Monday, August 15, 2011        Edition: #4571

Sheeters Always Prosper!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• What’s with all the stages falling down of late? Performers Sara Bareilles and Sugarland escaped unscathed after a powerful storm caused the stage at the Indiana State Fair in suburban Indianapolis to collapse Saturday night, injuring 40 and tragically killing at least 4.  Bareilles had finished her show and Sugarland had yet to take the stage. High winds are believed to have been the cause. All activities at the fair were canceled Sunday, but the event is expected to resume this morning with a memorial service for the casualties.
– TMZ.com
• Wed on the weekend: 44-year-old “The View” co-host Sherri Shepherd & TV writer Lamar ‘Sal’ Sally at the Fairmont Hotel in her hometown of Chicago. The 44-year-old bride was walked down the aisle by her 6-year-old son, Jeffrey. Her bridesmaids included her TV co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Also taking the plunge: “Dancing With the Stars” co-host Brooke Burke (39) & former “Baywatch” actor David Charvet (39) on the Caribbean island of St Barts on Friday night. It’s about time … they’d been engaged 5 years and already have 2 children.
– RadarOnline.com
• 25-year-old actress Dianna Agron has celebrated finishing the promo tour for “Glee: The 3-D Concert Movie” by dying her hair a shocking pink. She’d already had her hair cut into a short bob in May, and says she’s hoping to keep it for the upcoming TV season. She joins a list of stars who’ve had a dye-job recently, including Kate Bosworth, Katy Perry, and Sienna Miller.
– People.com
• A new bigscreen version of “The Lone Ranger” has reportedly shut down production. Johnny Depp was aboard to play the role of ‘Tonto’ alongside Armie Hammer, who was to play the legendary ‘masked man’ in the re-telling of the classic Western. It was scheduled for release in December 2012. Apparently the problem is budgetary concerns, not creative differences.
– Contactmusic.com
• 58-year-old Roseanne Barr is planning her sitcom comeback with a show about another dysfunctional family. The larger-than-life comedian scored a huge hit in the 1990s with her long-running show “Roseanne”. The new project is called “Downwardly Mobile”, but it’s not yet attached to any particular network. In other words … it’s still being shopped around.
– “Hollywood Reporter”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Trombone Shorty (“For True”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Josh Ritter (“The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (“Beat the Devil’s Tattoo”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Porcelain Black (“Porcelain Black”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Train (“Save Me, San Francisco”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Nick Jonas (“Jonas Bros).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alan Jackson – He’s planning to play a free concert for the location that wants it most. Fans can make their demands online …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/3dm4zgy
• The Band Perry – Tonight their circa 75-date “Purveyors of Performance Tour” kicks off in Lewisburg, West Virginia.
• Coldplay – Chris Martin tells “Billboard” he constantly worries that each album feels like the band’s last. Their latest, “Mylo Xyloto”, is due October 25th.
• Eminem – A boxing film entitled “Southpaw”, in which he was set to star, has been scrapped by Dreamworks studio. It was set to be his first starring role since the movie “8 Mile” in 2002.
• Eric Church – He tells Reuters he chooses not to participate in social media like Twitter and Facebook, and credits his fans with spreading the word about his hit album “Chief”, now atop the “Billboard” magazine ‘Country Albums’ chart for a 2nd consecutive week.
• Luke Bryan – The country star has received numerous stitches in his forehead after falling off a skateboard he’d just purchased in NYC a few hours after appearing on NBC-TV’s “Today” show.
• Michael Jackson – His 3 children are planning to make a speech in his honor at “Michael Forever: The Tribute Concert”, scheduled for October 8th in Cardiff, Wales. Cee Lo Green, Christina Aguilera, and Leona Lewis are among the few performers announced so far.
• Rihanna – Her personal trainer tells “Grazia” magazine that the pop star ‘needs’ to eat chocolate ice cream as it’s her comfort food and she demands her ‘quota’. So, like most other things she wants these days, she gets it.
• Warrant – Former frontman Jani Lane’s death at age 47 will remain a mystery for months after an initial autopsy on Friday proved inconclusive. The body of the former glam metal star was discovered in an LA hotel Thursday night. The band had a #2 single with “Heaven” in 1989, followed by the rock anthem “Cherry Pie” a year later.

