Wednesday, August 29, 2018 – Edition: #6282

Our Sheet Don’t Stink! 

 

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “Bull Sheet” on Monday Sept 3, the Labour Day holiday. The Bull Sheet will resume on Tuesday, September 4th.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ John Goodman is opening up about the abrupt cancellation of “Roseanne” in May. In an interview, Goodman defends Barr, saying that she had to give up her rights to the show so that its spinoff, “The Connors”, could go on without her. Quote: “I know, for a fact that she’s not a racist..She had to sign a paper saying that she relinquished all her rights to the show so that we could go on.” Goodman also said that he sent her an email to thank her, but “did not hear anything back, but she was going through hell at the time. And she’s still going through hell.”
-MSN
★ Asia Argento has been axed from “X Factor Italy” amid allegations that she sexually abused a former child actor who once appeared in a movie with her.  Doubts had been cast on the Italian actress-director’s presence as a judge on “X Factor Italy” following a report that she paid former child actor and musician Jimmy Bennett a $380,000 settlement after an alleged sexual encounter when he was 17. Argento has admitted the payout, which she said was made by her former boyfriend, the late Anthony Bourdain, but denied she had sex with Bennett.
-Variety
★ O.J. Simpson has denied murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson in a spoof interview with prankster Sacha Baron Cohen. For the season finale of his show “Who Is America?”, which aired on Sunday, the British comedian donned a disguise and pretended to be an eccentric Italian playboy to secure a chat with O.J. During their chat, Baron Cohen’s character joked about the ways he’d like to kill his girlfriend, such as by pushing her out of a helicopter or by sabotaging a bungee rope – and his comments were met with chuckles from Simpson. He then broached the subject of Nicole’s murder by saying they were both “ladykillers” – prompting O.J. to state: “No, I didn’t kill nobody.”
-Canoe
★ Louis C.K. has made a surprise return to the stage for a brief stand-up appearance for the first time since he admitted to sexual misconduct allegations last November. C.K. performed for about 15 minutes on Monday at the Comedy Cellar in New York’s Greenwich Village, a club known for its impromptu appearances by famous stars. The club’s owner said the set was “typical” of the stuff that made him one of the biggest stand-ups in the world.  According to him, “It sounded just like he was trying to work out some new material, almost like any time of the last 10 years he would come in at the beginning of a new act.”
-ET

TODAY’S SHOWBIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Don Cheadle, Zoe Kravitz, Blood Orange featuring A$AP Rocky ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Lopez, Finn Wolfhard, Janet Jackson with Daddy Yankee ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Hugh Grant, Margaret Hoover, Sean Donnelly, Laura Benanti ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Chris O’Dowd, Regina Hall, grandson ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Sterling K. Brown, James Marsden, Brian Tyree Henry, Shawn Mendes & Julia Michaels ( R )
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Bob Newhart, Nikki Glaser
• “Watch What Happens Live” (Bravo): Ramona Singer, Meghan McCain ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Mira Sorvino ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Isla Fisher, Shannon Woodward ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Anthony Anderson, Emilia Clarke, Ben Falcone, Raytheon Mathcounts winner Kevin Liu
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Jennifer Aniston ( R )
• “Big Brother 20” (CBS): Houseguests compete to win the Power of Veto.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBA): Live results 3
• “Ancient Invisible Cities” (PBS): The premiere explores the hidden secrets of ancient Athens, the city that gave the world democracy. The latest 3D scanning reveals Athens’ treasures, from the buildings on the Acropolis to the silver mines and quarries beyond.

