Wednesday, August 28, 2013        Edition: #5056

Thanks For Being a Bull Market!

✶ Forget everything you’ve just heard … producer Dr Luke will NOT be joining the judge’s panel on “American Idol” despite earlier reports he’d be sitting alongside Keith Urban & Jennifer Lopez when the 13th season begins. What’s the prob? Reportedly it’s a conflict of interest between Universal Music Group, which has a distribution deal with “American Idol”, and Sony Music, the label Dr Luke has been signed to since 2011. Insiders say it would make no sense for the good Dr to spend months nurturing talent for a rival label. (At least, that’s today’s story.)
✶ “Breaking Bad” star Bryan Cranston has been cast as ‘Lex Luthor’ in the upcoming “Man Of Steel” sequel. The 57-year-old actor has reportedly signed a deal tying him to at least 6 films as the arch-nemesis of ‘Superman’. Earlier this year, Cranston urged the producers to consider him for the role; it looks like they were listening. It’s thought that Warner Bros will officially make the casting announcement after the “Breaking Bad” series finalé. (One of the few actors in Hollywood who is so respected he can just ask for a role … and get it.)
✶ 53-year-old Simon Cowell is reportedly considering naming his baby either ‘Eric’ or ‘Erica’, in tribute to his father who died of a heart attack at age 81 in 1999. The media mogul is expecting his first child via NYC socialite Lauren Silverman, who has joined him on his yacht near St Tropez, France. She’s apparently not committed to the name but is giving it consideration. Eric Cowell worked for music label EMI and helped Simon land his first job in the mail room, from which he worked his way up. (Simon has often referred to his pop as ‘a brilliant mentor’.)
– “Daily Star”
✶ And Lamar Odom’s agent Jeff Schwartz says this week’s missing persons story was hokum, insisting: “Lamar is not missing. His wife knows exactly where he is.” ESPN reports the LA Clippers basketball player has been staying at a Los Angeles hotel since being given the boot by wife Khloe Kardashian last week. Word has it he’s under the guidance of friends, who are trying to control his drug habit. Insiders say the Odom-Kardashian union is nearing the breaking point. (The reason the ‘K-people’ have gone into media control mode.)

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – 6 acts advance to the next round; performances by One Direction and Cassadee Pope.
• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“The Heist”).
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Houndmouth (“From the Hills Below the City”). Rerun.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Bonnie Raitt (“Slipstream”). Rerun.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Palma Violets (“180”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Milo Greene (“Milo Green”). Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – In the Valley Below (“Peaches”).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (ABC/CTV) – Mariah Carey (“The Art Of Letting Go”, later this year).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/CTV2) – SkyBlu (“Rebel Music”).
• Venice Film Festival (Venice, Italy) – Tonight the 70th annual movie gala on the Venice Lido opens with the sci-fi film “Gravity”, starring George Clooney & Sandra Bullock as astronauts on an ill-fated mission. Director Bernardo Bertolucci leads the jury presenting this year’s ‘Golden Lion’ for best film. Director William Friedkin (“The French Connection”, “The Exorcist”) receives a Lifetime Achievement Award. The festival runs until September 7th.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – The Stellas (“The Stellas”). Rerun.

• Drake – He’s being sued for $76,490 by his former stylist, Michael Raphael, who claims he hasn’t been reimbursed for expenses he incurred, including shopping trips and airfares. Drake hired the stylist in August 2012 to consult on his OVO clothing line.
• Ellie Goulding – She’s atop the UK pop singles chart for a 2nd week in-a-row with “Burn”.
• Green Day – They’re confirmed for Australia’s Soundwave Festival, which will hit 5 cities Down Under in February and March. Also on the bill: AFI, Alice In Chains, Avenged Sevenfold, Rob Zombie, and Stone Temple Pilots w/Chester Bennington.
• Jay Z – He intervened in a bust-up between Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs and J Cole following a heated exchange at an “MTV Video Music Awards” after-party Sunday night at NYC’s Dream Hotel. Mr Z apparently had to pull the warring pair apart, according to “New York Daily News”.
• Lady Gaga – Gossip-monger Perez Hilton tells Sydney’s 2Day FM her recent behavior towards him has made him sad and he doesn’t think they can repair their friendship. Gaga has accused him of stalking for looking at an apartment in the same NYC building. Perez claims that’s just backlash because he criticized her music, in particular her new single “Applause”.
• Paramore – They’re the latest band to launch their own branded cruise. The ‘Parahoy!’ Caribbean jaunt sets sail next March 7-11 from Miami FL. Tegan & Sara are the first special guests to be announced.
• Tim McGraw – The Academy of Country Music has announced a $700,000 charity contribution on behalf of the artists who participated in “ACM Presents: Tim McGraw’s Superstar Summer Night” in Las Vegas in April. Over 11 million viewers watched the ensuing special on CBS-TV.

