Tuesday, August 29, 2017 – Edition: #6044

Our Sheet Don’t Stink!

★ Russell Brand has officially said goodbye to his ‘lothario’ reputation after marrying his long-term girlfriend, Laura Gallacher, in an intimate wedding Saturday afternoon. Russell and Laura have been together since 2015, with the couple welcoming their first child together, Mabel, in November last year.  Brand was previously married to Katy Perry for 14 months beginning in 2010.
(Should we start the breakup countdown now?)
★ A Dwayne Johnson movie helped a boy save his brother’s life. The Rock was thrilled to hear that 10-year-old Jacob O’Connor had managed to save his two-year-old brother who had been found face-down in a swimming pool.  The older brother is a big fan of the movie ‘San Andreas’ and had picked up the technique of CPR and chest compressions from the film.
★ Tobe Hooper, the horror director best known for “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” and “Poltergeist,” died on Saturday in Sherman Oaks, Calif. He was 74. The circumstances of his death are not known at this point.  Among his other works was the music video for Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself.” In 2011 he co-authored a post-modern horror novel titled “Midnight Movie” in which he himself appeared as the main character.
★ Nicole Kidman celebrated her 50th birthday with a quiet family party.  Asked how she feels about turning the big 5-0, she said: ”Just joy…and I’m very, very happy to be 50. I think that’s what happens with birthdays once you get to a particular age, you’re just like, ‘Yay, OK, here we go!’
(And in Hollywood, you say “Yay, here we go to the plastic surgeon…”)
★ Samuel L. Jackson calls his new movie ‘The Hitman’s Bodyguard’ a romcom. The new action comedy stars Ryan Reynolds as a security expert trying to protect Jackson, who plays an assassin, on the way to testify in a war crimes case at The Hague. But Jackson sees it as more of a bromance, or as he calls it, “an action romcom”.
(Or an action JACKSON romcom?)
★ Orlando Bloom is hitting the small screen in the forthcoming Amazon TV series ‘Carnival Row’. It marks his first major TV role and sees him portray a police inspector looking into a grisly and unusual murder which leads into a fantastical world that the actor is no doubt familiar with.

• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Zach Galifianakis, Lake Bell, Midland ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Steve Carell, Lily Collins, Sheryl Crow ( R )
• Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Keegan-Michael Key, Cillian Murphy ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): John Krasinski, Melissa Leo, Rep. Adam Schiff ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Dominic Cooper, Laura Haddock, athletes from the Nitro World Games ( R )
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Werner Herzog, Veronica Ferres, Potty Mouth, Monica Barbaro ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): Maggie Haberman, Glenn Thrush
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Nick Offerman, Annabelle Wallis, Mark Normand ( R )
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Gizelle Bryant, La La Anthony ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Niecy Nash ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Hank Azaria, Jessica Radloff, guest co-host Jessica Dean ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Idris Elba, Tom Holland, Josh Duhamel, Peter Gros, guest co-host Carrie Ann Inaba
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Channing Tatum, Simone Biles, “Magic Mike” Dancers ( R )
• “Wendy Williams” (FOX): Tracee Ellis Ross ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): KeKe Palmer, Lauren Alaina ( R )
• “The Real” (FOX): Jodie Sweetin, guest co-host Erica Ash ( R )
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC): A man who had already departed returns temporarily to hand out a rose; a new love triangle forms.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC): “Live Show 3” Twelve acts compete for America’s vote.
• “2017 U.S. Open Tennis” (ESPN): “First Round” From the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center in Flushing, N.Y.

• Taylor Swift – she broke streaming records on Spotify and YouTube with her new single, “Look What You Made Me Do.” It was streamed more than 8 million times on its first day of release and grabbed 19 million views on YouTube during the same period. Both numbers are records.
• Mel B – her ex-husband Jimmy Gulzar has blamed her for being the cause of all of her relationship failures and marriage breakdowns. Quote: ”Does she really think all these men are wrong and she isn’t? We are talking about a woman who had three children by three different men.”
• Foo Fighters – want to team up with 80s band Tears For Fears on a song.   Dave Grohl says there is a song on the new Foo album ‘Concrete and Gold’ that they tried to get TFF singer Roland Orzabel to sing on,  but Orzabel never responded to Grohl’s email.
• Rod Stewart – has released a new version of  “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy”.  Stewart and DNCE, who are featured on the track, premiered the song on the VMAs  Sunday night.
• Jimmy Page – A new album that includes previously unreleased Yardbirds material from 1968 will be released November 5.  ‘Yardbirds ’68′ will include a live concert plus a collection of alternate takes and demos.  Both sets feature Page on guitar.
• Rascal Flatts – recently earned their 17th chart-topper with “Yours If You Want It”.  The success of the song is bittersweet because one of the writers of the song, Andrew Dorff, passed away last December.
• Shania Twain – says she would jump at the opportunity to record a duet with Celine Dion. Twain also says she sings along with Dion’s songs to warm-up before concerts.
• Tanya Tucker –her musical tribute to Glen Campbell struck the wrong chord with his widow Kim Campbell, who thinks Tucker is serving up a “distorted fairy tale” in her song ‘Forever Loving You’ about their short-lived romance.  Tucker says the song is meant to raise awareness for Alzheimer’s Disease.

