Tuesday, August 2, 2011        Edition: #4562

You Really Know You’re Sheet!

A museum dedicated to Arnold Schwarzenegger has opened at his childhood home near Graz, Austria where, among other things, visitors can see the first weights he started bodybuilding with as a teen (it’s also the place where he had his first maid) . . . Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi has gotten her nose pierced on the final day of filming for season 5 of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” (cool, 3 nostrils!) . . . 42-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston has thrown a lavish ‘goodbye party’ at the Beverly Hills estate she spent 2 years refurbishing and then recently sold for an astounding $36 million (too bad, the party-goers trashed it) . . . 36-year-old actress-turned-serial mom Angelina Jolie tells “Us Magazine” she doesn’t ‘love acting’ as much as she once did (yeah we know, we’ve seen the movies) . . . Meantime, Jolie has announced she’s hoping to take her 6 children on a month-long trek across Africa’s Sahara Desert (just to make us all feel even more inadequate) . . . 45-year-old unemployed actor Charlie Sheen has agreed to pay for ex-wife Brooke Mueller’s rehab treatment, reportedly because he didn’t want her to receive a controversial therapy in Mexico (‘cause if anyone knows drug treatment, it’s Charlie!) . . . And 66-year-old veteran actress Helen Mirren (“The Queen”) has staved off competition from much younger rivals to be named ‘Best Body in Showbiz’ in a new LA Fitness poll (another reason to celebrate your 60s, ladies!).

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Seether (“Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Gavin DeGraw (“Chariot”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Mini Mansions (“Mini Mansions”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Sergio Mendez (“Bom Tempo”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Explosions In the Sky (“Take Care, Take Care, Take Care”).
• “Live With Regis & Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Cory Monteith (“Glee”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Mat Kearney (“Young Love”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – 1990s pop stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

• Amy Winehouse – 56-year-old Tony Azzopardi, who calls himself a ‘friend’, was re-interviewed by police yesterday after claiming he helped her buy £1,200-worth of crack cocaine and heroin the night before she died.
• Lady Gaga – A photobook showing her life on the road and in the recording studio will be released on November 22nd. It will simply be titled “Lady Gaga”.
• Patsy Cline – Today the Winchester, Virginia home where the music legend lived before becoming a pop/country star opens for public tours. She died in a plane crash at age 30 in 1963.
• Rihanna – She’s on the cover of “Glamour” magazine’s September issue. Inside she says women are dominating music right now, and that’s because they are ‘competitive beings’.
• Shania Twain – Her ex-husband, Mutt Lange, who was her co-songwriter and longtime record producer before he had an affair with her best friend, is now producing tracks for Lady Gaga.
• Trace Adkins – His 10th studio album, “Proud to Be Here”, is out today. A deluxe edition with 4 additional tracks is available, including a duet with Blake Shelton titled “If I Was a Woman”.

• “The Perfect Game” ( PG Drama ): Amidst the gritty poverty of Monterrey, Mexico a rag-tag group of boys from the wrong side of the tracks discovers the joys of sandlot baseball, thanks to a major league coach thwarted by discrimination. Stars Cheech Marin, Louis Gossett Jr.
• “Rio” ( G-Rated Animated Adventure ): Jesse Eisenberg (“The Social Network”) voices the role of ‘Blu’, a domesticated macaw from small-town Minnesota who takes off on an adventure to Rio de Janeiro with ‘Jewel’, the bird of his dreams (Anne Hathaway).
• “Soul Surfer” ( PG Drama ): AnnaSophia Robb stars in the real-life story of Bethany Hamilton, a teen who lost her arm in a shark attack while surfing. Co-stars Dennis Quaid, Helen Hunt. Country singer Carrie Underwood makes her bigscreen debut playing a church youth leader.
• Also released today: “Adrenaline Rush: The Science of Risk” (Documentary); “Ben 10 Ultimate Alien: The Return of Heatblast” (Animation); “Curious George: A Day At the Library (Animation); “Everwood: The Complete 4th Season” (TV); “ Exporting Raymond” (Documentary); “The Minnesota Twins: 1991 World Series” (Collector’s Edition);  and “Sesame Street: Learning Letters with Elmo” (Family).