CRUSH CONTROL:
Scientists at Germany’s Fraunhofer Institute for Intelligent Analysis & Information Systems think a new method of spotting crowd congestion might have averted a crush at the “Love Parade” festival in Duisberg last year that killed 21 people and injured over 500. The new camera and computer-based system is based on one simple observation: When people become trapped in a highly congested area they sway from side-to-side in an effort to keep their balance. When the system was used to analyze festival footage, it produced its highest alert about a half-hour in advance of the disaster.
– UPI

LIFE BY THE NUMBERS:
A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 83% of iPhone users believe another iPhone user would make the best romantic partner.
• 66% of married women say if there’s one thing they could change it would be getting a higher-paying job.
• 64% of us kill time at work by watching online videos.
• 38% of men think women look sexy when they wear a hat.
• 35% of us now send friends & family cellphone photos instead of vacation postcards.
• 29% of parents say they dread back-to-school shopping.

COMMUTER RELIEF:
Stressed-out train commuters in China are being urged to work off their frustrations … on giant punching bags. The bags – which first appeared at subway stations throughout Beijing last week – are designed to reduce the number of travelers taking out their rush hour stress on staff. A sign on the punch bags translates to: “Each year, you will spend about 1,824 minutes waiting at stops; don’t waste time, please have a few punches on our pressure-releasing pillars.” A train guard says that as long as stressed-out commuters punch the bags and not transit workers, he’s happy.
– Orange.co.uk

FOR THE RECORD:
• Menachem Hager of Fort Lauderdale, Florida has become the oldest person to receive a degree from Florida Atlantic University after picking up an MA in liberal studies on his 90th birthday. His plan from here-on … working on getting a PhD.
– UPI.com
• Marie Kolstad of Orange County, California has surprised her family by undergoing an $8,000-breast augmentation procedure that boosted her from a size 32A to a 36C. Nothing newsworthy about that except … she’s an 83-year-old great-grandmother.
– CBS News

DID YOU KNOW?
• According to well-known hacker Dino Dai Zovi, the average amount of time it takes to hack an iPhone password is just 18 minutes.
– TheStar.com
• The latest trend in luxury hotels is the ‘salt sommelier’, a person who picks the best sort of salt to season your meal.
– PopBitch.com
• The Canadian Pension Plan Investment Board made $1.3 billion in investment income in the 2nd quarter of 2011, pretty impressive considering the tumultuous state of stock markets.
– TheSpec.com

BS CHRONOMETER 08.15.11


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1964 [47] Melinda French Gates, Dallas TX, wife of Microsoft founder Bill Gates/philanthropist (co-founder & co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation)

1968 [43] Debra Messing, Brooklyn NY, TV actress  (“The Starter Wife” 2007-08, “Will & Grace” 1998-2006)/movie actress (“Lucky You”, “The Wedding Date”)  UP NEXT: The musical TV series “Smash” (NBC/CTV), premiering February 2012.

1972 [39] Ben Affleck, Berkeley CA, movie director (“The Town”, “Gone Baby Gone”)/movie actor (“State of Play”, “Pearl Harbor”)/screenwriter (1998 ‘Best Screenplay’ Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)/married to actress Jennifer Garner (2005)

1974 [37] Natasha Henstridge, Springdale NL (raised Fort McMurray AB trailer park), movie actress (“The Whole Nine Yards”, “Species” films)/TV actress (“The Secret Circle” 2011, “Eli Stone” 2008-09)

1978 [33] Tim Foreman, Lake Arrowhead CA, alt-rock bassist (Switchfoot-“Dare You to Move”, “Meant to Live”)

1989 [22] Joe Jonas, Casa Grande AZ, former teen idol attempting to make it as a solo pop singer (“See No More”, Jonas Bros-“ Burnin’ Up”)/TV actor (“Jonas”, Camp Rock”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Best Friends Day”, a day to salute our BFFs for being there … when nobody else is.

