Monday, August 10, 2015        Edition: #5512

Get Your BS Here, Hot ‘n Fresh!

★ The sci-fi series “Sense8” has been renewed by Netflix for a 2nd season. The streaming service made the announcement via Twitter on Saturday. The show follows 8 strangers around-the-world who are connected by shared visions. Andy & Lana Wachowski (“The Matrix”) and J Michael Straczynski created, write and, executively produce the show. “Sense8″ was released for immediate streaming on June 5th this year and has already proven highly successful.
★ Lawyers for the partner of Bobbi Kristina Brown say a lawsuit accusing him of contributing to her death is ‘false and slanderous’. The administrator of Brown’s estate added a wrongful death count to the lawsuit against Nick Gordon. It accuses Gordon of giving Brown a ‘toxic cocktail’ and putting her face-down in water. The 22-year-old daughter of Whitney Houston died in hospice care on July 26th. Gordon hasn’t been criminally charged, as the Fulton County Medical Examiner’s office has reported that an initial autopsy reveals ‘no significant injuries’.
– AP
★ Jennifer Lopez (45) & Casper Smart (28) are reportedly planning a secret (Jennifer Aniston-style) wedding so they can start expanding their family together. An inside snitch says they’re looking to tie the knot with a ‘small and simple’ wedding at her home in the Hamptons NY. Quote: ”Casper’s great with the twins (7-year-olds Emme and Max) and he really wants to have a baby of his own too. They’ve already started trying, and he’d love to be able to reveal on their wedding day that they’re expecting.”
– “OK Magazine”

• Dr Dre – He’s announced that all his royalties from the new album “Compton: A Soundtrack” will go to charity. After his sale of Beats Electronics, it’s not like he needs any more moolah.
• Ed Sheeran – The 24-year-old & 37-year-old Nicole Scherzinger are reportedly dating, though his rep denies it and hers won’t comment. An insider says they are in the early stages of a relationship and while it may not develop beyond that, they’re definitely tight.
• The Faces – The 1970s band is reuniting for a one-off charity show. Rod Stewart, Ronnie Wood, and Kenney Jones have announced they are headlining the Rock ‘n Horsepower event at Hurtwood Park Polo Club in Surrey, south-east England on September 5th.
• Jake Owen – The country singer has announced that he and his wife Lacey Buchanan are divorcing after being married 3 years. Something in the water lately?
• Lady Antebellum – Charles Kelly and his wife Cassie have also announced they are no longer going to be a duo. But that’s because they are expecting a child in February.
• Lenny Kravitz – Fallout from his recent onstage pants-splitting episode suggests that he goes ‘commando’ and sports some bling on his thing … a piercing with a gold hoop decorated with a diamond. Rumor has it the rock is from a pair of his mom’s old earrings.
• Mariah Carey – She’s set to guest star on the upcoming 2nd season of “Empire” (FOX), the show’s creator Lee Daniels has revealed.
• Mötley Crüe – Bassist Nikki Sixx (56) wants to have a baby with his 3rd wife, Courtney Sixx (29), whom he wed last year. He already has 4 children, Gunner (24), Storm (21), Decker (20), and Frankie (14), from his 2 previous marriages.
• Nicki Minaj – Glu, maker of the massively successful Kim Kardashian mobile phone game, is set to release a new game featuring Ms Minaj in mid-2016.
• One Direction – Ex 1D member Zayn Malik has reportedly ordered ex-fiancé Perrie Edwards of Little Mix to move her stuff out of his North London home. He ended their 2-year engagement last month.
• Pitbull – He’s joining the ranks of guest stars coming up on the 2nd season of “Empire” on FOX-TV.
• Taylor Swift – Singer/songwriter Ryan Adams has revealed he is currently working on covering her hit album “1989” in its entirety. What we’d like to know is … why?

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Hot Chip (“Why Make Sense?”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Iggy Azalea f/Rita Ora (“Black Widow”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Vince Staples (“Summertime ’06”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Misterwives (“Our Own House”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Wolf Alice (“My Love is Cool”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Beirut (“No, No, No”, out September 11th).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Guest co-host Ciara (“Jackie”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – Dancers from both teams fight to stay in the competition.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Luke Bryan (“Kill the Lights”).

