Friday, August 20, 2010              Edition: #4326
Sheeters Always Prosper!


BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:

Saturday-Sunday the Barker Airport hanger in Santa Monica CA hosts an auction of over 1,000 items from the recently-wrapped TV series “Lost”, including costumes, the VW bus, and a 9-by-11-ft chunk of the crashed plane’s fuselage (it costs $42 just to get in for a look around!) . . . Lindsay Lohan will have to wait another week to hear if she will be allowed to leave rehab early; a judge will review her situation on Wednesday . . . Then she’s set to make a reported $1 million by giving “OK! Magazine” her first post-prison interview (she’ll detail just how grueling those 13 days were) . . . “Jersey Shore” star Snooki Polizzi is due back in court next month after pleading not guilty to charges of disorderly conduct, creating a nuisance, and ‘being annoying’ during that drunken beach incident last month while filming the series’ 3rd season (sounds too orchestrated not to be a set-up) . . . Aging action star Steven Seagal has obtained a restraining order against his stalker (dumb move – it’s likely his only remaining fan!) . . . Mark Wahlberg & producing partner Steve Levinson are developing a new TV drama about an California adult film company that’s struggling to compete with explicit online content (this may be the successor to “Entourage”) . . . Reality star Heidi Montag’s divorce from Spencer Pratt will be finalized on Valentine’s Day 2011 (not due to any planning, just thanks to a 6-month wait period required by law) . . . 23-year-old “Gossip Girl” star Blake Lively says one reason she became an actress was so she could get – free food (honesty, how refreshing!) . . . Late actress Brittany Murphy’s mom, Sharon Murphy, has admitted that she and Brittany’s hubby Simon Monjack shared a bed before he died and that she had prescriptions under the name ‘Sharon Monjack’ (creepy!) . . . And Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler is the first confirmed new judge on “American Idol” (FOX) according to E! Online, but is he the new Simon, Ellen, Kara, or maybe even Paula? (they’re dragging this out for months and months of free publicity).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Today Gretchen Wilson (“I Got Your Country Right Here”).
• “Global National” (Global) – Tonight is 51-year-old retiring anchor Kevin Newman’s final newscast. An on-air tribute is planned. (Best-ever anchor on Canadian TV?)
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – this morning Rihanna performs as part of the ‘Summer Concert Series’.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Joanna Newsom (“Have One on Me”).
• “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” (E!) – Sunday the season premiere (5 seasons … how?).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Mumford & Sons (“Sigh No More”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Green Day (“The Original Broadway Cast Recording: American Idiot”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Trombone Shorty (“Backatown”).
• New England Country Music Festival (Foxboro MA) – Saturday Brad Paisley headlines the 7th annual stadium event in Foxboro MA, near Boston. Also performing: Darius Rucker, Easton Corbin, Jason Aldean, and Sara Evans.
• Rock The Bells Hip-Hop Tour (Los Angeles) – Saturday this 4-date festival kicks off with a number of acts performing classic albums in their entirety, including Rakim, Slick Rick, and Wu-Tang Clan. Lauryn Hill  is rumored to among surprise guests. The tour’s other stop are Columbia MD,  Mountain View CA, and NYC.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Keith Urban performs live in NYC.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight 3Oh!3 (“Streets Of Gold”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today La Roux (“La Roux”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• Erykah Badu – She’s been sentenced to a $500 fine & 6 months probation for stripping off her clothes to shoot her infamous “Window Seat” video at the Dallas TX site where John F Kennedy was assassinated.
• George Jones – Saturday he’s inducted into the Texas Country Music Hall of Fame in Carthage TX. (You’d think he would have been in there years ago, no?)
• Lady Gaga – “Billboard” predicts that by the time the “Monster Ball” tour wraps up, it will have grossed around $200 million worldwide. (Yeah, but it’s been going for like 27 years.)
• Nelly – Saturday he performs the first-ever hip-hop show in the Missouri resort town of Branson. The venue had to be switched after local officials unanimously rejected a permit application, citing concerns about noise, parking, and crowd control. (No to mention rap music.)
• Tammy Wynette – Today a biographical exhibit opens at the Country Music Hall of Fame & Museum in Nashville. “Tammy Wynette: First Lady of Country Music” will have a 10-month run.
• Usher – He & Chris Brown appear to be mulling around the idea of a tour together. (What could possibly be in this for Usher?)

