BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Tonight the musical spoof stage production “Full House: The Musical Parody!” opens in Toronto ON. Perez Hilton stars in the show, which moves to NYC beginning September 7th. The production arrives just as nostalgia over the 1987-95 ABC-TV series hits its peak, with a behind-the-scenes Lifetime movie, “The Unauthorized Full House Story”, premiering this Saturday and a Netflix sequel series, “Fuller House”, now shooting. The plotline of the musical centers on ‘Danny Tanner’ and his rapid decline into madness.
– Variety.com
★ The action comedy film franchise “RED” (stands for ‘Retired Extremely Dangerous’) is being developed as a series for NBC-TV. The screenwriters behind the 2010 movie and its 2013 sequel are already working on the TV adaptation. The films starred an ensemble cast that included Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Mary-Louise Parker, and Morgan Freeman as former CIA operatives called back into action. The original film grossed nearly $200 million in worldwide box office; the followup brought in $148 million. “RED” is inspired by the comic book series of the same name.
– WENN.com
★ 33-year-old actor Rupert Friend says he shot himself in the head while filming the action movie “Hitman: Agent 47”. Seems he accidentally fired a blank which bounced up off the floor into his face and cut his head open. Amazingly, he didn’t require stitches to close the wound. Quote: “You fire blanks, but the guns eject real brass, hot cartridges. They’re like 400 degrees.” The “Homeland” actor’s mishap proved to appear so real on film, it’s been incorporated into the final edit of the movie. “Hitman: Agent 47” opens in movie theaters this Friday.
– Bang Showbiz
★ And Ben Affleck’s former nanny Christine Ouzounian reportedly wants a crack at reality TV. The 28-year-old, who’s been romantically linked to the 43-year-old actor-director following the breakdown of his marriage to actress Jennifer Garner, is said to be trying to make the most of her new-found fame to build a showbiz career. An insider says she’s looking for an agent and wants a TV deal on something like “The Bachelorette”. It’s also said she’s willing to do a tell-all about Affleck, whose private life has been the source of much recent speculation.
– “New York Post”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 12 acts perform at NYC’s Radio City Music Hall.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Garth Brooks (“Man Against Machine”). Rerun.
• “The Hotwives of Las Vegas” (Hulu) – Premiere of a new unscripted show about a batch of real women clawing their way through social life in Sin City.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Kelly Clarkson (“Piece By Piece”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Mimicking Birds (“Eons”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Morrissey (“World Peace Is None of Your Business”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Chris Stapleton (“Traveller”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – R5 (“Louder”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Ashanti (“BraveHeart”). Rerun.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Jennifer Hudson (“JHUD”); Madden Brothers (“Greetings From California”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Sam Hunt (“Montevallo”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Jennifer Lopez – The 46-year-old tells “Billboard” her upcoming Las Vegas residency will be ”glamorous and beautiful”, promising her fans she’ll deliver a never-to-be-forgotten show. Her residency on the Axis theater stage in Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino begins in January.
• Jimi Hendrix – The late rocker’s siblings, Janie and Leon, have finally reached an out-of-court settlement regarding merchandising rights to his image and name. The court battle has been waging since 2009. Jimi Hendrix died without a will in 1970.
• Luke Bryan – “Kill the Lights” has had the largest sales week for any country album since his last studio release, “Crash My Party”, in August 2013. “Kill The Lights” debuts at #1 on the all-genre ‘Billboard 200’ chart, giving Bryan his third #1 album.
• Rihanna – She & British Formula One racing driver Lewis Hamilton have been spotted out again, this time at a NYC nightclub. They also attended the annual Crop Over carnival in Barbados recently, fueling speculation they may be developing a relationship.

THIS WEEK’S VIDEO RELEASES:
Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “Bottoms Up” ( NR Documentary ): Examines the newest trend in aesthetic surgery … big butts. With an influx of new ‘it’ girls, from Kim Kardashian to Nicki Minaj, women have been taking drastic – and often dangerous – measures to achieve the impossible and often unreal.
• “It Happened Here” ( NR Documentary ): Explores the alarming pervasiveness of sexual assault on college campuses, the impact on students, their families and institutions, and the burgeoning movement of student survivors coming forth to take action.
• “Lambert & Stamp” ( R-Rated Biography ): A documentary that reveals how the unlikely partnership between aspiring filmmakers Chris Stamp and Kit Lambert produced one of the greatest rock bands in history: The Who. The movie-making twosome ultimately became co-managers of the band. And they handled Jimi Hendrix for a while too.
• “Little Boy” ( PG-13 Dramedy ): An 8-year-old boy is willing to do whatever it takes to end World War II so he can bring his father home. The story reveals the indescribable love a father has for his little boy and the love a son has for his father. Stars Jakob Salvati, Emily Watson, David Henrie, Michael Rapaport.
• Also released today: “The Blacklist: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); “Knifed Up: The Evolution of Cosmetic Surgery” (Documentary); “Mike & Molly: The Complete 5th Season” (TV); “Rookie Blue: Season 5” (TV); “The Royals: The Complete 1st Season” (TV); “The Secret Life of Marilyn Monroe” (Lifetime TV Movie); and “Welcome Back, Kotter: The Final Season 1978-79 (Vintage TV).