Get ‘em wherever you get your movies…
• “Baywatch” (R-Rated, Action/Comedy):  Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon butts heads with a brash new recruit, as they uncover a criminal plot that threatens the future of the bay. (Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario)
• “Killing Hasselhoff” (R-Rated, Comedy):  A man tries to win a celebrity death pool by hiring a hit man to kill David Hasselhoff. (David Hasselhoff, Ken Jeong)
• “My Cousin Rachel” (PG-13, Drama/Romance):  A young Englishman plots revenge against his late cousin’s mysterious, beautiful wife, believing her responsible for his death. But his feelings become complicated as he finds himself falling under the beguiling spell of her charms. (Rachel Weisz, Sam Claflin, Holliday Grainger)
• “Inconceivable” (R-Rated, Mystery/Suspense):  A mother looks to escape her abusive past by moving to a new town where she befriends another mother, who grows suspicious of her. (Nicolas Cage, Nicky Whelan, Gina Gershon)
• “Pup Star: Better 2Gether” (G, Kids/Family):  The action-packed new season of the franchise continues with the story of Tiny, an adorable Yorkie pup who, after winning the ‘Pup Star’ TV singing competition, is suddenly launched into an adventure when she’s replaced by a street Yorkie. (Madison Pettis, Steve Valentine, David DeLuise)

Your smartphone may be smarter than you think.  About you.  It turns out that if you own an Android phone, Google may be been recording your private conversations.  They seem to have effectively turned millions of their users’ smartphones into listening devices that can capture intimate conversations – even when they aren’t in the room. If you have an Android,  Google’s Assistant, which is similar to Apple’s Siri, turns on and begins recording when you utter the words “OK Google”.  But an investigation has found that the virtual assistant is a little hard of hearing sometimes.  In some cases, just saying “OK” in conversation prompted it to switch on your phone and record around 20 seconds of audio.  It regularly switches on the microphone as you go about your day-to-day activities, none the wiser.  And once Google is done recording, it uploads the audio files to its computer servers – ‘the cloud’, where a text version of your conversation is created and they are kept indefinitely.  Recordings last around 10-20 seconds on average.  Google states on its terms and conditions that it keeps these recordings for “improving speech recognition against all Google products that use your voice”.  Any device that is signed into your personal Gmail or Google account can access the library of your conversations with Google’s Assistant, or with whomever else you were talking  when the Assistant randomly, or not-so-randomly, turned on.
(Great/ Let me know if you hear anything interesting…)
(Ironically, I read this on a news site that warned me in a pop-up that they use cookies to track the things I do online!)
(Search engine?  Apparently they have been searching through MY conversations!)

London, England is moving ahead with a test of FAKE speedbumps.  ‘Illusory’ speedbumps, as they are called, are just what you’d think:  painted humps on the road: white arcs, about a meter wide, that by the miracle of perspective, fool the eye into seeing them as looming out of the asphalt as drivers approach.  Fake speedbumps may not be real, but that doesn’t mean they don’t work.  They have been an effective deterrent to speeding in a smaller test, so that the city is going to test them in a broader area to see if this is a more effective and greener way to discourage speeding (Cars emit more pollution when going over traditional speedbumps).  And they can be moved to different locations fairly easily, meaning you never know if you are approaching a mirage…or a real bump that could rattle your transmission and spill your coffee!
(Don’t worry…before you know it, there’ll be an app for that!)
(OK, so they’ve solved speeding….now can they get those young punks to buy mufflers??)
(Can you imagine that feeling when you are bracing for a biggie, and then….nothing!)

You might think that with the end of August, it is the end of vacation season, but try these tips to feel like you are on vacation all year long:
❑ Make sleep a priority: You not only look better when you are well-rested, you perform better.  (But if it were possible to get enough sleep during a normal work week, it wouldn’t be such a treat to sleep in when I’m off!)
❑ Get moving:  Exercise is one of the most effective ways to lower stress, and it’s inexpensive and healthy for you. (Which would you like me to do?  Sleep? Or exercise?)
❑ Eat mindfully:  On vacation, we enjoy long drawn-out restaurant meals with loved ones; in real life, we scarf down processed foods in the car on the way to and from work.  Stress leads to poor food choices.  (I’m guessing the phrase “I think I’ll have another burger” is NOT an example of eating mindfully?)
❑ Find a restorative practice: It’s when you go “Ahhhhh.”  It could be quiet time with a good book, breathing exercises or meditation.  (I go “Ahhhhh” when the boss walks out of the room…)
❑ Make “No” your default answer: There are so many overextended people. We have to be very intentional about what our priorities are and create boundaries around what’s really meaningful.(I tried that…and now I’m on vacation year-round!)


