Wednesday, August 24, 2016 – Edition: #5803

Good Morning, Sheetheads!

★ Netflix is set to stream the upcoming new CBC-TV miniseries adaptation of Lucy Maud Montgomery’s 1908 novel “Anne of Green Gables”. The 8-episode series, titled simply “Anne”, streams globally on Netflix and airs on CBC in 2017. The script comes from Emmy Award-winning “Breaking Bad” writer Moira Walley-Beckett. The 2-hour series premiere is being directed by Niki Caro (“Whale Rider”). CBC-TV previously produced a 1985 miniseries, “Anne of Green Gables”, starring Megan Follows.
★ North Korea has its own version of Netflix, apparently. The state broadcaster KCTV has unveiled a set-top box called ‘Manbang’ that connects to state-controlled intranet and allows viewers to watch on-demand 5 TV channels, a number of documentaries about the leadership, and English or Russian language-learning material. However, experts say most North Koreans don’t actually have connectivity to the service as yet. Even so, in North Korea you can now ask your girl: “Manbang and chill?”
– #NewsFromElsewhere
★ “Celebrity Apprentice” is getting another celebrity-turned-politician to sit in Donald Trump’s former chair. Arnold Schwarzenegger is set to debut as host of what is now to be called “The New Celebrity Apprentice” when it returns for the new season. After longtime host Trump announced his US presidential campaign, NBC-TV confirmed he would not be returning to the series. Movie star Schwarzenegger has been active in politics for years, serving as California governor 2003-11.
★ Call her Professor Banks. Next Summer one of the most famous models in the world is teaching a course at Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business. Tyra Banks (“America’s Next Top Model”) has announced she’s co-teaching a course called “Project You: Building and Extending Your Personal Brand” beginning in May. She’ll lead the class alongside Allison Kluger, a management professor with a background in television, including producing gigs with “The View” and “Good Morning America”.
– “Wall Street Journal”

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Voting results reveal which acts will be advancing to the semi-finals.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Lindsey Stirling (“Brave Enough”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Steven Tyler (“We’re All Somebody from Somewhere”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Robert Randolph (“Lickety Split”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Elliphant (“Living Life Golden”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Anthrax (“Split EP”).
• “Late Show With Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global) – Kip Moore (“Wild Ones”).
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Gloria Estefan (“Playlist”); Mel B (Spice Girls). Rerun.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Moby (“Long Ambients 1: Calm. Sleep.”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Florida Georgia Line (“Dig Your Roots”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – Culture Club’s Boy George (“Tribes”). Rerun.

• Ariana Grande – Speculation over her relationship with Mac Miller heated up over the weekend when he joined her onstage at the 2016 Billboard Hot 100 Festival in NYC, The twosome was first linked in 2013 and earlier this month rumors of a relationship began again. Sources say they are now officially dating.
• The Black Keys – Frontman Dan Auerbach is being sued after bailing on a planned documentary about Chicago blues icon Howlin’ Wolf. Producers at Smokestack Lightning Inc have filed a lawsuit alleging Auerbach drove up the film’s costs, then abruptly quit the project.
• John Legend – He’s developing an as-yet-untitled TV series focused on ‘Black Wall Street’, the name given to the Greenwood neighborhood in Tulsa OK that was one of the wealthiest black communities in America up until the 1920s.
• Kings Of Leon – They’ve confirmed their 7th studio album is called “Walls” and say it will be released soon, though no exact date has been mentioned.
• Oasis – Liam Gallagher tells “Q” magazine he wants an Oasis reunion “for the fans”. Although the band broke up in 2009 after a furious fight between Liam and his brother Noel, Liam confirms he’s now open to a comeback.
• Zac Brown Band –They made history over the weekend by playing 2 back-to-back SRO shows at Fenway Park in Boston MA. And including last Friday’s concert at NYC’s Citi Field, the band performed for 111,500 fans in just 3 nights.

According to researchers at Australia’s University of Tasmania people with gaps between their Facebook selves and their real selves are more likely to feel isolated and stressed than people who keep it real. Previous studies have found that having our true selves acknowledged and validated in person is linked to happiness and better self-esteem. Now it seems the same is true for online interactions. People who stay true online are significantly more likely to feel socially connected and less likely to be stressed. Important to note: the study found an association, not a causation: it could be that being yourself on Facebook makes you happier; it could also be that people who are happier feel more comfortable sharing their lives. (And it also could be that the happiest of all are no longer on Facebook.)
– @MentalFloss

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 76% of women have given their partner a ‘to-do list’ (or ‘honey do list’).
• 70% of women say they’d rather clean the bathroom than shop for a bathing suit.
• 65% of same-sex siblings have fought over borrowing clothing without asking.
• 42% say of men admit they’ve fallen asleep while getting a haircut.
• 40% of consumers ignore food recalls.
• 12% of us say trying to use self-checkout lanes makes us feel stupid.