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:

• “Lottery Ticket” ( PG-13 Comedy ): Bow Wow (“The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift”) plays a young guy living in the projects who tries to survive a 3-day weekend after his opportunistic neighbors find out he’s holding a winning lottery ticket worth $370 million. Co-stars Ice Cube, Mike Epps, Bill Bellamy.
NET: http://www.lotteryticketmovie.com
• “Nanny McPhee Returns” ( PG Family Comedy ): This time around Emma Thompson’s character shows up to help a harried young mother (Maggie Gyllenhaal) with running the family farm while her husband is away at war, using her magic to teach the kids important new lessons. Why a sequel? The 2005 original made over $100 million worldwide on a budget of just $25 million.
NET: http://www.nannymcphee.co.uk
• “Piranha 3-D” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): After a sudden underwater tremor sets free scores of prehistoric man-eating fish, an unlikely group of strangers must band together to stop themselves from becoming fish food. Shot in Lake Havasu, Arizona. Stars Elizabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames. A 3-D remake of the 1979 fright flick.
NET: http://piranha-3d.com
• “The Switch” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Jennifer Aniston plays a single mother who, 7 years after giving birth, is surprised to learn that her child is not the spawn of an anonymous sperm donor but a close friend who switched it with his own batch. Co-stars Jason Bateman. Originally titled “The Turkey Baster”.
NET: http://www.theswitch-movie.com

WHAT WOMEN WANT:
According to a survey by a paper towel maker, 40% of women think a guy who does chores around the house is sexier than a fitness freak. Only 5% of women are turned on by a guy who reads poetry. (We all know what’s really impressive to a woman … a guy who can name the entire starting line-up for the Green Bay Packers!)
– UPI.com

SEXIEST MALE CELEBS:
According to this annual ranking of hottest guys, compiled from over 50,000 votes, vampires are tops in 2010 …
5. Kellan Lutz (“Twilight Saga”)
4. Xavier Samuel (“Twilight Saga”)
3. Ian Somerhalder (“The Vampire Diaries”)
2. Taylor Lautner (“Twilight Saga”)
1. Robert Pattinson (“Twilight Saga”)
Johnny Depp dropped from #2 to #6, David Beckham from #4 to #21; and George Clooney scored only #35, but that’s better than Leonardo DiCaprio and Jude Law, who didn’t even make the list.
– “Glamour Magazine”

BULLY FOR YOU:
A recent survey on the workplace finds fully a third of workers have suffered or witnessed bullying on-the-job. More than half of those cases involve bosses bullying subordinates. Bullying goes on more often among people of the same sex, with 40% of men and 33% of women suffering same-sex bullying. So what do we do about it? 40% of victims say they’ve spoken to the protagonists, while a third say they’ve discussed it with their boss or personnel department. The rest suffer in silence. (And save up for an Uzi.)
– AP

ABSOLUTE POWER CORRUPTS:
Studies of corporations and organizations find that the vast majority of rude and inappropriate behavior, such as the shouting of profanities, comes from the offices of those with the most authority. Psychologists refer to this as the ‘paradox of power’. The very traits that help leaders accumulate control in the first place all but disappear once they rise to power. Instead of being polite, honest, and outgoing, they become impulsive, reckless, and rude. (Ah, that explains the *!$#-ing boss.)
– “Wall Street Journal”

THE WORKS WORLDWIDE:

Pizza toppings vary greatly around-the-world, according to local tastes. Among the most popular are squid in Japan, tuna & corn in England, eggs in Australia, and pickled ginger in India. (Makes pepperoni sound a tad tame, doesn’t it?)
– “Food & Wine”

FOR THE RECORD:

Michael Nicholson, a 67-year-old Kalamazoo, Michigan retiree, has amassed 27 college degrees since 1963. Nicholson has gone on to earn 2 associates, 19 masters, 3 specialists, and 1 doctoral degree. He’s currently pursuing 2 masters degrees in health administration and special-education administration. (What a moron! Who needs that many college sweatshirts?)
– TheToiletPaper.com

BS AMAZING FACT:

In 1907, an ad campaign for Kellogg’s Corn Flakes offered a free box of cereal to any woman who would … wink at her grocer.
– MentalFloss.com

BS CHRONOMETER 08.20.10


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [62] Robert Plant, West Bromwich UK, rock singer (w/Allison Krauss-“Raising Sand”, The Honeydrippers-“Sea of Love”, Led Zeppelin-“Stairway to Heaven”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1995)

1956 [54] Joan Allen, Rochelle IL, movie actress (‘Jason Bourne’ films, “The Upside of Anger”)

1970 [40] Fred Durst, Gastonia NC, rock singer (Limp Bizkit-“My Way”, “Re-Arranged”)/movie director (“The Longshots”)

1974 [36] Amy Adams, Vicenza, Italy, movie actress (“Julie & Julia”, “Night At the Museum: Battle Of the Smithsonian”)

1992 [18] Demi Lovato, Dallas TX, movie actress (“Camp Rock” films)/pop singer (“Here We Go Again”)

SATURDAY –
Pop/country singer Kenny Rogers (“Lucille”) is 72; Movie/TV actress Kim Cattrall (“Sex & The City”) is 54; Rock singer Serj Tankian (System Of a Down) is 43; Billionaire technology mogul Sergey Brin (Google) is 37; Pop singer Kelis (“Milkshake”) is 31; Reality TV personality Brody Jenner (“The Hills”) is 27; Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt is 24; TV actress Hayden Panettiere (ex-“Heroes”) is 21.