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Ariana Grande — has become just the fourth woman to chart 10 songs on the Hot 100 simultaneously.  As her ‘Sweetener’ album sits atop the albums chart, nine of its songs rank in the Billboard Hot 100, and a 10th is on the list by way of a feature on Nicki Minaj’s ‘Bed’.
• Avicii – His parents have launched a new digital memorial to the late DJ and have asked fans to share their memories of him.  The Bergling family have turned his website, avicii.com, into a digital memorial where fans can share their stories of what Avicii meant to them.
• Lance Bass — says he was asked to judge Miss America this year but turned it down because of the pageant’s current controversies. Earlier this month the current Miss America, Cara Mund, made headlines after speaking out against the Miss America Organization, claiming her and fellow contestants were controlled, manipulated, silenced or bullied.”  Bass served as judge for the pageant in 2014.
• Mariah Carey — is working on a new album which she calls ‘a labor of love.’  She says that part of the album will be ‘lighthearted’ and in other areas she will ‘go deep.’ She has also revealed she is extending her “The Butterfly Returns” Las Vegas residency at Caesars Palace into 2019 with new dates in February.
• Whitney Houston — Her iconic “Queen of the Night” costume from her 1992 movie “The Bodyguard” sold at auction, fetching slightly more than Dr. Evil’s “Austin Powers” outfit.  The famed metal garb — which has “some holes and rips from wear during filming” sold for $12,000.
• ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic — will hit the road in 2019 with a full orchestra in tow.  Quote: “This last tour was a very bare-bones tour without any kind of costumes or props or anything…And next year we’re gonna go the whole other direction and we’re gonna do our biggest-ever tour — every single show is going to be with a full orchestra. And it’s called ‘Strings Attached’.”  The weird one got his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Monday.
William Shatner — is about to deliver the Christmas carols like no man’s ever done before. He has announced a Christmas album, “Shatner Claus”, features musical collaborations with artists including Brad Paisley, Iggy Pop, Rick Wakeman, Todd Rundgren and Henry Rollins.  It comes out on Oct. 26.
• Gretchen Wilson – says she can’t comment about her arrest last week but she wrote on Facebook that she is “confident that the truth shall prevail”.  She was arrested at the Hartford, Connecticut airport on a breach of peace charge after a disturbance on a plane.
• Garth Brooks — Fans will have options when listening to Garth Brooks’ new “Triple Live” album. Adjusting the speaker or headphone setting will give listeners the chance to experience the show from the band’s point of view onstage or the fans’ point of view in the audience. ‘Triple Live’ is a three-disc live album, recorded during Brooks’ 2014-2017 tour.  It is available as a free download for a limited time.

GENERATION NEXT:
Millennials are about to be overtaken.  Gen Z will comprise 32 percent of the global population of 7.7 billion in 2019, nudging ahead of millennials, who will account for a 31.5 percent share, according to an analysis of United Nations data.  For purposes of the study, Generation Z is the group born in 2001 or later, the first of which will turn 18 next year.  Millennials are those born between 1980 and 2000.  The main difference between the two groups?   “An element of self-awareness versus self-centeredness,” according to one report.  Millennials were “more focused on what was in it for them. They also looked to others, such as the companies they did business with, for solutions, whereas the younger people (Gen Z) naturally sought to create their own solutions.”  The demographic handover is expected to be good news for delivery services, gadget makers and the “gig” economy. Meanwhile, it presents new challenges to educators, event planners, luxury brands and even golfers — a game where the average age of U.S. participants now exceeds 50.
(You’re not even going to get a Gen Z’er to golf if it’s a video game!)
(As long as there’s fresh supply of teens to fix my electronics, I don’t care what generation they come from!)
(Great!  They still need a cooler name, though…)
-Bloomberg

NO SCRUBS:
One thing I know for sure:  Nobody likes to clean the bathroom.  Scrubbing shower grout?  Almost as bad as cleaning the toilet.  But what if we didn’t have to?  A company says their lighting system kills up to 99 per cent of shower bacteria.  The Ellumi Bacteria-Killing Shower Light from Evolution Lighting could be a game-changer in your bathroom…or even your kitchen.  The LED lights don’t just brighten the room — they supposedly kill almost all bacteria within 9 feet.  All you have to do is flip a switch, shifting the light from “standard mode” to “disinfection mode,” and it goes to work killing mold, mildew, and other germs. The lights feature a new technology which emits light at a wavelength that’s not harmful to people but strong enough to kill off bacteria. How much?  About $86 US.
(Kills 99% of germs?  I’ve got teenagers.  Challenge accepted!)
(I’m interested.  I knew I had a problem when the cockroaches started dying!)
(I prefer to keep the bathroom lighting low.  That way no one sees the shower grout AND I don’t have to scrub!)
-HouseBeautiful

