Tuesday, August 19, 2014        Edition: #5287

If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!

★ Actor Kevin Spacey has joined Hillary Clinton to shoot a hilarious new video to celebrate former US president Bill Clinton’s birthday. The actor, in character as his ruthless “House of Cards” politician ‘Frank Underwood’, crank-calls Hillary pretending to be Bill, asking her if he can have an elephant for his birthday. He goes on to suggest names for their daughter Chelsea’s expected baby, offering up ‘Frank’ if it’s a boy and ‘Claire’ if it’s a girl (Robin Wright plays ‘Underwood’s scheming wife ‘Claire’ on “House of Cards”). Bill Clinton is turning 68 today (see Today’s Celebirthdays). See the video here …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ntujeda
– WENN.com
★ From “Dancing With the Stars” to a starring role on a TV show: Derek Hough is set to play a movie star on the next season of “Nashville”. In his first major acting gig, he’s lined up the role of ‘Noah West’, an actor who is cast in a biopic about a famous country star, which brings him to Nashville TN and into the path of the ABC-TV show’s cast. Hough will appear in multiple episodes during the upcoming 3rd season, which debuts September 24th. In addition to his new acting duties, he’s returning to partner up with a new star on Season 19 of “Dancing With the Stars” (premiering September 15th).
– TheWrap.com
★ And 29-year-old Lindsay Lohan has confirmed reports she’s planning to write a memoir, but insists it won’t be as racy as some have suggested. The pseudo-actress, who is preparing to hit the London stage in “Speed-The-Plow”, says her memoir will contain ‘a lot of photos and cool stuff’ and will probably be released as a trilogy. But she warns fans who are hoping she’ll reveal all about her sex encounters with celebrities that they will be disappointed. Quote: “I would never write to violate someone else or objectify them; that’s not my intention.” (Huh? Clearly she’s as good a writer as she is an actress.)
– ContactMusic.com

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 12 more acts perform for the judges.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Tove Lo (“Truth Serum”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Mighty Mighty Bosstones (“The Magic of Youth”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Sirah (“Broken Complex”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Robby Johnson (“South Of Me”).
• “Marilyn Denis Show” (CTV/CTV2) – Sarah McLachlan (“Shine On”).
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Classic rocker David Crosby (CSN&Y). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – The Madden Bros (“Greetings from California”, out September 16th).

• Christina Aguilera – She & fiancé Matt Rutler welcomed a baby girl on Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles. No word on a name yet. The baby is her 2nd; she has a 6-year-old son, Max, from her first marriage to Jordan Bratman. A heavily pregnant (and nude) Xtina is the cover girl for the latest issue of “V” magazine.
• 50 Cent – His SMS Audio company, in partnership with Intel, has developed BioSport In-Ear Headphones that monitor the users’ heart-rate. Wearers are then given tailored advice to boost fitness or weight-loss. Pricing and release dates have not been announced.
• Gaslight Anthem – Today the New Jersey rockers release their new album “Get Hurt”. They’ll tour in support, beginning September 10th in Washington DC. Against Me! and Jimmy Eat World open many of the tour dates.
• K Michelle – Today a theatrical film inspired by 8 songs from her latest album, “Rebellious Soul”, screens on VH1. “K Michelle: Rebellious Soul – The Musical” is directed by actor Idris Elba. The film, described as a dark, cautionary tale, will then be available on video tomorrow.
• Katy Perry – One of the biggest problems with being able to post videos straight to the Internet is that, sometimes, they can be cringe-inducing. Case in point, Perry recently posted to Instagram a video of someone shoving a needle through her nostril for a nose piercing.
• Kiesza – Today the Calgary AB native (nee Kiesa Rae Ellestad) releases her 1st EP, the 4-track project “Hideaway”, a blend of fizzy electro-pop and classic disco. She’s already performed the title track “Hideaway” on Letterman, Kimmel, and elsewhere on TV.
• Nico & Vinz – The Norwegian duo has held onto their #1 spot in Britain. “Am I Wrong” is atop the Official Singles Chart for the 2nd week running.
• Randy Travis – Today the veteran country singer, who had a major health scare in 2012, is out with “Influence Vol 2: The Man I Am”. It’s a follow-up compilation album to 2013’s “Vol 1”.
• Rita Ora – Today DKNY unveils its new ‘MYNY’ fragrance at a big party featuring Ora in NYC’s Madison Square Park. What’s the new scent of the Big Apple? For Donna Karan, it’s vanilla, musk, raspberry, Egyptian jasmine, and a bit of patchouli.
• Wiz Khalifa – His long-awaited new album “Blacc Hollywood” is out today. He’s celebrating his 3rd disc by headlining the “Under the Influence of Music Tour”, which plays Red Rocks Amphitheatre in suburban Denver CO tonight. Also on the bill: Jeezy and Ty Dolla $ign.

