Thursday, August 23, 2007                      Edition: #3598
There’s a Difference Between Sheet and Crapola!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Starting with the “Emmy Awards” (SEPTEMBER 16), “The Singing Bee” host Joey Fatone is teaming with former TV actress Lisa Rinna (“Melrose Place”) to take over as red-carpet pre-show hosts for the TV Guide Network, replacing the annoying former duo, Joan & Melissa Rivers (“Who are you wearing?”) . . . British  charity Islamic Relief is planning a “Live 8”-style concert to highlight the humanitarian crisis in the Darfur region of Sudan at London’s 90,000-seat Wembley Stadium OCTOBER 21 (coinciding with the end of Ramadan) . . . Some of the world’s biggest record labels including Universal and SonyBMG have begun selling music through a new download service called ‘Gbox’, challenging Apple by charging the same price as its iTunes store (it’s linked with but not owned by Google and so far only operating in the USA) . . . NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon says he has NOT been signed as a cast member for “The Apprentice 7”, contrary to what Donald Trump recently announced (translation: they’re still negotiating) . . . “Harry Potter” author JK Rowling is NOT currently writing a detective novel as most media have reported, it was merely a ‘joke’ spread by crime writer Ian Rankin at the recent “Edinburgh International Book Festival“ (she’s actually writing a Harlequin romance) . . . As James Brown’s will listing 6 children is still being disputed in court, more-and-more of his offspring are turning up – an Aiken SC woman becoming the 3rd person not included in the will proven to be his spawn through ongoing DNA testing (there’s likely be a lot more sons & daughters of the ‘hardest humping man in show business’) . . . And the new kitty offspring of drug-addicted Brit rocker Pete Doherty’s cat ‘Dinger’ has been rescued by vets after falling ill, apparently after ingesting – cocaine (it’s a marmalade tabby with a white nose).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – Due to the rigors involved in touring, she’s been advised to postpone her upcoming SEPTEMBER American and Canadian tour dates, her rep has announced.
• Bette Midler – She’s cut down more than 230 trees around one of her properties on the island of Kauai without a permit, and the state of Hawaii is considering a stiff fine.
• Beyoncé – A viral video of a ‘wardrobe malfunction’ she suffered while performing at a launch party for her clothing line in Toronto LAST WEEK is now making the rounds on the web. The video seems to offer concrete proof … they’re real!
• Bob Dylan – In the upcoming movie “I’m Not Here” (out NOVEMBER), actors the likes of Cate Blanchett, Heath Ledger & Christian Bale will all play Bob Dylan. Not at the same time we hope.
• Eve – The rapper/actress is on the cover of the new edition of “Homo Xtra” magazine. Yes, that’s the actual name of the magazine.
• John Mayer – The 29-year-old singer& 34-year-old actress Cameron Diaz have become the talk of NYC after being spotted together several times. Seems Jessica Simpson is ‘off again’.
• Madonna – Off the top of her new track “The Beat Goes On”, she says to producer Pharrell, “Let’s give people something to think about.” Wow, Madonna goes deep.
• Mariah Carey – She’s pictured on the cover of the latest issue of “Interview” magazine laughing nervously while her naked butt sticks out from behind a beach towel. EmbarrASSed?

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Belly – The Ottawa-based rapper appears on both “MuchOnDemand” (MuchMusic) and “MTV Live” (MTV Canada) with NYC sister duo Nina Sky.
• The Cliks – The Canadian LGBT band rocks out on the “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS). The group includes 2 lesbians, 1 gay, and a transgender lead singer.
• Dierks Bentley – He plays a free street show in Nashville that caps off an after-work pub crawl promotion featuring several bars on a street near Music Row.
• Lily Allen – The no-fly list Brit singer appears on a pre-taped edition of “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Mary J Blige – She’s the musical guest on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• “Newport Harbor: The Real Orange County” – The sort-of 4th season of “Laguna Beach” debuts (MTV Canada), relocated further along the Pacific coast with a new cast of beautiful but vacuous high school teens.
• Ne-Yo – This morning he does “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Stephen Stills – The classic rocker performs on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “He’s Just Not That Into You” – Drew Barrymore is producing and starring in this comedy based on the best-selling book. The interconnecting storyline will feature an all-star cast that includes Scarlett Johansson, Jennifer Aniston, and Jennifer Connelly.
• “Marley & Me” – Jennifer Aniston & Owen Wilson are teaming up for this comedy about a couple who adopts a Labrador retriever as a test to see if they want to start a family. It’s planned for an early 2008 shoot.
• “Seventeen” – “High School Musical” star Zac Efron will star in this bigscreen comedy about a 36-year-old who wakes up one morning to find himself a high school senior again. Efron has reportedly turned down the chance to appear in a bigscreen version of the made-for-TV mega-hit “High School Musical”.
• “Slide Away” – This bio-film about late INXS singer Michael Hutchence will feature his ‘ghost’  talking to his young 11-year-old daughter, Tiger Lily, about his rock-n-roll lifestyle on the 10th anniversary of his death, which is this NOVEMBER. No casting has been announced.
• “Youth in Revolt” – 19-year-old Brampton ON-born Michael Cera (“Superbad”) will star in this teen comedy about an adolescent who meets the girl of his dreams while on a family vacation and turns his life upside down in order to be with her. The film’s due out in 2009.