ETIQUETTE RULES YOU’RE PROBABLY BREAKING:
Expert Joy Weaver, author of “How to Be Socially Savvy in All Situations”, points out some of our most common blunders when it comes to manners …
• Coughing Into Your Right Hand – That’s your ‘social hand’, reserved for for shaking hands, etc. Your left hand is your ‘personal hand’ for coughing, scratching, sneezing, et al.
• Calling a Handbag a ‘Purse’ – A purse is something that is relatively inexpensive, reserved for any clutch, tote, satchel, etc that costs less than $100. A handbag is more expensive.
• Sitting Down Incorrectly – To avoid collisions at the dinner table, always approach your chair from the left-hand side and exit on the right.
• Announcing Your Intentions – If you need to use the restroom during a meal, never be specific about your reason for leaving the table. Just say “Excuse me” and step away.
• Passing Salt Without Pepper – Salt-and-pepper shakers should never be separated. Even if one diner asks only for salt, the person next to them may want both, so they should be kept together. And remember, always pass to the right.
• Applauding Incorrectly – The correct way to applaud is just slightly to your left, about chest height. You never want to clap in front of your own face or someone else’s.
• Climbing Into a Car Wrong – When entering a vehicle, first sit down, then swing your legs in. That’s the classy method and it prevents skirt-wearing ladies from accidentally flashing.
• Pointing at Someone – You can point at something but never at someone. If you must point across the room at a partner or companion, be sure to use an open hand to gesture.
• Using a Revolving Door Improperly – When escorting someone it’s polite to enter first. You never want your client or date to have to push while you’re behind them getting a free ride.
– Adapted from “Mental Floss”

GONE TO POT:
Marijuana isn’t as bad as some people think, according to a new review of studies. That blunt talk comes from a groundbreaking new report from the Toronto-based International Centre for Science in Drug Policy. An international team of researchers has studied 13 claims made about cannabis use and regulation, then gone back to the original studies to either validate or refute the claims. Among the conclusions: Pot is nowhere nearly as addictive as heroin; it is not a gateway drug; and regulation does not lead to an increase in availability, users, drug crime, drug tourism, or an industry that prioritizes profits over public health. (Anyone saying otherwise is just … blowing smoke.)
– @NYDailyNews.com

BODY LANGUAGE OF LIARS:
According to body-language expert Jan Hargrave, author of “Let Me See Your Body Talk”, here are some ways you can tell if a guy is lying to you …
• Bites his lower lip.
• Crosses extremities.
• Rubs his eye.
• Tugs his ear.
(And how about … ‘opens his mouth’?)
– Sourced from Cosmopolitan.com

DID YOU KNOW?
Labeling an idea a ‘conspiracy theory’ does not make people any less likely to believe it.
– “New York Magazine”

BS CHRONOMETER 08.18.15

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1936 [79] Robert Redford, Santa Monica CA, movie director (“A River Runs Through It”)/movie actor (“The Horse Whisperer”)/”Sundance Film Festival” founder (1978)

1957 [58] Denis Leary, Worcester MA, TV actor (‘Johnny Rock’ on “Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll” 2015, “Rescue Me” 2004-11)/movie actor (“Ice Age” films)

1969 [46] Christian Slater, NYC, TV actor (“Breaking In” 2011-12)/movie actor (“3,000 Miles to Graceland”)

1969 [46] Edward Norton, Columbia MD, movie actor (“The Grand Budapest Hotel”, “Birdman”)

1977 [38] Régine Chassagne, St-Lambert, Québec, rock musician (Arcade Fire-“Reflektor”, “Keep the Car Running”)/married to group co-founder Win Butler

1978 [37] Andy Samberg, Berkeley CA, TV actor (‘Jake Peralta’ on “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” since 2013)/comedian (“Saturday Night Live” 2005-12)/movie actor (“Hotel Transylvania” films)

1992 [23] Frances Bean Cobain, LA CA, late Nirvana icon Kurt Cobain’s daughter and heir (estimated worth: $170 million)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bad Poetry Day”, a day to compose some really rotten rhyme as revenge against all that ‘good poetry’ you were forced to study in school.

