Tuesday, August 21, 2007        Edition: #3596
The Sheet Hits the Fans!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
With a wobbly $6-million opening weekend, Nicole Kidman’s new sci-fi stinker, ”The Invasion”, may have trouble even recouping her salary – a reported $17 million . . . “Tontine”, an upcoming reality show that promises a $10-million grand prize (purportedly from the combined life savings of all contestants) is off to a rocky start, with host (and perpetual reality show personality) Rob Mariano punching a potential contestant at the San Diego CA auditions in the head – twice (maybe he thought it was the return of “Celebrity Boxing”?) . . . Former “American Idol” champ Ruben Studdard is getting into the nightclub biz, opening a hotspot tentatively called ‘Ruben’s Club 205′ in his hometown of Birmingham AL . . . Victoria Beckham will offer her fashion ideas in the upcoming book, “That Extra Half An Inch: Hair, Heels & Everything in Between”, to be published in NOVEMBER . . . When she travels, model TV host Heidi Klum (“Project Runway”) carries her baby teeth with her in a pouch – as a good luck charm (“Yuck, this gum you gave me is crunchy!”) . . . Actress turned self-confessed ‘strict mom’ Brooke Shields says the legal troubles of stars like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Nicole Richie can be directly blamed on poor parenting (hear hear!) . . . Paris Hilton may have been fired from her previous fake-reality show, “The Simple Life”, but she’s said to be set to sign up for the UK’s upcoming “Celebrity Big Brother”, receiving close to $600,000 to appear . . . And for his upcoming celebrity edition of “The Apprentice”, Donald Trump says he’d like to bring in the troublesome trio of Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paris Hilton (Hilton has already agreed to go, but then, doesn’t she always?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bob Dylan – A career-spanning, 3-CD retrospective titled “Dylan” will be released worldwide OCTOBER 1st, chronicling his 4 decades of groundbreaking songwriting and recording.
• Brooks & Dunn – Kix Brooks has officially opened Arrington Vineyards, a winery he co-owns south of Nashville TN … not exactly noted as wine country.
• Emerson Drive – All 6 members are sporting new tattoos commemorating their #1 country single “Moments”. They had the work done during a taping of the new show “LA Ink” (TLC) for an episode scheduled to air in SEPTEMBER.
• Kanye West – He’s ditched the idea of multiple costume changes at the “MTV Video Music Awards” (SEPTEMBER 9) and now plans to wear the same outfit and ‘stink like a rock star’.
• KT Tunstall – The Scottish singer says she was forced to have her teeth filed down as a 5-year-old because she grew ‘dangerous fangs’ that inflicted pain on her brother.
• Lily Allen – She’s been forced to postpone a tour set to launch SEPTEMBER 6 in San Diego CA and cancel her appearance on the “MTV Video Music Awards” due to ongoing work visa problems preventing her from entering the US. Earlier THIS MONTH, US Customs & Immigration detained her for 5 hours at LAX, locked her in a cell, strip-searched and questioned her over her arrest in MARCH for an alleged assault on a photographer in London. Her O-1 working visa was later seized.
• Maroon 5 – Russian magazine “Exile” quotes frontman Adam Levine as saying he ditched Russian tennis hottie Maria Sharapova after a brief fling 2 years ago because in the sack ‘she just laid there like a dead frog’.

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CTV) – The 2-hour results show will reveal who wins the million-dollar grand prize.
• “Canadian Idol” – Kelly Clarkson performs as part of ‘My Own Idol’ week.
• “Halloween” – The soundtrack of Rob Zombie’s remake of the classic horror film is released, featuring tracks from Alice Cooper, Blue Oyster Cult, BTO, Iggy Pop, KISS, Nazareth, Peter Frampton, Rush, and others. The film opens AUGUST 31st.
• Joss Stone – The Brit soul singer does “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Omarion – He’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CityTV).
• Toby Keith – This morning he visits “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV).
• Travis Tritt – He releases his new album, “The Storm”, co-produced by “American Idol” judge Randy Jackson.

TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “Broken English” ( Romantic Comedy ): Parker Posey plays a 30-something New Yorker who plugs away at her job while coveting the perfect marriage of her friend (Drea de Matteo). Then she meets a quirky Frenchman who opens her eyes to a lot more than love.
• “Perfect Stranger” ( Crime Drama ): Halle Berry stars as an undercover reporter who creates several online aliases in an attempt to solve the bizarre murder of a friend by lulling the killer out of hiding. Her snooping leads her straight to the CEO of a major ad agency (Bruce Willis).
• Also released TODAY: “Dog Whisperer with Cesar Millan: The Complete 2nd Season”; “House: Season 3”; “JAG: Seasons 1-4”; “South Park: The Complete 10th Season”; “SXSW Live 2007”, the first-ever DVD release of the influential Austin TX festival; and “Ugly Betty: The Complete 1st Season – Bettyfied Edition”.

TV RE-RUNS:
Sony Corp has announced plans to launch a massive recycling program in which consumers will be able to drop off old Sony TV sets and other electronics items without charge. The company plans to initially set up some 175 recycling centers across the US. It hopes to see all of its electronics products returned at the end of their useful lives and will also accept outdated products from other electronics manufacturers for an as-yet-undecided fee.
– “Broadcasting & Cable”

HOW TO WIN AN OSCAR:
Psychology professor Dean Simonton at the University of California at Davis has analyzed the data on thousands of movies and uncovered the ingredients of a critical hit. He’s discovered that films earning acclaim and awards tend to be …
• R-rated.
• Based on a true story or prize-winning play or novel.
• Written by a screenwriter who is either the original author or the director.
Movies that don’t do well at winning awards are usually …
• Big-budget blockbusters.
• Summer releases.
• PG-13 rated.
• Movies that have huge opening weekends.
– CBC Arts

SOCIAL STUDIES:
A BS review of recent revelations about human behavior …
• Los Angeles-based psychologist Dr Robert R Butterworth says we take pleasure in hearing about celebrity screw-ups because subconsciously we want them to make mistakes just like we do. That way, they seem more human and not so special.
• A 30-year study of some 2,000 men by researchers at Chicago’s Northwestern University finds that guys who bottle up their emotions are 50% more likely to die from a heart attack or stroke.
• When it comes to comfort food, women prefer sugary items such as candy and chocolates, while men favor pizza, pasta, or steak says a Cornell University psychology study. Women also tend to feel guiltier than men about their comfort food choices.
• According to University of British Columbia research, discrimination against overweight people may be a subconscious behavior. Researchers say our immune system is triggered into action at the sight of obesity because it associates it with infection and disease.

BS INTERNATIONAL MOOS:
• Authorities in Leeds, England are using ‘beer goggles’ that mimic the effects of alcohol to educate young people about the dangers of drunk driving. The goggles distort vision to approximate a sensation of inebriation. (Unfortunately, unlike booze-induced ‘beer goggles’, they don’t turn the hideous into hotties.)
– “Daily Mail“
• Emirates Airlines has lost a suitcase containing the ashes of a New Zealand man’s mother during a stopover in Dubai. An Emirates spokesman has offered apologies and says the airline is doing its best to trace the ashes, but after 2 weeks it’s come up with nada. (Have you tried the butt-out container next to the entrance?)
– “Dominion Post“
•  A pet camel may have accidentally killed its Australian owner while displaying mating behavior. The unidentified woman died after the 10-month-old, 330-lb male knocked her down and then rested on top of her. It’s unclear what will happen to the camel, which was a 60th-birthday gift for the woman. (Will that be one hump or two?)
– “New York Post”

DID YOU KNOW?
• The odds of successfully quitting smoking for at least 6 months are about 2.5 times higher for spontaneous, unplanned attempts than for planned ones.
– “British Medical Journal”
• E-mail has taken over from the telephone as the main method of communication in business. A worldwide research report by Dimension Data finds that the speed of e-mail, coupled with its ability to interact without lengthy conversation, have made it the preferred method of communication. (Especially for spammers selling pharmaceuticals.)
– “Daily Telegraph“

BS CHRONOMETER 08.21.07

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1938 [69] Kenny Rogers, Houston TX, classic country singer (“Lucille”, “Coward of the County”)/Diamond Award for sales of more than 10 million copies of his “Greatest Hits” album/former TV-movie actor (“The Gambler I-VI”)/plastic surgery victim

1956 [51] Kim Cattrall, Liverpool UK [raised Vancouver Island], former TV actress (‘Samantha Jones’ on “Sex & The City” 1998-2004)  COMING UP: The “Sex & the City” movie, due in 2008.

