Monday, August 27, 2012        Edition: #4817

Bully For You!

WEEKEND TABLOID & BLOG BS:
• “Jersey Shore’s Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi has given birth to a son named ‘Lorenzo Dominic LaValle’. Her first child made his appearance at 3 am on Sunday morning. The pint-sized reality TV star announced her pregnancy and her engagement to boyfriend Jionni LaValle in March. 24-year-old Chilean-born Snooki’s hard-partying antics on the show were a major factor in making it a hit. (Now that ‘Snooki’ is ‘Mommy’, pulling an all-nighter takes on new meaning.)
– MTV.ca
• 35-year-old actress Anna Faris (“The Dictator”) & actor-hubby Chris Pratt (‘Andy Dwyer’ on “Parks & Recreation” since 2009) have also become new parents. But their new son ‘Jack’ arrived earlier than expected and is in a neo-natal intensive care unit, her rep confirmed Saturday. (This is likely a lot scarier than her 2006 film, “Scary Movie 4”.)
– Reuters.com
• Meantime, a rep for show biz couple Ellen DeGeneres & Portia De Rossi has refuted a “National Enquirer” report that they’re planning to have a baby via a surrogate. The story suggested the couple had asked a friend to be the surrogate mother for their child, using De Rossi’s eggs. However, their publicist says the report is ‘completely untrue’. (In the “Enquirer”? That’s shocking!)
– GossipCop.com
• 27-year-old Katy Perry has reportedly turned down a $20-million offer to join Mariah Carey on the “American Idol” judging panel, according to multiple media outlets. That’s $2 million more than Carey’s getting, and she’s currently the highest-paid judge on any TV talent show. Alanis Morissette and Nick Jonas are still rumored to be candidates to fill the vacant seats. (They drag this out on purpose to garner publicity, and darn it …. it works.)
– RadarOnline.com
• The offers just keep rollin’ in for naked-in-Vegas Brit royal Prince Harry. First “Playgirl” asked him to pose as their naked cover boy. Now adult film company Vivid Entertainment is offering him $10 million to star in a proposed XXX-rated movie to be titled “The Trouble With Harry”.  Vivid boss Steve Hirsch promises ‘the crown jewels will not be minimized in any way’. (Wouldn’t you love to be a fly on the wall in a meeting between QE2 and her grandson Harry?)
– ContactMusic.com
• Police in Frisco TX found a smashed-up truck belonging to former country music star Randy Travis early Saturday morning, but his lawyer claims Travis hasn’t been in the vehicle for months. The find comes just a day after Travis was cited for assault, allegedly fueled by alcohol,  outside a church in nearby Plano. His recent string of antics also include an August 7th DUI arrest, shortly after he reportedly demanded smokes in a convenience store … while buck naked. (The guy’s on a mission.)
– TMZ.com

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:

• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Silversun Pickups (“Neck Of the Woods”). They kick off a new leg of touring in Calgary, Alberta on September 1st.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Rihanna (“Talk That Talk”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Poliça (“Give You the Ghost”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Maroon 5 (“Overexposed”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Neon Trees (“Picture Show”).
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host Trisha Yearwood. Rerun.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – Joshua Radin (“Underwater”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:

• The Beatles – On October 8th, they’re releasing a restored version of their classic 1967 film, “Magical Mystery Tour” on DVD and Blu-Ray. There will also a combined deluxe box set featuring both versions, along with a 60-page book.
• Green Day – They made a surprise appearance at the UK’s “Reading Festival” over the weekend, playing their 1994 album “Dookie” in its entirety. They’ll be embarking on a full UK tour next year.
• Katy Perry – She reportedly spent a wild girls’ night out in LA to help recover from her rumored split with singer John Mayer. She was reportedly left heartbroken after Mayer ended their short-lived romance. With his track record, she should have been expecting it.
• Kings Of Leon – Bassist Jared Followill says they’re close to starting work on the follow-up to their 2010 album “Come Around Sundown”. They’ve already been meeting with producers to start the ball rolling on a 6th studio album.
• Linkin Park – Their debut 2001 album “Hybrid Theory” is the latest to receive the coveted ‘Diamond Award’ as it has now sold 10 million copies, according to Nielsen SoundScan. It’s only the 20th album to do so since SoundScan began tracking sales in 1991.
• Papa Roach – They’ve been forced to cancel the remainder of their scheduled dates on the “Rockstar Energy Drink Uproar Festival” tour as frontman Jacoby Shaddix has been diagnosed with a nodule on his left vocal cord and will undergo corrective surgery.

