Friday, August 6, 2010               Edition: #4316
Avoid Sheet Fits – Don’t Forget to Renew Your Subscription!

As rumored, “So You Think You Can Dance” producer/judge Nigel Lythgoe is returning to produce “American Idol” after a 2-season absence, but he contends the show doesn’t need a ‘huge facelift’ (even though 3 faces have been lifted – so far) . . . “Glee” creator Ryan Murphy is working on a new ‘adult’ musical show for Emmy-winning actress Kristin Chenoweth (a frequent “Glee” guest), but vows the new project will be an entirely separate TV series, not a spinoff (“Shee”?) . . . In a controversial move, Summit Entertainment plans to release the 2nd installment of “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn” a full year after the first part hits screens in November 2011 (even though they’re being shot back-to-back) . . . Former professional boxer Mike Landrum has filed a $115-million lawsuit claiming he coined the nickname ‘Iron Mike’ in 1983, 2 years before former heavyweight champ Mike Tyson began using it, and he owns the trademark (which he apparently forgot for 25 years) . . . 42-year-old actress Julia Roberts tells “Elle” magazine she refuses to have facial Botox injections because she wants her kids to know when she’s ‘pissed’ (the yelling will be a clue) . . . 59-year-old Mary Hart, co-anchor of “Entertainment Tonight” for the past 28 years, has decided to quit after next season when “ET” celebrates its 30th anniversary (a long Hollywood run for a girl from Madison, South Dakota) . . . Actor Mark Wahlberg (“The Other Guys”) tells “TIME” magazine he now regrets writing his 1992 memoir, “Marky Mark”, and dedicating it to his penis (Hollywood’s most successful image makeover?) . . . And Radar Online reports that actor Mel Gibson recently flew in hypnotist Rick Collingwood all the way from Perth, Australia for a 10-day treatment program designed to help him deal with the stress of his breakup with Oksana Grigorieva (“When I snap my fingers, you will forget every phone call you’ve made in the past 6 months …”).


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – This afternoon Bon Jovi (“The Circle”).
• “Follow Me: The Search For the First MTV TJ” (MTV) – Sunday 5 finalists compete for the new ‘Twitter Jockey’ job and its 6-figure salary, a social media aficionado who will connect with the MTV audience. (Because the term ‘VJ’ is so 20 years ago.)
• “Good Morning America” (ABC): This morning John Legend, and The Roots perform as part of the ‘Summer Concert Series’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Rhymefest (“Blue Collar”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight dancers from “Step Up 3-D”.
• “Lollapalooza Festival” (Chicago) – Tonight through Sunday Lady Gaga, Green Day, and the  reunited Soundgarden are the headliners. Others among the close to 200 performers: Arcade Fire, Phoenix, and The Strokes.
• “Loving You: Collecting Elvis Presley” (Nashville) – Today a new spotlight exhibit celebrating Elvis’ 75th birth anniversary opens at the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum. The display will be on view through January 2011.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Jakob Dylan (“Women & Country”).
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Train performs live in NYC.

• Alicia Keys – Her marriage may be off to a rough start. Producer-hubby Swizz Beats allegedly owes millions in back taxes.
• Katy Perry – She again disses Lady Gaga for being scandalous in the new edition of “Rolling Stone” (out yesterday) … all the while posing on the cover in her underwear.
• Kings of Leon – They’ve revealed their new album, “Come Around Sundown”, is being released October 18th.
• Lady Antebellum – Saturday is their last date on Tim McGraw’s “Southern Voice” tour as it plays Toronto. The smoking-hot threesome will then travel overseas to headline their first London show on August 11th.
• Michael Jackson – The Holmby Hills CA mansion where he overdosed on Propofol and died is back on the market for $28 million. That’s roughly $10 million less than what it was listed for before MJ kicked the bucket.
• Stone Temple Pilots – Saturday their new run of North American tour dates gets underway in Winnipeg at the Canadian edition of “Rock On the Range”. Other bands on the bill include Buckcherry, Finger Eleven, Three Days Grace.
• U2 – Tonight their “360 World Tour”, postponed by Bono’s back surgery, finally restarts at the  Stadio Olimpico in Turin, Italy. The event is forcing local soccer team Juventus to move their match out of town to Modena.
• Wyclef Jean – He owes the Internal Revenue Service more than $2.1 million, according to 3 tax liens filed against him. Not a great way to start your campaign for President of Haiti.

