Thursday, August 15, 2013        Edition: #5047

Sheeters Always Prosper!

✶ Will Ferrell’s “Anchorman” character ‘Ron Burgundy’ is about to publish his memoirs. The fictional newsman will release a tell-all autobiography titled “Let Me Off At the Top!: My Classy Life & Other Musings”. It purportedly will offer readers a ‘rare glimpse behind-the-camera into the real life of a man many consider our greatest living news anchor’. The book will be out in November, just in time for the movie sequel “Anchorman: The Legend Continues” opening December 20th. (Is this movie a ‘must win’ for Farrell’s career?)
✶ TV’s popular British period drama “Downton Abbey” has moved quickly to sign the show’s biggest stars in a bid to avoid another exit from the cast. 30-year-old actor Dan Stevens left abruptly last year to pursue other interests and his ‘Matthew Crawley’ character had to be killed off in the 2012 Christmas special. So now the cast has been signed to long-term deals, including stars Hugh Bonneville (‘Earl Crawley’) & Elizabeth McGovern (‘Lady Crawley’) at £1 million-plus apiece … over $1.5 million. (“Downton Abbey” returns for it’s 4th season next month on ITV in the UK and January 5th on PBS in America.)
✶ 44-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston tells Australian radio personalities Kyle & Jackie O she would rather go bald than go back to her iconic “Friends”-era haircut, which was dubbed ‘The Rachel’ after her character ‘Rachel Green’. The layered bob ‘do was an international trendsetter in the 1990s, but Aniston has since referred to it as, quote: “The ugliest haircut I’ve ever seen.” (Easy to say now, girl. But it made you a star!)
✶ 23-year-old actor Alex Pettyfer (“Magic Mike”) is reportedly back together with ex-fiancée Riley Keough, Elvis Presley’s 24-year-old model-granddaughter. Pettyfer called off their engagement last year amid speculation Keough had gotten close to “Twilight” star Robert Pattinson. But this week the twosome were spotted at the LA premiere of “Lee Daniels’ The Butler” looking like more than just friends, as she was reportedly sporting a giant rock on her ring finger. (Guess he checked out the annual report from Elvis Presley Enterprises.)

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – (“”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Big Sean (“Hall of Fame”, out August 27th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – The Men (“New Moon”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Justin Timberlake week continues (“The 20/20 Experience”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Snoop Lion (“Reincarnated”). Rerun.
• “Owner’s Manual” (AMC) – Debut of a new reality series in which hosts Marcus Hunt & Ed Sanders operate today’s most advanced machinery and technology, one by reading the ‘owner’s manual’, the other totally winging it.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Natalie Cole (“Natalie Cole En Español”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Il Volo (“We Are Love”). Rerun.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Emblem3 (“Nothing to Lose”); TI (“Trouble Man: Heavy Is the Head”). Rerun.

• Carrie Underwood – She’s the latest celebrity to team up with nail-care brand OPI for a collection of nail polishes. Among the country star’s 14 new colors is a gold shade called ‘Carrie’d Away’. The new line is slated to hit stores in January.
• Chris Brown – Now he’s being sued by a cousin of Frank Ocean, who claims Brown’s bodyguard beat him up during a confrontation between the 2 stars earlier this year at an LA recording studio. The beef was all about … a parking spot.
• Elton John – He’s recovering from his recent appendix surgery on a sunny break in the South of France with partner David Furnish and their 2 sons. Joining them in St Tropez: Neil Patrick Harris, his partner David Burtka, and their 2 children.
• Jonas Brothers – Nick Jonas is set to become the next famous face to make a guest-starring appearance on TV crime drama “Hawaii Five-O” (CBS). Jonas will play a computer hacker in an episode airing this Fall.
• Lady Gaga – She wore Michael Jackson’s actual clothes as inspiration while finishing up her new album “ARTPOP” (out November 11th). She had the winning bid on 55 items from his wardrobe at an auction last year.
• Michael Jackson – This week a forensic accountant testified at the court battle between the Jackson family and concert promoter AEG Live that the King of Pop was paying $30 million in interest annually on his huge debt at the time of his death … leaving him flat broke.
• Taylor Swift – 8 months after their bitter breakup, she’s apparently forgiven One Direction singer and former (brief) boyfriend Harry Styles. She was reportedly encouraged to drop her anger and move on by Brit singer Ed Sheeran, who is currently on tour with the country star.