Further to discovering that Windows 10 has dropped the game of ‘Hearts’, we’ve now found out the reason Microsoft bothered to introduce games into the earliest versions of Windows. ‘Solitaire’ was reportedly added as a way for users to learn basic functions of a mouse – click, double-click, drag, and drop. ‘Minesweeper’ was meant to teach right-clicking; ‘Hearts’ was added to show off networking capabilities, and ‘Freecell’ ran a background test to see if certain hardware was running properly. Microsoft apparently never intended for the games to stick around, but every time they tried to get rid of them, beta testers would complain and Microsoft would reluctantly add them back. (Any Windows 10 horror stories out there? There are reports it can take upwards of 2½ hours to download the upgrade.)

A few things anyone with a partner who snores understands …
• When you say good night you always add “please don’t snore” … like it’ll make any difference.
• It always takes you ages to get to sleep because you know ‘The Snore’ will begin as soon as you start to drift off.
• You sometimes stare at their sleeping, snoring face and feel as though you HATE them.
• You know you are in for a really bad night when they start snoring BEFORE they are asleep.
• In a fit of sleep-deprived rage you have held their nose to make it stop. But all this does is make them snore even louder through their mouth, which is even worse.
• While the continuous snore is bad, the sudden burst of noise after a 5-minute silence is downright terrifying.
• The first time the snoring wakes you up, you go with a gentle poke and another polite request to “please don’t snore”. The 2nd time the snoring wakes you up, you go for full-out swearing.
• By 2 am you’re considering a divorce.
• Some nights it’s so bad that you/they move to the sofa but you can still hear them. Or can you? Is the sound just stuck in your head? Please … make it STOP!
(Your solution to silence a snorer is …?)
– Adapted from

There are new tattoos that last just 2 weeks so you don’t have to live a lifetime of regret after getting them. Entrepreneurial brothers Braden & Tyler Handley created the temp tats because, as they know all too well, getting the real deal can be scary. Their Inkbox Tattoos look just like the real deal but use an ink that comes from a fruit, long used by tribes in Panama to paint their bodies. Part of the proceeds from each tattoo sold goes to the Darien Initiative, a charity that supports these tribes. The special formula makes up 1 of the 4 layers of a tattoo patch. To apply the tat, the patch is simply held on skin with a damp cloth for 10 minutes. Within 24 hours the formula reacts safely with the top layer of skin. The brothers have already raised over $100,000 with a Kickstarter campaign, which means they’ll be able to offer custom designs that users can download or create themselves with a special tool on the website.

North Korea is creating a new time zone to ‘break from imperialism’. There are 41 time zones around-the-world but only North Korea will be on GMT +8.5 hours. (Known as ‘Wonky Time’.)
– #BBCGoFigure


1959 [56] Rosanna Arquette, NYC, movie actress (“Pulp Fiction”, “The Whole Nine Yards”)/sister of actors David Arquette & Patricia Arquette

1960 [55] Antonio Banderas, Malaga, Spain, movie actor (“Shrek” movies, “Spy Kids” films)

1971 [44] Justin Theroux, Washington DC, actor (HBO’s “The Leftovers”, “Mulholland Drive”)/screenwriter (“Tropic Thunder”, “Iron Man 2”)/wed to Jennifer Aniston last Wednesday UP NEXT: Writing the script for “Zoolander 2”.

1997 [18] Kylie Jenner, LA CA, fashion model/reality TV star (“Keeping Up With the Kardashians  BS FACTOID: Her 25-year-old rapper-boyfriend Tyga has bought her a red Mercedes G-Wagon for her birthday.

• “International Biodiesel Day”, observed on the anniversary of the 1893 testing of Rudolf Diesel’s diesel engine prototype, which ran on nothing but peanut oil. The day promotes the idea of using vegetable oil or animal fat-based bio-fuels in order to cut dependency on fossil fuels.

• “Lazy Day”, a day to take it easy. Just another day around here.

• “Skyscraper Appreciation Day”, observed annually on the birth date of famous architect William Can Alen, the genius behind NYC’s iconic Chrysler Building.

• “S’Mores Day” celebrating one of our favorite campfire treats, a toasted marshmallow sandwiched between graham crackers with piece of chocolate. The original recipe, published in Scout leader Loretta Scott Crew’s “Tramping & Trailing with the Girl Scouts” (1927), referred to the delicacy as ‘Some Mores’.