It looks like Colonel Sanders has another secret recipe … for SPF-30. KFC has created a limited-edition ‘Extra Crispy Sunscreen’ that leaves users smelling like fried chicken. It works just like regular sunscreen, but gives off the scent of fried chicken. The ‘Extra Crispy Sunscreen’ was available for free via KFC’s website, but it appears that supplies have now run out. Hopefully the lucky few read the disclaimer indicating the product is not “finger-lickin’ good”. Smells like chicken, tastes like sunscreen. (Some of us have chicken legs without ever using this stuff.)
– “Entertainment Weekly”

Cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Electricity Gap’ – A substantial difference in electricity use, cost, and availability, particularly between urban and rural areas or between first- and third-world countries.
• ‘Peak Stuff’ – The point at which consumers in developed countries cease to desire or require so many new acquisitions. At this point, you have reach ‘peak stuff’.
• ‘Postmateriality’ – Referring to today’s digital age, after materials such as film, tape, and DVDs have virtually stopped being used to record sound and images.

Facebook has launched the new Lifestage app aimed at high school teens. Members of Lifestage (currently only available on Apple devices in the US) upload pictures and videos based around feelings, likes, and dislikes. These are then turned into video profiles. All posts are public and there are no options to restrict viewing. The idea is to connect members of the same school, who can view each other’s profiles once the individual school has registered 20 or more members. Users aged 21 or over are only able to view their own profiles. However the new app warns that it cannot guarantee whether all its users are genuine. Comments at the iTunes store describe the app as “kinda sorta creepy” and “confusing”. (Next!)

There’s a bracelet you can wear that automatically gives you caffeine.


1945 [71] Vince McMahon, Pinehurst NC, CEO of World Wrestling Entertainment since 1980 (originally World Wrestling Federation)

1973 [43] Dave Chappelle, Washington DC, comedian/TV personality (“Chappelle’s Show” 2003-05)/movie actor (“Block Party”, “Blue Streak”)

1976 [40] Alex O’Loughlin, Canberra, Australia, TV actor (‘Steve McGarrett’ on “Hawaii Five-O” since 2010)

1988 [28] Rupert Grint, Watton-at-Stone UK, movie actor (‘Ron Weasley’ in the “Harry Potter” films) UP NEXT: Stars in a TV re-make of Guy Ritchie’s hit gangster film “Snatch”. The straight-to-series drama is set to stream on Crackle.

• “Air Guitar World Championships”, the Grand Final of the 21st annual competition through Friday in Oulu, Finland, in which fake strummers from around-the-world compete for big prizes.

• “Peach Pie Day”, honoring the seasonal dessert made from flour, sugar, butter, and freshly-picked juicy peaches. Yummers!

• “Single-Parent Family Day”, intended as an opportunity to plan something special to do as a family because when you’re a single parent it’s hard to find time for fun and relaxation.

• “Waffle Day”, celebrating the anniversary of the invention of the ‘Waffle Iron’ by Cornelius Swartwout of Troy NY on this day in 1869. Other inventions attributed to today’s date include ‘Potato Chips’ (Chef George Crum, Saratoga Springs NY in 1853) and the ‘Motion Picture Camera’ (Thomas Edison in Menlo Park NJ, 1891). It’s no wonder August is tagged “National Inventors’ Month”.

• “Weather Cliché Day”, marking the date in 1897 when editor Charles Dudley Warner of the “Hartford Courant” published the quip, “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” Which weather cliché is the worst?

2014 [02] Richard Attenborough, English actor (“Jurassic World”), director (“A Bridge Too Far”), and producer (“Gandhi”), dies in London at age 90

1981 [35] Mark David Chapman is sentenced in NYC to serve 20 years-to-life in prison for the assassination of music icon John Lennon (his parole attempts have failed repeatedly)

2008 [08] Leona Lewis and Jimmy Page perform the Led Zeppelin classic “Whole Lotta Love” during the closing ceremony of the 2008 Beijing Olympics at Birds Nest Stadium

2010 [06] “Teenage Dream”, Katy Perry’s 2nd major-label album, is released

2006 [10] A meeting of 424 astronomers demotes the former planet Pluto to ‘dwarf planet status’ (it had been designated a planet since its discovery in 1930)

2011 [05] Tim Cook becomes Apple CEO after Steve Jobs resigns due to health issues (later dies at age 56 from pancreatic cancer)

2002 [14] Petri Valta of Finland outdistances 90 other contestants from 7 countries by hurling a Nokia 5510 cellphone 219 feet to set a new world record at the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships in Savonlinna, Finland

2012 [04] After his decision not to contest charges of doping, US cyclist Lance Armstrong learns he’s to be stripped of his record 7 Tour de France titles and banned from racing for life

[Thurs] Kiss & Make Up Day
[Thurs] Whiskey Sour Day
[Fri] Toilet Paper Day
[Fri] Women’s Equality Day
This Week Is … Organic Brewers Week
This Month Is … Panini Month


✗ So you can have a ‘gender reveal’ party.
✗ To get access to the colored plastic ball pit at McDonald’s.
✗ For all of the birthday party cake you get to eat.
✗ So you can go to kids’ movies without the judgement.
✗ To handle telemarketers.
✗ So you can buy kids’ food without the judgement.
✗ To buy toys guilt-free.
✗ For stand-up comedy material.
✗ So you can build a treehouse.
✗ To start a musical dynasty … The [your name] 5′.
– Adapted from

☎ Cultural appropriation isn’t insulting, it makes the world a better place. Agree or disagree?

Earth first! We’ll strip-mine the other planets later.

Question: More than half of us have tried to do this while on vacation … and failed.
Answer: Disconnect from social media.

It’s hard to act cool when you have to poop.

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