“Closed Circuit” ( R-Rated Crime Thriller ): Eric Bana & Rebecca Hall play 2 ex-lovers on a criminal defense team working on a high-profile terrorism case. It not only tests the limits of their loyalties but places their lives in jeopardy. Co-stars Jim Broadbent, Ciarán Hinds.

A new ranking based on estimated total income over the past year …
5. Media personality Glenn Beck … $90 million.
4. Author James Patterson … $91 million.
3. [tie] “50 Shades of Grey” author EL James / radio-TV personality Howard Stern / media mogul Simon Cowell … $95 million.
2. Filmmaker Steven Spielberg …$100 million.
1. Madonna …$125 million.

A statistical look at who we are and the things we do …
• 65% of men say Crocs look unattractive on women.
• 62% of homeowners say they have NEVER watered their lawn.
• 60% of people say a Frisbee is a must-have at a picnic.
• 28% of guys will ask a date if she’d mind helping out with the bill.
• 27% of women say they would change their laugh if they could.
• 25% of women have clothes in their closet that don’t fit … but keep them anyway.

A French consumer magazine reports that e-cigarettes contain a significant quantity of carcinogen in their vapor that has so far gone undetected. The battery-powered faux smokes use heat to vaporize liquid nicotine, but contain no tobacco and produce no smoke, thus evading anti-smoking regulations. However, using a new method of testing researchers have found that in 30% of samples studied the level of the known carcinogen formaldehyde comes close to the amount in conventional cigarettes. (What a surprise … sucking unnatural crap into your lungs isn’t healthy.)

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Apostrofly’ – What puritan linguists are calling an errant or misplaced apostrophe, particularly one that seems to have been added randomly to the text. (For example: “We used to do that in the 90’s, but it’s attractiveness has worn off.” 90’s should be ‘90s. It’s is short for ‘It is’.)
• ‘Bigorexia’ – A new term for the condition that makes people (mostly men) obsessively bulk up. Like anorexia, it’s dangerous. Treatment for the disorder includes therapy and social support.
• ‘Guerrilla Proofreading’ – Marking up a public sign to correct or point out a grammatical error or typo. Jeff Deck & Benjamin Herson have made a book out it: “The Great Typo Hunt: Two Friends Changing the World, One Correction at a Time”.

Crowd-sourced data shows there’s a correlation between deliciousness and more ingredients when it comes to sandwiches. Each time the number of sandwich ingredients increases, there is a modest increase in the perceived tastiness. But, not surprisingly, making sandwiches more elaborate also makes them harder to handle. The most popular sandwich ingredients, according to this unscientific survey …
✓ Cheese … 18%
✓ Bacon … 17%
✓ Tomato … 12%
✓ Ham … 10%
✓ Lettuce … 9%
(More stuff tastes better? Once more, with filling!)

Baseball’s worst team is the most profitable in history. The Houston Astros are on pace to rake in an estimated $99 million in operating income this season. That’s nearly as much as the estimated operating income of the previous 6 World Series championship teams … combined.
– “Forbes”


1965 [48] Shania Twain (Eilleen Edwards), Windsor ON, pop-country singer (“Party For Two”, “You’re Still The One”)/Las Vegas entertainer

1969 [44] Jack Black, Hermosa Beach CA, movie actor (“Kung Fu Panda” movies, “School of Rock”)/sorta rock singer (Tenacious D)

1981 [32] Jake Owen, Vero Beach FL, country singer (“Anywhere With You”, “Barefoot Blue Jean Night”)

1982 [31] LeAnn Rimes, Pearl MS, country singer (“Something’s Gotta Give”, “How Do I Live”) who started singing at age 3 and has sold well over 20 million records

1986 [27] Florence Welch, London UK, indie rock singer (Florence & The Machine-“Spectrum”, “You’ve Got the Love”)

1986 [27] Armie Hammer, LA CA, movie actor (“The Lone Ranger”, ”The Social Network”)  COMING UP: “The Man from UNCLE” (2014).