• “Smithsonian Day”, celebrating the series of Washington DC museums that form the Smithsonian Institution, basically ‘America’s Attic’. It was created on this date in 1846.

• “Spoil Your Dog Day”, like you have a choice. Just look at those big sad eyes … and those dangly wangly ears … aren’t you just the cootest little thing … er, sorry.

2008 [07] Isaac Hayes, singer (“Theme From Shaft”) and actor (‘Chef’ on “South Park”) dies in Memphis TN of a stroke at age 65

1985 [30] Michael Jackson pays $47.5-million for ATV Music catalogue, which includes 251 songs written by John Lennon & Paul McCartney

2004 [11] Rolling Stones’ Charlie Watts confirms he is undergoing treatment for throat cancer, which eventually goes into remission

1985 [30] 1st solo album by a female artist to sell 5 million copies (Madonna’s “Like a Virgin”)

2003 [12] Temperatures in the UK top 100 F (38 C) for the 1st time in recorded history, during a European-wide heat wave

2014 [01] Rory McIlroy wins his 4th major championship, the PGA, making him 1-of-4 players in golf history to reach that benchmark by age 25

[Tues] Play In the Sand Day
[Wed] IBM PC Day
[Wed] Vinyl Record Day
[Wed] World Elephant Day
[Thurs] International Lefthanders Day
[Fri] “The Man From UNCLE”; “Straight Outta Compton” open in movie theaters

Elvis Week / Feeding Pets Of the Homeless Week / Motorcycle Week / Resurrect Romance Week / Weird Contest Week


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
• Whenever you meet someone, you put a coin in his mouth and start yanking on his arm.
• After sex, you tell your spouse, “Okay, double or nothing!”
• You jump for joy whenever you get an ice cream sundae with 3 cherries on top.
• ‘Gamblers Anonymous’ knows you by name.
• To cut out the middle-man, you make mortgage payments directly to your bookie.
• An ‘Off-Track Betting’ window just opened up in your living room.
• Your top priority is to win enough money to get your kids back from the pawn shop.
• You’re wearing green felt underpants.
– First published in “BS” 1999.

What’s the oddest placename you’ve come across while on vacation? Check these out …
• Beaver (Oklahoma)
• Shitlingthorpe (Britain)
• Bastard (Norway)
• Muff (Northern Ireland)
• Climax (Colorado)
• Dildo (Newfoundland)
• Dong Rack (Thailand)
• Intercourse (Pennsylvania)
• Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
• Chinaman’s Knob (Australia)
• Sexmoan (Philippines)
– First published in “BS” 2003.

I found a way to keep that new car smell. Every week I buy a new car.

What do the following words mean?
• ‘Baggit’ (BAG-it)
a. A full grown female salmon that has already spawned. [CORRECT]
b. A partially grown palm tree.
c. A small purse used by a fully grown woman.

• ‘Leefang’ (LEE-fang)
a. The scientific term for mulched leaves.
b. A Chinese delicacy made from pigeons.
c. A rope used in the rigging of a ship. [CORRECT]

• ‘Omphalos’ (AHM-fah-luss)
a. A process used to remove tattoos.
b. A fancy word for ‘belly button’. [CORRECT]
c. The ancient Greek city that first hosted the Olympic Games.

☎ Name a band that stuck around far too long. Who should have retired earlier?

“Uptown Funk” … as sung by the movies. Genius!

Question: It’s estimated that by the end of the year, $335 million-worth of THESE will be stolen.
Answer: Shopping carts.

Plan to be spontaneous. Tomorrow.

Ely Ceja @ Tejano Z-93 [KJBZ] Laredo TX; Studio 2 IT & Media Solutions, Dublin, Ireland; John Roberts @ The Best Country [WJMC] Rice Lake WI; Midnight MultiMedia, Colorado Springs CO; Deborah DeYoung @, Kent OH; Al Reno @ Ocean 98 [WOCM] Ocean City MD; Lewis Cruz @ Gospel 90.3 [WLVF] Haines City FL; Aron Kinnamon @ Power 98.3 [KKFR] Phoenix AZ; Yemi @ 105.3 Afro FM Addis Abeba, Ethiopia; and Jim Schreck @ 98.5 [WNYR] Geneva NY.

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