Wednesday, August 16, 2017 – Edition: #6035

Tomorrow’s Show Prep Today!

★ Oprah Winfrey has no desire to ever be Mrs. Stedman Graham. In the September issue of Vogue magazine, Oprah recalls the one time she and Stedman — her boyfriend of 31 years — discussed tying the knot. According to her, the only time she brought it up was when she said to him, “What would have happened if we had actually gotten married?” Stedman’s answer?  “We wouldn’t be together.”  Oprah says that “marriage requires a different way of being in this world.”
(And in Oprah’s case, one heckuva pre-nup!!)
★ A stunt woman has died following a motorcycle accident on the set of ‘Deadpool 2′ in  Vancouver. Witnesses say the woman was filming a stunt when she lost control of her bike, jumped a curb and crashed through the window of a building.  She was treated by ambulance personnel but died at the scene.  The woman, whose name was not released, was an experienced racer, who was doing her first film as a stunt performer.  Sources say she was not wearing a helmet because the character she was portraying did not wear one in the scene. Production was shut down immediately.
-Jam.Canoe, CBC
★ Leonardo Dicaprio is set to star as his namesake.  Dicaprio has landed the role of legendary painter Leonardo Da Vinci, who his mother named him after. Leo will also be on board as a producer for the book-to-screen adaptation.  Da Vinci is known for creating masterpieces such as the ‘Mona Lisa’ and ‘The Last Supper’.
(Ever notice no one ever refers to Da Vinci as ‘Leo’?)
★ Jennifer Aniston doesn’t use social media for the sake of her ‘sanity’.  Aniston believes some people spend so much time with screens that they miss out on looking after themselves properly and also looking at the world around them. According to her: ”Any hardworking job that demands a lot of your time, whether you’re running a corporation or you’re an actor or a mom full-time, 24-7, it’s all about trying to find the balance and the time to refuel and recharge.”
(Come, Jen.  Come to the dark side!)
★ Orlando Bloom and Katy Perry were spotted getting pretty close at Ed Sheeran’s concert in Los Angeles on Saturday night. The pair’s reps announced in February that the two were taking “respectful, loving space” after nearly a year together, but Saturday’s concert wasn’t the first time they’ve reunited.  Bloom and his possible on-again girlfriend covered up in jackets and baseball caps during the show, but that didn’t stop fans from recognizing the pair as they cuddled and canoodled throughout the show.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zach Galifianakis, Lake Bell, Midland
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Katie Holmes, Marc Maron, Shania Twain
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Ellie Kemper, Andrew Dice Clay, Peter Serafinowicz
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Bob Odenkirk, Florida Georgia Line, Roy Mayorga
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Harry Connick Jr., Willem Dafoe, Daniel Caesar
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Jay Chandrasekhar, the Frights, Randy Liedtke ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Pre-empted
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Carl Reiner, James Van Der Beek, Dan St. Germain
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Carole Radziwill, Tinsley Mortimer ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Eric Stonestreet, Audra McDonald ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Wayne Brady ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Salma Hayek, Ben Platt
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Matt Lauer ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Bryshere Gray, Elijah Kelley, Luke James ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Kristin Chenoweth, Rutina Wesley ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Wyclef Jean, guest co-host Joseline Hernandez ( R )
• “CMA Fest 2017” (ABC): Performances by Blake Shelton, Brad Paisley, Brett Eldredge, Brett Young, Darius Rucker, Luke Bryan, Miranda Lambert, Keith Urban and many more. Hosted by Thomas Rhett and Kelsea Ballerini.
• “Big Brother” (CBS): House guests vie for the power of veto.
• ” America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Live Results 1” Seven acts advance to the semifinal round; Grace VanderWaal, the Season 11 winner, performs.

• Taylor Swift – A verdict has been reached after six days in court in the Taylor Swift groping trial. A jury ruled that former radio host David Mueller assaulted and battered Swift at a meet-and-greet photo session in June 2013. Swift has been awarded $1.

• Justin Bieber – sent a direct message to a Georgia gym’s Instagram page asking about a girl he saw in an Instagram video.  The video was of front desk employee Jessica Gober, who was promoting an energy drink on sale at the gym.  But alas, she has a boyfriend.

• 30 Seconds To Mars – will release a new single, ‘Walk on Water’ on August 22.  It will be their first piece of new music in four years.

• Beck – has revealed that the title of his new album is ‘Colors’.  It comes out in October.

• Prince – his estate and Pantone, the industry standard for all things relating to color, have announced a shade of purple in honor of his purpleness.  ‘Love Symbol #2′ was named after the iconic symbol Prince used as an emblem.

• Eagles – have lined up four more dates for the fall following positive reaction to their appearances at the Classic West and Classic East festivals in July, which were the band’s first performances since Frey’s January 2016 death.  Vince Gill and the late Glenn Frey’s son Deacon will also be on hand at the upcoming shows, which include:  Oct. 17: Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 20: Atlanta, Oct. 24: Louisville and Oct. 27: Detroit.

