Friday, August 26, 2016 – Edition: #5805

Another Sheetload of Bull!

★ A group of diehard “Gilmore Girls” fans are bringing the show’s fictional town of ‘Stars Hollow’ to life this October. “The Gilmore Girls Fan Fest” will transform Washington Depot CT, the town that inspired the TV show setting, into its fictional self. The festival will allow fans to interact with cast members and will feature “Gilmore”-themed events, such as a knit-a-thon, coffee at the hardware store, and ‘Friday Night Dinners’. The festival coincides with the new “Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life ” miniseries coming to Netflix.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ 62-year-old movie actor Dennis Quaid has moved on from his broken marriage … to a woman 32 years his junior. Quaid’s 3rd wife, Kimberly, filed for divorce in late June, and now it seems he’s romancing 30-year-old French-Canadian model Santa Auzina. The twosome have been spotted together several times in Montréal QC, where Quaid is filming his Crackle TV show “The Art of More”. Quaid is currently awaiting his divorce to be finalized.
★ Britney Spears’ remarkable life story is getting the Lifetime TV movie treatment. A bio-pic simply titled “Britney” is on the way, tracking the pop star’s ascent from her Louisiana upbringing, to stardom, to her rocky personal life in the late 2000s. Natasha Bassett (“Hail, Caesar!”) is playing the pop princess in the 2-hour film. Spears is not contributing to the project “in any way, shape or form”, according to her rep.
★ And it seems disgraced US swimmer Ryan Lochte is in talks to join “Dancing With the Stars”. While the cast of the latest edition of the reality competition series has yet to be announced and ABC-TV does not comment on casting rumors, an inside source claims Lochte may be among the front-runners. The news comes shortly after the 32-year-old has apologized for fabricating that tall-tale about being robbed during his time at the Rio Olympics.

• Afropunk Festival begins (Brooklyn NY) – Saturday-Sunday in Commodore Barry Park the lineup includes Cee Lo Green, Ice Cube, Janelle Monae, TV On The Radio, and Tyler The Creator among others.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Tonight 12 acts compete for a spot in the semifinals. Rerun.
• Breakaway Music Festival (Columbus OH) – Tonight-tomorrow the hip hop and dance fest boasts Desiigner, Rae Sremmurd, Ty Dolla $ign, Waka Flocka, Young Thug and others.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Empire Of the Sun (“Two Vines”, out October 28th). Rerun.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – Today Jason Aldean (“They Don’t Know”, out September 9th).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Plague Vendor (“Bloodsweat”). Rerun.
• “Live With Kelly” (syndicated/CTV) – Today Dan + Shay (“Obsessed”).
• “MTV Video Music Awards” (MTV) – Sunday live from NYC’s Madison Square Garden. Beyoncé leads nominations with 11, followed by Adele with 8. Performers include Ariana Grande w/Nicki Minaj, Britney Spears w/G-Eazy, Future, and Nick Jonas f/Ty Dolla $ign. Rihanna is presented the ‘Michael Jackson Video Vanguard Award’.
• Ohana Music Festival (Orange County CA) – On the bill Saturday-Sunday: Band of Horses, City & Colour, Corinne Bailey Rae, Eddie Vedder, Elvis Costello, Lana Del Rey and more.
• “The Real” (syndicated) – Today guest co-host Brandy (“Two Eleven”). Rerun.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Lianne La Havas (“Blood”). Rerun.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning DNCE (“Swaay”).

• AC/DC – The rescheduled North American dates for their “Rock or Bust World Tour” begin Saturday in Greensboro NC and conclude September 20th in Philadelphia PA. Guns N’ Roses singer Axl Rose once again fronts the legendary rockers.
• Britney Spears – Today she releases her 9th studio album, “Glory”.
• Carly Rae Jepsen – Today she’s releasing “Emotion: Side B”, in celebration of the 1st anniversary of her 3rd album “Emotion” (released August 21, 2015).
• Céline Dion – Today she’s out with a new French-language album, “Encore un soir”, her first full-length recording since 2013’s “Loved Me Back to Life”.
• Florida Georgia Line – Today they release their 3rd studio album, “Dig Your Roots”, which includes the mega-hit single “HOLY”. FGL collaborates with Backstreet Boys, Tim McGraw, and Ziggy Marley on other tracks.
• Lil Wayne – His 2nd annual “Lil Weezyana Festival” is scheduled for Saturday in New Orleans. Weezy and 2 Chainz headline the event, performing their new collaboration “Collegrove”.
• Mary J Blige – Her track “‘World’s Gone Crazy” is the new theme song for “The View” (ABC). The co-hosts – Whoopi Goldberg, Raven-Symone, Joy Behar, Candace Cameron Bure, Sara Haines, and Paula Faris – all appear in a new music video for the track.
• Prince – Those tours of Paisley Park starting in October? They’ll set you back $38.50 per ticket. They’re on sale today beginning 3 pm ET online only. No walk-up sales are allowed.
• Prophets of Rage – Today the supergroup made up of members of Rage Against the Machine, Public Enemy, and Cypress Hill offer up their 1st official release, a 5-song EP titled “The Party’s Over”. They’re currently on tour, playing Holmdel NJ, Brooklyn NY, and Uncasville CT this weekend.
• 3 Doors Down – Their “Us & The Night” tour kicks off tonight in Charleston WV and runs through October 8th in Charlotte NC before the band heads overseas to Europe.

