Friday, August 19, 2016 – Edition: #5800

When You Can’t Beguile Them With Brilliance, Baffle Them With Bull!

★ Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand Goop is moving its headquarters from NY to LA. The actress launched her digital newsletter on food, health, beauty, fashion, and sex in 2008 and has since expanded Goop, which employs 60 people, to include a publishing company and a pop-up store. The move follows the news that Goop has been given a $10-million boost from 3 major investors to allow the brand to expand further. Paltrow says her goal is to eventually be completely disassociated from the company. Another ‘conscious uncoupling’?
– Bang Showbiz
★ Justin Bieber is set to collaborate with Forever 21 on a limited-edition fashion line, ‘Forever 21 x Justin’, which includes 8 exclusive pieces available to buy online at the company’s e-store beginning Monday. The merchandise will hit physical stores August 29th. A Forever 21 press release reads: “We are pleased to partner with Justin Bieber and Bravado to celebrate one of the most influential musicians of this generation.”
★ And Sting has teamed with top cognitive psychologist Daniel Levitin at McGill University in Montréal QC to study how a musician’s mind works. The former Police frontman met with Levitin in Canada recently, and allowed him to use state-of-the-art techniques to analyze images of his brain as part of a paper focused on how professional musicians think. Sting reached out to offer his services after reading Levitin’s book, “This Is Your Brain on Music”. Levitin is next hoping to use the technology to discover how athletes organize their thoughts.

• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Carly Rae Jepsen (“Emotion”). Rerun.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Kelsea Ballerini (“The First Time”).
• Hot 100 Music Festival (NYC) – The lineup for “Billboard” magazine’s 2nd annual Saturday-Sunday event at Jones Beach Theater has headlining sets from Ariana Grande, Calvin Harris, Fetty Wap, and J Cole.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Miranda Lambert (“Platinum”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Tonight Red Hot Chili Peppers (“The Getaway”). Rerun.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight iconic singer-songwriter Carole King. Rerun.
• “The Tragically Hip: A National Celebration” (CBC) – Saturday a live telecast of the final show in the “Man Machine Poem Tour” by Canada’s beloved retiring rockers in their hometown of Kingston ON.
• V Festival (UK) – The annual 2-site music festival lasts 2 days, with Justin Bieber headlining Saturday in Chelmsford’s Hylands Park and then moving to Weston Park in Staffordshire on Sunday. Rihanna plays the opposite dates. Supports acts include Sia and David Guetta.
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Today French Montana (“MC4”, out October 14th). Rerun.

• Adele – She’s playing an additional 2 shows at LA’s Staples Center Saturday and Sunday, making it a total of 8 SRO concerts at the venue. If she’s well, that is. A bad cold prompted forced her to postpone her Wednesday night show in Phoenix AZ.
• Amos Lee – Today the veteran singer-songwriter releases his 6th album, “Spirit”. He’s hitting the road in support of the album starting September 6th in Burlington VT.
• Blake Shelton – After several old tweets referencing gays and non-English speakers re-surfaced online, he’s apologized on Twitter for offending people but denies being hateful. He does admit his humor can at times be “inappropriate and immature”.
• Dierks Bentley – He’s hoping this weekend’s gigs in Texas go better than last. Bentley’s tour bus left without him after his “Somewhere On a Beach Tour” stopover in St Louis MO. Dierks calls the mishap being ‘oil spotted'”, when an oil spot on the ground is the only trace of the bus.
• Ellie Goulding – Today she releases the new single “Still Falling For You”, which is being included on the soundtrack of the film “Bridget Jones’s Baby”, starring Renée Zellweger (out September 16th).
• Faith No More – Today their debut album, “We Care a Lot”, which has been out of print for 20 years, gets a reissue. The original 10-song album is enhanced with 9 bonus tracks, including demos, live tracks, and new mixes.
• Kanye West – He’s opening 21 “Life of Pablo” pop-up shops worldwide this weekend, but specific location are only being announced 24 hours prior to their openings. The temporary stores are stocked with merch linked to his 7th studio album released earlier this year.
• Lady Gaga – She’s finally returning with some new music, 2 years since the release of her last project, “Cheek to Cheek” with Tony Bennett. A new single entitled “Perfect Illusion” is being released next month. No details of a new album have been announced just yet.
• Metallica – Pandora is livestreaming their headlining performance at US Bank Stadium in Minneapolis MN on Saturday. Tickets sold out in 10 minutes for this first rock concert at the new home of the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings.
• Nicki Minaj – She & partner Meek Mill have finally moved into a 9-bedroom mansion in Beverly Hills CA together, a move delayed by Meek’s court-imposed house arrest in Philadelphia PA which was completed in June. The tuneful twosome has chosen to rent instead of buy.
• The Prophets of Rage – Their “Make America Rage Again Tour” kicks off in Fairfax VA tonight and wraps in Chula Vista CA on October 16th. The supergroup is made up of members of Rage Against the Machine, Public Enemy, and Cypress Hill.