THE MONDAY MYTH:

We may say we hate Mondays, but new Stony Brook University research suggests Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays are equally loathed. A new poll of some 340,000 people has found that our moods are no worse on Monday than other working day …. except for Friday.
Lead researcher Arthur Stone says the results indicate we should dump our belief that Mondays are especially lousy. However, the idea that weekend’s are best still stands up – people report more enjoyment and happiness and less stress or worry on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. (The biggest trouble with Monday is … it follows Sunday.)
– BBC Health

ANCIENT GRILLING:

Why is it that men who would never think of whipping up a full-course meal in the kitchen are only too willing to don a chef’s hat and dorky apron to grill ribs and steaks and burgers on a barbecue? Sociologists say that’s because man’s desire to barbecue is a primal instinct. It dates all the way back to Stone Age times when men hunted animals and then cooked their meat for their families. (They still have no explanation for why men like to drink too much beer and then whiz on the coals of a campfire.)
– AP

OSCAR PROGNOSTICATIONS:
Daniel Day-Lewis is being hyped as a slam-dunk Oscar candidate for ‘Best Actor’ playing 16th US president Abraham Lincoln in Steven Spielberg’s new film, “Lincoln” (opening November 16). Besides “Lincoln”, other candidates for Oscar noms are expected to be …
✓Clint Eastwood’s “Trouble With the Curve” (September 21).
✓”Argo”, Ben Affleck’s latest as director & star (October 12).
✓Brad Pitt has been getting great notices for “Killing Them Softly” (October 19).
✓PT Anderson’s much-anticipated “The Master” (September 21).
✓”Anna Karenina” (November 16).
✓”The Life of Pi” (November 21).
Also being watched are end-of-year releases such as …
✓”Hyde Park on Hudson” (December 7).
✓”Les Miserables” (December 14).
✓”The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey” (December 14).
✓ “Django Unchained” (December 25).
– Condensed from QMI Agency

COUCH POTATO GENE:
Scientists at the University of Glasgow in Scotland say they believe there may be a gene for ‘laziness’, which could partly explain why some people just don’t like or can’t tolerate hard work and/or exercise. If true, it would seem to suggest that the difference between go-getters and laid-back loafers may be more a matter of genetics rather than just plain attitude. (Try mentioning this to your boss at raise time.)
– PA News

BS AMAZING FACT:

Cucumber sandwiches can regulate body temperature during a heat wave.
– “Daily Telegraph”

BS CHRONOMETER 08.27.12


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1953 [59] Alex Lifeson (Zivojinovich), Fernie BC, rock singer-guitarist (Rush-“One Little Victory”, “Test for Echo”)

1969 [43] Chandra Wilson, Houston TX, TV actress (‘Dr Miranda Bailey’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2005)

1970 [42] Colt Ford (Jason Farris Brown), Athens GA, country rapper-musician (“Declaration of Independence”)/songwriter (“Dirt Road Anthem”, “Country Must Be Country Wide”)

1970 [42] Tony Kanal, Kingsbury UK, rock bassist (No Doubt-“It’s My Life”, “Underneath It All”)  BS FACTOID: The new album “Push & Shove” is out September 25th.

1979 [33] Aaron Paul (Sturtevant), Emmett ID, TV actor (‘Jesse Pinkman’ on “Breaking Bad” since 2009)

1981 [31] Patrick J Adams, Toronto ON, TV actor (‘Mike Ross’ on “Suits” since 2011)

1979 [33] Sarah Neufeld, Courtenay BC, indie rock musician (Arcade Fire-“Ready to Start”, “We Used to Wait”)

1986 [26] Mario (Barrett), Baltimore MD, R&B-pop singer (“Break Up”, “Let Me Love You”)/movie actor (“Freedom Writers”, “Step Up”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .

• “Banana Lovers Day”, an annual celebration of the fruit with appeal. A few banana facts here …
NET: http://www.punchbowl.com/holidays/banana-lovers-day

• “Burning Man”, a weird annual celebration through September 3rd. It started in 1986, when San Francisco artist Larry Harvey was bitter about losing his girlfriend to another man. He built a wooden effigy, then burned it. Nowadays, some 20,000 gather in Nevada’s Black Rock Desert, throw away their clothes or don outlandish costumes and recite poetry, build avant-garde art objects, and dance all night. At the finalé, they burn a 50-foot wooden effigy of a man.
NET: http://www.burningman.com

• “Global Forgiveness Day”, begun in 1994 to promote the healing power of forgiveness worldwide. Take a few moments to sincerely forgive someone. And make it public. That way forgiveness will spread. Or so they say.

• “Just Because Day”, a chance to do something spontaneously without rhyme or reason. Most often in life, we do things because we have to, we want to, or they’re expected of us. None of those reasons apply on this day.

• “Petroleum Day” (aka Oil & Gas Industry Appreciation Day), honoring the first successful American oil well, drilled near Titusville PA 153 years ago today (1859). That’s when many of today’s problems began.
BS REASONS WE APPRECIATE THE PETROLEUM INDUSTRY:
– The intriguing phenomenon of seeing gooey, black birds on a beach.
– The sweet aroma of refineries and chemical plants, smugly referred to as the ‘smell of money’.
– Continually jacking the price of gasoline up & down at will for no apparent reason.
– The industry’s ongoing effort throughout it’s history to eliminate mass transit and block the development of alternative fuels.
– Keeping the world nice and warm, thanks to greenhouse gas emissions from cars.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .

1992 [20] John Lennon’s original handwritten lyrics for The Beatles’ “A Day In the Life” fetch $87,000 at a Sotheby’s auction.

TODAY’S FIRST . . .

2007 [05] Then highest-paid NFL star, Michael Vick (Atlanta Falcons QB), pleads guilty in dogfighting case; is sentenced to 23 months in prison

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .

1982 [30] ‘Largest Apple Pie’, weighing 30,115 lbs, is baked in a 40-by-23 ft dish by TV chef Glynn Christian in Chelsfield, England

1982 [30] Oakland Athletics outfielder Rickey Henderson steals his 119th base of the year, breaking Hall of Famer Lou Brock’s 1979 Major League Baseball record for stolen bases in a season (goes on to finish season with 130 steals, a single-season record that still stands)

AND REMEMBER . . .

[Tues] Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day
[Tues] Radio Commercials Day
[Wed] “Lawless” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] International Day Against Nuclear Tests
[Wed] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Wed] XIV Paralympics Games open (London)
This Week Is … Be Kind to Humankind Week
This Month Is … Children’s Eye Health & Safety Month

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
A highlight bit culled from 19 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
FAMOUS LAST WORDS:
• “Let me just reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.”
• “Gee, that’s a cute tattoo.”
• “It’s fireproof.”
• “Are you sure the power’s off?”
• “Ha! They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist . . .”
• “I’m making a Citizen’s Arrest!”
• “It’s ALWAYS sunny there this time of the year.”
• “Gimme a match. I think my gas tank is empty.”
– First published in “BS” 2002.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ Should teachers have dress codes?

BS RANDOM JOKE:

I’ve trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine. He’s a Bordeaux collie.

BS U-PICK TRIVIA:

• Which is the only freshwater lake in the world that has sharks?
a. Lake Erie.
b. Lake Nicaragua. [CORRECT, the biggest lake in Central America.]
c. Lake Titicaca.

• Which culinary treat is made by fermenting vinegar and hot peppers in a French oak barrel for 3 years?
a. Tabasco Sauce. [CORRECT]
b. Worcestershire [‘WOOST-a-sure’] Sauce.
c. Pop Tarts.
– “Totally Trivial”

BS WEB GOODIE:

Feeling sleepy and also have chapped lips? Thanks goodness for caffeinated lip balm!
NET: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/78e4/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:

Question: About half of dentists find THIS habit of patients extremely annoying.
Answer: Answering a cellphone while in the chair.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

WELCOME NEWBIES:
Mike Waters @ 102.5 The Bone [WHPT] Tampa, Florida; Chris Koppin @ KX96 [CJKX] Oshawa, Ontario; George Luckingstal @ Country 106.5 [WYRK] Buffalo, New York; Carl Guzman @ 103.5 K-Lite [DWKX] Manila, The Philippines; and Craig Beck @ Rock FM Preston UK. Welcome, all!


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