• “Blood Father” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): In his 1st film since 2014’s “The Expendables 3”, Mel Gibson stars as an ex-con who reunites with his estranged 16-year-old daughter to protect her from drug dealers who are trying to kill her. Co-stars Erin Moriarty, Diego Luna, Michael Parks. With this film, Gibson solidifies his new stature as a B-movie star.
• “Don’t Breathe” ( R-Rated Horror Thriller ): A group of friends break into the house of a wealthy blind man, thinking they’ll get away with the perfect heist. It turns out … they’re dead wrong. Stars Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette, Daniel Zovatto. Director Fede Alvarez (“Evil Dead”).
• “Mechanic: Resurrection” ( R-Rated Action Thriller ): Jason Statham is back as ‘Arthur Bishop’, whose most formidable foe kidnaps the love of his life. Now he’s forced to travel the globe to complete 3 impossible assassinations, and make them look like accidents. Co-stars Jessica Alba, Tommy Lee Jones, Michelle Yeoh. Followup to “The Mechanic” (2011).
• Opening in limited release: “Hands of Stone” (Sports Bio); “The Hollars” (Romantic Comedy);
“In Order of Disappearance” (Action Comedy); “The Intervention” (Dramedy); “Mia Madre” (Drama); and “Southside with You” (Romantic Drama).

Japan is looking at making medals for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics … from old electronics. The country’s Olympic organizing committee says there’s more than enough precious metal in electronic waste as Japan throws away approximately 650,000 tons of electronics every year. However, only about 100,000 tons of that is currently recycled and most metals from recycled electronics go toward making new electronics. Organizers are now trying to figure out how to increase recycling. Using the tiny bits of gold, silver, and other precious metals found inside tech would make up for Japan’s lack of mineral resources and bolster the next Olympics theme of ‘a sustainable future’. (Someday an athlete could be wearing your playlist around her neck.)

Want to breathe easier indoors? Get houseplants. New State University of New York research shows that, in lieu of a good ventilation system, houseplants can effectively clean chemicals like ammonia from the air. Paint, furniture, cleaning supplies, and other common household objects can also emit high quantities of harmful gases like acetone and formaldehyde. Testing of 5 different common indoor plants shows that some species are better air purifiers than others. The dracaena plant (a family of trees and succulents native to Africa) is especially effective at removing acetone (often found in nail salons) from the air. And bromeliad, the family of tropical plants that includes pineapples, may be the best general-usage air purifier, absorbing up to 80% of volatile organic compounds in the air. (The big problem is keeping your houseplants alive.)
– @MentalFloss

Shoemakers are commonly called cobblers but correctly speaking a cobbler is a shoe repairmen. A shoemaker is a cordwainer. (Remember that famous jockey Willie Cordwainer?)


1966 [50] Dan Vickrey, Walnut Creek CA, alt-rock guitarist-vocalist (Counting Crows-“Accidentally in Love”, “Einstein On the Beach”)

1969 [47] Adrian Young, Long Beach CA, rock drummer (No Doubt-“It’s My Life”, “Hey Baby”)

1970 [46] Melissa McCarthy, Plainfield IL, movie actress (“Ghostbusters”, “Bridesmaids”)/TV actress (“Mike & Molly” 2010-16)

1975 [41] Tyler Connolly, Delta BC, rock singer-guitarist (Theory Of a Deadman-“Lowlife”, “Not Meant to Be”)

1980 [36] Chris Pine, LA CA, movie actor (“Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”, “Star Trek” films) UP NEXT: “Wonder Woman” (2017).

1985 [31] Brian Kelley, Ormond Beach FL, country singer (Florida Georgia Line-“Dirt”, “Cruise”)

Rock guitarist Alex Lifeson of (Rush) is 63; TV actress Chandra Wilson (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 47; Ska bassist Tony Kanal (No Doubt) is 46; TV/movie actor Aaron Paul (“Breaking Bad”) is 37; TV actor Patrick J Adams (“Suits”) is 35; R&B singer Mario is 30.