1967 [40] Serj Tankian, Beirut, Lebanon, rock singer (System Of A Down-“Hypnotize”, “Aerials”)

1967 [40] Carrie-Anne Moss, Burnaby BC, movie actress (“Disturbia“, “The Matrix” trilogy)

1979 [28] Kelis (Rogers-Jones), Harlem NY, pop singer (“Lil’ Star”, “Milkshake”)

1987 [20] Cody Kasch, Camarillo CA, TV actor (‘Zach Young’ on “Desperate Housewives” since 2004)

1989 [18] Hayden Panettiere, Palisades NY, TV actress (‘Claire Bennet” on “Heroes” since 2006)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Forgiveness Day”, a day to forgive spouses, children, family, friends, neighbors & enemies, even if you don’t tell them. It’s also a day to forgive … yourself.

• “Spumoni Day”, honoring the pistachio ice cream filled with dried fruits and nuts. The original Italian Spumoni is a molded dessert made by layering 2 or 3 different flavors of ice cream with a layer of sweetened whipped cream which has nuts and candied fruit folded in. Yummers!

• “Statehood Day” in Hawaii, celebrating the anniversary of it becoming the 50th state to join the USA on August 21, 1959. Two things Hawaii doesn’t have – snakes and billboards.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2005 [02] The Rolling Stones kick off “A Bigger Bang” world tour in Boston MA (2 years later, after pauses for a concussion and alcohol rehab, they’re still going!)

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1841 [166] 1st ‘Venetian Blinds’ (later that night, the 1st ‘peeping Tom’)

1933 [74] 1st Major League Baseball ‘All-Star Game’ (Babe Ruth’s HR leads AL to 4-2 win)

1973 [34] 1st house made totally of recycled material (Richmond VA)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1986 [21] Colin Watson & Andre Douglas set the ‘World Hairdressing Record’ in Northcliff, South Africa by cutting, setting and styling hair continuously for 408 hours … 17 days!

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Tooth Fairy Day
[Thurs-Sept 3] Montréal World Film Festival 2007
[Fri] “Illegal Tender”; “Mr Bean’s Holiday”; “The Nanny Diaries”; “Resurrecting the Champ”; and “War” open in theaters
[Sat] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Sun] Make Your Own Luck Day
[Sun] Women’s Equality Day
[Sun] Single Parent Family Day
This Week Is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Cataract Awareness Month

BULL’S BITS

WORST ONSCREEN CHEMISTRY:
According to a new survey of 3,000 movie fans, these are the onscreen couples that caused the fewest fireworks …
5. Catherine Zeta Jones & Sean Connery in “Entrapment” (1999)
4. Madonna & Adriano Giannini in “Swept Away” (2002)
3. Keira Knightley & Orlando Bloom in “Pirates of the Caribbean” (2003/‘06/‘07)
2. Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez in “Gigli” (2003)
1. Natalie Portman & Hayden Christensen in “Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones” (2002)
– Pearl & Dean poll

BS PHONE STARTER:
If you could communicate with any type of animal, which animal would you chose?

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• When it comes to buying baby toys, women are more likely than men to choose those that are …
a. More brightly colored.
b. Rounder & plumper. [CORRECT. It’s thought the baby shapes appeal to women because just the sight of them causes hormones to be released.]
c. More expensive.
– “Psychology Today”

• According to a new Leger Marketing poll, how many pairs of black shoes do 40% of women own?
a. 1 or 2.
b. 3 or 4.
c. 5 or more. [CORRECT.]
– CanWest News Service

• The ‘Ashera’ is the rarest and most expensive of these. What?
a. Cat breeds. [CORRECT. The African Serval-Asian Leopard-domestic cat cross sells for circa $22,000.]
b. Sports cars.
c. Cigars.
– LifestylePets.com

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If we weren’t meant to juggle, tennis balls wouldn’t come 3 to a can.

BS WEB GOODIE:
Trying to impress that hottie at the bar? Now you can hand out your phone number scribbled on the back of a personalized ATM receipt that’s faked to show you have several-hundred-grand stashed in your bank account. $5 will get you a 1-month supply; a 1-year package is $15. They’re said to be “a player’s dream come true”.
NET: http://www.customreceipts.com/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: THIS happens more to men than women on the left side of the body.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Skin cancer caused by exposure to Sun while driving.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
You can become rich, achieve high social standing, hold multiple degrees, and still be an idiot.


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