1959 [58] Chris Hadfield, Sarnia ON, Canada, Astronaut/engineer/fighter pilot/musician/author (Canadian Air Force Commander who became the first Canadian to walk in space. He gained a huge social media fan base when he posted pictures of earth while aboard the International Space Station)

1971 [46] Carla Gugino, Sarasota FL, TV actress (“Wayward Pines” 2015-16)/movie actress (“San Andreas”, “New Year’s Eve”)

1975 [42] Kyle Cook, Frankfort IN, rock guitarist-vocalist (Matchbox Twenty-“Unwell”, “Bent”)

1980 [37] David Desrosiers, Sept-Iles QC, rock bassist (Simple Plan-“Untitled [How Could This Happen To Me?]”, “Welcome to My Life”)

1986 [31] Lea Michele (Sarfati), Bronx NY, TV actress (‘Hester Ulrich’ on “Scream Queens” since 2015, “Glee” 2009-15)

1993 [24] Liam Payne, Wolverhampton UK, boy-band pop singer (One Direction-“Best Song Ever”, “What Makes You Beautiful”)

• “According to Hoyle Day”, honoring Britain’s Edmond Hoyle on the anniversary of his death in 1769. He’s the guy who took the time to formalize rules to many popular games. Thus the expression ‘according to Hoyle’ has come to mean ‘playing by the rules’.

• “International Day Against Nuclear Tests”, a UN observance to underscore the need for a unified attempt to prevent any further nuclear weapons testing.  (Kim Jong-un, take note!)
NET: http://www.un.org/en/events/againstnucleartestsday

• “More Herbs, Less Salt Day”, because it’s ‘healthier, zestier and lustier!’ So go ahead, spice up your life! What’s the world’s most-used spice? Black pepper.

• “Chop Suey Day”, a stir fry made with a hodgepodge of ingredients like egg, meat, and vegetables. In fact, the name “chop suey” comes from a Cantonese word meaning “odds and ends.

• “Lemon Juice Day”, the oddest juice. You’d never drink it straight up, but without it so much of our food and drinks would be flat and dull. Lemon juice can also play an important role in food preservation when used in home canning.

• “Touch a Heart Tuesday”, take the opportunity to show your love toward others.  Suggestions:
▪ Be an ENCOURAGER rather than a DISCOURAGER
▪ Offer to baby sit for friends/family for a night so they can go out on a “date”.
▪ Tell those that you love, “I love you”.
▪ Mail an uplifting card to someone down in the dumps.
▪ Be a good listener. Don’t jump to offer advice- just listen.
▪ Make a pot of homemade chicken soup for someone who is too sick to cook.
▪ Don’t hesitate to offer a compliment.
▪ Write a letter to a special someone.
▪ Give a call to an elderly relative to just say “Hi”.
▪ Volunteer at a hospital or nursing home.

[Wed] Beach Day
[Wed] Toasted Marshmallow Day
[Wed] Slinky Day
[Thurs] Eat Outside Day
[Thurs] Thoughtful Thursday
[Thurs] Trail Mix Day’

1987 [30] Los Lobos started a three week run at No.1 on the US singles chart with ‘La Bamba’,  from the film about the life of Ritchie Valens.  The same day, Rick Astley’s debut hit ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’, started a five-week run at No.1 on the UK singles chart.
2005 [12] 77-year-old rock ‘n roll legend Fats Domino is rescued from his 9th Ward home in New Orleans LA after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina

2008 [09] US presidential nominee John McCain announces Sarah Palin as his running mate, making the 44-year-old mother of 5 the 1st woman ever picked as a Republican VP candidate

2004 [13] Germany’s Michael Schumacher wins his 5th consecutive Formula One championship (and 7th overall), beating the 47-year-old record held by Juan Manuel Fangio


✓ When the ‘pinky promise’ was first conceived, if a person broke the promise, they were required to cut off their pinky finger.
✓ Most lipstick contains fish scales.
✓ Forest fires move faster uphill than downhill.
✓ It takes glass one million years to decompose.
✓ The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
✓ Skepticisms is the longest word that alternates hands when typing.

• Foreign film: any movie shown in Texas theater that isn’t a western.
• Magazine: a bunch of printed pages that tell you what’s coming in the next issue.
• College: the three to four-year period when parents are permitted access to their home’s snacks.
• Emergency numbers: police station, fire department and places that deliver.
• Opera: when a guy gets stabbed in the back and instead of bleeding, he sings.
• Buffet: a French word that means “get up and get it yourself.”
• Tattoo: permanent proof of temporary insanity.
• Traffic light: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.
• Baby-sitter: a teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers.

☎ What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever taken back to a store for a refund… and gotten away with it?

Young Hollywood Heartthrob or Two IKEA Products?
1. Ansel Elgort
2. Adum Adelsten
3. Tye Sheridan
4. Alden Ehrenreich
5. Emmie Rand
6. Algot Eggegrund
7. Billy Sy
8. Jacob Lofland
9. Bonnie Sturdivant
10. Jules Lagan
Answers:  Hollywood heartthrobs: 1, 3, 4, 8 and 9
IKEA products: 2, 5, 6, 7 and 10

I have kleptomania.  But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Question:  There have been a lot of horrible inventions, but a recent survey reveals that this is the #1 thing people wish was never invented.  What is it?
A:  Karaoke

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.

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