• “Middle Men” ( R-Rated Crime Comedy ) – Chronicles the story of ‘Jack Harris’ (Luke Wilson), one of the pioneers of Internet commerce, who partnered with 2 enterprising troublemakers (Giovanni Ribisi, Gabriel Macht) to sell adult entertainment over the fledgling Internet in 1995. Along the way he wrestles with his morals and struggles not to drown in a sea of con men, mobsters, drug addicts, and adult film stars. Inspired by a true story.
• “The Other Guys” ( PG-13 Action Comedy ) – Will Ferrell & Mark Wahlberg play a pair of action-starved NYPD detectives who get more than they can handle when they stumble onto a big case. Dwayne Johnson & Samuel L Jackson play the hero cops that the ‘other guys’ idolize. Co-stars Damon Wayans Jr, Michael Keaton; cameos by Brooke Shields, NY Yankees’ Derek Jeter. Shot in NYC and Albany NY.
• “Step Up 3-D” ( PG-13 Musical Drama ) – The kids from the Maryland School Of the Arts head to Paris for an international dance competition. When ‘Moose’ (Adam Sevani) misses the flight home, he gets involved in that city’s underground dance scene, which is staging its own contest. Soundtrack includes Busta Rimes, Estelle, Flo Rida, Trey Songz.
• “Twelve” ( R-Rated Drama ) – In director Joel Schumacher’s gritty teenage drug drama, Chace Crawford (“Gossip Girl”) stars as a young dealer in NYC’s Upper East Side whose high-rolling life begins to fall apart after his cousin is murdered and his best friend is arrested for the crime. Co-stars Emma Roberts, Rory Culkin, and 50 Cent as a drug dealer. Narrated by Kiefer Sutherland.


The font you choose for invitations conveys info about your wedding, no matter what your text says. Here’s what guests will read between the lines …
• Sans-Serif Fonts (ie: Helvetica) – Invitations with these fonts tell guests that the wedding will be ultra-modern and hip. Your guests may also think your wedding won’t be all that fancy.
• Serif Fonts (ie: Times New Roman) – Guests will think your wedding falls somewhere between super-traditional and very contemporary. As with any non-script font, guests will assume the wedding is semi-formal or casual.
• Cursive Fonts With Loose Loops (ie: Corsiva) – These script fonts tend to be wider and freer than their tight counterparts, and a freer font equals a more relaxed reception in guests’ minds.
• Cursive Fonts With Tight Loops (ie: Edwardian Script) – This is the most formal of the bunch as well as the most traditional. Guests will envision a classic white wedding.
(Not BS recommended: Comic Sans MS, Impact, Wingdings.)
– Condensed from


Shopping expert Stacy Johnson shares his tips for saving dough at the supermarket …
• Cook from Scratch – The more prepared the food, the more it costs.
• Buy Generics – Paying more for an identical product with a brand name is not only extravagant, it’s stupid.
• Make a List – Write down exactly what you’re shopping for and ignore everything else.
• Stoop & Bend – Retailers place the most profitable items at eye level and on end-caps.
• Coupons – If you haven’t used a coupon search engine yet, do so. Internet first, then store.
• Don’t Shop Hungry – It makes you buy more.
• Shop Alone – Kids and/or spouses will try to influence you into making impulse buys.
• Weigh Prepackaged Produce – Some 10-lb bags of potatoes might be 9.5 lbs, some 10.5 lbs.
• Be a Migrant Worker – Save on fruits & veggies by picking your own at a local ‘U-Pick’ farm.
• Don’t Buy Water – Ever.

Film critic Roger Ebert and Oprah Winfrey went on a couple dates in the mid-1980s. It was Roger who convinced her to syndicate her talk show. (Eventually making her a billionaire.)


1962 [48] Michelle Yeoh (Yeoh Chu-Kheng), Ipoh, Malaysia, movie actress (“Memoirs Of a Geisha”, “Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon”)

1965 [45] Jeremy Ratchford, Kitchener ON, TV actor (‘Nick Vera’ on “Cold Case” since 2003)/movie actor (“Leatherheads”, “Unforgiven”)

1970 [40] M Night (Manoj Nelliyattu) Shyamalan, Pondicherry, India, movie director (“The Last Airbender”, “The Sixth Sense”)/screenwriter (“Stuart Little”)

1972 [38] Geri Halliwell, Watford UK, retired pop singer (Spice Girls-“Goodbye”, “Wannabe”)

1981 [29] Travie (Travis) McCoy, Geneva NY, pop singer (f/Bruno Mars-“Billionaire”)/alt-hip hop singer (Gym Class Heroes-“Clothes Off”)

1984 [26] Eric Roberts, Geneva NY, indie hip-hop bassist/vocalist (Gym Class Heroes-“Cupid’s Chokehold”)

Radio personality/author Garrison Keillor (“A Prairie Home Companion”) is 68; Rock singer Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden) is 52; TV actor David Duchovny (“Californication”) is 50; Movie actress Charlize Theron (“Monster”) is 35; Rock drummer Barry Kerch (Shinedown) is 34; NHL superstar Sydney Crosby (Pittsburgh Penguins) is 23.

