Tuesday, August 28, 2007        Edition: #3601
Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

38-year-old movie actor Owen Wilson (“You, Me & Dupree”, “Wedding Crashers”) is reportedly recovering at LA’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center after what appears to be a suicide attempt, insiders saying he cut his wrists & consumed pills sometime SUNDAY (still reeling from his split with actress Kate Hudson?) . . . 38-year-old actress Renée Zellweger is playing down rumors she’s romantically involved with 65-year-old Paul McCartney after they were spotted at a Tom Petty concert in NYC (now there’s an icky mental picture!) . . . Celine Dion, Elton John & Jennifer Lopez are among those who’ve been invited to mentor wannabe singers for the next season of Simon Cowell’s British TV talent show “The X Factor” (“American Idol” over the pond) . . . Actress-turned-magician’s assistant Pamela Anderson is said to be interested in several different ventures in Las Vegas and is currently leaning towards a themed venue, possibly a casino (where the odds really would be stacked) . . . Worried friends say model Kate Moss has lost circa 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks and is barely eating (imagine that – a model not eating!) . . . Yahoo! is gearing up to launch a video-sharing portal to rival YouTube, where users will be able to create playlists and interact with others (being second-man-in may not get you kudos but it can still get you cash!) . . . No more hotel rooms on the left coast for actress Scarlett Johansson; she’s just plopped down $7 million for a pad in LA (for that price it must be an outhouse) . . . Meanwhile, real estate savvy couple Courteney Cox & David Arquette have sold their previous Malibu CA home for a whopping $33.5 million and already moved into their next goldmine (they should on “Flip This House”) . . . And the latest buzz on Lindsay Lohan’s stay in the Cirque Lodge rehab center near Sundance, Utah is that she’s refusing to do her required chores; she’s been spotted buying beer; she’s been accused by staff of doing drugs; and she’s snuck out of the facility with one male patient, and been busted having sex in a washroom with another (well, things are progressing then – no arrests yet!).

• Alicia Keys – Her acting in “The Nanny Diaries” in the role of ‘Lynette’ is drawing such good buzz she’s said to be up for a part in the upcoming movie version of “Sex & the City”.
• Barbra Streisand – Her husband James Brolin reveals she’s planning one more major movie venture once she has time to devote to the project.
• Good Charlotte – Benji Madden is about to be an uncle twice: Twin brother Joel Madden’s expected child with Nicole Richie, and via his pregnant younger sister Sarah. He’s so excited he’s already bought a highchair, stroller and crib … for his own house.
• matchbox twenty – Their double-disc greatest hits package, “Exile on Mainstream”, is out OCTOBER 2nd, featuring 6 new songs on one disc and a dozen past hits on the other.
• Panic! At the Disco – At the UK’s Reading Festival on the weekend they were greeted by a barrage of bottles tossed from the crowd … for the 2nd year in-a-row. Last year, frontman Brendon Urie got bonked; this time it was bassist Jon Walker who took one to the head.
• Spice Girls – 33-year-old Victoria Beckham is said to have a thing for Walkers Cheese, Onion & Chicken Crisps and has the British potato chips shipped to California by the box-load. That’s unbelievable … she actually eats!
• Switchfoot – The San Diego CA Christian rockers have announced they’ve parted with Columbia Records and plan to move ahead independent of the major label machinery.
• Trisha Yearwood – She recently completed the entire 60 miles of the “Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk” in Chicago IL, trekking 20 miles each day in temps hovering around 100 and with no “Georgia Rain” to cool things off.

• The Almost – The “Say This Sooner” alt-rockers are on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• “Dale” – The soundtrack of the upcoming bio-film about late NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Sr is released, featuring classic tracks by Alabama, Brooks & Dunn, Bruce Springsteen, and Travis Tritt. The movie airs SEPTEMBER 4, 5, and 6th (CMT), before being released to DVD.
• Jordin Sparks – The 17-year-old “American Idol” winner’s first single, “Tattoo”, is officially released. Her debut album is out in NOVEMBER.
• Katie Couric – Edward Klein’s unauthorized biography, “Katie: The Real Story”, is published. It alleges the perky network news anchor regularly undercut colleagues on the “Today Show” to get more air-time for herself. It also claims her co-host, Matt Lauer, threatened to quit if NBC-TV renewed her $65-million contract. Part of the reason she jumped to CBS-TV?
• Lionel Richie – This afternoon he guests on a rerun of the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Poison – The classic rockers appear on “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS).
• Sugarland – The “Everyday America” country band guests on “The View” (ABC/CTV).
• TI f/Wyclef Jean – They perform “You Know What It Is” on “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS).
• Travis Tritt – He guests on this morning’s “Today Show” (NBC).

