Monday, August 29, 2016 – Edition: #5806

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Harry Connick Jr will be reunited with his “Hope Floats” co-star Sandra Bullock when the actress appears as the 1st guest on his new talk show “Harry”. The pair co-starred in the 1998 romantic drama, and are set to meet up on the debut of the former “American Idol” judge’s new series, which premieres September 12th. Amy Adams, Renée Zellweger, and “Empire” star Terrence Howard also make appearances during the syndicated show’s premiere week.
– WENN.com
★ Just 3 months after the cancellation of FOX-TV’s “The Grinder” actor Fred Savage has found another TV comedy to star in – and he’ll be joined by Cobie Smulders and Keegan-Michael Key. Netflix has ordered up 8 half-hour episodes of “Friends From College”, a comedy about a group of graduates from Harvard University who now find themselves in their 40s having experienced varying degrees of success. “Friends From College” is slated to commence production sometime this Fall.
– ComingSoon.net
★ And the ashes of late, great author Truman Capote (“Breakfast at Tiffany’s”; “In Cold Blood”) are going up for auction September 23-24 in LA. Capote left the ashes to his friend, Joanne Carson, wife of TV legend Johnny Carson. After she died, the Carson estate wasn’t sure what to do with them, and have ultimately decided to have Julien’s Auctions put them under the hammer. The ashes are contained in a Japanese carved wood box. Julien’s has previously sold off actor William Shatner’s kidney stone; Christie’s auction house once sold Napoleon’s penis.
– “Vanity Fair”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Corinne Bailey Rae (“The Heart Speaks In Whispers”).
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – DNCE (“Swaay”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Car Seat Headrest (“Teens of Denial”). Rerun.
• “Late Late Show With James Corden” (CBS/M3) – Josh Groban (“Stages”).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Troye Sivan (“Blue Neighbourhood”)
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The show celebrates 250 episodes; the top 5 dancers perform.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Meghan Trainor (“Thank You”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Lionel Richie (“Tuskegee”). Rerun.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Neil Young – The lineup for his 30th annual “Bridge School Benefit” charity concert includes
Cage the Elephant, Dave Matthews, Metallica, My Morning Jacket, Norah Jones, and Roger Waters, along with Young and his Promise Of the Real backup band. The benefit is being staged October 22-23 at the Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View CA.
• Phil Collins – Today he’s slotted to perform at the opening ceremonies for the 2016 US Open tennis tournament at Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens NY. Collins has largely remained out of the public eye since a string of solo dates in 2010.
• Ronnie Dunn – He’s releasing his new solo album, “Tattooed Heart”, on October 21st. It features the current single, “Damn Drunk”, with his old partner Kix Brooks helping out. Rascal Flatts’ Jay Demarcus is producer on 11 of the album’s 12 tracks.
• The Weeknd – Republic Records has confirmed the “Can’t Feel My Face” hitmaker is in the studio with Daft Punk. The confirmation clarifies a somewhat cryptic photo The Weeknd posted earlier this month of 2 robot figurines sitting on a stereo.

THE LONG & SHORT OF IT:
Science has found that the rate of divorce among short men is significantly less than among average-height or tall men. So, if you want your relationship to last … wed a wee guy. The New York University study also shows that short fellows are more likely to marry much younger women, and often make more money than their spouses. That’s because short men tend to use money to make up for their lack of stature. Tall men, on the other hand, get married more quickly, tend to marry more educated women, older women, and – on the upside – are more likely to do housework. (Also more able to reach that thingy on the top shelf you want.)
– Discovery.com

TICKLED PINK:
A new documentary called “Tickled” shines a spotlight on those who take part in ‘competitive endurance tickling’. New Zealand TV reporter David Farrier uncovers not just a quirky sport, but a whole industry. US-based Jane O’Brien Media has been producing online videos that show young men in professional sportswear tickling each other. The company offers substantial fees for anyone selected to take part in the shoots in LA. There’s an underside to all this – it seems tickling can be about power and can sometimes resemble torture as participants are tied down and shackled. The documentary claims some who’ve appeared in tickling videos have suffered controlling and abusive behavior. “Tickled” is now in release in the UK. (The pain of pleasure.)
– @BBCNewsEnts