SEA SICKNESS:
According to a UN report, swimming in the ocean causes more illness worldwide than diseases such as leprosy and diphtheria. The report claims that 1 in every 20 people who swim in the world’s oceans becomes ill after just one dip. Bathing in water contaminated by sewage causes some 250 million cases of gastroenteritis and upper respiratory disease each year. (The good news is – with the amount of medical waste washing up on beaches, you might find a handy cure right on-the-spot!)
– Reuters

TOP TERRIBLE TUNES:
Which song is so bad it makes you want to commit violent acts? A new poll ranks ‘em this way:
5. “YMCA” – Village People
4. “Don’t Worry Be Happy” – Bobby McFerrin
3. “All Star” – Smash Mouth
2. “My Humps” – Black Eyed Peas
1. “You’re Beautiful” – James Blunt
– “Rolling Stone“

DON’T DATE BIGFOOT:
Researchers claim people with one foot or hand bigger than the other are more likely to be jealous lovers. Scientist William Brown and colleagues at Dalhousie University in Halifax studied 50 men and women in heterosexual relationships. He compared the size of paired features such as feet, ears and fingers, then asked volunteers to fill out a questionnaire assessing romantic jealousy. He discovered that people who are less symmetrical are more likely to be jealous lovers. (That’s the last time I look for a date at the circus!)
– “New Scientist”

PROLIFIC PAPA:
The world’s oldest new dad has fathered his 21st child at the age of 90. Nanu Ram Jogi, a farmer in India, now has a total of 12 sons & 9 daughters via 4 wives and says he wants to have children until age 100 and then maybe it will be time to stop. (Party like a centenarian!)
– “The Times of London”

HE SAID IT:
• “I’d have the same child by a different woman.”
– 50 Cent, talking about his fatherhood regrets.
• “I can be a little more complex than where we’re at creatively right now. So I gotta bring things down a little bit so it’s acceptable to the public.”
– 50 Cent, claiming he has to dumb things down in order for us mere mortals can understand his extreme complexity.

BS CHRONOMETER 08.23.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1970 [37] Jay Mohr, Verona NJ, TV actor (‘Professor Rick Payne‘ on “Ghost Whisperer” since 2006)/movie actor (“Jerry Maguire”)/TV personality (“Last Comic Standing” 2003-04, “Saturday Night Live” 1993-95)/standup comedian

1978 [29] Kobe Bryant, Philadelphia PA, 9-time NBA all-star (3 NBA championships-LA Lakers)

1978 [29] Julian Casablancas, NYC, rock singer/songwriter (The Strokes-“You Only Live Once”, “Juicebox”)/son of Elite Models founder John Casablancas

TODAY’S BS REASON TO PARTY . . .
• “Great American Duck Race”, the 28th annual staging of the ‘world’s richest duck race’ through Sunday in Deming NM. No little rubber duckies here, these are real live quackers competing for prize money.
PHONER: 888.345.1125
NET: http://www.demingduckrace.com/

• “International Beatles Week 2007”, the annual celebration of the local-lads-made-good in Liverpool, England through August 28th. This year’s bash celebrates 40 years of “Sgt Pepper”; 50 years of Paul meeting John; 50 years of The Cavern Club; and 800 years of Liverpool.
PHONER: 01.44.151.236-9091 (Cavern City Tours) 
NET: http://www.cavern-liverpool.co.uk/beatleweek/