• A couple in China is now in custody after being arrested for  … selling 3 of their children to pay for their online gaming obsession. And they see nothing wrong with what they have done, admitting that their only motivation to have kids was to sell them for cold hard cash. (Send these people to “Dante’s Inferno” … level 1!)
– Destructoid.com
• A photographer has been questioned by cops after the crocodile he brought to a lake in eastern Russia to pose in novelty photos with vacationers escaped, terrifying hundreds of swimmers. The 6-ft-long croc gave his owner the slip as he haggled with tourists over the price of a souvenir photo at Lake Shira in Siberia. A special police wildlife unit eventually recovered the crocodile, which has been sent to a nearby aquatic centre. (It’s the case of the snapper with a snapper.)
– BestTopNews.com
• This “Eyewitness News” reporter may become a witness for the prosecution. Cops have busted a pair of punks after one allegedly fired a pellet from a BB gun that struck KABC-TV reporter Leanne Suter as she did a live shot in Fontana, California. The boys, aged 16 and 17, have been charged for assault with a dangerous weapon, and released to their parents. (Who have grounded them until 2056.)
– NYPost.com
• It could only happen in pricey Monte Carlo, Monaco … a woman driving a $400,000-Bentley Azure down the main drag apparently lost control and caused … a $1.1-million pile-up! Among the vehicles she winged or crashed directly into: a $120,000-Mercedes Benz, a $230,000-Ferrari, a $240,000-Aston Martin, and a cheapo Porsche. The blond driver (we’re just sayin’) and her passenger were unhurt, but became trapped in the car – not due to damage – but from curious onlookers and tourists snapping photos. (Makes that parking lot ding you caused seem mild, no?)

Some hotels have begun designing rooms especially catered to larger-sized athletes in an attempt to lure customers from this niche market. Hotels such as the JW Marriott Marquis in Miami, Florida provide athletes with larger-sized beds and higher-raised sinks. (Yeah, you wouldn’t want an athlete to have to bend over.)
– “Globe & Mail”

Tired of lying awake in the middle of the night because the guy in the next hotel room is snoring like a freight train? The Crowne Plaza hotel chain is trying out the first-ever ‘snore absorption’ rooms at 10 hotels in Europe and the Middle East, and 6 locations in Britain have implemented ‘snore patrols’ this month. That’s where ‘snore monitors’ patrol corridors to listen for offensive noises and knock on the door of guests who snore too loudly. (That way EVERYONE’S awake.)
– Reuters.com

It looks like American businesses aren’t the only ones hoarding cash these days. According to a survey recently released by VISA, so is the fabled ‘Tooth Fairy’. Last year, children who left teeth under their pillow received an average of $3 per tooth. This year, in comparison, that amount has plunged to $2.60. (Seems there’s less moolah in molars.)
– HuffingtonPost.com

Researchers report that most people focus on the lower part of the face – nose, lips and cheeks – when dealing with others. However, true feelings are more likely to appear on the upper face – eyes, brows and forehead – and can therefore easily be missed. (Like when the boss is smiling at you, but her eyes are burning a hole through your head.)
– PA News

A Floyd Advisory study has found that women pay an average of 73% more than men for laundered shirts. Dry-cleaners’ excuse? Women’s shirts don’t fit in industrial presses as well as men’s and must be ironed by hand. That may explain a related poll by Mintel International that has found 75% of women avoid buying clothes that require dry-cleaning. (And don’t get us started on the cost of haircuts!)
– “Wall Street Journal”

31-year-old Stamford UK plumber Colin Furze has built the ‘World’s Longest Motorcycle’, a 25-seater that’s an incredible 72-ft (22-m) long. He used one-and-a-half 125-cc mopeds which he extended using an aluminum frame. He says he’s managed to get the bike up to 35 mph, but has found it’s almost impossible to steer. To make it into the record books, he had to drive 100 meters, but amazingly he managed to ride more than a mile. (It’s mass transit for Hell’s Angels.)
– Orange.co.uk

• Uganda’s national anthem is the world’s shortest at just 8 musical bars. You’d have to repeat it 3 times to reach a minute.
– BBC News
• Apple Corporation now has more cash to spend than the US government. Latest figures from the Treasury Department show the country has an operating cash balance of $73.7 billion. Apple’s most recent financial results put its reserves at $76.4 billion.
– CNN.com
• London’s famous Harrods department store has started the holiday season early this year, unveiling its Christmas product lines and displays on … July 28th.
– “The Telegraph”


