geezer rocker. Thanks to the MTV show “The Osbournes”, Jack Osbourne claims, his dad is perceived as ‘a senile, funny, bumbling guy’. And?
• Trisha Yearwood – On a recent flight home to Oklahoma, she and other passengers heard a loud pop like a gunshot. In fact, it was the cracking of a front window at 30,000 ft. Fortunately, an emergency landing was made in Baltimore MD before it affected control of the plane.

BS TRUE CRIME:
• A cheeky hiker jailed for walking across Germany naked has been allowed to go nude in the hoosgow because … prison clothes depress him. Siegfried Grawert was sentenced to 10 weeks behind bars in Nuremberg for failing to pay fines for hiking mountain paths sans clothes. Now prison officials have given him a solitary cell where he can sit out his sentence … in the buff.
– Ananova News Service
• A NYC man convicted in a hit-and-run death in 2005 is suing the city, claiming his car was damaged while impounded. 38-year-old Harry Shasho alleges that during the 1-and-a-half years the vehicle was in the impound lot, NYPD allowed mold and water damage to take hold, rendering the vehicle inoperable. He’s seeking a whopping $190,000. The car, you see, is a Bentley Continental.
– “New York Post“
• A woman accused of killing her 2-year-old nephew may have found a strange way to avoid jail …by being too fat. Mayra Rosales of Hidalgo County TX is bedridden and weighs nearly 1,000 lbs. The morbidly obese woman has been photographed and finger-printed at home then released on ‘personal recognizance’ because she can’t get through her front door to be taken to court and/or jail. So, for now at least, the lady remains … at large.
– Sky News

WORST WORDS:
Collins Dictionary researchers have determined the most commonly misspelled word in the English language is ‘supersede’. It’s estimated the word is misspelled at least 1 out of every 10 times because many other similar words – such as ‘intercede’ and ‘precede’ – are spelled with the letter ‘c’ instead of ‘s’. The research used a software program that went through thousands of documents on the Internet, including published books, blogs, and news articles. Other commonly misspelled words include ‘conscience’, ‘indict’, ‘foreign’, ‘mortgage’ and … ‘phlegm’. (Not to mention ‘misspelled’.)
– “Daily Telegraph”

IS SHE HOT OR NOT?
An Italian priest says he’s organizing the world’s first beauty pageant for nuns to erase a stereotype of them being old and dour. Father Antonio Rungi has announced the ‘Sister Italia’ contest will start on his blog in SEPTEMBER. He’s asking 18-to-40-year-old nuns to send their photos to him which he’ll post online, then allow Internet users to pick a winner. “Nuns are – above all – women”, Rungi says, “and beauty is a gift from God.” (BS translation: I’m so tired of altar boys.)
– UPI

SIT UP STRAIGHT!
Memphis TN neurologist Moacir Schnapp has developed a posture-improvement device he calls the ‘iPosture’. Worn as a pendant, clipped to clothing, or stuck directly on the skin, the gadget vibrates whenever the user slouches and continues to vibrate until posture is corrected. It’s designed to be worn about 4 hours a day for the first month to ingrain the habit of good posture. After that, the recommended usage is 2-to-3 times a week. (Isn’t improving your posture what moms are all about?)
NET: http://iposture.com
– Business Wire

FAT FEE:
If you’re overweight and work for the State of Alabama, it’ll soon cause you $25 to work every month. Ranked the 3rd-fattest state in America (behind Mississippi and West Virginia), Alabama will be the first to charge state employees for not slimming down. Close to 38,000 workers have been given a year to get fit or they’ll have to pay $25-a-month for insurance that is otherwise free. (What do you think … should pudgy people pay more for medical?)
– NBC News

WORLD’S MOST LIVABLE CITIES:
Mercer’s annual ‘Quality of Life Survey’ compares some 215 cities on 39 criteria, including safety, education, hygiene, recreation, political-economic stability, and public transportation. The top 5 in 2008 …
5. Dusseldorf, Germany
4. Auckland, New Zealand
3. Vancouver, Canada
2. [tie] Geneva, Switzerland / Vienna, Austria
1. Zurich, Switzerland
Other Canadian cites listed: Toronto (15), Ottawa (19), Montreal (22) and Calgary at (25).
Top US cities listed: Honolulu HI (28), San Francisco CA (29), and Boston MA (37).
– citymayors.com

FOR THE RECORD:
• A 61-year-old woman in Japan has just given birth to … her own granddaughter. In a controversial procedure by the Suwa Maternity Clinic, the surrogate mother had her daughter’s already fertilized egg implanted in her womb. The unnamed woman is now thought to hold the record as the oldest Japanese woman to ever give birth successfully.
– Times Online
• A New Zealand man has set a new world record for the ‘Most Bungee Jumps in 24 Hours’, diving 103 times from an Auckland bridge. Afterward, Mike Heard claimed that once you get over the fear, it’s really, really enjoyable. (Just before heading off for fresh underwear.)
– AP