‘MATERS MATTER:
Just 10 servings of tomatoes per week can help men reduce the risk of prostate cancer by almost 20%, according to a study by the universities of Bristol, Cambridge, and Oxford. A single serving is 150 g (5 oz) of tomatoes. Tomato-based pasta sauce, tomato juice, and even the tomato purée topping on pizza have all been found to have the beneficial effect. Researchers think that the protection comes from a key chemical inside known as lycopene. And there’s further good news: eating 5 portions of fruit & vegetables a day can also decrease risk by a further 24%. (Who would have thought the key to good health would be ketchup and Bloody Marys?)
– “The Independent”

BEST OF THE CENTURY:
The BBC has set out to find the best movies of the 21st century by polling 177 critics around-the-world. The top 10 …
1. “Mulholland Drive” (David Lynch, 2001)
2. “In the Mood for Love” (Wong Kar-wai, 2000)
3. “There Will Be Blood” (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2007)
4. “Spirited Away” (Hayao Miyazaki, 2001)
5. “Boyhood” (Richard Linklater, 2014)
6. “Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind” (Michel Gondry, 2004)
7. “The Tree of Life” (Terrence Malick, 2011)
8. “Yi Yi: A One and a Two” (Edward Yang, 2000)
9. “A Separation” (Asghar Farhadi, 2011)
10. “No Country for Old Men” (Joel & Ethan Coen, 2007)
– Newser.com

THE NEW NOUGAT:
Google has released Android 7.0, code-named ‘Nougat’. The new version of its mobile operating system allows 2 apps to be run on the same screen at once, and makes it possible for devices to handle more complex 3-D graphics. For now, only Nexus-branded handsets and tablets can get the update. Google says a forthcoming phone from LG will also have the software pre-installed. But other device owners will have to wait for their manufacturers to re-code. The situation poses a challenge to Google, which wants as many users as possible to upgrade. According to the firm’s own figures, only 15% of Android devices in use updated the previous version of Android, ‘Marshmallow’. (Wouldn’t you prefer ‘Nougat’ on top of your ‘Ice Cream Sandwich’?)
– TheVerge.com

A PAT ON THE HEAD GOES A LONG WAY:
Scientists who’ve trained the first group of dogs to sit still in MRI machines so that their brain activity can be measured say they’ve made a striking discovery: dogs may like attention as much as – if not more than – they like to get treats. The long accepted theory about dogs is that they just want food and their owners are simply the means to get it, but this new study suggests that dogs value human contact in and of itself. After identifying the canine brain’s reward center, researchers also observed that dogs respond more strongly to the scents of humans they know than those they don’t. They conclude that dogs who prefer praise could be ideal therapy dogs, while those who want treats could be better suited for search & rescue. (Pit bulls are bit of both … they want you to pet them so they can chew your arm off.)
– UPI.com

DID YOU KNOW?
• Professional golfers are more likely to have one egg-shaped hip joint. (The other resembles bacon?)
– “BBC News Magazine”
• Ireland’s early inhabitants came from as far away as the Middle East. (This explains the ancient O’Muhammad clan.)
– “Irish Times”
• Nose-picking has been banned by the National Capital Region Police in The Philippines. Cops are also warned not to take selfies while on-duty. (Particularly while nose-picking.)
– #NewsfromElsewhere

BS CHRONOMETER 08.29.16

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1971 [45] Carla Gugino, Sarasota FL, TV actress (“Wayward Pines” 2015-16)/movie actress (“San Andreas”, “New Year’s Eve”)

1975 [41] Kyle Cook, Frankfort IN, rock guitarist-vocalist (Matchbox Twenty-”Unwell”, “Bent”)

1980 [36] David Desrosiers, Sept-Iles QC, rock bassist (Simple Plan-”Untitled [How Could This Happen To Me?]“, “Welcome to My Life”)

1986 [30] Lea Michele (Sarfati), Bronx NY, TV actress (‘Hester Ulrich’ on “Scream Queens” since 2015, “Glee” 2009-15)

1993 [23] Liam Payne, Wolverhampton UK, boy-band pop singer (One Direction-”Best Song Ever”, “What Makes You Beautiful”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “According to Hoyle Day”, honoring Britain’s Edmond Hoyle on the anniversary of his death in 1769. He’s the guy who took the time to formalize rules to many popular games. Thus the expression ‘according to Hoyle’ has come to mean ‘playing by the rules’.

