Monday, August 26, 2013        Edition: #5054

Another Sheetload of Bull!

✶ 55-year-old actor Alec Baldwin & 28-year-old wife Hilaria have welcome their brand new baby into the world, announcing her name via Twitter as being ‘Carmen Gabriela Baldwin’. Hilaria gave birth at NYC’s Mount Sinai Hospital on Friday. It’s her first child but is a 2nd daughter for Alec who is also dad to 17-year-old Ireland from his previous marriage to actress Kim Basinger. (Hopefully he’ll yell less at this one.)
– E! News
✶ No ‘Batman’ fans, it’s not ‘The Joker’s’ latest gag: 41-year-old Ben Affleck will replace Christian Bale as the Dark Knight in the “Man of Steel” sequel, “Batman vs Superman”. The announcement has led to the hashtag #BetterBatmanThanBenAffleck trending on Twitter. A few of the comments …
– “Ben Affleck as Batman? … Wow Hollywood, you idiots.”
– “Ben Affleck as the new Batman … no, just no.”
– “Ben Affleck as Batman?! Just when you thought that film wasn’t going to be a big enough disaster …”
The sequel, which will star Henry Cavill as ‘Superman’, is set to open in July 2015. (Other than being too old, too skinny, too mainstream, and too geeky … what’s wrong with Ben?)
– QMI Agency
✶ 42-year-old actor Jeremy Renner (“The Bourne Legacy”, “The Avengers”) is celebrating after tracking down his missing dog. ‘Hemi’ disappeared near a popular LA hiking trail in Runyon Canyon on July 19th. Renner launched a Facebook campaign with a $5,000-reward for the safe return of his French bulldog. It seems his efforts paid off as ‘Hemi’ has now been found, living with a family in Visalia, California … 190 miles (305 km) north of LA. (“Yeah, we’ve got your mutt, Mr Renner … you said 50-thou, right?”)
• And thrillseeking couple Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie have apparently enjoyed a daredevil date, renting out the entire Calabogie Motorsports Park near Canada’s capital Ottawa. There they spent an entire day racing one other in Mustangs and Porsches before switching to motorcycles. Angelina apparently came up with the idea while scoping out potential locations for her upcoming movie “Unbroken”. Word has it the twosome haven’t raced for some time so the outing ‘got their adrenaline going’. (Next they’ll be renting Yankee Stadium … to play catch.)
– “Sun on Sunday”

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Thirty Seconds to Mars (“Love Lust Faith + Dreams”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Ed Sheeran (“+”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Big Sean (“Hall of Fame”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – White Lung (“Sorry”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – 2 Chainz (“Based On A TRU Story”). Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Quinn Sullivan (“Getting There”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – J Cole (“Born Sinner”). Rerun.

• Coldplay – Their new track “Atlas”, from the soundtrack of the upcoming movie sequel “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire”, is available through most digital retailers today.
• Kanye West – Speaking on his mother-in-law-to-be Kris Jenner’s TV talk show on Friday the new dad admitted: “I’m supposed to be a musical genius, but I can’t work the car [baby] seat.”
• Lana Del Rey – She says she’s taking a 6-month hiatus from stage and studio after confessing her career has drained her of inspiration. Does one song count as a ‘career’?
• Linda Ronstadt – The ‘First Lady of Rock’ in the 1970s is no longer able to sing due to Parkinson’s disease. The 67-year-old, who sold more than 100 million albums worldwide, tells “AARP Magazine” she was diagnosed 8 months ago and now ‘can’t sing a note’.
• Luke Bryan – He has the #1 country single this week with “That’s My Kind of Night”, according to “Billboard”. The track skyrocketed to the top from #35 last week, dethroning record-setting mega-hit “Cruise” by Florida Georgia Line.
• Michael Jackson – The pop music legend’s estate allegedly owes $702 million in federal taxes and penalties, according to the Internal Revenue Service, which is accusing the estate of the late star’s assets by hundreds-of-millions of dollars.
• Motley Crue – Frontman Vince Neil tells “Billboard” they’ll do one more around-the-world tour in the Spring before calling it quits. Guitarist Mick Mars’ recent health troubles have been a factor in the decision.
• Mumford & Sons – Their “Full English” North American tour commences tonight with an SRO concert in Toronto and runs through September 11th in Simpsonville SC. Opening acts are Bear’s Den and The Vaccines.
• Queen – 22 years after Freddie Mercury died, his voice may be heard on new songs. Brian May & Roger Taylor are currently working on a couple of previously unheard tracks, with hopes of releasing them. They are also dabbling with previously unreleased duets featuring Mercury and Michael Jackson.
• Robin Thicke – According to “Billboard”, the Marvin Gaye estate has rejected a 6-figure offer to settle claims that the mega-hit “Blurred Lines” borrows from the late Motown star’s music. An official copyright dispute hasn’t even been filed yet, but with the rejection of a preemptive settlement, it looks like one may soon be on the way.

