Thursday, August 1, 2013        Edition: #5037

If the Sheet Fits, Buy It!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
✶ Around 50 armed police officers are being recruited to provide Prince William & Duchess Catherine’s new baby George with 24-hour security at Queen Elizabeth’s 20,000-acre Sandringham Estate in Norfolk, east England, which is expected to be the couple’s country home. The new armed recruits will also carry out other duties around the property as well as guarding the prince, who has been affectionately nicknamed ‘Georgie’ by the royal family.
– TheSun.co.uk
✶ 27-year-old actress Lindsay Lohan has been staying with a ‘sober coach’ in Los Angeles since being released from her 3-month court-ordered rehab on Tuesday. The actress was spotted sporting a huge smile as she climbed into a vehicle to depart the Cliffside Malibu facility. Though one source suggested she’ll next fly off to Europe on vacation, others say she’s heading straight back to work on Monday when she hosts an episode of late night talk show “Chelsea Lately”, subbing for Chelsea Handler.
– TMZ.com
✶ So it’s come to this, huh? Ryan Gosling tops a new poll of actors female fans would most like to see … naked in a sex-tape. Gosling garnered 21.6% of votes in the XCritic/Vivid Entertainment survey, ahead of Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum, Matthew McConaughey, and Johnny Depp. And the poll also asked which celeb couple would make the best XXX video. The top 5: Justin Timberlake & Jessica Biel, Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux, Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie, Prince William & Kate Middleton, and Ellen Degeneres & Portia de Rossi.
– WENN.com
✶ 62-year-old Robin Williams is returning to series TV for the first time since the vintage sitcom “Mork & Mindy” (1978-82). He’ll star in the new CBS-TV comedy “The Crazy Ones” this Fall as an eccentric ad man who runs an agency with his daughter, played by Sarah Michelle Gellar. The show is from “Ally McBeal” creator David E Kelley. After following the script during shooting, Williams will apparently be given extra takes in which he’s free to ad lib and improvise. Oh oh.
– BBC Entertainment
✶ And a new cookbook based on a gangsta vegan blog whose recipes are littered with F-bombs is coming in Fall 2014. Since launching last August, the anonymously written “Thug Kitchen” blog has gained a cult-like following due to its tough-talking, gratuitous use of expletives amongst its tasty vegan recipes. With over 340,000 Facebook fans and more than 35,000 Twitter followers, it was named ‘Best New Blog’ in “Saveur” magazine’s Best Food Blog Awards this year. It’s even been given a shout-out from actress/foodie Gwyneth Paltrow.
NET: http://thugkitchen.com
– RelaxNews.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• Honda Civic Tour (St Louis MO) – Tonight Maroon 5 headlines, with special guest Kelly Clarkson as the annual trek kicks off and wends it’s way around North America through early October. Additional supporting acts will be included on select dates.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Palma Violets (“180”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – White Arrows (“Dry Land Is Not a Myth”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Goodie Mob (“Age Against the Machine”, out August 27th); Lenny Kravitz (“Black & White America”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Passenger (“All the Little Lights”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Sammy Hagar (“Red: My Uncensored Life in Rock”).
• “The Winner Is …” (NBC) – 6 more acts perform for a panel of music experts.
• “Young Hollywood Awards 2013” (CW) – Aisha Tyler (“Whose Line Is It Anyway?”) hosts the 14th annual salute to the achievements of rising stars in the entertainment biz. Among the honorees: Selena Gomez receives the ‘Fan Favorite Album Award’ and ‘Most Anticipated Tour Award’.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Jo Dee Messina – After giving fans the opportunity to become backers of her new album through Kickstarter and letting them choose songs for the upcoming project, she’s now letting them pick her next single.
• Justin Bieber – Officials in Germany have ordered the Biebs to settle an unpaid bill for expenses incurred caring for his infamously abandoned pet monkey or face a fine if he ever returns to the country.
• Nicki Minaj – She’s laughed off DJ Khaled’s recent marriage proposal on “MTV News”. Khaled pulled out a huge diamond ring and professed his love for her. She says the entire incident was just a publicity stunt for his new single “I Wanna Be With You”, on which she is featured.
• One Direction – 19-year-old Harry Styles has purchased a plush Paris penthouse with a stunning view of the Seine. His real estate portfolio already reportedly included a north London property and a mansion in Los Feliz, California. Harry’s dad Des manages all his investments.
• Queen – Brian May & Roger Taylor are planning to release 3 tracks recorded during a 6-hour session at Michael Jackson’s home studio in Encino, California in 1983. The duets, featuring Jackson and late Queen frontman Freddie Mercury, are expected to be out this Fall.
• Queens Of the Stone Age – Tonight they play an intimate Lollapalooza pre-party at Chicago nightclub Metro. QOTSA is also releasing their new album “… Like Clockwork” as a special edition USB flashdrive that doubles as … a bottle opener.
• Rascal Flatts / Journey – Tonight they co-headline a one-night-only concert at Hersheypark Stadium in Hershey, Pennsylvania. They first performed together on the “CMT Music Awards”, then again on “CMT Crossroads”. The Band Perry and Cassadee Pope are special guests.
• The Wanted – 24-year-old Tom Parker is facing a fine in Colorado after allegedly defecating in a plastic bag and … throwing it out his tour bus window. The Class 2 Petty Offence for ‘littering’ carries a penalty of up to $500.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “In the Company of Lies” – This indie thriller centers on a female doctor whose world is turned upside down when she drops everything and travels to Russia to uncover a shocking truth about her husband. Producers are just starting to meet with actors to cast the project, with the aim of commencing production by the end of the year.
• “Interstellar” – Director Christopher Nolan’s (“The Dark Knight Rises”) futuristic sci-fi movie follows a team of explorers who travel through a wormhole into another dimension. The extensive cast includes some top names: Anne Hathaway, Jessica Chastain, John Lithgow, Matthew McConaughey, Michael Caine, and Topher Grace. The film’s due in November 2014.
• “The Kitchen Sink” – Vanessa Hugdens is in early talks to join the cast of this zombie comedy. The flick follows a group of teenagers who form an unlikely alliance with vampires and zombies to take on an army of aliens. Hudgens would play a popular teen who faces conflict when the extraterrestrials invade her small town. The film opens pre-Halloween next year.
• “Pest” – This upcoming horror film follows a teen who documents her family’s life in quarantine after a deadly virus invades her hometown. She thinks she’s safe from the virus that killed off much of the human population, but then discovers that her own sister is infected. Casting for the film is yet to be announced.