• “Montréal World Film Festival 2007”, the 31st annual through September 3rd. It includes movies from more than 70 countries under the categories of ‘World Competition’, ‘First Films World Competition’, ‘Documentaries of the World’, and the ‘Canadian Student Film Festival’, screened  at various venues in Montréal, including the outdoor ‘Cinema Under the Stars’.
PHONER: 514.848.3883
NET: http://www.ffm-montreal.org/en_index.html

• “Palm Springs International Festival of Short Films”, the 13th edition of America’s largest short film festival, showcasing over 350 short films from around-the-world through August 29th in Palm Springs CA. “Room 10“, directed by Jennifer Aniston and “Orchids“ by Bryce Dallas Howard (‘Gwen’ in “Spider-Man 3”) are among them.
PHONER: 800.898.7256
NET: http://www.psfilmfest.org

• “Virgo” astrology sign begins (August 23 to September 23). Traditional traits of people born under this sign are: modest and shy, meticulous and reliable, practical and diligent, intelligent and analytical. On the dark side, they can also be fussy and a worrier, overcritical and harsh, perfectionist and conservative … not that’s there’s anything wrong with being a conservative.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2000 [07] 51 million tune in to watch the final episode of the original “Survivor” series (a summer replacement show) as Richard Hatch is named the $1-million winner (then promptly forgets to pay his taxes)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1969 [38] “A Boy Named Sue”, recorded at Folsom Prison by Johnny Cash, peaks at #1 on country charts and #2 on pop singles charts

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1882 [125] ‘Pile of Bones’ SK becomes ‘Regina’

1904 [103] 1st ‘Snow Tire Chains’ (Harry Weed of Canastota NY is issued a patent for his ‘Grip-Tread for Pneumatic Tires’)

1617 [390] 1st ‘One-Way Street’ (London UK)

1961 [46] 1st ‘Athletic Mouth Guard’ as LL Greenblum patents his ‘Teeth Protector’

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1992 [15] ‘Fewest Hits in a Baseball Game’ as the pitchers for the Clearwater Phillies and Winter Haven Red Sox of the Florida State League BOTH hurl no-hitters (a record that can’t be bettered)

1998 [09] San Francisco Giant Barry Bonds becomes 1st Major League Baseball player to hit 400 home runs and steal 400 bases (after 400 hits of anabolic steroid)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] Waffle Day
[Fri] “Illegal Tender”; “Mr Bean’s Holiday”; “The Nanny Diaries”; “Resurrecting the Champ”;  and “War” open in movie theaters
[Sat] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Sun] Single Parent Family Day
[Sun] 2007 Teen Choice Awards (Los Angeles)
[Mon] Petroleum Day
This Week Is … Be Kind To Humankind Week
This Month Is … Children’s Eye Health & Safety Month

BULL’S BITS

THIS MONTH is “International Inventors Month”, a good excuse to review the …
WORST-EVER BS INVENTIONS:
• Heat n’ Eat Popsicles
• The See-Through Mirror
• Roll-on Hairspray
• The Revolving Basement Restaurant
• The Moped Exercycle
• The Braille Speedometer

WOULD YOU RATHER?
You run down the list while your guest or phone caller decides which choice is more palatable. Would you rather …
• Have 5 bottles stuck on the fingers of one hand for a year OR a bucket stuck on your foot for a year?
• Find out your significant other has a huge crush on your best friend OR have them absolutely hate each other?
• As a woman, have quadruplets OR have 4 babies, all 10 months apart?
• As a man, sing naked for a living OR dance in a G-string for a living?
• Share the entire interior of your home with a 1,500-lb dairy cow OR with 2 free roaming seagulls?
• Be forced to take one hit of LSD OR be injected with a strain of 35-day flu?
• Be tone deaf OR color blind?
• Lose your wallet OR all your keys?
• Be known for your intelligence OR be known for your courage?
• Have the ugliest person at work (school) turn you down for a date OR have the best looking person say yes, but then stand you up?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

BS WEB GOODIE:
eMailMiser provides you with a one-time email address. Say you’re online, at a party, or talking to a sales rep and you get asked for your email. You know if you give it out, you’re gambling with your privacy. On the other hand, you do want to get at least one message from that person. So you give out an eMailMiser address. You don’t need to sign-up; you just make it up on-the-spot. Pick bullcrap@emailmiser.com or WTF123@emailmiser.com … basically anything you want. Later, you just go the site and check for your one-time mail under that name. Cool idea, eh?
NET: http://www.emailmiser.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could ‘unknow’ one thing you know, what would it be?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Studies show those who succeed in business have more of THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Testosterone.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
All generalizations are false … including this one.


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