• “Blades of Glory” ( Comedy ): Will Ferrell & Jon Heder (“Napoleon Dynamite”) play rival Olympic skaters who’ve been stripped of their gold medals and banned from men’s singles competition. But the wiseacres discover a loophole that allows them to compete … as a pairs team. Co-stars Jenna Fischer (“The Office”). Partially shot in Montréal.
• “Kickin’ It Old Skool” ( Comedy ): Jamie Kennedy stars as a 1980s-era break-dancer who cracks his head during a competition, goes into a coma, and wakes up 20 years later. Faced with a slew of ensuing problems, he attempts to jump-start his break-dancing career in order to regain a normal life … and his old girlfriend. Filmed in Vancouver & Delta BC.
• “Year of the Dog” ( Dramedy ): Molly Shannon (ex-“SNL”) plays an isolated office worker with a simple, uncomplicated lifestyle until her beloved pet beagle dies. Left to pick-up the pieces of her shattered life, she embarks on a personal journey to fill the void.
• Also released TODAY: The documentary “Air Guitar Nation”; “The Crocodile Dundee Triple Feature”; “Friday Night Lights: The 1st Season”; and “Heroes: Season 1”, a 7-disc set featuring 50 deleted scenes, interviews with the cast, and secrets of some of the show’s special effects.

The stereotype that women are addicted to shopping may actually be true as a new study has found they likely have a gene which makes them literally ‘born to shop’. University of California researchers have found that women are not only better than men at finding their way around stores but also at remembering where specific items are located. The reason for this lies in evolution, the researchers say. Over centuries, women have simply altered their innate skill of foraging for the best fruits & berries to sniffing out the best bargains. (It’s the ‘Shoe Gene’.)

Everybody suffers from bad breath at times, but the problem is often overlooked because it’s not a disease that kills people. That’s why close to 200 scientists recently showed up for the first-ever “International Conference on Breath Odor” in Chicago, hoping to highlight halitosis and seek solutions. A few highlights of their findings …
• Most bad breath originates in the mouth with about 90% of the actual smell coming from the tongue. (Soul kiss? Ah, no thanks.)
• Dry mouth, tooth decay, prescription drugs, sinus problems, and diseases like diabetes can cause bad breath. (Not to mention garlic lasagna.)
• The best weapon against bad breath is good oral care that includes regular brushing & flossing, antibacterial mouthwash, and a ‘tongue scraper’ to remove bacteria from the back of the tongue. (Try that without gagging!)
• Cinnamon is one of the most effective natural flavors for treating bad breath. (Less effective: Onion.)
• As many as 17% of us suffer from ‘halitophobia’, the fear that we suffer from bad breath when in fact we do not. (Don’t worry [co-host], you’re not one of them!)
– Reuters

According to a new ranking, here’s where you actually get less than you pay for …
5. Los Angeles CA
4. Madrid, Spain
3. Paris, France
2. Rome, Italy
1. Monaco, Monte Carlo
Most overpriced property in Canada: Vancouver (#6).
– “Forbes Magazine”

• In Britain, a teenager has found out the hard way that you can, in fact, overdose on caffeine. After downing 7 double espressos while working in her family’s sub shop, she was burning up with fever, hyperventilating, experiencing heart palpitations, and her nerves were ‘all over the place’. Doctors confirmed a caffeine overdose and kept her in ER for a few hours of observation. Not surprisingly, she can no longer stand the taste of coffee. (According to “Death by Caffiene”, she could actually have consumed 62 doubles before croaking.)
– BBC News
• In Salem MA, a self-proclaimed high priestess of witches and another practitioner have been accused of tossing raccoon parts on the doorsteps of local businesses as part of a … Wiccan community feud. The dispute is apparently over proposed regulations that would limit the number of psychics who can set up business during the upcoming Halloween season. (So why didn’t they see this coming?)
– Associated Press
• In Smyrna TN, a man who used his computer to print fake $100 bills has been was arrested and charged with counterfeiting after passing off several of the bills to … lapdancers at the Deja Vu strip club in Nashville. He’s pleaded guilty and will be sentenced in NOVEMBER. (Apparently one of the dancers became suspicious when ink started running down her left thigh.)

