Tuesday, August 22, 2017 – Edition: #6039

Deja Moo!

★ Jerry Lewis, the slapstick-loving comedian, innovative filmmaker and generous fundraiser for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, died Sunday after a brief illness at 91.  What you might not know:
○ Lewis first gained fame for his frenzied comedy-and-music act with singer Dean Martin.
○ He pioneered the use of videotape and closed-circuit monitors in moviemaking, a now-standard technique called ‘video assist’.
○ He first helped raise money for muscular dystrophy in a telethon in 1956. He was so successful, and so devoted to the cause, that children affected by the disease became known as “Jerry’s kids.” The telethon, long known as “The Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon,” began airing on Labor Day weekend in 1966, and Lewis served as host until 2011, raising a total of about $2.4 billion.
○ While Lewis was one of America’s leading box office attractions in the 1960s, critics mocked him.  But he became a renowned figure in France and in 1984, the French awarded Lewis the ‘Legion of Honor’, the country’s highest tribute.
○ He considered 1963’s “The Nutty Professor” his best film.  A twist on “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” it starred Lewis both as nebbish professor Julius Kelp and smooth-talking boor Buddy Love, the man he turned into after drinking a strange potion.
○ In the hours after his death, internet searches for pioneering rock n’roll singer Jerry Lee Lewis were trending.
(BS Web Goodie: Classic Jerry:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkGTwmJxHA0)
★ It has now come out that Tom Cruise’s stunt double slammed into building the day before Cruise broke his ankle attempting the same jump. Fans watched horrified as Tom’s daredevil double painfully tested out the jump in advance of filming the scene for ‘M:I 6 – Mission Impossible’.  It is thought that the double was wearing padding which protected him in a way that spared him from serious injury.  A day later the 55-year-old actor was injured doing it for real – and is expected to need four months to recover.  Paramount Pictures has put production on hold while Cruise recovers, but insists the release date next July will not be affected.
(Hmmm….when it comes to that wall….missing is impossible?)
★ Riley Keough admits that being part of the famous Presley dynasty has helped her career. The 28-year-old actress – whose grandfather is Elvis Presley – says that she is extremely lucky to come from a well-known family because it helped her land a Hollywood agent immediately. She said: ”It’s been a huge help. I’m very privileged. Like the normal story of moving to LA and it takes you three years to find an agent? I got one in a week.” She starred in TV’s ‘The Girlfriend Experience’ and ‘Logan Lucky’ on the big screen, with at least 4 more movies slated for this year and next.
★ Reese Witherspoon worries she is ”ruining” her children’s lives and admits that parenting teenagers is difficult. According to Reese, her kids “very rarely agree with anything you tell them. And when it comes to a 17-year-old girl, you begin to see that you don’t know anything about her any more.”  Witherspoon says she finds herself calling her mum and asking, “Am I ruining their lives?”
★ Andrew Dice Clay was never one to mince words.  And he’s not starting now.  He jokes that doesn’t want to hang out with anyone his own age. In fact, he says that he is going to start avoiding “anyone over the age of 45.” Clay, who is 59, says that “Old people just talk about medical problems — ‘I gotta take this medication, that medication, I got this wrong with me, that wrong with me.’ Dice Clay says he still has a young spirit.  He loves the energy of youth, and according to him, he has never lost that energy.  Or the way he puts it, “Just give me a burger and flash me!”
(Actually he IS growing up…that’s the first time I’ve heard him say 3 sentences without using a four-letter word!)
★ ‘Wonder Woman’ has passed the original ‘Spider-Man’ at box office, reaching $800 million in worldwide box-office receipts.  And “Wonder Woman” will get one last boost to its numbers next weekend, when it finally opens in Japan.
★ Trekkies, get ready to geek out at this beautiful news…Terry Farrell, who played fan-favorite  Jadzia Dax on the ’90s series ‘Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’, is engaged to Adam Nimoy, the son of late Star Trek legend Leonard Nimoy, aka Spock.
(***See ‘Things Never Said on Star Trek’, below***)