• “Ben-Hur” ( PG-13 Adventure Drama ): The epic story of ‘Judah Ben-Hur’ (played by Jack Huston), a prince falsely accused of treason by his adopted brother, an officer in the Roman army. Co-stars Toby Kebbell, Rodrigo Santoro, Nazanin Boniadi. A remake of William Wyler’s Oscar-winning 1959 epic, a remake in and of itself.
• “Kubo & The Two Strings” ( PG Animated Adventure ): A young boy in ancient Japan named ‘Kubo’ must locate a magical suit of armor worn by his late father in order to defeat a vengeful spirit from the past. Voice cast includes Art Parkinson, Charlize Theron, Matthew McConaughey, and Ralph Fiennes.
• “War Dogs” ( R-Rated War Comedy ): Todd Phillips’ true story about 2 unlikely war profiteers, Efraim Diveroli & David Packouz (played by Jonah Hill & Miles Teller), who exploit a little-known government initiative that allows small businesses to bid on US military contracts to win a $300-million deal from the Pentagon to arm the USA’s allies in Afghanistan.
• Opening in limited release: “Imperium” (Crime Thriller); “Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV” (Animated Adventure); “Lo and Behold, Reveries Of the Connected World” (Documentary); “Morris from America” (Romantic Comedy); “The People vs Fritz Bauer” (Biographical Drama); and “A Tale of Love & Darkness (Biographical Drama).

A party drug might become the 1st new treatment for major depressive disorder in about a half-century. A 3-year clinical trial is underway in Australia and New Zealand measuring the effectiveness of ketamine (aka ‘Special K’) in treating depression, particularly in those who don’t respond to other treatments. Initially used as an analgesic and sedative for soldiers in Vietnam, the hallucinogen is now mainly purposed as an animal tranquilizer. However, people have also taken it for pain, PTSD, and anxiety. Scientists say it might actually transform damaged nerves caused by depression and the effect seems to happen within hours rather than the weeks it takes with other medications. (Do NOT attempt your own trial, the side effects can be massive.)

This week a blimp-shaped, helium-filled airship considered the ‘World’s Largest Aircraft’ flew for the first time with a short but historic jaunt over an airfield in central England. Engines roaring, the 302-foot ‘Airlander 10’ rose slowly from Cardington airfield, 45 miles north of London. A hybrid of blimp, helicopter, and airplane, it is designed to stay aloft for days at a time and has been nicknamed the ‘Flying Bum’ due to its bulbous front end. The makers say commercial flights are probably 5 years away. (Will you be willing to travel on an airborne ass?)

In Thailand, it’s illegal to be a ‘dishonest politician’, as defined by officials loyal to the military.


1946 [70] Bill Clinton (William Jefferson Blythe III), Hope AR, 42nd US president (1993-2001)/future ‘First Gentleman’?

1948 [68] Jim Carter, Harrogate UK, TV actor (‘Carson’ the butler on “Downton Abbey” 2010-15)

1963 [53] John Stamos, Cypress CA, TV actor (“Scream Queens” 2016, “Fuller House” 2016, “Full House” 1987-95)

1965 [51] Kyra Sedgwick, TV actress (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine” since 2014, “The Closer” 2005-12)/Mrs Kevin Bacon since 1988

1969 [47] Matthew Perry, Williamstown MA [raised Ottawa ON], TV actor (“The Odd Couple” 2015, “Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip” 2006-07, “Friends” 1994-2004)

1969 [47] Clay Walker, Beaumont TX, country singer (“She Won’t Be Lonely Long”, “Fall”)

1976 [40] Régine Chassagne, Montréal QC, rock musician (Arcade Fire-“Reflektor”, “Keep the Car Running”)/married to group co-founder Win Butler

1983 [33] Tammin Sursok, Johannesburg, South Africa, TV actress (‘Jenna Marshall’ on “Pretty Little Liars” since 2010)

1986 [30] Christina Perri, Bensalem PA, pop singer-songwriter (“Human”, “Jar of Hearts”)

Rock singer Robert Plant (Led Zeppelin) is 68; Weather reporter Al Roker (“Today”) is 62; Movie actress Joan Allen (“Room”) is 60; TV actor Billy Gardell (“Mike & Molly”) is 47; Movie actress Amy Adams (“Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”) is 42; Movie actor Andrew Garfield (“Amazing Spider-Man”) is 33; Pop singer/actress Demi Lovato (“Skyscraper”) is 24.

