Friday, August 3, 2012        Edition: #4801

The Sheet Hits the Fans!

This weekend the Tony Award-winning musical “Memphis” is leaving Broadway, the curtain falling for the final time Sunday after almost 1,200 performances (word has it Broadway’s loss will be West End London’s gain) . . . A publicist for now 31-year-old “Home Alone” star Macaulay Culkin’s says a tabloid report suggesting he’s a heroin addict fighting for his life is ‘not only categorically without merit, but it is also impossibly and ridiculously fictitious; we beseech the responsible media to consider the source’ (then he put away his thesaurus) . . . Despite the Robert Pattinson-Kristen Stewart split, Summit Pictures says it’s moving full steam ahead with its promo tour for “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 2”, opening in November (let the awkwardness begin!) . . . Show creator Seth MacFarlane says he never expected “Family Guy” to go on for as long as it has (you’re not alone, pal) . . . Michael Jackson’s sister will be the focus of a new show called “Life With La Toya”, a fly-on-the-wall reality series focusing on her famous family and friends, to air on the OWN network (really Oprah, it’s come to this?) . . . And 84-year-old Roger Moore, who played ‘James Bond’ onscreen 1973-85, is publishing the book “Bond On Bond” this October, which he promises will cover everything you could want to know about ‘007’, including his recipe for the perfect martini (also where the adult diapers are stashed in the Aston Martin).


• “Chelsea Lately” (E!) – Tonight Rick Ross (“God Forgives, I Don’t”). Rerun.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Ne-Yo (“RED”, out September 18th).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Rick Ross again. Rerun.
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni1) – Tonight Jimmy Cliff (“Sacred Fire”). Rerun.
• Lollapalooza (Chicago IL) – The annual 3-day August bash in Grant Park is headlined by Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Black Keys, and Black Sabbath (in their only US appearance this year).  Also on the bill are Jack White, Florence & The Machine, The Shins, Passion Pit, Metric, fun., Franz Ferdinand, and The Temper Trap. Jane’s Addiction have announced a special Lollapalooza after-show at Chicago’s Aragon Ballroom on Saturday.
• Osheaga Music & Arts Festival (Montréal QC) – The annual 3-day rock fest features The Black Keys, Feist, Florence & The Machine, Franz Ferdinand, Metric, The Shins, Young the Giant, and many more.
• “The Talk” (CBS) – Guest co-host LeAnn Rimes.
• “Tavis Smiley” (PBS) – Tonight Shawn Colvin (“All Fall Down”). Rerun.
• Watershed Music Festival (George WA) – Tonight through Sunday this inaugural country fest at the Gorge Amphitheatre is headlined by Dierks Bentley, Miranda Lambert, and Blake Shelton.


• Beyoncé – She’s preparing to direct and star in her own documentary film, which will detail her career and life behind-the-scenes through interviews and concert footage. According to “LA Times”, she’ll also serve as a producer on the project. (Well good, at least we’ll be ensured of a balanced and unbiased portrayal.)
• Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band – This week they wrapped up their Summer tour of Europe in Helsinki, Finland with a marathon show clocking in at 4 hours and 5 minutes. According to “Rolling Stone”, that’s their 1st-ever 4-hour set.
• Chris Brown – He’s insisting he didn’t utter a homophobic slur about singer-songwriter Frank Ocean, who just recently came out. (And if there’s anyone we can trust to tell the truth about this sort of thing, it’s Chris Brown.)
• Dave Matthews Band – They’re inviting fans to take part in the creation of a video for its latest single, “Mercy”, by contributing photos or video.
• Drake – Joining him Sunday at his 3rd-annual OVO Fest at Toronto’s Molson Amphitheatre are 2 Chainz, A$AP Rocky, and The Weeknd. A source tells HipHopDX that Drake will close the event by debuting a new song that features Aaliyah, who died in a plane crash in 2001. OVO Fest also doubles as the closing night of Drake’s “Club Paradise” Summer tour.
• Jason Aldean – Sunday his first stadium show for the “2012 My Kinda Party Tour” at Columbus, Ohio’s Crew Stadium is SRO, all 27,000 tickets sold more than 2 months in advance.
• My Morning Jacket – Tonight they commence a Summer tour with the first gig of a 2-night stand at Red Rocks in Colorado.
• One Direction – This week the British-Irish pop group was presented with special plaques by their label Syco (aka Simon Cowell) and Sony Music for selling 12 million records in the last year.
• Randy Houser – Detroit Lions head coach Jim Schwartz has invited the country singer to headline the inaugural “Coach’s Kickoff” at Ford Field in Detroit this Sunday.
• Taylor Swift – She returned to the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts last week and was snapped enjoying a day out with 18-year-old Conor Kennedy. His Grandma Ethel tells, “We should be so lucky to have her in our family.” (Kinda rushing things, aren’t ya?)
• Zac Brown Band – “Uncaged” is back in the #1 spot on the all-genre album sales chart for a 2nd week, according to Nielsen SoundScan.