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Jim Parsons, Damson Idris, the War on Drugs ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jessica Biel, Matt Bomer, Kelsea Ballerini, Keith Sweat ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): John Oliver, Mike Birbiglia, Michael Showalter ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Maya Rudolph, Lorde, Matt Johnson ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Tom Cruise, Jennifer Hudson, Russell Brand, Anthony Joshua, Kings of Leon ( R )
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Topher Grace, Galantis, Tyler Henry ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Sen. Amy Klobuchar
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Ice Cube, Lea DeLaria, Jim Lauderdale
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Olivia Wilde, Anderson Cooper ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Condoleezza Rice, Ashley Graham ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Kiefer Sutherland, Michael Heyward, guest co-host Elizabeth Cook ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Kerry Washington, Zac Efron, Chris Byrne
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Chris Pratt ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Hot topics ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Charlamagne Tha God, Cody Johnson ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Kevin Hart ( R )
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC): A woman receives a date card but struggles to find someone to ask her out.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Live Show 2” Twelve acts perform live.
• “Hollywood Game Night” (NBC): Mel B., Darius Rucker, Sherri Shepherd, David Feherty, Derek Hough and Andy Richter.

• Justin Bieber — is not only off Floyd Mayweather’s Money Team, he’s now one of Floyd’s mortal enemies.  The people at Hillsong Church have been counselling Bieber to take a hard look at his friends and have advised him to pull back from those who are bad influences. Mayweather lashed back, calling Justin a “traitor”.
• Mariah Carey – is being mocked for wearing high heels while bowling with her kids.  After Instagramming a shot of herself and her twins with the hashtag #dontbreakyournailswhilebowling, the haters were out in full force.  But many followers also supported her, calling her a good mother. (Might be a good mother, but she can’t be a good bowler with heels on!)
• Jay Z – The bad blood between him and Kanye West is still plaguing their relationship.  According to Jay, the two haven’t moved past their rift because of what Jay says was an attack on his family when Kanye made comments from the stage.
• Pink – forgot some of her lyrics at V Festival in the UK over the weekend. Thankfully her fans didn’t forget and helped her throughout the show.  (Welcome to your ‘Ozzy’ years!)
• Meek Mill – was arrested for reckless endangerment following his performance on The Tonight Show on Thursday.   The night before, Meek allegedly rode his dirt bike around New York City without a helmet, popping wheelies, according to the New York Police Department.
• Kesha – played The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon to promote the release of her new album, ‘Rainbow’.  She sang a moving rendition of her single, “Praying.” But backstage is where it got interesting.  She joined forces with The Roots to cover The Animals version of the song “House of the Rising Sun.”

• Guns N’ Roses – Axl Rose, Slash and Duff McKagan shared a stage in Montreal for the first time since their group’s controversial appearance there ended in a large-scale riot 25 years ago. Rose joked to the crowd that “They know it’s better not to place you and us in a stadium.”
• Luke Bryan – says he loves collaborating with other artists, but especially artists from other music genres, because, “you learn little things, and you take it and apply it into your world. It’s a big-time learning experience for me.”
• Cole Swindell – recently earned his seventh consecutive No. 1 hit with “Flatliner,” his duet with Dierks Bentley. Swindell says that if there is a secret to his success, he doesn’t know what it is.  He does admit, though, that at some point, his streak has to end.  He says he feels the pressure, but “It’s a good pressure.”

Get ‘em wherever you get your movies…
• “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2” (PG-13, Action/Comedy):  The Guardians must fight to keep their newfound family together as they unravel the mystery of Peter Quill’s true parentage. (Chris Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista)
• “Scales: Mermaids Are Real” (PG, Drama/Kids):  Destined to turn into a Mermaid at the age of twelve, Siren must struggle with her new reality, saying good bye to her mother and friends, while she transitions into the water. (Emmy Perry, Morgan Fairchild, Elisabeth Röhm)
• “Kill Switch” (R-Rated, Drama):  A pilot battles to save his family and the planet after an experiment for unlimited energy goes wrong. (Dan Stevens, Bérénice Marlohe, Tygo Gernandt)
• “Party Boat” (Not Rated, Comedy):  Max, who is throwing a 25th birthday party for his best friend Kiley. When Max finds out Kiley’s boyfriend Greg plans to propose, he embarks on an adventure to win Kiley’s heart and throw his greatest party ever. (Brett Davern, Demetrius Bridges, Katie Leclerc)
• “Bushwick” (Not Rated, Action/Adventure):  When a Texas military force invades their Brooklyn neighborhood, 20-year-old Lucy and war veteran Stupe must depend on each other to survive. (Dave Bautista, Brittany Snow, Christian Navarro)