Movie actor Dustin Hoffman (“Rain Man”) is 73; Rock guitarist The Edge (U2) is 49; Rock singer Scott Stapp (Creed) is 37; Country singer Mark Wills (“19 Somethin’”) is 37; Rock guitarist Tom Linton (Jimmy Eat World) is 35; Pop singer JC Chasez (*NSYNC) is 34; Top-rank tennis player Roger Federer is 29.

• “Edmonton Folk Music Festival”, the 30th annual through Sunday at Edmonton’s downtown Gallagher Park. This year’s line-up includes The Levon Helm Band, Sarah Harmer, Jakob Dylan and John Prine, among many others.
• “Fresh Breath Day”, a gentle reminder to maintain oral hygiene. If you’re average, you have over 10 billion bacteria in your mouth right now. Some of them churn out truly stinky chemicals such as hydrogen sulphide, the same gas that gives rotten eggs their odor. Some germs release putrescine, another sulfurous compound that has the essence of rotting meat.
• “Hiroshima Peace Festival” (‘Toro Nagashi‘) at Peace Memorial Park in Hiroshima, Japan, commemorating the 65th anniversary of the dropping of the 1st atomic bomb by the US bomber ‘Enola Gay’ in 1945.
• “Pamper Yourself Day”. If you were to be given any free luxury treatment you wanted, which would you pick? Massage? Steam room? Pedicure? Chocolate bath?
• “Twins Days Festival”, the world’s largest gathering of twins through Sunday in Twinsburg, Ohio. They’ll be seeing double in this town all weekend!
• “Wiggle Your Toes Day” in celebration of “Foot Health Month”. Slippers are officially OK today!

• “Garage Sale Day”, saluting a North American institution on what’s likely to be a popular day for garage/yard sales. For argument’s sake, if you put a dollar-value on all your time taken to  prepare and then clean-up after a sale … would it really be worthwhile?
• “Lighthouse Day”, an annual observance when lighthouse grounds, where feasible, are open to the public. No more lonely lighthouse keepers these days … they’re all automated.
• “National Scrabble Championship”, through August 11th in Dallas TX, as more than 400 experts from the US and Canada compete for the $10,000 first prize. (Try a little play-by-play).
• “Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day”, an annual observance to draw attention to the environmentally unfriendly over-packaging of consumer goods. Which do you think are the most over-packaged products?
• “Professional Speakers Day”, an annual salute to those who move us and inform us through the magic of their oratory talents. As orator Ben Johnson once said, “Talking and eloquence are not the same; to speak and to speak well, are two different things.”

• “Happiness Happens Day”, the 11th annual day to pay someone’s toll, bus or subway fare, or to donate to a charity. It’s all a conspiracy of the ‘Secret Society of Happy People’.
• “Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction” in Canton OH. This year’s inductees are Dick LeBeau, Emmitt Smith, Floyd Little, Jerry Rice, John Randle, Rickey Jackson, and Russ Grimm. Sunday night it’s Cincinnati Bengals vs Dallas Cowboys in the annual preseason Hall of Fame Game.
• “Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night”, a day to share the wealth of your vegetable garden with friends and neighbors. (Uh, could you make it tomatoes instead?)


2003 [07] Movie actor Arnold Schwarzenegger officially announces his (successful) bid to replace California governor Gray Davis on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC)


2004 [06] Funk legend Rick James (“Super Freak”) is found dead in his LA home by a caretaker at age 56


1994 [16] Newlyweds Michael Jackson & Lisa Marie Presley make their first public appearance together (Budapest, Hungary)


[Mon] International Day Of the World’s Indigenous People
[Mon] Rock ‘N Rev Festival begins (Sturgis SD)
[Tues] S’mores Day
[Wed] Ramadan begins (Muslim)
[Thurs] Vinyl Record Day
This Week Is … Turtles International Awareness Week
This Month Is … Home Business Month


• Gag Me With a Greasy Spoon
• Aunt Flo’s Mayonnaise-Based Picnic Salad Emporium
• Totally Pickles
• Pimple Hut
• Bucket ‘O Baboon
• Tower of Leftovers
• Soup In a Boot
• La Casa de Burning Anus
• White Trash Honeys With Breast Implants Serve You Cheap Bar Food
– Adapted from


According to “Tightwad Living” magazine, which will make your vase of fresh-cut flowers last longer?
a. A St John’s Wort tablet.
b. A multivitamin. [CORRECT. Aspirin, a teaspoon of sugar or baking soda can also be used.]
c. A jigger of vodka.


What ingredients make a horror movie truly scary? (After analysis of dozens of fright flicks, a group of researchers says key elements include escalating music, unknown information, chase scenes, and a sense of being trapped. Fewer characters also increases the shock factor. And there’s a maximum level of gore, beyond which a scary movie becomes just average.)


When I die, I’m going to leave my body to science fiction.


Today’s Question: The cleaner your house is, the more likely you are to have THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Allergies. (


Just because it pays well doesn’t mean it’s a good job.

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