Out today on DVD, Netflix, Google Play and/or other video providers …
• “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” ( PG-13 Adventure Fantasy ): This 2nd chapter of the rebooted franchise has ‘Peter Parker’ facing off against a slew of super-villains pitted against him by the mysterious company ‘Oscorp’. Co-stars Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Paul Giamatti. Sony Pictures has already given the greenlight to 2 additional sequels and a couple spin-off films.
• “Only Lovers Left Alive” ( R-Rated Horror Romance ): Jim Jarmusch’s tale of 2 fragile and sensitive vampires named ‘Adam’ (Tom Hiddleston) and ‘Eve’ (Tilda Swinton), whose love story has endured several centuries … until Eve’s carefree little sister ‘Ava’ (Mia Wasikowska) arrives on the scene. Set in Detroit MI and Tangier, Morocco.
• “The Quiet Ones” ( PG-13 Horror ): A university professor and a team of his students conduct an experiment on a young woman and in the process uncover terrifyingly dark, unexpected forces. Said to be inspired by actual events. Stars Jared Harris, Sam Claflin, Olivia Cooke, Erin Richards. Shot on location in Oxford, England.
• “Rosemary’s Baby” ( NR Horror Drama ): A made-for-TV take on Ira Levin’s classic psychological horror novel about a woman who becomes mysteriously pregnant and develops paranoia over the safety of her unborn child. The original 1968 Roman Polanski film made Mia Farrow a star. This 4-hour miniseries stars Zoe Saldana, Jason Isaacs, and Patrick J Adams.
• Also released today: “The Good Wife: The 5th Season” (TV); “The Millers: The 1st Season” (TV); “The Mindy Project: Season 2” (TV); “NCIS: The 11th Season” (TV); “NCIS: Los Angeles – The 5th Season” (TV); “Once Upon a Time: The Complete 3rd Season” (TV); “Parenthood: Season 5” (TV); “Parks & Recreation: Season 6” (TV); “Revolution: The Complete 2nd Season” (TV); and “Secrets Of the Dead: The Mona Lisa Mystery” (Documentary).

No stranger to the onslaught of Friday night booty calls? You might be surprised to learn that most sexting actually occurs on Tuesdays between 10 am and noon, at least according to a new survey. The poll was conducted by Retina-X Studios, a company that develops tracking tools for computers, smartphones, tablets, and networks. Besides determining the golden hour for sexting, the poll of 4,800 people also reveals that iPhone users sext almost twice as frequently as Android users. That’s surprising, given Android users’ apparent affinity for nude pics. We wonder how Tuesday morning became prime time for sexting fiends. Maybe it’s the point when people have given up on getting anything accomplished for the week? Or maybe Tuesday morning is when it becomes socially acceptable to text last Saturday’s hot date? (“Baby, what are you wearing at 11 am on this fine Tuesday …”)
– BetaBeat.com

We’ve all wondered what it’s like to die. Now there’s a game that claims it can fulfill our curiosity, without actually killing us. “Samadhi – 4D Experience of Death”, uses dramatic special effects to bring players close to what its creators imagine is a death experience. When it opens in Shanghai, it will invite participants to compete in a series of challenges to avoid ‘dying’. Losers get cremated – or are at least are made to lie on a conveyor belt that transports them through a fake funeral home incinerator to simulate it. The faux cremation uses hot air and light projections to create what the organizers call ‘an authentic experience of burning’. “Samadhi – 4D Experience of Death” will be completed at the end of August and is scheduled to open in September. Sessions will be conducted in Chinese. Tickets cost the equivalent of about $40. (It’s an experience people are dying to have.)
– CNN.com

Could this new research be the key to finding a cure for baldness? A twice-a-day pill that can cure baldness caused by alopecia has been developed by scientists at NYC’s Columbia University Medical Center. In experiments, it has enabled 3 patients to grow back a full head of hair within the space of just 5 months. Alopecia affects up to 1-in-1,000 people, mostly aged 15-to-29. It’s believed to be caused by the immune system destroying hair follicles. Researchers now plan to carry out further tests in the hope that the new pill will eventually become the standard treatment for the condition. Be forewarned, guys – this is NOT a cure for common male pattern baldness. (The treatment for that condition remains to be … shaving the head.)
– DailyMail.co.uk

The age-old problem of spreading butter straight from the fridge has finally been solved, thanks to a nifty new kitchen gadget. The revolutionary ‘Butter Up’ device looks like a normal cutlery knife but has been made with 21 triangular holes down the blade that ‘grate’ the butter into tiny strips that are easier to spread, so that sandwich fans can finally avoid tearing holes in their bread. The other side of the knife has a serrated edge so that it can be used to cut a sandwich or toast in half, or to get rid of the crusts. The stainless steel gadget is the brainchild of a trio of friends in Sydney, Australia. It’s still in development but is likely to sell for about $10 when it eventually comes to market. (Or for free … microwave your butter on ‘defrost’ for 15 seconds.)
– Kickstarter.com