• “Diary Of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days” ( PG Family Comedy ): The 3rd film of this unexpected franchise combines the 3rd and 4th books of Jeff Kinney’s 6-novel series and brings back all the key players for ‘Greg’s bummer Summer when all his plans go wrong. Stars Zachary Gordon, Robert Capron, Devon Bostick, Steve Zahn.
• “Total Recall” ( PG-13 Sci-fi Action Adventure ): This is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s 1990 film recycled and re-imagined. Colin Ferrell plays a factory worker who begins to suspect he’s really a spy after dangerously indulging himself in a dream-induced fantasyland. Co-stars Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston.


Sunday is the 50th anniversary of screen legend Marilyn Monroe’s still controversial death. Of course, it’s not like the movie star has ever really gone away. That beguiling combination of sensuality and innocence that has kept Monroe’s star burning brightly for more than a half-century shows no sign of diminishing. At least, not if marketing firm Authentic Brands can help it. It purchased the rights to the Monroe estate back in 2010 for a chunk of money reportedly in the $20-to-$30 million range. It licenses her name and image on all kinds of products. For instance, MAC Cosmetics has an entire ‘Marilyn Collection’, over 2 dozen items from lipstick to nail lacquer, set to hit the shelves this October.
– QMI Agency


The original Olympic Games were held every 4 years from 776 BC to AD 394, making them the longest-running recurring event in antiquity. What was the secret of the Games’ longevity? Tony Perrotet, author of “The Naked Olympics: The True Story Of the Ancient Games”, says it was the sheer spectacle of it. Sports were just one part of the grand, all-consuming extravaganza. It was first and foremost a religious event, where sacrifices and rituals would take up as much time as athletic competition. And there were all kinds of peripheral activities that came with the festival: artistic happenings, new writers, new painters, new sculptors. There were fire-eaters, palm readers, and prostitutes. This was the total pagan entertainment package!


• Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt’s middle name is St Leo. St Leo was the pope who confronted Attila the Hun when he arrived at the gates of Rome in 452 AD and persuaded him to turn back.
• The national sport of Bhutan is archery.
• Hungary is the world’s greatest power in water polo.


1926 [86] Tony Bennett (Bennedetto), Astoria NY, legendary pop/jazz singer (“I Left My Heart in San Francisco”)

1940 [72] Martin Sheen (Ramón Estévez), Dayton OH, movie actor (“The Amazing Spider-Man”, “Apocalypse Now”)/TV actor (“Anger Management” 2012, “The West Wing” 1999-2006)

1963 [49] James Hetfield, Downey CA, heavy metal singer/guitarist (Metallica-“The Day That Never Comes”, “St Anger”)

1966 [46] Brent Butt, Tisdale SK, standup comedian (“The Brent Butt Comedy Special”)/TV actor (“Hiccups” since 2010, “Corner Gas” 2004-09)/wed to co-star Nancy Robertson since 2005

1970 [42] Stephen Carpenter, Sacramento CA, rock guitarist (The Deftones-“Diamond Eyes”, “Change”)

1976 [36] Jimmy De Martini, Atlanta GA, country violinist (Zac Brown Band-“Knee Deep”, “Chicken Fried”)

1977 [35] Tom Brady, San Mateo CA, NFL QB (New England Patriots)/3-time Super Bowl winner/2-time Super Bowl MVP/7-time Pro Bowl selection/wed to model Gisele Bundchen since 2009

1979 [33] Evangeline Lilly, Fort Saskatchewan AB, TV actress  (“Lost” 2004-10)/movie actress (“The Hurt Locker”)  UP NEXT: “The Hobbit, The Unexpected Journey”, opening December 14th.