Rock singer Serj Tankian (System Of a Down) is 49; Internet billionaire Sergey Brin (Google) is 43; Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt (100 m gold 3X) is 30; Country singer Kacey Musgraves (“Follow Your Arrow”) is 28; TV actress Hayden Panettiere (“Nashville”) is 27.

• “Afghan Independence Day”, celebrating the country of Afghanistan gaining full independence from the United Kingdom in 1919. (Only to be invaded about 87 times afterward.)
• “Aviation Day”, an annual observance honoring the 1871 birth date of Orville Wright, who piloted the first self-powered flight in history on December 17, 1903.
• “Canadian National Exhibition”, through September 5th in Toronto ON, a late Summer tradition since 1879. Attractions include parkour demonstrations, water skiing exhibitions, the 67th Canadian International Air Show, and a variety of music concerts.
• “International Orangutan Day”, to encourage the public to take action in preserving this amazing yet endangered species. Orangs are the most iconic victim of the palm oil industry.
• “Men’s Grooming Day”, every 3rd Friday of August, when participating salons and barbershops host a day of special events for men.

• “Bacon Lovers Day”, saluting one of the oldest of all processed meats. The Chinese began salting pork bellies as early as 1500 BC. What odd dish do you include bacon in … or on?
• “Honey Bee Day”, an awareness day started by beekeepers to build community awareness of the bee industry through education and promotion. Where have all the bees gone?
• “International Geocaching Day”, celebrated on the 3rd Saturday each August to salute the popular recreational activity in which participants use GPS to discover hide-and-seek containers (caches) hidden worldwide.
• “Lemonade Day”, set aside to honor the old-fashioned Summer refreshment favorite. Some sources indicate that lemonade was invented in Paris, France on this day in 1630.
• “Natural Chimneys Jousting Tournament” in Mt Solon VA. It’s the 195th edition, making it the oldest, continuously-held sporting event in the USA, replete with horses, lances, swords, and body armor … just like in medieval England!
• Pacific National Exhibition in Vancouver BC, the 106th edition through September 5th. This year’s entertainment includes Hedley, Jason Derulo, M83, Rae Sremmurd, and ScHoolboy Q.
• “World Mosquito Day”, observed annually to commemorate the 1897 date when Brit doctor Sir Ronald Ross discovered the link between malaria transmission and mosquitoes. At the time it created a lot of buzz.

• “Senior Citizens Day”, the 28th annual observance to recognize and show appreciation for the value and contribution of elders to home, family, and society.
• “Spumoni Day”, saluting the Italian dessert made from layers of ice cream, whipped cream, candied fruit, and nuts. It is typically made with 3 layers of flavor: Chocolate, Pistachio, Cherry.

2012 [04] Movie director Tony Scott (“Top Gun”) dies at age 68 after jumping off the Vincent Thomas Bridge into Los Angeles Harbor (a suicide note is later found in his car)

2008 [08] Saxophonist/arranger LeRoi Moore of Dave Matthews Band dies at age 46 after being injured in an ATV accident in Charlottesville VA

2014 [02] Brit singer-songwriter Kate Bush requests fans do not take photos or videos using tech devices at her 22-date run of performances in London UK (this becomes a trend)

2015 [01] US Navy announces it will begin allowing women to undergo its intensive 6-month SEAL training

[Mon] Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day
[Mon] Take Your Cat to the Vet Day
[Tues] Day for Remembrance Of the Slave Trade & Its Abolition
[Wed] Waffle Iron Day
This Week is … Freedom of Enterprise Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month


✗ “It was never my intention to get caught.”
✗ “I’d like to thank my wives for standing here beside me.”
✗ “My pants will be arriving shortly.”
✗ “Does this look like a bullseye rash?”
✗ “I’ll keep this short because I need to flee the country.”
✗ “I am so high right now.”
✗ “Florida law says if I don’t like your questions, I can shoot you.”
✗ “I thought I said no fat-chick reporters.”
✗ “Look at you sorry sons-of-bitches.”

☎ Which villain should be featured in Ben Affleck’s upcoming solo ‘Batman’ movie?

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

Question: According to a new poll, 40% of moms do THIS to make things go smoother in the morning when they drive their kids to school.
Answer: Wear their PJs.

In the 1960s people took acid to make the world seem weird. Now the world IS weird and
people take Prozac to make it seem normal.

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