BREASTFEEDING BOOSTS BABY BRAINS:
Continuing to breastfeed babies from age 6-months to 1 year is associated with better language skills at age 3 and higher IQ at age 7, according to a newly-published Harvard study. The gist of the research: The longer moms breastfeed, the smarter their kids become. Breast-fed babies are also more socially connected and less anxious as adults, the study finds. (Shakira recently said she wants to breastfeed her son … ‘until he goes to college’.)
– NYDailyNews.com

ODDS ARE …
• The odds are more likely that you will spot a UFO than win a lottery jackpot.
• The odds are 9-in-10 that you will gain back all the weight you lost after a diet.
• The odds are 3-in-4 that you will be mentioned in the media at least once in your life.
• The odds are 1-in-117 that the pilot of the plane you are flying in is drunk.
• The odds are 1-in-4 that your spouse will be unfaithful to you.
– “What Are The Chances?”

MAKING MOLARS:
Scientists hope the regenerative properties of stem cells will one day enable them to grow new teeth in humans. With stem cells derived from the byproducts of urine, Chinese researchers have recently been able to grow hard, teethlike structures in mice. But don’t expect to pee your way to a new set of dentures anytime soon. The research is experimental and experts caution that the efficiency of turning cells from urine into stem cells is very low. (That’s a relief, actually.)
– BBC.co.uk

BOGUS BURGER:
The world’s first ‘test-tube burger’ is set to be served up in London this week. The 5-ounce patty is made from meat grown in a laboratory. But don’t expect to be mowing down on something similar anytime soon: The burger cost more than $380,000 to make, composed of 3,000 tiny strips of meat grown from the stem cells of a single cow. But the idea may become a valid environmental alternative if it can be refined. Right now, we use 70% of all our agricultural capacity to grow meat through livestock. (‘Quick Steak’. Just add water. Can’t wait!)
– “The Independent”

TABLETOP TOP-UP:
Starting this weekend, charging a smartphone or tablet at select Starbucks in California’s Silcon Valley will be as simple as setting them down on a table. The coffee chain began testing integrated wireless charging technology in its Boston stores earlier this year. There’s no need for cables or power sockets as simply laying a device on or near a tabletop charging pad is enough to regenerate power. McDonald’s is currently conducting its own wireless charging tests in Europe. It’s thought the technology could someday be a replacement for traditional power outlets in homes. (Yeah, that sounds safe. Billy spilled his milk … ZAP!!!!)
– RelaxNews.com