• “Long Tan Day” in Australia. Nope, nothing to do with lying about in the sun; it’s named after the Battle of Long Tan during the Vietnam War (aka ‘Australian Vietnam Veterans’ Day’).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2014 [01] Longtime TV announcer Don Pardo (“The Price Is Right”, “Jeopardy!”, “Saturday Night Live”) dies at age 96 in Tucson AZ (his career at NBC-TV spanned 70 years)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1979 [36] At the height of the disco era, Chic’s “Good Times” hits #1 on pop charts

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1922 [93] 1st ‘Caesar Salad’ is concocted in Tijuana, Mexico (named for Caesar’s Restaurant)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2011 [04] Gold hits a record price of $1,826 per ounce (currently valued circa $1,117)

COMING UP . . .
[Wed] Aviation Day
[Wed] World Humanitarian Day
[Thurs] Radio Day
[Fri] “American Ultra”; “Hitman: Agent 47”; “Sinister 2” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Canadian National Exhibition begins (Toronto ON)
[Fri] Texas Thunder festival opens (Gardendale TX)
[Fri] Musicfest NW begins (Portland OR)
This Week Is … Minority Enterprise Development Week
This Month Is … Boomers Making a Difference Month

BULL’S BITS

BS HORRIBLESCOPES:
Use ’em all at once or one-at-a-time as the zodiac reading of the day …
• Aries – You will finally be reunited with your family when a sudden mudslide exposes their long-buried station wagon.
• Taurus – This just might be the month when you stop listening to vague advice and trusting to fate. Remember to keep checking your horoscope to make sure.
• Gemini – The stars suggest that you will have a torrid romance with a stranger this week … or be hit by a train. Prepare for either.
• Cancer – You’ll be roundly condemned by members of the Academy of Country Music when, despite their specific instructions, you let your babies grow up to be cowboys.
• Leo – This is a good time to make big moves at work, as you’ll show up Thursday to find all the furniture’s gone and everyone has relocated to a new office somewhere else.
• Virgo – Mercury in retrograde in your sign is a signal that you’re about to be run over by some old guy backing up his gas-guzzling 1978 Mercury.
• Libra – You’ll soon move to a faraway city where nobody knows who you are, which makes it kind of odd that they’re all trying to kill you too.
• Scorpio – You thought a life of safari adventures, epic cookouts, and jungle cats awaited you, but it turns out the local diner was NOT in fact advertising for a ‘lion cook’.
• Sagittarius – This sign of the Zodiac will be phased out next week and its duties subsumed by other signs. During this time of change, please be ready to pack up your things and leave.
• Capricorn – While the pursuit of true love is admirable, be aware that the girl at the coffee shop will melt the eyes out of your head with a well-aimed pot of French Roast Sumatran if you don’t stop bothering her.
• Aquarius – Just as you’re coming to terms with the challenges and rewards of living alone, you’ll begin to suspect someone else is still alive out there in the radioactive rubble.
• Pisces – Take heart, old solutions can still work for old problems. Especially if getting drunk is your solution to everything.
– Adapted from TheOnion.com

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:
What is inventor Don Wetzel’s claim to fame?
a. He invented Pringles chips.
b. He invented the computer keyboard wrist rest.
c. He invented the ATM machine. [CORRECT]
– “Trivia Quest”

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What’s the absolute worst Summer job you ever had?

BS PREPOSTEROUS PRODUCTS:
Some of these are actual new products on the market. Others are totally made-up BS. Have a contestant try to determine which are which …
• Bacon-Flavored Toothpaste [REAL]
• Underpants for Squirrels [REAL]
• The Inflatable Dart Board [BS]
• The Left-Handed Coffee Mug [REAL]
• Fake Tofu … looks like the real thing but is made of meat. [BS]
• The Solar-Powered Flashlight [BS]
• Welcome mat inscribed with the message ‘Nice Underwear’ [REAL]
• Glow-in-the-Dark Sunglasses [BS]
• ‘Subtle Butt’ Fart Deodorizer Pads [REAL]
• Powdered Water [BS]

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I think the real trouble with the world is that everybody else is 3 drinks behind.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: According to a survey, THIS is the #1 thing that causes stress on a vacation.
Answer: Overspending.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Only the mediocre are always at their best.