Monday, August 23, 2010           Edition: #4327
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

• A new trailer for the re-release of the1985 film “Back to the Future” has been unveiled online. The original film will be released in cinemas October 1st, with the entire trilogy on Blu-ray following on October 26th. The DVD release will feature 2 hours of extras, including a retrospective documentary and a discussion about the film’s physics. (Just think, without “BTTF” we wouldn’t know what a ‘flux capacitor’ is or the significance of ‘1.21 gigawatts’!)
• Katherine & Joe Jackson are reportedly calling it quits after 60 years of marriage. Katherine (80) has apparently filed for divorce after Joe (81) blamed her for son Michael’s death in an interview. Joe claims he begged his wife to stay with Michael but she insisted he needed his privacy. (As we understand it, the last straw was when Katherine caught him belt-whipping Michael’s corpse ordering it to rot better.)
• Famous person Spencer Pratt is hawking an explicit video featuring him shucking the surgically-altered corn of his soon-to-be former wife. Heidi Montag filed for divorce from her ex-“Hills” co-star last month. Nonetheless, he’s wasting no time shopping freaky footage of ‘Frankenbust’ in all her naked glory. Adult film company Vivid Entertainment confirms it’s in early negotiations on a deal. A source close to Spencer claims the tape “makes Kim Kardashian look like an amateur.” (Referring to the acting?)
• Actress Scarlett Johansson has sold the home she bought in the Hollywood Hills when she was single in 2007 and used the money to go halves-ies on a cozier house to share with actor-husband Ryan Reynolds. Johansson reportedly lost $3 million on her former $7-million manse but is pleased with their $2.8-million new house that apparently has just 2 bedrooms, 3 baths, and a pool. (Don’t worry, they’re not poverty-stricken … they also have an apartment in NYC.)
– Jam Showbiz!
• Singer/actress Demi Lovato (“Camp Rock” films) was the one giving out gifts on her 18th birthday Friday, handing her family the keys to a new Mediterranean-style home in Los Angeles. Lovato says it has “pretty much everything you could possibly imagine in it” and she plans to use the place as her base whenever she’s in California. (Ah, so mom and dad are just the caretakers.)
• Who’s the most popular Twitterer based in Los Angeles? New Twitter stats say it’s Ashton Kutcher with about 5.5 million followers, but most of his tweets are generated by a social media team working all the angles to hawk products. Ryan Seacrest is 2nd with 3.5 million followers, but he uses Twitter as marketing for his many shows. So, who then, is the top Twitterer in Hollywood who isn’t selling something? It’s actor Jim Carrey, who has an astounding 1.5 million followers even though he hasn’t twittered a posting since May 14th. And so far he’s refusing to cash in by allowing sponsors to bombard followers’ phones with junk advertising every few hours. (How refreshing!)
– QMI Agency


• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Maxwell (“BLACKsummers’night”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Big Boi (rerun show).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Daniel Merriweather (“Love & War”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Willie Nelson (“Country Music”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Big Boi (“Sir Lucious Left Foot, The Son of Chico Dusty”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Kris Allen (“Kris Allen”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Los Lobos (“Tin Can Trust”).
• “Miss Universe Pageant” (NBC) – Bret Michaels & “Today” personality Natalie Morales co-host live from Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino in Las Vegas. Performers include John Legend & The Roots, Orianthi.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Rufus Wainwright (“All Days Are Nights: Songs for Lulu”).
• “Today” – Blake Shelton (“All About Tonight”) co-hosts the final hour with Hoda Kotb.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Lee DeWyze (the most recent “American Idol” winner will release his as-yet-untitled debut record on November 16th).