• “Discovery Day” in Yukon Territory, celebrated on the 3rd Monday of August to commemorate the discovery of placer gold on Rabbit Creek (later known as Bonanza Creek) in 1896, which touched off the great ‘Klondike Gold Rush’.

• “Failures Day”, a day for to reflect on life’s accomplishments. Interesting to note that every successful person has had failures … but failures are no guarantee of success.

• “Lemon Meringue Pie Day”. OK, we’re in! Just a small piece … this time.
NET: http://tinyurl.com/3osh9j9

• “National Acadian Day”, celebrating the original French people who settled the areas now called Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and PEI starting in the early 17th century. The observance was initiated at the first National Acadian Convention in Memramcook NB in 1881. (If so many Acadians hadn’t been banished to Louisiana, “Mardi Gras” might have been based in Moncton!)

• “Relaxation Day”, a day to think about and encourage new forms of relaxation. Meditation? Yoga? Beer?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1969 [42] “The Woodstock Music & Art Fair” opens, attracting some 450,000 rock fans to watch 2 dozen bands on a wooden stage in the middle of Max Yasgur’s farm

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1981 [30] Lionel Richie & Diana Ross hit #1 on pop charts with “Endless Love” (stays on top for 9 weeks)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1877 [134] 1st use of the telephone greeting ‘Hello’ as Thomas Edison persuades his pal Alexander Graham Bell that it sounds better than the previously used ‘Ahoy!’ (try using ahoy on the phones throughout your show today)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1974 [37] A team of 6 athletes in Phoenix, Arizona performs the ‘Longest Trampoline Bouncing Marathon’ … 1,248 hours or 52 days

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Tues] Elvis Memorial Day
[Tues] Remember What Your Spouse Wore the First Time You Met Day
[Tues] Tell a Joke Day
[Wed] Thrift Shop Day
[Wed] Archeology Day
[Thurs] Bad Poetry Day
[Thurs] Birth Control Pill Day
[Thurs] Cupcake Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Aviation Week / Elvis Week / Resurrect Romance Week / Weird Contest Week / World Money Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
WORST BS PICK-UP LINES:
• Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
• I may not be ‘Fred Flintstone’, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
• I’d like to boink your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
• If you’re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until afternoon.
• Oh, I’m sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.
• You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
• Hi, I’m a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?
• Hi my name is [your co-host]. Remember it, cause you’ll be screaming it all night long.
• The fact that I’m missing my teeth just means that there’s more room for your tongue.
– First published in “BS” 2000
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
If your life was a TV series, which show would it be and why?

BULL’S EYE:
Longtime subscriber Keith Ellert @ 96.1 The Rush [CKRW] Whitehorse, Yukon brings up a good point about trivia usage, noting that many “BS” subscribers post the daily ‘Watercooler Question’ on their websites after it’s used each day. By the time he gets to the feature (21 time zones after our first “BS” subscriber), his listeners simply search the web for an answer. A couple of thoughts on that …
• In this era of portable electronic devices, contests need to adapt. Anyone with 2 thumbs and a smartphone can now answer virtually any straight-up trivia question within moments.
• One solution is … forget about making it a contest. Use trivia solely as a hook. You do the question going into a stop set, the answer afterward. Add some pizzazz by getting your crew to take a guess or two.
• Another way of using it … do it in real-time. Get a contestant on the phone first, then ask the question rather than the other way around. This way they have no time to look up the answer.
• We’ve always contended the main strength of any contest should be its entertainment value. What you’re trying to accomplish is to get the other 98% of your audience (who’ll never call a radio station for anything) to hang in a few minutes longer until they hear the correct answer.

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I found a new way to exercise on the beach. I suck in my stomach every time I see a bikini.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 1-in-20 pets now has one of THESE.
Today’s Answer: Their own Facebook page.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others WHENever they go.


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