Tuesday, August 16, 2011 Edition: #4572
Ah, the Sweet Smell of BS!
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
23-year-old actress/singer Hilary Duff & her 30-year-old hockey player-husband Mike Comrie (Pittsburgh Penguins) have confirmed they’re expecting their first child (lil’ ‘Lizzie McGuire’ is all grown up!) . . . Movie star Jennifer Aniston may appear on the daytime TV drama “Days of Our Lives” (no, Hollywood hasn’t finally realized she can’t open a movie, she’s just trying to save the soap her dad stars in) . . . Actor Charlie Sheen is on IR after injuring his elbow while practicing at Chase Field, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks, for a new sequel to his baseball movie comedy series “Major League” (ouch … losing!) . . . Actress Jessica Alba’s new daughter has been named ‘Haven Garner’; “30 Rock” creator-star Tina Fey’s new daughter is ‘Penelope Athena’ (what baby name book do these people use?) . . . Sorta actress Tara Reid has wed Danish entrepreneur Michael Lilleund in Greece – just a few hours after becoming engaged (‘cause it’s been a long dry spell since “American Pie”) . . . Final figures show “Glee: The 3-D Concert Movie” didn’t even crack the top 10 at the box office over the weekend (‘Gleekiness’ is becoming so yesterday) . . . Soon-to-be-50 actress Heather Locklear is reportedly flashing a 6-carat rock celebrating her engagement to longtime boyfriend, 51-year-old actor Jack Wagner (after 2 strikeouts with rock stars, could this be a hit?) . . . And comedian Mike Myers is apparently set for yet another sequel to his 1960s spy-spoof movie “Austin Powers” (1997), which he’s expected to write, produce, and star in (it’s like hearing the same joke for the 4th time).
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/A Channel) – Christina Aguilera (“Bionic”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – The Vaccines (“What Did You Expect From The Vaccines?”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Nicole Atkins & The Black Sea (“Mondo Amore”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Ray LaMontagne & The Pariah Dogs (“God Willin’ & The Creek Don’t Rise”). Rerun.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Gene Simmons (KISS). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Adam Levine (“The Voice”); Ziggy Marley (“Wild & Free”). Rerun.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• AC/DC – Later this month they’re releasing their own line of wines in Australia in collaboration with winemaker Warburn Estate. The collection includes ‘Back in Black Shiraz’, ‘Highway to Hell Cabernet Sauvignon’, and ‘You Shook Me All Night Long Moscato’.
• Eli Young Band – Their new album “Life at Best” is out today, containing the country hit “Crazy Girl” which has now sold a whopping 600,000 copies. The 4 Texans who make up the band met 11 years ago while attending college.
• Kix Brooks – Tonight the Louisiana Tech University alumnus is the featured speaker at the Ruston LA school’s 30th alumni & fan football preseason kickoff called ‘The Happening’.
• Lady Gaga – She’s been spotted arriving at a recording studio in West Hollywood numerous times in recent weeks. It’s unclear whether she’s working on material for a 3rd album or a separate project.
• Sly Stone – After a 3-decade hiatus from recording, he’s releasing “I’m Back! Family & Friends” today. It includes previously unreleased tracks and re-workings of past hits with collaborators like Ann Wilson (Heart), guitarist Jeff Beck, and Ray Manzarek (The Doors).
• Taylor Swift – During a recent visit to Washington DC she saw the famous Lincoln Memorial for the first time. She missed the 8th-grade school trip to the capital … because she had a show.
TODAY’S VIDEO RELEASES:
• “The Conspirator” ( PG-13 Drama) – Robert Redford directs this period drama based on true events following the assassination of US president Abraham Lincoln. Stars James McAvoy, Robin Wright, Justin Long, Evan Rachel Wood, Kevin Kline, Alexis Bledel.
• “Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs Evil” ( PG Animated Comedy ): In this sequel to the 2005 film, ‘Red Riding Hood’ (Hayden Panettiere) embarks on a search-and-rescue mission for a pair of children abducted by a witch. Voice cast includes Amy Poehler, Glenn Close, and Martin Short.
• “Jane Eyre” ( PG-13 Drama ): In this spooky re-telling of Charlotte Bronte’s beloved novel, a mousy governess who softens the heart of her employer soon discovers that he’s hiding a terrible secret. Stars Mia Wasikowska (“Alice in Wonderland”).
• “Priest” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): Paul Bettany (“Da Vinci Code”) plays a legendary ‘Warrior Priest’ who disobeys church law by deciding to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece. He’s joined on his crusade by a hair-trigger young wasteland sheriff (Cam Gigandet).