• Katy Perry – She tells “Toronto Star” her new album, “Teenage Dream” (out tomorrow), is “less Betty Boop, more Betty Page.” (We say her recipe pop is more … Betty Crocker.)
• Kings Of Leon – Bassist Jared Followill tells “NME” they’ve turned down multiple licensing opportunities recently, including an offer to use their songs on “Glee”. Quote: “We could have sold out so much more. We turn stuff down constantly.” (Kudos!)
• Lady Antebellum – For only the 2nd time this year, they’ve surrendered the top spot on “Billboard” magazine’s country album chart. Blake Shelton’s new EP, “All About Tonight”, bumps Lady A’s usual chart-topper, “Need You Now”, down to #2 this week.
• Lady Gaga – ‘Circle Lenses’, popularized by her wide-eyed look in her recent video, are now in vogue in Japan, Singapore, and South Korea. The colored lenses make eyes appear larger because they cover not just the iris, but also part of the whites. Ironically, Lady G’s wider-than-life eyes in the video were most likely computer-generated.
• Paul McCartney – He treated former US president Bill Clinton to a musical surprise on his recent 64th birthday by agreeing to phone him and sing an impromptu rendition of The Beatles’ tune “When I’m Sixty-Four”. Clinton is said to be a huge fan of the ‘Fab Four’.
• Ricky Martin – The “Living La Vida Loca” singer’s memoirs, simply titled “Me”, will be out on November 2nd. The book will also be published in Spanish, with the title “Yo” (‘I’).
• U2 – Bono tells “Rolling Stone” they have 25-to-30 new songs written, potentially 4 albums-worth. Those albums might include a ‘meditative work’, a rock album, a club-sounding album, and the soundtrack to the “Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark” Broadway musical.
• Weezer – They’re teaming up with clothing maker Hurley in honor of their upcoming album, “Hurley”. A line of Weezer-inspired gear is coming September 10th. (Hmm, which came first … the clothing line idea or the album name?)


A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 80% of drivers admit they sing in the car.
• 60% of us don’t know how to properly jumpstart a car.
• 50% of adults still have a teddy bear or other plush animal from childhood.
• 30% of university frosh drop out after their first year.
• 20% of us think having sex with an ex- while dating someone new counts as cheating.
• 10% of Twitter users produce 90% of tweets.


An innovative tree-planting initiative by England’s Norfolk County Council could become the new green weapon against speeding motorists. The project encourages drivers to slow down by challenging their perception. Here are the different ways it seems to be working …
• Trees planted at decreasing distances apart on the approach to populated areas trick drivers into thinking they’re speeding, as peripheral vision registers increasingly quickly passing trees.
• Trees planted on either side of a road converging into a ‘vee’ pattern also cause drivers to slow as it gives the impression the road is narrowing even though it remains the same width.
• And, although it’s not known why, the ‘avenue effect’ of designing streets with trees running down the middle like a French-style boulevard also seems to work in slowing traffic.
The side benefit of all this tree-planting of course is that it also supports carbon reduction. (Brilliant … get a Nobel ready!)
– Condensed from “The Independent”

A research team at Heriot-Watt University in Edinburgh, Scotland has been awarded a $200,000-grant to develop a renewable source of energy using … urine. The scientists have developed a system to test it in fuel cells, as a safer alternative to flammable hydrogen or toxic methanol. It could offer a non-toxic, low-cost, easily transportable option. It’s hoped that urea, a major component in human and animal urine, can be used to power fuel cells in military vehicles such as submarines and for power generation in remote areas. (“We’re running short of fuel, captain …. quick, everyone take a leak!”)
– BBC News

According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, botulinum toxin (commonly known as Botox) has been injected into young Americans aged 13-to-19 nearly 12,000 times in the past year, including multiple doses in some cases. Doctors are injecting teens for a variety of perceived imperfections, from a too-gummy smile to a too-square jaw. The fact that teenagers would use a toxin to improve their looks surprises and upsets many adults. Parenting book author Michele Borba, for instance, says an injection is not the cure, as the deeper issue is most likely self-esteem. (Quick way to solve the problem … post a video on YouTube showing how they make the stuff.)


At a glance there is not much glamour in a coat or T-shirt that seems to have been run through a paper shredder, but the diced and torn look now represents the tatty definition of chic. All kinds of fashion wear, from coats to T-shirts to shoes, are being shredded. Observers think ripped jeans, fraying shirts, and laddered stockings may be some sort of metaphor for the disintegrating social climate. The current state of flux encourages us to disengage, shred out identities and search for new ones, they say. Sliced and razor-chopped clothes attest to much the same mood of unease as the ’70s ‘punk’ era and the ‘grunge’ fad of the late ’80s and early ‘90s. (The new fad is called ‘unemployment’.)
– “New York Times”


Brazil’s comedians and satirists have been banned from making fun of candidates ahead of the country’s presidential election coming up in October. The legal ban could last through a possible runoff vote on October 31st. Yesterday, Brazilian performers staged protests in Rio de Janeiro and other cities to fight for their right to ridicule. Dubbed the ‘anti-joking law,’ the relic of Brazil’s 1964-85 dictatorship prohibits making fun of candidates in the 3 months before elections. (Around here, we skewer them before, during and – most of all – afterward.)