FORE-WARNED:
Here’s something you probably don’t want to hear, especially if you are of a certain age.  If you are starting to see wrinkles staring back at you in the mirror, there is something else that you might need to worry about.  A study suggests that forehead wrinkles could be an early warning of heart problems. Research presented at the world’s largest heart conference found that adults with the wrinkliest brows are 10 times more likely to die younger than those with smooth skin.  Scientists said horizontal wrinkles could be a “red flag” indicating hardening of the arteries — a major trigger for heart attacks. They suggest that doctors should keep a close eye on patients who look older than their years, and ensure they undergo a health assessment.  Although the risk applies to those with abundant wrinkles in general, researchers suggest that doctors focus on forehead wrinkles because they are so easily visible.
(Now I’m concerned.  My forehead is so wrinkly that when I lift my eyebrows, I get Wi-Fi!)
(Do you think Botox would help?)
(I figure as long as Keith Richards is OK, then I’m OK!)
-NationalPost

WEIRD FOOD COMBOS:
(As reported by people on Twitter)
• Pretzels with cream cheese
• French fries and ice cream
• French fries and Nutella
• Nacho cheese Doritos on a peanut butter & jelly sandwich
• Dipping chocolate chip cookies in Capri -Sun Tropical
• Rice and applesauce
(***See “BS Phone Starter”, below***)
-Twitter

BS CHRONOMETER 08.29.18

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1938 [80] Elliot Gould, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (‘Jack Gellar’ on “Friends” 1994-2003, ‘Ezra’ on “Ray Donovan” 2013-16)/movie actor (M*A*S*H)/ex-husband of Barbra Streisand

1959 [59] Chris Hadfield, Sarnia ON, Astronaut/engineer/fighter pilot/musician/author (Canadian Air Force Commander who became the first Canadian to walk in space. Gained a huge social media fan base from posting pictures and performing songs while aboard the International Space Station)

1959 [59] Rebecca De Mornay, Santa Rosa CA, movie actress (“Risky Business”, “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle”)

1971 [47] Carla Gugino, Sarasota FL, TV actress (“Wayward Pines” 2015-16)/movie actress (“San Andreas”, “New Year’s Eve”)

1975 [43] Kyle Cook, Frankfort IN, rock guitarist (Matchbox Twenty-‘Unwell’, ‘Bent’)

1980 [38] David Desrosiers, Sept-Iles QC, rock bassist (Simple Plan-‘Untitled [How Could This Happen to Me?]’, ‘Welcome to My Life’)

1986 [32] Lea Michele (Sarfati), Bronx NY, TV actress (‘Hester Ulrich’ on “Scream Queens”  2015-17, “Glee” 2009-15)

1993 [25] Liam Payne, Wolverhampton UK, boy-band pop singer (One Direction-‘Best Song Ever’, ‘What Makes You Beautiful’)


TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “According to Hoyle Day”, honoring Britain’s Edmond Hoyle on the anniversary of his death in 1769. He’s the guy who took the time to formalize rules to many popular games. Thus the expression ‘according to Hoyle’ has come to mean ‘playing by the rules’.
• “International Day Against Nuclear Tests”, a UN observance to underscore the need for a unified attempt to prevent any further nuclear weapons testing. NET: http://www.un.org/en/events/againstnucleartestsday
• “More Herbs, Less Salt Day”, because it’s ‘healthier, zestier and lustier!’ So go ahead, spice up your life! What’s the world’s most-used spice? Black pepper.
• “Chop Suey Day”, a stir fry made with a hodgepodge of ingredients like egg, meat, and vegetables. In fact, the name “chop suey” comes from a Cantonese word meaning “odds and ends”.
• “Lemon Juice Day”, the oddest juice. You’d never drink it straight up, but without it, so many of our food and drinks would be flat and dull. Lemon juice can also play an important role in food preservation when used in home canning.