SUNDAY –
Sci-fi author Ray Bradbury (“Fahrenheit 451”) is 90; TV correspondent Steve Kroft (“60 Minutes”) is 65; Classic rock singer Roland Orzabal (Tears for Fears) is 49; Rock guitarist Paul Doucette (matchbox twenty) is 38; Pop singer Howie Dorough (Backstreet Boys) is 37; Rock bassist Dean Back (Theory Of a Deadman) is 35; Rock guitarist Jeff Stinco (Simple Plan) is 32.

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Canadian National Exhibition” through September 6th, a late summer tradition in Toronto since 1879. This year’s attractions include Bedouin Soundclash, Motown backup band The Funk Brothers, rocker Kim Mitchell, ‘60s crooner Bobby Vinton, ‘70s disco queen Gloria Gaynor and – as always – the Canadian International Air Show.
NET: http://www.theex.com
• “Hug Your Boss Day”, because you weren’t already feeling tense enough around him/her.
• “Men’s Grooming Day”. What? Once a year? Were you born in a barn?
• “Virtual Worlds Day”, celebrating the alternate lives that can be lived online as avatars in computer-based environments. That includes simulated worlds such as “Second Life” and “Habbo Hotel”, as well as multi-player role-playing games, such as “World Of Warcraft”.

SATURDAY –
• “International Homeless Animals Day”, observed annually on the 3rd Saturday of August.
• “Pacific National Exhibition”, the 100th edition  in Vancouver through September 6th. This year’s entertainment includes Cyndi Lauper, Huey Lewis & The News, Joan Jett & The Blackhearts, Little River Band, Michael Bolton, Terri Clark, and Trooper.
NET: http://www.pne.ca/thefair/index.html
• “Senior Citizens Day”, the 22nd annual observance to recognize and show appreciation for the value and contribution of elders to home, family, and society.
NET: http://www.betterworldcalendar.com/seniorcitizensday-about.htm

SUNDAY –
• “Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day”, long awaited by our Southern-half friends, this is the day to go outdoors at high noon and yell ‘Hoodie-Hoo!’ to chase away Winter and make ready for Spring.
• “Tooth Fairy Day”, honoring the devious dental donor who leaves money under kids’ pillows for lost teeth. So how much moolah for a molar these days?

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

1920 [90] 1st NFL organizational meeting (Ralph Hay’s Hupmobile Agency in Canton OH)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .

2000 [10] By winning the 82nd PGA Championship, Tiger Woods becomes first golfer to win 3 majors in a year since Ben Hogan (1953)

COMING UP . . .

[Mon] Day For the Remembrance Of the Slave Trade & Its Abolition
[Tues] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon
[Tues] Waffle Day
[Wed] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Wed] Secondhand Wardrobe Day
[Wed] Edinburgh International Film Festival begins (Scotland)
[Wed] Air Guitar World Championships begin (Oulu, Finland)
This Week Is … Don’t Wait, Celebrate! Week
This Month Is … Cataract Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS


BS “STAR WARS” SCENES NOT INCLUDED IN THE BLU-RAY EDITION:
It’s been revealed a lost scene from “Return Of the Jedi” will be included in the Blu-Ray release of the sci-fi movie series. A few deleted scenes that didn’t make the cut …
• ‘Chewy’ pulls the arms off a few government officials after not receiving a medal of his own.
• ‘Han’ gets ‘Leia’ pregnant and claims “It’s not my fault!”
• Ewoks do coordinated “YMCA” routine.
• The other message recorded on ‘R2’ … a drunken phone call from ‘C3P0’ confirming he’s gay.
• ‘Jar Jar’ dialogue, as originally voiced by Gilbert Gottfried.
• ‘Jabba’/’Rancor’ falling in love montage.
• ‘Princess Leia’ refusing to pay beauty salon owner after he creates the first ‘Cinnamon Bun Hairstyle’.
– Adapted from BBSpot.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:

This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land …

UNFORTUNATE SUMMER VACATION DESTINATIONS:

• ‘Lenin World’ – Druskininkai, Lithuania. Devoted to artifacts from the period of Soviet rule.
NET: http://www.grutoparkas.lt/index-en.htm
• ‘Fantazy Land’ – Alexandria, Egypt. A purported children’s amusement park that far more resembles an urban wasteland.
NET: http://bit.ly/d1hTrR
• ‘Suffolk Sands Caravan Park’ – Felixstowe, England. An RV park located next to one of Europe’s largest container ports.
NET: http://is.gd/dhq04

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the best secondhand thing you’ve ever bought?

BS WEB GOODIE:
The ‘Hobbit House’ bar in Manila, Philippines is owned, run, and staffed by dwarfs. (No hobbits.)
NET: http://bit.ly/aDxmhW

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: In your lifetime you will spend close to $7,000 on THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Snacks from vending machines.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Cooperation is doing with a smile what you have to do anyway.


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