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Her” – Spike Jonze (“Where the Wild Things Are”) directs this sci-fi romance starring Joaquin Phoenix as a lonely guy who falls for his computer operating system, voiced by Scarlett Johansson. Also in the cast: Amy Adams, Chris Pratt, Olivia Wilde, Rooney Mara. The soundtrack includes Arcade Fire and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. The film’s out November 20th.
• “The Hundred-Foot Journey” – Steven Spielberg and Oprah Winfrey are co-producing director Lasse Halstrom’s adaptation of the Richard Morais best-seller. The story revolves around a 22-year-old Indian man (played by Manish Dayal) who becomes a famous French chef with the help of a female mentor (Helen Mirren). The film begins production in September.
• “Justice League” – Production is underway on this superhero mash-up featuring ‘Batman’, ‘Superman’, ‘Wonder Woman’, and ‘Green Lantern’ uniting to fight evil. But now comes word Christian Bale has been offered $50 million at the last minute to reprise his role as ‘Batman’ in this project as well as in “Man of Steel 2”. Bale had previously said he’s hung up the cape.
• “Midnight Special” – Kirsten Dunst has been signed to star opposite Joel Edgerton (“Great Gatsby”) and Michael Shannon (“Man of Steel”) in Jeff Nichols’ sci-fi drama about a father who goes on the run with his 8-year-old son when he discovers the boy has mysterious special powers. A release date has not yet been announced as the film is still in pre-production.
• “Now You See Me 2” – A sequel is in the works for this year’s magic-themed heist movie that’s raked in $230 million-plus in box office and has yet to open in Australia, China, and Japan. The original cast includes Jesse Eisenberg, Isla Fisher, Woody Harrelson, and Mark Ruffalo but it’s not known how many of them, if any, will return for the 2014 followup.

Some surprising highlights of a new Gallup poll on the topic …
• 80% of us eat some type of fast food monthly; almost 50% weekly.
• 57% of young adults aged 18-to-29 indulge weekly, the highest frequency of any age group.
• 51% who earn $75,000-plus annually are more likely to eat fast food weekly, in comparison to just 39% who earn less than $20,000 a year (they can’t afford it).
• Only 4% of us claim to NEVER eat at fast-food restaurants.

Droves of NYC teachers are looking for sugar daddies to make ends meet, according to a website that matches wealthy men with younger single women who need income. Close to 500 female teachers have signed on in the past year in a desperate bid to find men to pay their bills because their jobs simply aren’t lucrative enough. The site promises to help the ‘sugar babies’ find rich, older men. (Good idea … or just an online brothel?)

Other than a hotel room, these are the top places women have done the deed while on vacation, according to a recent Ipsos-Reid poll …
5. In a hot tub. (14%).
4. On a hotel balcony. (14%)
3. In a swimming pool. (14%)
2. In the ocean. (15%)
1. On a beach. (20%).
(4% actually managed to do it … in a hammock.)

Crowdfunded startup company DrinkSavvy is creating glasses, cups, and straws which reveal to users whether or not their beverages have had drugs added to them. The line of 16-ounce cups and straws change color when in contact with common ‘date rape’ drugs like ketamine, Rohypnol, and GHB. The drugs are tough to detect as they are odorless, colorless, and tasteless. The glasses develop red vertical red lines when the drugs are detected; the normally white drinking straws turn solid red. The company hopes bars and clubs will swap out their current drinkware for DrinkSavvy products, making them the new safety standard. (Brilliant!)

If a corner office isn’t in the cards yet, here are a few tips on how to maximize the space you already have …
✓ Lighten up. Wall colors like white or pale grey make rooms feel larger than darker shades.
✓ Free your chair. Position your seat so you can swivel and slide without bumping into things.
✓ Be transparent. Replace solid furniture with see-through, mesh-style chairs, which give the impression of more room.
✓ Improve sightlines. Raising window blinds and opening doors enlarges the feel of your office.
✓ Minimize clutter. The more floor and desk space you leave free, the larger your office will seem.
✓ Start an art gallery. Hanging a scenic painting or landscape photo on a wall can fool your peripheral vision into thinking your office looks out onto a grand vista.
– Condensed from “Men’s Health”

Yesterday we listed a few unusual USA facts, today a couple about Canada …
• 59% of Canadians say they have sex weekly.
• 4 of the world’s top 10 strongest banks, as ranked by Bloomberg, are based in Canada.
• By population size, no other country breaks more Guinness World Records.