• Gregg Allman – There will be a series of special events celebrating ‘Southern Blood’, his final solo album. Billed as ‘Southern Blood: Celebrating Gregg Allman’, the first event will be in Los Angeles Sept. 7 at The GRAMMY Museum’s Clive Davis Theater.

• Willie Nelson – blames Utah’s high altitude for forcing him to cut a performance near Salt Lake City short. He apologized in a statement posted to his Twitter and Facebook accounts. The 84-year-old country music legend explained: “The altitude got to me. I am feeling better now and headed for lower ground.” (And history will show that this is the first time Willie had a problem with being ‘high’!)

• Shania Twain  – will star in the upcoming movie ‘Trading Paint’ opposite John Travolta. She will play a character named Becca in the film, which is set for a June 2018 release.

• Dustin Lynch – has released an emotional new ballad titled ‘Love Me or Leave Me.’ The song, which is about trying to figure out your role in a relationship, features vocals from Karen Fairchild of Little Big Town.

Dirtbags, rejoice!  Scientists have confirmed that showering every day can seriously screw with your skin and overall health.  Here is how showering every day can mess with you:
❑ It can give you acne: A microbiome is a collection of bacteria and other microbes that live in and on the human body.  It is basically like your skin’s ecosystem, and disruptions to it (like showering every day) can be damaging to your skin and even cause breakouts. (I think they just made that word up!)
❑ It dries out your skin:  If you shower every day, you’re using soaps and exfoliants that can leave your skin feeling and looking dry. That’s because when the water evaporates from your body, it strips away a lot of the moisture.  (If it dries out my skin, how can it cause acne too?)
❑ It messes with your hair:  Showering every day rids your skin of the natural oils it needs to stay moisturized.  It might seem like you need to do it, especially if you have oily hair. But your hair might be oily BECAUSE you shower every day.  When you wash your hair too much, your scalp goes into oil production overload, producing more to make up for the amount you are washing away with every shower.  If you go a few weeks with extra oily hair, your body will equalize, and pretty soon, your hair will thank you for your sacrifice.  (And your spouse will thank you when you finally DO wash it!)
❑ It can ruin your manicure:  When you shower in hot water, your nails expand, causing your freshly polished nails to crack.  If you want to preserve that pretty pink manicure, consider cutting down on your shower time.
❑ You won’t smell as bad as you think: There’s good bacteria and bad bacteria, and getting rid of ALL the bacteria by constantly showering really screws with your body’s balance.  But you might notice you do have a bit of an ‘essence’ for the first while after you stop showering every day (or more accurately, others might!)
(This message brought to you by the union of hotel, motel and airb&b owners!)
(I am proud to say I only shower twice a week…by popular demand!)
(Please note: if you play hockey, disregard everything I’ve just said!)

Bill Burr is the guy to blame…and he’s sorry.  He is the person who came up with the concept of the ‘secure’ password for online applications.  So every time you are forced to come up with a new password containing upper and lower cases, one symbol, 2 numbers, an alt-F9, 3 punctuation marks and an honest attempt at the hokey pokey, remember Bill Burr.  Every time you forget a complicated password that you really need RIGHT NOW, or whenever you need to update an expired password, but you can’t use the one you want to because you’ve used that one too recently, remember Bill Burr.  Well, Bill apologizes.  Now 72 and retired from the National Institute of Standards and Technology, Burr has gone on record saying he regrets ‘much of what I did’, 14 years ago when he helped invent elaborate passwords which require all those bells and whistles.  He believes they are “not sufficiently justifiable” and that if you haven’t been hacked by now, it is probably safe to keep using the same password.  Furthermore, possibly because his name is now out there as the guy to blame for coming up with all those password requirements, he also points out that he didn’t mean to “drive people crazy”.
-TheVerge, TorontoStar
(“Safe to keep using the same passwords”.  Hear that, I.T. department?)
(HE regrets those passwords?  I regret them too!)
(Wouldn’t you like to know what HE uses as a password?)

No matter what your feeling is on tattoos, this is probably not going to be something you are going to be big on: Ugly tattoos.  Yet somehow they are becoming a thing.  INTENTIONALLY ugly tattoos.  You might be surprised to learn that people are getting ‘ugly ink’ from Brazilian tattoo artist Helena Fernandes. Fernandes specializes in what she calls ‘tatuagens peba’ or ‘trash tattoos’ — cute doodles and cartoons that you’d expect to find in a school kid’s notebook, not a tattoo parlour. But her unconventional designs have struck a chord with the inked community.  Her Instagram fanbase is 16,000-strong and growing!
(Well, they aren’t just coming from her.  I’ve seen some around here.  Oh.  Those might not be intentional!)
(Newsflash: Ugly tattoos were around a looooong time before she set up shop!)


1953 [64] Kathie Lee Gifford, Paris, France, TV personality (“Today” since 2008; “Live With Regis & Kathie Lee” 1988-2000)/sometime movie actress (“Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!”)