• “Something Borrowed” ( PG-13 Romantic Comedy ): Kate Hudson and Ginnifer Goodwin play best friends who are caught between the same guy (Colin Egglesfield). Co-stars John Krasinski (“The Office”).
• “The Ward” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): In director John Carpenter’s latest, Amber Heard stars as a troubled new arrival at a psychiatric hospital who is spooked by a ghostly presence that no one else will admit to seeing.
• Also released today: “Batman: The Brave & The Bold – Season 2” (Animation); “Dexter: The 5th Season” (TV); “Gavin & Stacey: The Complete Collection” (TV); “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” (Collector’s Edition); “Outcasts: Season 1” (TV); “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Complete Season 9” (Animation); and “VeggieTales: Princess & The Pop Star” (Animation).
STICK-ON MONITOR:
In the future, hospital stays may no longer involve wires, prodding, poking, and getting connected to large monitoring machines. University of Illinois researchers have created a wearable electronic skin patch which is no more invasive than a temporary tattoo. And yet, they say it’s powerful enough to monitor muscle activity, heart activity, or even brain waves in real time without bulky medical equipment. The device is mounted on a thin sheet of plastic and then laminated onto the skin with water. It bends, stretches and wrinkles like skin, so movement won’t cause it to break or fall off. (this adds whole new meaning to a ‘band-aid solution’.)
– DigitalJournal.com
FACEBOOK FRAUDSTER:
A computer hacker in Newcastle, England has managed to steal close to $60,000 from his neighbors’ online bank accounts after working out the answers to their security questions from info they’d posted on the social networks Facebook and Friends Reunited. His scam only came to an end when he became over-confident, changed his system, and authorities were subsequently alerted. He’s now been sentenced to 15 months in the slammer for fraud. (Yet another reason to protect your privacy.)
– Telegraph.co.uk
NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• Chandrashekhar Chawan, an optometrist at the Sekhar Eye Research Centre in Mumbai, India, wanted to offer customers an extra sparkle for their eyes. Initially, he tried gold, but it didn’t work that well. After his wife had diamonds mounted into her teeth, Chawan then realized that jewels present the luminous effect for which he was searching. Now he sells thick contact lenses with diamonds embedded inside for … $15,000 a set. (You’ll suffer cardiac arrest if you accidentally drop one down the sink drain.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/4yjahxq
– MSNBC
• Japanese designer Ryohei Yoshiyuki has developed a new wristwatch called ‘Time Of the Sky’ that’s designed to help you tell the time by … the color of the sky. That’s right, the face of the watch is a small screen which changes hue based on colors appropriate to various day parts. For those needing a more precise indicator for hours and minutes, there’s a button-activated option to see actual time. (This is really handy when you wake up in the middle of the night.)
NET: http://tinyurl.com/2fubk69
– Neatorama.com
BEER GOGGLES EXPLAINED:
It’s a proven fact that people start looking better & better the more you drink alcohol. But is there actually a scientific reason behind this? It might all have to do with something called ‘bilateral symmetry’. It’s widely accepted that people who are considered attractive are those who display a high degree of symmetry, and now researchers at Britain’s Roehampton University think a reduced ability to judge this symmetry brought on by the general visual impairment of alcohol may account for the phenomenon that people seem more attractive when we’re drunk. (Great … how’s that cure for cancer coming along?)
– “Discover Magazine”
THE NEW ‘OLD DAYS’:
Remember the 1990s? You know, “Rugrats”, “Saved By the Bell”, and New Kids On the Block? Well, love ‘em or not, get ready … they’re baaaack! A few examples: MTV will soon restart “Beavis & Butt-Head”; its music-video show “120 Minutes” is already back on MTV2; VH1 is about to reboot “Pop-Up Video”; and a few weeks ago, Nickelodeon started airing ‘classic children’s television shows’ like “Clarissa Explains It All” and “All That” on its sister station, TeenNick. (Remember Tamagotchi, Rollerblades, Pogs, and Doc Martens? How about scrunchies, slap bracelets, light-up sneakers, jelly shoes, and shoelace hair clips?)
– TIME.com
DID YOU KNOW?
• A shorter than average tongue is not good if you’re learning to speak Korean.
– “The Sun”
• The prison system in Brazil holds an annual ‘Miss Penitentiary’ beauty contest.