1932 [79] Peter O’Toole, Connemara, Ireland, movie actor (“Ratatouille”, “Lawrence of Arabia”)/Lifetime Achievement Academy Award (2003)

1939 [72] Wes Craven, Cleveland OH, horror movie director (“Red Eye”, “Scream” films)

1964 [47] Mary-Louise Parker, Fort Jackson SC, TV actress (“Weeds” since 2005, “The West Wing” 2001-06)/movie actress (“Fried Green Tomatoes”)

1970 [41] Kevin Smith, Red Bank NJ, filmmaker (“Clerks”, “Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back”)

1976 [35] Sam Worthington, Godalming UK [raised Perth, Australia], movie actor (“Avatar”, “Clash Of the Titans”)

• “Ice Cream Sandwich Day”, celebrating the chilly goodness of stuffing ice cream between a couple of wafers. Stone cold brilliant!

• “Make Some Old-Fashioned Lemonade Day”, squeezing real lemons and using real sugar and real water. Pucker up!

• “National Night Out”, the 28th annual promoting crime & drug prevention as concerned people in urban neighborhoods across North America ‘take back the streets’ by going out en masse after dark.
NET: http://nationaltownwatch.org

2007 [04] Elvis Presley Enterprises announces plans to revamp ‘Graceland’ with a visitors’ center, convention hotel, and hi-tech multimedia displays

2007 [04] Rolling Stones’ Keith Richards signs a $7-million deal for the rights to his upcoming autobiography, “Life”, scheduled for release in 2010

1961 [50] The Beatles begin a 2-year engagement of some 300 shows at Liverpool’s Cavern Club

1975 [36] Distance record for ‘Champagne Cork Popping’ of 103 feet is set by Gary Mahan of La Habra Heights, California

[Wed] Watermelon Day
[Thurs] Chocolate Chip Day
[Thurs] Underwear Day
[Fri] “The Change-Up”; “Rise Of the Planet Of the Apes” open in movie theaters
[Fri] “Lollapalooza” festival begins (Chicago)
[Fri] International Beer Day
[Fri] Work Like a Dog Day
This Week Is … Fraud Awareness Week
This Month Is … Immunization Awareness Month


• “Harley Davidson presents Justin Bieber”
• “Armani presents Bruce Springsteen”
• “Red Lobster presents Phish”
• “AA presents Kings of Leon”
• “Pepto Bismol presents Red Hot Chili Peppers”
• “GLAAD presents George Strait”
• “Depends presents Wiz Khalifa”
• “Weight Watchers presents Cake”
• “Tylenol presents T-Pain”
• “Dr Scholl’s presents Korn”

Some kids’ sports leagues are banning yelling at the players from onlookers (typically, over-involved parents) and allowing only applause. Silent soccer … good idea or bad?

• Whyzit we call them ‘fleas’ when they never go away?
• Whyzit we don’t ‘bless’ people when they cough or fart?
• Whyzit always the people you don’t want to lend money to who ask for loans?
• Whyzit ‘softballs’ are so hard?
• Whyzit we call it a ‘walk’ when the batter jogs to first base and then becomes a ‘runner’?
• Whyzit pants aren’t called ‘longs’ to correspond with ‘shorts’?
• Whyzit we’re always getting ‘overwhelmed’ but never just ‘whelmed’?

Some days you’re the pigeon … and some days you’re the statue.

It’s “International Clown Week”, so here’s our timely …
• He’s the TV clown ‘Bart’ loves on “The Simpsons”. (‘Krusty the Klown’)
• He’s the popular red-haired clown who had a TV show in the 1950s and ‘60s. (‘Bozo’)
• He hangs around with ‘Grimace’ and ‘Hamburglar’. (‘Ronald McDonald’)
• He scares the bejeepers out of you, compliments of Stephen King. (‘It’)
• It’s the bizarre hip-hop group that throws an annual “Gathering Of the Juggalos” festival. (Insane Clown Posse)

Today’s Question: According to a medical report, women do THIS almost twice as much as men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Blink.

What you see can depend on what you look for.

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