1954 [63] James Cameron, Kapuskasing ON, movie director-producer-writer (all-time box office champs “Avatar” $2.78 billion; and “Titanic” $2.19 billion) COMING UP…Alita: Battle Angel, July 2018, 4 Avatar sequels….sometime…

1958 [59] Madonna (Ciccone), Bay City MI, pop singer (“Like a Virgin”, “Papa Don’t Preach”)/sometime film actress (“Evita”).

1958 [59] Angela Bassett, NYC, movie actress (“What’s Love Got to do With it”, “Olympus Has Fallen”)/TV actress “American Horror Story” since 2013)/movie director (“Whitney”) COMING UP….Black Panther, February 2018

1962 [55] Steve Carell, Concord MA, movie actor (“Despicable Me” movies, “The 40 Year Old Virgin”)/TV actor (“The Office” 2005-11) COMING UP…Battle of the Sexes, November 2017

1972 [45] Emily Robison (Erwin), Pittsfield MA, country singer (Court Yard Hounds-”The Coast”; Dixie Chicks-“Wide Open Spaces”)

1980 [37] Vanessa Carlton, Milford PA, pop singer (“A Thousand Miles”, “Ordinary Day”)

1987 [30] Dan Smyers, Wexford PA, country singer (Dan + Shay-“From the Ground Up”, “Nothin’ Like You”)

1988 [29] Rumer Willis, Paducah, KY, movie actress (“House Bunny”), TV actress (“90210” 2009-2010, “Empire” 2017), season 20 winner of Dancing with the Stars.

• “Bratwurst Day”, celebrating the spiced sausage usually enjoyed on a roll with mustard, or by itself with a side of sauerkraut. The term ‘bratwurst’ is a compound of 2 German words – ‘braten’, meaning ‘fried’; and ‘wurst’, which means ‘sausage’.

• “Roller Coaster Day”, celebrating every amusement park’s fast-track to fun. The idea for the roller coaster was first patented by LaMarcus Adna Thompson on this date in 1885.

• “Tell a Joke Day”, an excuse to fill your workday with chuckles and laughs … and the occasional groan.

• “Rum Day”, a distilled clear alcoholic beverage which is a byproduct of molasses production or made directly from sugar cane juice…also a day that gives you an excuse to say “Yo-ho-ho, and a bottle of rum!”

• “Airborne Day”,  a day designated by the United States Congress to honor the airborne division of the Armed Forces…NOT a day to celebrate those who are bad at lighting BBQs!

[Thurs] #2 Pencil Day
[Thurs] Thrift Shop Day
[Thurs] Black Cat Appreciation Day
[Fri] Mail Order Catalog Day
[Fri] Fajita Day
[Fri] Bad Poetry Day

1983 [34] Singer Paul Simon marries “Star Wars” actress Carrie Fisher in NYC (lasts 2 years)

1985 [32] Madonna weds actor Sean Penn on her 27th birthday

1977 [40] Elvis Presley dies at Graceland at 42. Official cause of death is cardiac arrhythmia

2002 [15] 25 years to the day after the death of Elvis Presley, an album containing 30 of his #1 hits is released with “A Little Less Conversation” as a bonus track (a remixed version goes on to hit #1)

2005 [12] P Diddy (Sean Combs) appears on the “Today Show” (NBC) and announces he’s altering his stage name (again) by referring to himself simply as ‘Diddy’. (He may now go by the name ‘Sean “Diddy” Combs’, but we’re not sure)

2010 [07] China overtakes Japan as the world’s 2nd-biggest economy (after USA … for now)

2008 [09] The Trump International Hotel & Tower in Chicago IL is topped off at 1,389 feet (423 m), at the time making it the world’s highest residence above ground-level


• During your lifetime, you will produce enough saliva to fill two swimming pools.
• The chance of you dying on the way to get lottery tickets is actually greater than your chance of winning.
• The average person spends six months of their lifetime waiting for a red light to turn green.
• Movie theater popcorn costs more per ounce than Filet Mignon.
• Most toilets flush in E flat.
• The word “gorilla” is derived from a Greek word meaning, “A tribe of hairy women.”

✓ Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.
✓ Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.
✓ Men are all the same – they just have different faces so that you
can tell them apart.
✓ Best way to get a man to do something – suggest they are too old for it.
✓ Love is blind – but marriage is a real eye-opener.
✓ The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years.
Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.
✓ Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it
means that you laugh at his.
✓ Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to
make some woman miserable.
✓ Women don’t make fools of men – most of them are the do-it-yourself
✓ Sadly, all men are created equal.

I used to have a problem with grammatical tenses — but not yet.

Who is the all-time top-ranked box-office star in U.S. domestic ticket sales?
a. Tom Cruise.
b. Johnny Depp
c. Samuel L. Jackson. [CORRECT…almost $5 billion total]

☎ If a mysterious benefactor wrote you a check for $5,000 and said, “Use it to solve a problem”. What would you do with the cash?

Question: People taking selfies is the number one pet peeve at the gym. What’s number two?
Answer: Naked people talking to you in the locker room

Maybe it won’t work out.  But maybe seeing if it does will be the best adventure ever.

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