Birds seem to understand speed limits and take off further away from approaching vehicles on faster roads than on slower roads … regardless of the speed of a car. A joint University of Québec-McGill University study has found that birds typically take off when a vehicle is 15 meters (around 50 ft) away where a 50 km/hr (30 mph) speed limit is posted, whereas on a 110-km/hr (65 mph) road, they take off when a car is 75 meters (about 250 ft) away. The researchers think the birds treat cars as predators and realize that some are more dangerous than others. (Any car model named after a cat, for instance.)

Body Mass Index (BMI) isn’t an accurate measure of your health, a University of Pennsylvania expert says. Even as waistlines around-the-globe continue expanding, the new study suggests it’s time to do away with BMI as an indicator of health. Why? The calculation of weight vs height does not account for critical factors that contribute to health such where you carry your fat, or gender and racial differences in body composition. BMI also doesn’t take into consideration muscle mass, so it may incorrectly indicate obesity in someone who’s in shape. (Leading you to refer to a weightlifter as a ‘great big tub of goo’ when in fact he’s only a half-tub.)

Toys from the ‘80s we wish we could play with again …
✓ Care Bears
✓ Gummi Bears
✓ Jem & The Holograms
✓ Lady Lovely Locks & The Pixietails
✓ Muppet Babies
✓ Peaches & Cream Barbie
✓ Rainbow Brite
✓ She-Ra
✓ Strawberry Shortcake
(And which playthings do you most miss?)

Australian air carrier Qantas has sponsored the installation of ‘free wi-fi’ at Sydney’s Kingsford Smith Airport. But savvy industry observers think the primary reason for the company doing so is to collect connection data, in order to identify which big corporation websites business travelers are logging onto while waiting at the airport. By doing so, the airline could potentially uncover and tap new revenue streams. (Like lunch, there IS no free wi-fi.)

Is the person you married the ‘love of your life’? Highlights of a new poll of 2,000 married adults on the subject …
• 73% have had to ‘make do’ because the true love of their life got away.
• 46% would be willing to leave their long-term partner if ‘true love’ came along.
• 37% of men are willing to stay in their relationship for their partner’s sake.
• 17% have met the love of their life since getting together with their long-term partner.
• 14% say they are definitely NOT married to the love of their life.
(Think the ‘spark’ is necessary … or can any relationship work if you put effort in?)

Scientists in Australia are working on a hangover-proof beer. Since dehydration is one of the major causes of hangovers, the researchers are testing different brewing possibilities to develop one that keeps drinkers hydrated. So far, they’ve come up with salt-enhanced beer, which is good for curbing the need to pee and is proving one-third more effective at hydrating than traditional beers. It’s estimated that hangovers cost the economy $160-billion a year in ruined workplace productivity in the USA alone. (We need hangovers … they’re nature’s way of saying ‘that was not a good idea’.)

Scoot Airlines has introduced child-free zones. The 41-seat ‘ScootinSilence’ section of the carrier’s aircraft is verboten for kids under 12 plus passengers get more leg room, all for just an extra $18. The airline is following what may be becoming a trend. Earlier this year, Malaysian budget airline Air Asia X introduced ‘quiet zones’ on select flights. And a recent newspaper poll has found that almost 70% of travel section readers would wholeheartedly support child-free flights. (“So, you’d like a window seat … will that be screaming or non-screaming?”)