Movie director David Fincher (“The Social Network”) is 54; Country singer Shania Twain (“You’re Still The One”) is 51; Movie actor Jack Black (“Kung Fu Panda”) is 47; TV actor Jason Priestley (“Private Eyes”) is 47; Country singer Jake Owen (“American Country Love Song”) is 35; Indie rock singer Florence Welch (Florence + The Machine) is 30; Movie actor Armie Hammer (“The Social Network”) is 30; TV actress Shalita Grant (“NCIS: New Orleans”) is 28.

• “Dog Appreciation Day”, to encourage support, rescue, and help for dogs in need.
• “Make Your Own Luck Day”, a day to take affirmative action to gain control of your life. Taking responsibility for your own actions … what a concept!
• “Women’s Equality Day”, celebrating the civil rights movement by women that had its formal beginnings in 1848 at the world’s first women’s rights convention, in Seneca Falls NY.

• “Banana Lovers Day”, an annual celebration of the fruit with appeal. Some ‘nana facts here …
• “Global Forgiveness Day”, begun in 1994 to promote the healing power of forgiveness worldwide. Take a few moments to sincerely forgive someone.
• “International Bat Night”, the 20th annual observance encouraging awareness of the way these flying mammals live, their needs, and their value. Observed in more than 30 countries.
• “Just Because Day”, a chance to do something spontaneously without rhyme nor reason. Most often in life, we do things because we have to, we want to, or they’re expected of us.
• “Motorist Consideration Day”, because a little bit of consideration by drivers will result in fewer accidents and definitely less stress.

• “Bow Tie Day”, saluting the look that involves ‘a ribbon of fabric tied around the collar in a symmetrical manner such that the 2 opposite ends form loops’.
• “Burning Man”, a weird annual celebration through September 5th. It started in 1986, when San Francisco artist Larry Harvey built a wooden effigy of the man who stole his girlfriend and burned it. Tens-of-thousands now gather in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert to throw away their clothes or don outlandish costumes and recite poetry, build avant-garde art objects, and dance all night. At the finalé, they burn a 50-ft wooden effigy of a man.
• “Cherry Turnover Day”, celebrating the yummy treat made with a little puff pastry, some cherries, some butter …. and a little more butter.
• “Crackers Over the Keyboard Day”, honoring the time-honored tradition of snacking and web surfing. What’s the worst thing you’ve spilled on your computer keyboard?
• “Go Topless Day”, an annual event on the Sunday closest to “Women’s Equality Day”, when we’re all invited to stand up for women’s right to go topless in public.
• “Radio Commercials Day”, commemorating the 1st-ever radio ad, broadcast on this date in 1922. Queensboro Realty received 10 minutes of air time on NYC station WEAF for $100.

1996 [20] Electronics giant Philips unveils the 1st ‘Flat TV’, which can be hung on a wall

2014 [02] Kate Bush makes her stage comeback at London’s Hammersmith Apollo to an ecstatic response from fans at her first live concert in 35 years (a series of 22 shows are completely sold out in less than 15 minutes)

2014 [02] It’s announced Burger King Worldwide is merging with Canadian restaurant chain Tim Hortons and moving headquarters to Canada, creating the 3rd-largest global fast-food company

2007 [09] After 2 years, the Rolling Stones play the final show of their “A Bigger Bang World Tour” at the O2 Arena in London UK, the highest grossing tour to date ($560 million)

[Mon] Individual Rights Day
[Mon] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Tues] “ACM Honors” (CBS)
[Tues] Cabernet Sauvignon Day
[Tues] Toasted Marshmallow Day
This Week Is … Minority Enterprise Development Week
This Month Is … Catfish Month


✓ Cut off the bottom of an empty sunscreen bottle. Fill it with bees. Every idiot knows the old phone-in-the-sunscreen-bottle trick.
✓ Under the cover of darkness, bury a combination safe in the shallow waters. Now you have a no-fuss, hidden spot for your wallet and keys that you can access at low tide.
✓ Place a circle of live landmines around your family’s beach blanket. Remember to mark each mine with a colorful umbrella toothpick so your children know where not to step.
✓ If you’ve forgotten to leave your rings at home, swallow them. Better they’re inside you than on the fingers of the dishonest human filth that frequents public beaches.
✓ Program your iPhone to burst into flames at the first incorrect password attempt. After all, iPhones can always be replaced.
– Thanks to Rebecca Turkewitz

☎ What is your favorite dessert? In complete detail, please.

Morning has broken. Call the repairman!

Question: 1-in-5 husbands say they’d rather have their wives do THIS at night rather than them.
Answer: Investigate a suspicious noise.

Flying is the second-greatest experience known to humanity. Landing is the first.

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