London has outstripped Tokyo and NYC as the ‘Millionaire Capital of the World’. 1-in-every-35 Londoners is now a dollar-millionaire, a total of 400,000 people.
– “The Guardian”


1946 [68] Bill Clinton (William Jefferson Blythe III), Hope AR, 42nd US President (1993-2001)/best-selling author (“My Life”)/much sought-after speaker ($175,000 a pop)

1948 [66] Jim Carter, Harrogate UK, TV actor (‘Carson’ the butler on “Downton Abbey” since 2010)

1965 [49] Kevin Dillon, Mamaroneck NY, TV actor (“How to Be a Gentleman” 2011-12, “Entourage” 2004-11)/brother of actor Matt Dillon  BS FACTOID: A bigscreen version of “Entourage” opens June 12, 2015.

1965 [49] Kyra Sedgwick, TV actress (“The Closer” 2005-12)/Mrs Kevin Bacon since 1988

1966 [48] Lee Ann Womack, Jacksonville TX, 5′-1″ country singer (“I Hope You Dance”, “I’ll Think Of a Reason Later”)

1969 [45] Matthew Perry, Williamstown MA [raised Ottawa ON], TV actor (“Go On” 2012-13, “Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip” 2006-07, “Friends” 1994-2004)/movie actor (“The Whole Nine Yards”)

1969 [45] Clay Walker, Beaumont TX, country singer (“She Won’t Be Lonely Long”, “Dreaming with My Eyes Open”)

1983 [31] Tammin Sursok, Johannesburg, South Africa, TV actress (‘Jenna Marshall’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2010)

1986 [28] Christina Perri, Philadelphia PA, pop singer-songwriter (“A Thousand Years”, “Jar of Hearts”)

• “Afghan Independence Day”, celebrating the country of Afghanistan gaining full independence from the United Kingdom in 1919. (Only to be invaded about 87 times afterward.)

• “Aviation Day”, an annual observance honoring the 1871 birth date of Orville Wright, who piloted the first self-powered flight in history on December 17, 1903.

• “Soft Ice Cream Day”, honoring the chilly treat that’s dispensed out of a nozzle in enticing whirls onto a cone. Don’t forget to get it dipped in chocolate!
NET: http://bit.ly/aTPPgw

• “World Humanitarian Day”, a UN celebration of people helping people that recognizes the sacrifices and contributions of those who risk their lives to give others help and hope.

2009 [05] Don Hewitt, creator & producer of the CBS News program “60 Minutes” dies at age 86 (widely credited as the pioneer of the TV news magazine format)

2012 [02] Movie director Tony Scott (“Top Gun”) dies at age 68 after jumping from the Vincent Thomas Bridge into Los Angeles Harbor (a suicide note is later found in his car)

1964 [50] The Beatles kick off their first North American tour at the 17,000-seat Cow Palace in San Francisco CA (manager Brian Epstein fears they may not sell out a larger venue)

1909 [105] In front of 12,000 spectators, automotive engineer Louis Schwitzer wins the 2-lap, 5-mile inaugural race at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway in Indianapolis, Indiana (average speed: 57.4 mph)

1962 [52] Homer Blancos records the ‘Best-Ever Score in Competitive Golf’, shooting a 55 for 18 holes (Premier Invitational Tournament in Longview TX)

[Wed] Medical Dosimetrist Day
[Wed] Radio Day
[Thurs] “The Simpsons” marathon begins (FXX)
[Thurs] Spumoni Day
[Thurs] Poets Day
[Thurs] Senior Citizens Day
This Week is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month


Just like on TV, instruct your contestants to answer in the form of a question. Of course, they never get them right; it’s just an excuse for you to do the zinger. So, the answer is …
• A full moon. (The correct question is – What would you see if J-Lo dropped her pants?)
• A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and [your co-host’s] girlfriend. (Name 3 things that have yeast.)
• Mount Baldy. (How do you play piggyback with Vin Diesel?)
• Flyswatter. (What do you call a sadistic tailor?)
• Whacka-doo. (What do you look for when you’re tracking a whacka?)
• Rough cut. (What do you get from a near-sighted rabbi?)
• Groundhog. (What was in those greasy sausages I had for breakfast?)
• Dumplings. (What do you call tiny little dumps?)
Get the actual game show theme music here…
NET: http://tinyurl.com/ccdreus

☎ As a child, what terrified you most?

She’s so stupid she thought an innuendo was an Italian suppository.

Question: In a recent Yahoo! survey, the majority say they feel most guilty when they do THIS.
Answer: Waste food.

When you’re rich, it’s ‘eccentric’; when you’re poor, it’s just ‘strange’.

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