1991 [22] Samuel Larsen, San Francisco CA, TV actor (‘Joe Hart’ on “Glee” since 2012)

• “Bow Tie Day”, saluting the look that involves ‘a ribbon of fabric tied around the collar in a symmetrical manner such that the 2 opposite ends form loops’. A modern bow tie is tied using a common shoelace knot. The latest to popularize the look: Justin Timberlake.

• “Cherry Turnover Day”, celebrating the yummy treat made with a little puff pastry, some cherries, some butter …. and a little more butter.

• “Crackers Over the Keyboard Day”, honoring the time-honored tradition of snacking and web surfing. What’s the worst thing you’ve spilled on your computer keyboard?

• “I Have a Dream Day”, the 50th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr’s famous 1963 speech from the steps of Washington DC’s Lincoln Memorial during the March on Washington for Jobs & Freedom. (A defining moment for the American Civil Rights Movement.)

• “La Tomatina”, the world’s largest tomato fight, celebrated on the last Wednesday in August in Buñol, Spain. Some 35,000 will hurl 120 tons of tomatoes at each other for 2 hours.

• “Radio Commercials Day”, commemorating the 1st-ever radio ad, broadcast on this date in 1922. Queensboro Realty received 10 minutes of air time on NYC station WEAF for $100. (In honor of the occasion, we’re airing a festival of our best commercials all day!)

1996 [17] After 4 years of separation, Britain’s Prince Charles & Princess Diana formally divorce

2003 [10] During her performance at the 20th “MTV Video Music Awards”, Madonna infamously plants open-mouth kisses on both Britney Spears & Christina Aguilera (more shocking than Miley Cyrus’ sleazy twerking on Sunday night’s show?)

1996 [17] 1st MLB team to invite baseball fans to ‘Bring Your Pooch To the Park’ (Chicago White Sox)

1997 [16] After a ride fails, Belgian amusement park riders are stuck upside down … for 90 minutes

[Thurs] More Herbs, Less Salt Day
[Thurs] Whiskey Sour Day
[Fri] “Getaway”; “One Direction: This Is Us” open in movie theaters
[Fri] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Sat] Bumbershoot Festival begins (Seattle WA)
This Week Is … Safe at Home Week
This Month Is … Literacy Month


• “You Look Great … Don’t Change a Thing!”
• “Best Guilt-Free Chocolate Cake Recipe, With No Ab Exercises Later in This Issue”
• “10 Healthy Foods You Aren’t Eating That are Overpriced & Just a Fad Anyway”
• “Things He Says That Are Just Off-the-Cuff Comments and Have No Deeper Meaning”
• “Impractical Fashions That Will Look Stupid on You Unless You’re 6 Ft Tall & Weigh 80 Lbs”
• “5 Perceived Problems In Your Home That Really Aren’t That Big a Deal”
• “Don’t Bother Reading This Article; It’s Just Mindless Fluff Between 87 Pages of Ads, All Designed to Make You Feel Inadequate in Some Way In Order to Sell You Something”
• “Leave Your Damn Hair the Way It Is!”
– BS original

Most of my faults are not my fault.

☎ Could you eat horsemeat? It’s low-fat, low-cost protein that’s easily sourced (Australia has some 400,000 horses running wild). Horsemeat is common in Asia and parts of Europe, so why not here? Or is it a case of how-dare-you-eat-something-with-a-name?

Some of the following statements are true, some total BS. Which are which?
• Your body shrinks as the day goes on. [TRUTH. The average person temporarily loses about an inch of height by the end of each day, then regains it by the next morning.]
• Roosters crow because the sun comes up. [BS. Hens are scratching for bugs at sunrise and the rooster is crowing to let them and other roosters know these are his hens, in his territory.]
• Sugar makes kids go bonkers. [BS. A review of 23 different studies on the subject of kids and sugar concludes that it does NOT significantly affect their behavior.]
• You can legally drink and drive in Uruguay. [TRUTH. In fact, in Uruguay intoxication is a legal excuse for having an accident while driving.]
• Cat urine glows under a black light. [TRUTH, but who the heck would ever decide to try this?]
• George Lucas’ first choice for the role of ‘Han Solo’ in “Star Wars” was actually Jon Lovitz, not Harrison Ford. [BS]
• US president Barack Obama has a third nipple, which is the source of all his charisma. [BS]
• Cosmetic surgeons can now use navels to insert breast implants without leaving a scar. [TRUTH. However your new super-stretched ‘innie’ may have an echo.]

Question: If you’re going to do THIS, you’re most likely to do it at 6:50 pm.
Answer: Have a glass of wine.

Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

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