The most tweeted moment of all-time has now been verified. Twitter reports that it recorded a new record for the number of tweets in a single second on August 2nd at 11:21:50 pm Japan Standard Time. The impetus for the record was an airing on Japanese TV of the 1986 anime movie classic “Castle In the Sky”. Fans interacting with the film generated a peak of 143,199 tweets in 1 second, destroying the previous record of 33,388.

The crease under your buttocks is called the gluteal fold.
– “BBC News Magazine”


1966 [47] Dan Vickrey, Walnut Creek CA, alt-rock guitarist-vocalist (Counting Crows-“Accidentally in Love”, “Einstein On the Beach”)

1969 [44] Adrian Young, Long Beach CA, rock drummer (No Doubt-“It’s My Life”, “Hey Baby”)

1970 [43] Melissa McCarthy, Plainfield IL, TV actress (‘Molly’ on “Mike & Molly” since 2010)/movie actress (“Identity Theft”, “Bridesmaids”)

1975 [38] Tyler Connolly, Delta BC, rock singer-guitarist (Theory Of a Deadman-“Bad Girlfriend”, “No Surprise”)

1980 [33] Macaulay Culkin, NYC, former child star (“Home Alone”, “Uncle Buck”)/former Michael Jackson pal

1980 [33] Chris Pine, LA CA, movie actor (“Star Trek Into Darkness”, “Star Trek”)

1985 [28] Brian Kelley, Ormond Beach FL, country singer (Florida Georgia Line-“Get Your Shine On”, “Cruise”)

• “Make Your Own Luck Day”, a day to take affirmative action to gain control of your life. Taking responsibility for your own actions … what a concept!

• “National Dog Day”, to support, rescue, and help dogs in need.

• “Women’s Equality Day”, celebrating the civil rights movement by women that had its formal beginnings in 1848 at the world’s first women’s rights convention, in Seneca Falls NY.

1970 [43] Jimi Hendrix plays his final concert at the UK’s Isle of Wight Festival (3 weeks before his death)

1996 [17] Electronics giant Philips unveils the 1st ‘Flat TV’, which can be hung on a wall

2009 [04] Country singer Jack Ingram breaks world record for ‘Most Consecutive Radio Interviews in 24 Hours’ … 215

[Tues] Slow Art Day
[Tues] Banana Lovers Day
[Tues] Just Because Day
[Tues] Motorist Consideration Day
[Wed] Venice Film Festival begins (Italy)
[Wed] Bow Tie Day
This Week Is … Safe at Home Week
This Month Is … Panini Month


Highlight bits culled from 20 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
You’re looking for a ‘real man’ on the phone to score 1 point each for ‘yes’ answers to the following questions …
• Have you ever still been drinking when the sun came up?
• Have you ever eaten anything not normally recognized as food?
• Can you remember any of the dialogue from “The Transporter”?
• Have you ever been thrown out of a game in any sport?
• Do you have any scars longer than 3 inches?
• Have you ever had to flee naked from a woman’s bedroom when her boyfriend showed up?
• Do you own more than 2 power tools?
• Have you ever heaved after drinking too much … and then kept on drinking?
• Have you ever slept with someone whose name you didn’t know?
• Have you ever had a dental filling performed without anaesthetic?
(To qualify as ‘studly’, a score of 7 or more is necessary.)
– First published in “BS” 1999.

• Whyzit all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxis or cutting hair?
• Whyzit people who park illegally turn on their hazard lights? Do they think it makes their vehicle invisible?
• Whyzit a ‘jack-of-all-trades’ is usually unemployed in all of them?
• Whyzit we’ll keep running over a string a dozen times with a vacuum cleaner, reach down and pick it up to examine it, then put it back down to give the vacuum one more chance?
• Whyzit your car will not malfunction in the presence of a mechanic?
– First published in “BS” 2010.

☎ What funny words of wisdom do you have on you fridge?

I’ve taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me, send money.

Question: THIS is only cleaned twice a year on average, according to a recent survey.
Answer: The office fridge.

Any good strategy will seem ridiculous by the time it is implemented.

Charles Eldridge @ 100.7 The Viper [KFNS] St Louis, Missouri; Olcay Ozkan @ 96.9 Radio Armada, Ankara, Turkey; Dave Shannon @ 94.5 KOOL-FM Phoenix AZ; and Luciana @ El Rey 1360 [KKMO] Seattle, Washington.

Printer Friendly Version