1964 [49] Melinda French Gates, Dallas TX, wife of Microsoft founder Bill Gates/philanthropist (co-founder & co-chair of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation)

1968 [45] Debra Messing, Brooklyn NY, TV actress  (“Smash” 2012-13, “Will & Grace” 1998-2006)/movie actress (“Lucky You”, “The Wedding Date”)

1972 [41] Ben Affleck, Berkeley CA, movie director (“Argo”, “The Town”)/movie actor (“State of Play”, “Pearl Harbor”)/screenwriter (Oscar-“Good Will Hunting”)/wed to actress Jennifer Garner (2005)

1974 [39] Natasha Henstridge, Springdale NL, TV actress (“The Secret Circle” 2011-13, “Eli Stone” 2008-09)/movie actress (“The Whole Nine Yards”, “Species” films)

1989 [24] Joe Jonas, Casa Grande AZ, pop singer (Jonas Bros-“Burnin’ Up”)/TV actor (“Camp Rock”)

1990 [23] Jennifer Lawrence, Louisville KY, movie actress (“Silver Linings Playbook”, “The Hunger Games”)

• “Acadian Day”, celebrating the original French who settled the areas of Canada now called Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Prince Edward Island starting in the early 17th century. Many Acadians were later banished by the British to Louisiana, where the name became contracted to ‘Cajun’.

• “Best Friends Day”, a day to salute our BFFs for being there … when nobody else is.

• “Failures Day”, a day for to reflect on life’s accomplishments. Interesting to note that every successful person has had failures, but failures are no guarantee of success.

• “Lemon Meringue Pie Day”. OK, we’re in! Just a small piece this time.

• “Relaxation Day”, a day to think about and encourage new forms of relaxation. Meditation? Yoga? Beer?

2000 [13] “Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets” goes on sale (book 2 in the series)

2008 [05] “Star Wars: The Clone Wars” opens in movie theaters (proving George Lucas has already begun thinking about selling out)

1969 [44] “The Woodstock Music & Art Fair” opens, attracting some 450,000 rock fans to watch 2 dozen bands on a wooden stage in the middle of Max Yasgur’s farm

1877 [136] 1st use of the telephone greeting ‘Hello’ as Thomas Edison persuades his pal Alexander Graham Bell that it sounds better than the previously used ‘Ahoy!’ (try using ahoy on the phones throughout your show today)

2002 [11] ‘Slowest Police Chase on Record’ as cops in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania charge a 30-year-old man for public drunkenness after he’s spotted cruising down a street on a child’s Fisher Price Power Wheels car … at 3 mph (makes OJ Simpson seem like an Indy champ)

[Fri] “JOBS”; “Kick-Ass 2”; “Lee Daniels’ The Butler”; “Paranoia” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Hug Your Boss Day
[Fri] Men’s Grooming Day
[Sat] Thrift Shop Day
[Sun] Bad Poetry Day
This Week Is … World Money Week
This Month Is … Psoriasis Awareness Month


Maybe you really are what you eat! According to new research at Penn State, there may be a link between flavor preferences and personality. A sampling of food favorites and the personality traits likely to accompany them …
✓ Sweet Foods (chocolate, ice cream, maple syrup) … cooperative and agreeable folks.
✓ Spicy Foods (wasabi, horseradish, chili peppers) … adventurous thrill-seekers.
✓ Savory Foods (bacon, steak, pizza) … outgoing people who enjoy friends and family.
✓ Salty Foods (potato chips, french fries, pretzels) … easy-going types who go with the flow.
✓ Bitter Foods (grapefruit, olives, coffee) …. cautious people who can be judgmental.
– “Journal of Personality & Social Psychology”

☎ Which TV/movie character does your partner most resemble?

You’ve just bought a bottle of pear brandy with a real pear inside. How did it get there?
a. Open-bottom bottles are filled upside down, then the bottom attached afterward.
b. Pears are sectioned into strips, inserted through the bottleneck, then reassembled inside.
c. The pear grew inside the bottle. [CORRECT. Bottles are placed over pear buds and wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.]
– “Totally Trivial”

You’ll never be the man your mother was!

Question: A third of husbands admit they hide THESE from their wives.
Answer: Speeding tickets.

Any issue worth debating is worth avoiding altogether.

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