Less than 2% of the world’s population has naturally red hair. Some experts believe redheads could be extinct within the next 100 years.
– “Courier Mail”


1965 [42] Shania Twain (Eilleen Regina Edwards), Windsor ON (raised in Timmins & Sudbury ON), pop/country singer (“Party For Two”, “You’re Still The One”)/Officer of the Order of Canada (2005)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (2003)/CMA Entertainer of the Year (1999)

1969 [38] Jack Black, Hermosa Beach CA, movie actor (“The Holiday”, “Nacho Libre”)/sorta rock singer (Tenacious D-“POD”)

1969 [38] Jason Priestley, Vancouver BC, TV actor (“Love Monkey” 2006, “Beverly Hills 90210” 1990-98)/former Indy Racing League driver injured in 2002 crash

1982 [25] LeAnn Rimes, Jackson MS (raised Garland TX), country singer (“Something’s Gotta Give”, “How Do I Live”) who started singing at age 3 and has sold well over 20 million records

• “Burning Man”, the 21st annual celebration through September 3rd when some 20,000 gather in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, throw away their clothes or don outlandish costumes and recite poetry, build avant-garde art objects and dance all night. At the finalé, they burn a 50-foot wooden effigy of a man. Wow … good drugs!
PHONER: 415.863.5263 (Burning Man Hotline)
NET: http://www.burningman.com

• “Full Moon” of August, variously known as the ‘Corn Moon’, ‘Grain Moon’, ‘Red Moon’ or ‘Sturgeon Moon’, peaks at 6:35 am EDT. There’s also a “Total Lunar Eclipse”, most visible in the North American west at 3:37:22 am PDT. During a lunar eclipse, the Moon disappears behind the shadow of the Earth.

2003 [04] During her performance at the 20th “MTV Video Music Awards”, Madonna plants open-mouth kisses on both Britney Spears & Christina Aguilera (rumor has it Spears will perform a new song to open the 2007 “VMAs” SEPTEMBER 9th in Las Vegas)

1837 [170] 1st ‘Worcestershire Sauce’ (WOOST-a-shur) marketed by pharmacists John Lea & William Perrins in, where else?, Worcester UK

1907 [100] 19-year-old Seattle teen Jim Casey borrows $100 from a friend to start local delivery service that eventually becomes … UPS (now it’s about a hundred bucks per pickup)

1922 [85] 1st ‘Radio Commercial’ ($100 for 10 minutes on WEAF, NYC)

1996 [11] 1st MLB team to invite ball fans to ‘Bring Your Pooch to the Park’ (Chicago White Sox)

[Wed] “Balls of Fury” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Wed-Sept 8] Venice Film Festival
[Thurs] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Fri] 10th anniversary of Princess Diana’s death
[Fri] “Death Sentence”; “Halloween” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Be Kind to Humankind Week
This Month Is … Literacy Month


• Do you take ‘an eye for an eye’ before or after ‘turning the other cheek’?
• How come Pac-Man never gained any weight?
• What do bulls have against clowns anyway?
• If you always take time to stop and smell the roses, sooner or later won’t you inhale a bee?
• What was going through the mind of the first person to ever pull on a cow’s udder?
• What do you call ‘tights’ that are too big for you?
• Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
• What do bums do on Labor Day?
• How many entrees can Taco Bell make with the same 5 ingredients?
• What if we run out of hypothetical questions?

Ask a contestant to pick the correct meaning for the following terms …
• What’s a ‘Vomer’? Is it …
a. The official name for the ball used in polo.
b. The slender bone that separates the nostrils. [CORRECT]
c. A mailing envelope with a little window in it showing the recipient’s address.
• ‘Widdershins’ ….
a. Going in a counter-clockwise direction. [CORRECT]
b. Protective pads worn on the legs when playing field hockey.
c. Boards nailed over windows to protect them from hurricanes.
• ‘Haslock’
a. The clasp on a treasure chest where the padlock is installed.
b. An unruly tuft of hair atop the head, commonly called a ‘cow-lick’.
c. The wool on a sheep’s throat. [CORRECT]

Is it invasion of privacy for retail clerks to ask for your postal code and/or phone number when you’re checking out? Do you readily give yours out or make up fake info? Have you ever given out someone else’s instead?

“Doctor, doctor, I’ve got problems with my hearing.”
“What are the symptoms?”
“They’re those yellow people on TV.”

Today’s Question: About half of employees don’t have one of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Tomorrow: A dress code.

Egotism is the anesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity.

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