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• In only 4 of the last 20 US presidential elections has the shorter candidate won. For the record, Barack Obama is 6-ft-1, John McCain is 5-ft-9. Hillary Clinton, at 5-ft-5, had a chance to become the shortest president since James Madison, 5-ft-4 (1809-1817).
– “Washington Post”
• There is no such thing as sun block. No product can completely protect you from UV radiation. Experts say to get the best results, you should be using 100 ml of sunscreen a day and reapplying it every 2 hours … more frequently if participating in sports or water activities.
– “GQ”
• According to a new Harris Interactive survey of more than 10,000 newlyweds, you’re now more likely to find your true love on the Internet than at work or at a party. The odds increase dramatically for those over 45.
– “New Scientist”

BS CHRONOMETER 08.27.08
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [55] Alex Lifeson (Zivojinovich), Fernie BC, classic rock singer/guitarist (Rush-“One Little Victory”, “Test for Echo”)

1969 [39] Chandra Wilson, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Dr Miranda Bailey’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1970 [38] Tony Kanal, Kingsbury UK, rock bassist (No Doubt-“It’s My Life”, “Underneath It All”)

1972 [36] Mike Smith, Thorburn NS, TV actor (‘Bubbles’ on “Trailer Park Boys” 2001-07)

1976 [32] Sarah Chalke, Ottawa ON, TV actress (‘Dr Elliot Reid’ on “Scrubs” since 2001)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Just Because Day”, a chance to do something spontaneously without rhyme or reason. Most often in life, we do things because we have to, we want to, or they’re expected of us. None of those reasons apply on this day.

• “La Tomatina”, the annual tomato fight staged on the last WEDNESDAY of AUGUST in the town of Bunol, Spain. Nearly 140 tons of tomatoes are trucked in to enable some 20 thousand revellers to wage a battle kicked off by the firing of a rocket. An hour later the end of the festival is announced with another rocket and the clean up of the tomato-slimed streets begins.
NET: http://www.latomatina.org

• “Petroleum Day”, honoring the very first successful oil well drilled near Titusville PA 149 years ago (1859). It’s a day of celebration if you belong to the ritzy Petroleum Club in Calgary or Edmonton, Houston, Fort Worth or Tulsa, but a day of mourning if your gas-guzzling Chevy Avalanche is on empty.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1965 [43] The Beatles have their legendary only meeting with Elvis Presley, hanging out at his Bel Air CA home

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1955 [53] 1st publication of “Guinness Book of World Records” (sells over 70 million copies, more than any other book excepting the Bible and the Qur’an)

1990 [18] Toronto Blue Jays game in Skydome delayed 35 minutes due to … gnats

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1982 [26] ‘Largest Apple Pie’, weighing 30,115 lbs is baked in 40-by-23 ft dish by TV chef Glynn Christian in Chelsfield, England

1994 [14] ‘Largest Balloon Release’ as a total of 1,592,744 are released by Disney Home Video at Longleat House, England

2003 [05] Mars and Earth pass within 34.6 million miles of each other, the closest since September 12, 57617 BC

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Sat] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Sat] Country Rocks 2008 (Halifax NS)
[Sat] Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band @ Harley Davidson’s 105th Anniversary Festival (Milwaukee WI)
[Sun] Trail Mix Day
[Sun] Love Litigating Lawyers Day
[Mon] Labor Day (no BS service)
This Week Is … Be Kind to Humankind Week
This Month Is … Water Quality Month

BULL’S BITS
BS SIGNS YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR HER:
• You’re always dumbing down conversations around her.
• None of your friends like her.
• She can’t pay for anything.
• She’s amazed by things you take for granted.
• She has poor hygiene.
• She gets in trouble with the law.
• Her best asset is her looks.
– AskMen.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
What do you think is the most important invention of the last 100 years?

WHAT WON’T MARTHA PUT HER NAME ON?
You run down the product list while a contestant/guest/crew member decides which are actually endorsed by lifestyle maven Martha Stewart and which are just a crock of BS …
• The Martha Stewart Commercial Deep Fryer [BS]
• The Martha Stewart T-Square Craft Ruler
• The Martha Stewart House
• The Martha Stewart Crayon Collection [BS]
• Martha Stewart Vintage Wine
• The Martha Stewart Dog-Grooming Kit [BS]
• The Martha Stewart Car Windshield Visor [BS]
• The Martha Stewart Gazebo
• The Martha Stewart Conservatory Chandelier
• Martha Stewart Adult Diapers [BS]
– adapted from “Mental Floss Magazine”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If you think you’ll hate yourself in the morning … sleep till noon.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women are now doing THIS less, while men are doing it more.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Shopping for clothes. Latest quarterly stats show sales of women’s wear are off more than 3% but menswear sales are up by more than 2%.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The best alternative to intelligence is silence.


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