Here are some other things that you can wash and sanitize in your dishwasher:
■ Silicone hot pads and oven mitts. (Please note, just the SILICONE over mitts!)
■ Kitchen Sponges + Brushes (why do I even need those if I have a dishwasher?)
■ Shower Loofahs (Sure, MINE is fine in there….but I don’t want anybody else’s!!)
■ Makeup Brushes (have we gone too far here?)
■ Hair Brushes + Combs (make sure there are no dishes in there too!)
■ Baseball Hats (Well, if a brush is ok in there…why not?)
■ Toothbrush, Holder + Shower Head (If that shower head ever comes off, I know it’ll never go back on!)
■ Rubber Shoes (I do not want your flip-flops in my dishwasher)
■ Electrical Switch Plates (Wha?  Oh, why not?)
(Just remember to clean all the food gunk out of there first!)
(EVERYTHING goes in the dishwasher, apparently.  Why not just climb on in there and take a shower?)
(And the next time you’re invited to someone’s house for dinner, just remember that their shoes, toothbrush and shower loofah might have been in the dishwasher right before your plate!)

Because it is something that you really want to hear as the precious days of summer are ticking away, the Farmer’s Almanac has chimed in with their forecast for the winter of 2017-18.  And it doesn’t look great.  Unless you live in the east and sell snowsuits for a living.  It looks like there is lots of snow in store for the eastern U.S. and Canada.  They predict colder than usual temperatures for these areas, but areas to the west could see a milder winter than usual.  For those in central regions you should expect to see “wide swings in the weather pendulum, from very mild to very cold, and periods of tranquil weather mixed with occasional spells of tempestuous conditions.” (Sounds like EVERY winter to me!).  Major snowstorms are predicted for the east around Jan. 20 to 23, Feb. 4 to 7 and 16 to 19, and March 1 to 3 and 20 to 23.
The Farmer’s Almanac has been making advanced forecasts using sunspot activity, tidal action, planetary position, and other “top secret mathematical and astronomical formulas.”
(Like a crystal ball?)
(So they have a ‘weather-wheel’ just like we do?)
(Of course our friends in other parts of the world are counting down the days until January!)
-Farmer’s Almanac


1945 [72] Steve Kroft, Kokomo IN, CBS News correspondent (“60 Minutes” since 1989)

1963 [54] Tori Amos, Newton NC, rock singer (“Winter”, “All These Earthquakes”)

1967 [50] Ty Burrell, Grants Pass OR, TV actor (‘Phil Dunphy’ on “Modern Family” since 2009)

1970 [47] Giada DeLaurentiis, Rome, Italy, TV chef (“Giada at Home”)/Culinary Hall of Fame (2012)

1972 [45] Paul Doucette, North Huntington PA, pop-rock guitarist (Matchbox Twenty-3A.M.”, “Unwell”)

1973 [44] Howie Dorough, Orlando FL, pop singer (Backstreet Boys-”I Want It That Way”)

1973 [44] Kristen Wiig, Canandaigua NY, movie actress (“Bridesmaids”)/TV comic (“Saturday Night Live” 2005-12) COMING UP…Where’d You Go, Bernadette, 2018

1974 [43] Bo Koster, Louisville KY, rock keyboardist (My Morning Jacket-”Friends Again”)

1975 [42] Dean Back, Delta BC, rock bassist-vocalist (Theory Of a Deadman-“Lowlife”)

1978 [39] Jeff (Jean Francois) Stinco, Montréal QC, rock guitarist (Simple Plan-“Crazy”)

1978 [39] James Corden, London UK, TV host (“The Late Late Show” since 2015, “70th Tony Awards” 2016)/stage actor 2012 Tony Award for “One Man, Two Guvnors”)

• “Eat a Peach Day”, the best way being while standing under a peach tree immediately after picking it, with the juice running down your arm.