– “Daily Mail”
BS CHRONOMETER 08.16.11
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [58] Kathie Lee Gifford, Paris, France, TV personality (“Today” since 2008; “Live With Regis & Kathie Lee” 1988-2000)/husband-former sportscaster Frank Gifford is 81 today
1954 [57] James Cameron, Kapuskasing ON, movie director/producer/writer (all-time box office champs “Avatar” $2.74 billion; and “Titanic” $1.84 billion)/3 Academy Awards (“Titanic”)
1958 [53] Madonna (Ciccone), Bay City MI, pop singer (“Hung Up”, “Take a Bow”)/movie director (“WE”, opening December 9th)/film actress (“Swept Away”, “Die Another Day”)/Mrs Guy Ritchie 2000-08; Mrs Sean Penn (1985-89)
1962 [49] Steve Carell, Concord MA, movie actor (“Crazy, Stupid, Love”, “The 40 Year Old Virgin”)/TV actor (“The Office” 2005-11)
1972 [39] Emily Robison (Erwin), Pittsfield MA, country singer (Court Yard Hounds-“The Coast”; Dixie Chicks-“Travelin’ Soldier”, “Wide Open Spaces”)
1972 [39] George Stroumboulopoulos, Malton ON, TV personality (“George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” since 2005, former MuchMusic VJ 2000-04)
1980 [31] Vanessa Carlton, Milford PA, pop singer (“A Thousand Miles”, “Ordinary Day”)
1980 [31] Robert Hardy, Dewsbury UK, rock bassist (Franz Ferdinand-“No You Girls”, “Take Me Out”)
1982 [29] Cam Gigandet, Tacoma WA, movie actor (“Priest”, “Twilight”)
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Remember What Your Spouse Wore the First Time You Met Day”. Uh, good luck with that.
• “Roller Coaster Day”, celebrating every amusement park’s fast-track to fun. The idea for the roller coaster was first patented by LaMarcus Adna Thompson in 1885.
• “Stay Home With Your Kids Day”, initiated in 1996 to encourage and support those parents who have chosen to be home with their children. For those who haven’t, it’s the perfect opportunity to take a vacation day and give serious thought to making the change.
• “Tell-A-Joke Day”, a good day to have people call in with really rotten jokes, then tutor them on how to make them funnier.
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1999 [12] “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?” debuts (ABC/CTV) as a summer fill-in special hosted by Regis Philbin, but quickly goes on to become TV’s #1 show
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1977 [34] Elvis Presley is found dead, lying on the floor of a bathroom in his Memphis TN Graceland mansion at age 42 after suffering cardiac arrhythmia
1985 [26] Madonna marries actor Sean Penn in Malibu CA (she wears a leather teddy; he wears boxing gloves)
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1984 [27] Janet Harris sets a world record in Selsey, England by eating 7,175 green peas in an hour … one at a time … using chopsticks
COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Thrift Shop Day
[Wed] Archeology Day
[Thurs] Bad Poetry Day
[Thurs] Birth Control Pill Day
[Thurs] Cupcake Day
This Week Is … Reduce the Clutter Week
This Month Is … Panini Month
BULL’S BITS
YOU KNOW YOU’RE A CHILD OF THE ‘90s IF …
• You know who Leonardo, Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello are.
• You religiously watched “90210”, “Melrose Place”, “Party of Five”, or “My So-Called Life”.
• You ‘tight-rolled’ your jeans, wore big hoop earrings, or owned a pair of High-Tops, Keds, or Air Jordans. If you’re a guy, you had your hair shaved underneath and parted down the middle.
• You know how to do dances called the ‘MC Hammer’, the ‘Roger Rabbit’, and the ‘running man’; and you ‘busted a move’ while C&C Music Factory was playing.
• Your bangs were at least 4 inches high, and you thought it looked good.
• You had a black Debbie Gibson hat, wore 2 pairs of neon-colored socks, and overalls with only one side connected.
• You had a ‘boom box’, or your stereo was a weird color like pink.
• You owned a ‘Teddy Ruxpin’ talking bear and thought it was a state-of-the-art robot.
• You constantly said ‘SIKE!’ or ‘WAY!’
– Antionline.com
BS RANDOM JOKE:
It’s not how much an item costs that matters, it’s how much you save.
BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
• The bulletproof vest, fire escape, laser printer, and windshield wiper were all invented by which?
a. Women. [CORRECT]
b. Teens.
c. Sales Reps.
• According to zoologists, when deer play tag (which they do often) they tag each other with what?
a. Nose.
b. Hoof. [CORRECT]
c. Tail.
– Halife.com
BS PHONE STARTER:
What ‘safe’ words and expressions do you use as replacements in situations where full-out swearing would be unacceptable? (A few primers: baloney!, flippin’, freakin’, gosh-darn, hokey crow, jeepers!, mofo, mother of pearl!, oh poo, son of a gun.)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Only about half of households still have one of these.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: An answering machine.
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A library is a hospital for the mind.