1985 [27] Brent Kutzle, Newport Beach CA, rock bassist (OneRepublic-“Stop & Stare”, “Apologize”)

TV actor-comedian Richard Belzer (“Law & Order: SVU”) is 68; Movie actor Billy Bob Thornton (“Sling Blade”) is 57; US president Barack Obama is 51; Auto racer Jeff Gordon (NASCAR) is 41; Pop singer Tom Parker (The Wanted) is 24.

Rock guitarist Pat Smear (Foo Fighters) is 53; Country singer Terri Clark (“Girls Lie Too”) is 44.


• “National Ukrainian Festival”, the 47th annual in Dauphin MB through Sunday, as thousands gather for traditional foods, singing, dancing, egg-decorating, and the world’s best perogies.
• “Twins Days Festival”, the world’s largest gathering of twins through Sunday in Twinsburg, Ohio. They’ll be seeing double in this town all weekend!
• “Watermelon Day”, celebrating the Summer treat that’s part of the pumpkin, squash, and gourd family. Watermelons originated in Africa, then spread to Egypt, India, China, and eventually around-the-world.

• “Chocolate Chip Day”, saluting those tiny little morsels of decadence that make almost any dessert taste better. There’s hardly any calories in them, right? They’re just little. (Unless you inhale the whole bag.)
• “Mustard Day”, honoring the ‘condiment of kings’ and sponsored by Wisconsin’s Mustard Museum, home of the world’s largest collection of mustard memorabilia.
• “Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction” in Canton, Ohio. This year’s inductees are Jack Butler, Dermontti Dawson, Chris Doleman, Cortez Kennedy, Curtis Martin, and Willie Roaf.

• “International Beer Day”, celebrating suds from around-the-world. What’s the absolute best beer on Earth?
• “Sisters Day”, observed annually on the 1st Sunday in August to celebrate being or having a sister.
• “Underwear Day”, the 9th annual organized by online retailer A good excuse to take a vote: Boxers, Briefs, Boxer-Briefs, or Commando?


2007 [05] “The Bourne Ultimatum”, 3rd film in the ‘Jason Bourne’ series starring Matt Damon, opens in theaters (“The Bourne Legacy”, starring Jeremy Renner, opens August 10th)

2008 [04] publishes a 19-page photo-spread of Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie’s newborn twins, Vivienne & Knox (the bidding war for the first pics reportedly reached $14 million, most ever paid for celebrity baby pictures)


1996 [16] “La Macarena” by Los Del Rio hits #1 on “Billboard” pop chart (and stays 14 weeks)


1949 [63] Basketball Association of America & National Basketball League merge to form ‘NBA’


1983 [29] John Sain builds 12-ft-high (3.91-m) house of cards (South Bend, Indiana)

1991 [21] Hazel Stout of Portland, Oregon sets a world skydiving record for women by ‘hitting the silk’ at age 88


[Mon] Civic Holiday (7 provinces)
[Mon] Fresh Breath Day
[Tues] Lighthouse Day
[Tues] National Night Out
[Tues] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day
[Tues] Professional Speakers Day
This Week Is … Simplify Your Life Week
This Month Is … Cataract Awareness Month


• Whyzit everything is easier to take apart than put together?
• Whyzit most bosses think the best reward for a job well done is more work?
• Whyzit experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it?
• Whyzit whenever you tell somebody you lost something they immediately ask you where?
• Whyzit there isn’t mouse-flavored cat food?


☎ Rapper-reggae singer Shaggy says today’s pop artists aren’t making classic hits that will stand the test of time. Do you disagree? If so, which recent tracks do you think we’ll still be hearing in 2022?


The ‘Fifty Shades Generator’ is touted as a breakthrough in erotic fiction. At the click of a button, it generates world-class literature (much of it un-airable). You too will be asking, what’s a ‘spam javelin’?


Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.


Question: According to a survey, THIS is the best way to tell if a man doesn’t want to settle down.
Answer: He drives a flashy car.


Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.

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