• “Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day”, a time for everyone Down Under to go outdoors at noon and yell ‘Hoodie-Hoo!’ to chase away Winter and make ready for Spring.

• “Tooth Fairy Day”, honoring the tradition of bartering molars for moolah. Where’s it come from?  No one knows for sure but there was a fairy tale in 18th-Century France about a ‘tooth mouse’ who hides under a pillow. The tooth fairy as we now know her didn’t make an appearance until the early 1900s, as a generalized ‘good fairy’ with a professional specialization. So how much is she paying for prime enamel these days?

• “Bao Day”, at first, one might consider it to be just a simple steamed bun. Dumplings aside, this is the flavorful Chinese dough used to make bāozi, or bao, and is stuffed with savory meats or sweets.  More than a side dish, bao is a type of sandwich which has been gaining popularity in the United States.

• “Pecan Torte Day”, Do you know these ‘Pecan Fast Facts’?  No peekin’!
○Pecans provide nearly 10 percent of the recommended Daily Value for zinc. If the body does not get enough zinc, it may have difficulty producing testosterone – a key hormone in initiating sexual desire in both men and women.
○ Pecan trees usually range in height from 70 to 100 feet, but some grow as tall as 150 feet or higher.
○ It would take 11,624 pecans, stacked end to end, to reach the top of the Empire State Building in New York City.
○ Texas adopted the pecan tree as its state tree in 1919.  In fact, Texas Governor James Hogg liked pecan trees so much that he asked if a pecan tree could be planted at his gravesite when he died.
○ Albany, Georgia, which boasts more than 600,000 pecan trees, is the pecan capital of the U.S.  Albany hosts the annual National Pecan Festival, which includes a race, parade, pecan-cooking contest, the crowning of the National Pecan Queen and many other activities.

[Wed] Buttered Corn Day
[Wed] Hug Your Sweetheart Day
[Wed] Valentino Day
[Thurs] Can Opener Day
[Thurs] Knife Day
[Thurs] Waffle Day

2006 [11] Paramount Pictures severs all ties with actor Tom Cruise after 14 years, citing ‘bizarre antics’ (sofa-jumping) and ‘erratic behavior’ off-screen (BS translation: Scientology) Oh, but look who is behind his latest film!

2011 [06] Nick Ashford, half of the husband-and-wife songwriting/production team Ashford & Simpson, dies of complications from throat cancer at age 70

1989 [28] British Telecom unveils world’s 1st ‘Pocket Phone’ (that handy little drain for disposing of excess income)

2003 [14] Norwegian Elvis impersonator Kjell Bjornestad sets a new world record by performing Presley’s repertoire for 26 straight hours

2007 [10] Texas Rangers rout Baltimore Orioles 30-3, the most runs scored in modern Major League Baseball history


✓ A group of porcupines is called a prickle.
✓ With all of today’s technology, it is still so far impossible to create a robot that understands sarcasm.
✓ About 1 out of every 2 million people will die by falling out of bed.
✓ A scientist in Antarctica managed to find a date —through Tinder — with another scientist who was camping 45 minutes away.
✓ Pandas don’t have specific spots for sleeping.  They simply fall asleep wherever they happen to be.
✓ The founders of Twitter picked that name because the dictionary defined it as ‘a short burst of inconsequential information.’

• “Transporters are working perfectly fine and will be able to resolve the problem shortly”
• “Have you tried switching it off and on again?”
• “Beam me sideways, Scottie.”
• “Sorry Captain but you’re barking up the wrong tree.”
• “Don’t you know about the bird, Spock?” “Yes.  Logic dictates that it is undoubtedly “the word”, Jim.
• “If you would have gone to LUDICROUS speed, we’d have been there by now.”
• “Yes We Khan.”
• “I’m really glad we actually stuck to the prime directive this time and just left the planet without incident”
• “We’re going to build a wall! It will be YUGE! And the Romulans will pay for it!”
• “If you like it then you shoulda put a Klingon it.”

☎ What is something that you would like to see make a comeback?

If I could describe myself with one word, it would be “rule breaker.”

Question:  60% of men say they get turned off when they see a woman do what?
Answer: Take a selfie

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

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