THIS WINE STINKS:
Known as the world’s stinkiest fruit, the ‘durian’ has been turned into wine by researchers at the National University of Singapore, who hope to commercialize the product. The fruit is so stinky, it’s banned from public transportation. It’s been described as akin to eating custard in a sewer or a blend of turpentine & onions garnished with a gym sock. TV food & travel host Anthony Bourdain says it makes your breath smell like you’ve been French-kissing your dead grandmother. So how’s a wine made from the stuff likely to taste? While the winemaking process removes most of the pungency, it’s said you’ll either love the stuff or hate it. (Maybe they can market it as a ‘payback gift’?)
– Agence France-Presse

DID YOU KNOW?
French president Francois Hollande’s nickname is ‘Flanby’, in reference to a wobbly caramel pudding. (As in: “The French government will be extremely tough on illegal strikes … says Flanby.”)
– “Daily Telegraph”

BS CHRONOMETER 08.01.13


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [54] Joe Elliott, Sheffield UK, classic rock singer (Def Leppard-“Promises”, “Love Bites”)

1960 [53] Chuck D (Carlton Ridenhour), Roosevelt NY, trendsetting rapper (Public Enemy-“Shut ‘Em Down”, “Fight the Power”)

1964 [49] Adam Duritz, Baltimore MD, alt-rock singer-songwriter (Counting Crows-“Accidentally in Love”, “Big Yellow Taxi”)

1965 [48] Sam Mendes, Reading UK, movie producer-director (“Skyfall”, Oscar-“American Beauty”)/wed to actress Kate Winslet (2003-10)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “August”, originally the 6th month of the Roman year which was called Sextilis. In the year 8 BC, Emperor Augustus Caesar persuaded the Senate to change the month’s name to ‘Augustus’ in his honor. If it weren’t for him, today would be the 1st of Sextilis!

• “Girlfriends Day”, either some girl’s greedy grab at gifts from her guy, or perhaps a day for ‘the girls’ to hang out and share woman-to-woman time?

• “Respect for Parents Day”. So what’s the best way to gain respect … setting an example or creating fear?

• “Rockhound Gemboree”, the 50th edition of Canada’s largest gem & mineral show, in Bancroft, Ontario through Sunday. Thousands of collectors from around-the-world are expected. It’s a rock festival!
NET: http://www.bancroftontario.com/index.cfm?vNavID=2&vSubNavID=52

• “Rounds Resounding Day”, a day to sing rounds. Altogether now, “Row, row, row …”

• “World Wide Web Day”, marking the birth of the Web in August 1990 at the Europe Laboratory for Particle Physics in Switzerland. Tim Berners-Lee & Robert Cailliau developed a prototype Web browser and introduced Hypertext Markup Language (HTML).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1962 [51] The superhero ‘Spider-Man’ debuts in issue #15 of “Amazing Fantasy” comics

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1994 [19] Michael Jackson & Lisa Marie Presley confirm their marriage in Dominican Republic 11 weeks earlier

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1933 [80] ‘Skippy Peanut Butter’ is 1st marketed (go ahead, eat a spoonful and try to whistle)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1998 [15] Scott Gehrke & Lorrie Kilgore wed above Perris, California in a 55-second ceremony as they and a presiding minister parachute from 13,000 feet (they truly fell for each other)

COMING UP . . .
[Fri] “Sharknado”, “2 Guns” open in movie theaters
[Fri] International Beer Day
[Fri] Lollapalooza begins (Chicago)
[Sat] International Tree Climbing Day
[Sun] “The Bachelorette” finalé (ABC)
[Mon] Civic Holiday (Canada)
This Week Is … World Breastfeeding Week
This Month Is … Get Ready for Kindergarten Month

BULL’S BITS


TABLE NAMES AT WEDDINGS IF WE WERE TRUTHFUL:
• ‘People We Didn’t Think Would Come’
• ‘People We Invited Solely Because They Invited Us to Their Weddings’
• ‘Relatives We Haven’t Seen in 20 Years’
• ‘Wealthy People’
• ‘Sorry, but You Are …?’
– Thanks to Harris Bloom

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Sometimes you’re the bird, sometimes you’re the windshield.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• Which language contains the most words?
a. Mandarin Chinese.
b. English. [CORRECT, with approximately 455,000 active words and 700,000 ‘dead words’.]
c. Pig Latin.

• What does the word ‘Viking’ mean?
a. ‘Piracy’ [CORRECT, it’s a Norse word.]
b. ‘Wanderer’
c. ‘Well-endowed’
– “Totally Trivial”

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to Japanese researchers, THIS can improve your mood and help you focus.
Answer: Chewing gum.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Any horizontal surface is soon piled up.


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