If you’re a struggling actor trying to make it in Hollywood, the road to the red carpet is often paved with humiliation. Witness a sampling of actual recent casting calls …
• “Caucasian male, between 40 and 55, around 6-foot-3 and 200 pounds with a black hairy back who is willing to shave or get waxed on camera. The waxing is an option and would be done by a professional. However, the shaving is an absolute must.”
• “Male, 25-50, with a 30-inch waist, who wears a small shirt to play immigrant. Must be OK playing a dead person and having all sorts of fake blood and goo all over you.”
• “Role #1: Male, 18-50, must be overweight with MAN BOOBS to flash the camera in a ‘Girls Gone Wild’ sort of way. THIS IS SHIRTLESS. Role #2: Older guy, 35-55, all ethnicities, needed to fake barfing at a high school kids party.”
• “Male or female, 25-45, to be face of new show. Must be 100-300 pounds overweight, attractive, expressive. Emotional range a plus.”
• “Caucasian male, 30-60, to play serial killer. You will be sitting in an old car looking at a little girl, then the little girl burns you. Make-up will be applied to make you look charred.”
• “Male, 40-55, in need of a colonoscopy. Do you maybe have a history of colon cancer in your family and are looking to be screened? Are you willing to be a good sport and have one done on TV? We want to hear from you!”
– QMI Agency


• Despite the volumes of criticism about how texting is ruining written English, a new study finds that only 10% of words in a text message, on average, are not written out in full.
• The average person spends around 15 hours, 45 minutes awake each day.
– “Daily Telegraph”


1965 [45] Dean DeLeo, Newark NJ, rock guitarist (Stone Temple Pilots-“Between the Lines”, “Creep”)

1970 [40] Jay Mohr, Verona NJ, TV actor (“Gary Unmarried” 2008-10, “Ghost Whisperer” 2006-08)/movie actor (“Are We There Yet?”, “Jerry Maguire”)/TV personality (“Last Comic Standing” 2003-04, “Saturday Night Live” 1993-95)/standup comedian

1978 [32] Kobe Bryant, Philadelphia PA, basketball superstar (5-time NBA Champion-LA Lakers, 2-time NBA Finals MVP, NBA MVP (2008), 12-time NBA All-Star)

1978 [32] Julian Casablancas, NYC, rock singer/songwriter (“Phrazes For the Young”, The Strokes-“You Only Live Once”, “Juicebox”)/son of Elite Models founder John Casablancas


• “Day For the Remembrance Of the Slave Trade & Its Abolition”, designated by UNESCO in 1998 as an annual observance to memorialize the transatlantic slave trade..

• “Virgo” astrology sign begins (August 23 to September 23). Traditional traits of people born under this sign are: Modest and shy, meticulous and reliable, practical and diligent, intelligent and analytical. On the dark side, they can also be fussy and a worrier, overcritical and harsh.


2000 [10] 51 million watch the final episode of the original “Survivor” TV series (a summer replacement show) as Richard Hatch is named the $1-million winner (then promptly forgets to pay his taxes)


1960 [50] World’s largest frog (3.3 kg/7 1/4 lbs) is caught in Equatorial Guinea

1980 [30] Duration record for inverted flight of 4 hours, 9 minutes, 5 seconds set by Hal McClain over Houston TX (was this a commercial flight?)

[Tues] Full ‘Sturgeon’ Moon
[Tues] Waffle Day
[Wed] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Wed] Second-Hand Wardrobe Day
[Wed] Edinburgh International Film Festival begins (Scotland)
[Wed] Air Guitar World Championship begins (Oulu, Finland)

Be Kind To Humankind Week / Safe at Home Week


A highlight bit culled from 17 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Cats’ facial expressions.
• The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
• Why bean sprouts aren’t just weeds.
• ‘Fat clothes’.
• Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
• The difference between beige, off-white, and eggshell.
• Cutting your bangs … to make them grow.
• Eyelash curlers.
• The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
Other women.


Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes clear through.

What item of clothing might you wear on a nudist beach? (The top answers In a “Family Fortunes” poll: Sandals, watch, hat.)

Today’s Question: There are over 16,000 places to do THIS in North America.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Play golf.

Money can’t buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy.

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