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Frankenstein Day
[Thurs] Slinky Day
[Fri] Forgive Your Foe Friday
[Fri] Eat Outside Day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .

1987 [31] Los Lobos start a three-week run at No.1 on the US singles chart with ‘La Bamba’,  from the film about the life of Ritchie Valens.  The same day, Rick Astley’s debut hit ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’, starts a five-week run at No.1 on the UK singles chart.

2005 [13] 77-year-old rock ‘n roll legend Fats Domino is rescued from his 9th Ward home in New Orleans, LA after the devastation of Hurricane Katrina

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2008 [10] US presidential nominee John McCain announces Sarah Palin as his running mate, making the 44-year-old mother of 5 the 1st woman ever picked as a Republican VP candidate

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
2004 [14] Germany’s Michael Schumacher wins his 5th consecutive Formula One championship (and 7th overall), beating the 47-year-old record held by Juan Manuel Fangio

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ In its entire lifetime, the average worker bee produces 1/12th teaspoon of honey.
✓ Dragonflies are one of the fastest insects, flying 50 to 60 mph.
✓ Only full-grown male crickets can chirp.
✓ A typical bed houses over 6 billion dust mites.
✓ An adult bedbug can survive up to one year without feeding.
✓ Mosquitoes prefer children to adults, and blondes to brunettes.
✓ A cockroach can live for up to a week without a head.
-Corsinet

BS INACCURATE SONG MEANINGS:
Harry Chapin – ‘Cats in the Cradle’:  Is about a crazy cat lady who bought a crib for her kittens.
• TLC – ‘No Scrubs’:  The story of a female health care worker who is sick of her hospital uniform and just wants to wear real clothes again.
The Beatles‘Love Me Do’:  A plea for their fans to love their hairdos.
Celine Dion —  ‘My Heart Will Go On’:  To encourage organ donation.
Duran Duran‘Hungry Like the Wolf’:  A bitter song about getting stuck behind Wolf Blitzer in the buffet line at Sunday brunch.
• Britney Spears – ‘Baby One More Time’:  A musical tribute to the Duggar family.
• Isley Brothers – ‘Twist & Shout’:  Obviously about my lower back injury.
• Lynyrd Skynyrd – ‘Free Bird’:  Refers to free chicken dinners at the local KFC.
• Led Zeppelin – ‘Stairway to Heaven’:  Totally about going down to the wine cellar!
• Usher – ‘Let it Burn’:  Let’s not even go there…
-Twitter

BS WEIRD TRIVIA:
Academic Job Market Strategy or ‘Fortnite’ Tip?
1. As there is only one winner, it is a cut-throat experience.
2. You need to create to survive.
3. Weapons come in five colors that indicate damage and rarity.
4. The resources you started with will have a significant impact.
5. Jumping on tires will let you access hard to reach areas.
6. Always be on your toes and aware of your surroundings.
7. Deconstructing others’ work may provide an advantage.
8. Be sure to foster positive relationships with your references.
9. Beware of those coming in from outside your circle.
10. Pick out your area and defend it to the death until you need to move on.
Answers:  Fortnite Tips:  3,5
Academic Strategy:  8
Both:  1,2,4,6,7,9,10
-McSweeneys

BS PHONE STARTER:
• What is the strangest food combo that you’ve seen someone eat?  Or your own?

BS RANDOM JOKE:
If we aren’t supposed to eat at night, why do they put a light in the refrigerator?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:   The #1 sign you trust someone is giving them your house key.  What is #2?
Answer: Having them watch your pet.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:

Don’t stress the ‘could haves’.  If it should have, it would have.

 


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