• “Individual Rights Day”, celebrated on the birth date of English philosopher and physician John Locke, who argued for the rights of each single human being.

• “International Day Against Nuclear Tests”, a UN observance to underscore the need for a unified attempt to prevent any further nuclear weapons testing.
NET: http://www.un.org/en/events/againstnucleartestsday

• “More Herbs, Less Salt Day”, because it’s ‘healthier, zestier and lustier!’ So go ahead, spice up your life! What’s the world’s most-used spice? Black pepper.

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2005 [11] 77-year-old rock ‘n roll legend Fats Domino is rescued from his 9th Ward home in New Orleans LA after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2008 [08] US presidential nominee John McCain announces Sarah Palin as his running mate, making the 44-year-old mother of 5 the 1st woman ever picked as a Republican VP candidate

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [12] Germany’s Michael Schumacher wins his 5th consecutive Formula One championship (and 7th overall), beating the 47-year-old record held by Juan Manuel Fangio

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] “ACM Honors” (CBS)
[Tues] Cabernet Sauvignon Day
[Tues] International Whale Shark Day
[Tues] Holistic Pet Day
[Tues] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Wed] Venice Film Festival opens (Italy)
[Wed] International Overdose Awareness Day
[Wed] Love Litigating Lawyers Day
[Wed] Matchmaker Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Be Kind to Humankind Week / World Water Week

BULL’S BITS

BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 23 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
THE AGONY OF DA FEET:
How far do you walk per day? Average daily mileage by profession –
• Doctor (6.25 miles)
• Administrative Assistant (6.75)
• College Student (18)
• Police Officer (18.3)
• Letter Carrier (24.4)
• Sales Rep (25.75)
• Restaurant Server (27.25)
• Homemaker (28)
A couple that were missing – Slug (0.5), Radio Personality (0.1).
– First published in “BS” 2001.

MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:
• Are goats just all-terrain sheep?
• Can Viagra be categorized as a ‘recreational drug’?
• Was Michael Jackson buried, cremated, or recycled?
• If ‘Batman’ bought a bat as a pet, would he call it the ‘Bat-Bat’?
• How many world records have been broken but were never recorded or witnessed?
– First published in “BS” 2014.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What store has the best return policy? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever taken back … and gotten away with?

BS ‘WHAT’S ITS’:
Ask a contestant to pick the correct meaning for the following terms …
• What is a ‘skelock’ [SKEE-lawk]?
a. Wild Irish rose.
b. Wild Scottish radish. [CORRECT]
c. Wild Australian marijuana.

• What is a ‘sackbutt’ [SACK-butt]?
a. The flat base of a paper bag.
b. The ancestor of the trombone. [CORRECT]
c. A droopy derriere.

• What is ‘aeromancy’?
a. Predicting the future by looking at tea leaves.
b. Predicting the future by looking up noses.
c. Predicting the future by looking at clouds. [CORRECT]

BS WEB GOODIE:
Hilarious. Actress Halle Berry does a dramatic spoken-word interpretation of Britney Spears’ 2000 hit “Oops, I Did It Again” …
NET: https://youtu.be/prbECC9JdSU

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: What 2 professions are nearly 100% filled by women?
Answer: Kindergarten teacher and dental hygienist. (Not to mention lap dancer, retail lingerie sales, women’s tennis pro – well, except for Serena.)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Always borrow money from pessimists. They don’t expect it back.

NOW ON OUR SHEET LIST:
Mike Leonard @ The Radio Ranch [KCEG] Pueblo CO; Dee Lee @ In The Chi Radio, Chicago IL; Marshall Whitsed @ Mountain FM [CISQ-FM] Squamish BC; James Abey @ KMMO-FM Marshall MO; Melissa Quilling @ Eagle 93.1 [KGCX] Sidney-Williston MT; and Forrest Letson @ Partyboy Radio, Austin TX.


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