Wednesday, August 30, 2017 – Edition: #6045

100% Grade A Bull!

BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
There will be no “Bull Sheet” on Monday, the Labour Day holiday. The Bull Sheet will resume on Tuesday, September 5th.

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Stars including Kevin Hart, Katy Perry, Drake and country singer Chris Young are lining up to help raise money for flood relief efforts in Houston. Hart himself has pledged $25,000 to victims of Hurricane Harvey. And in an Instagram video posted Sunday, Hart announced a celebrity challenge to donate money to the cause. Beyonce, Jay Z, Justin Timberlake, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Jerry Seinfeld are among the stars he called on to make pledges.
-CTV
★ Lena Dunham will portray the radical feminist famed for shooting Andy Warhol in the new season of ‘American Horror Story’.  The ‘Girls’ creator and star was announced as a castmember for the next installment of Ryan Murphy’s anthology series last month, and it has now been confirmed that Dunham will play Valerie Solanas, opposite Evan Peters as the artist Andy Warhol. American Horror Story: Cult debuts on FX September 5th.
-Jam.Canoe
★  Ryan Gosling is set to bring the laughs as host of Saturday Night Live’s 43rd season premiere on Sept 30. Gosling, who first hosted the show back in 2015, will be joined by musical act Jay Z. In his last turn as host, he had the audience in fits for more than just his skits. Gosling struggled to stay in character and even giggled his way through some scenes.
-Hello!
★Kathy Griffin says she will tell all about her controversial Donald Trump photoshoot in a newly-announced world tour later this year.  The comedienne – now best known for posing with a bloody head resembling US President Donald Trump – will hit the road for her ‘Laugh Your Head Off Tour’, which will begin in New Zealand and Australia before heading to Europe.
-ContactMusic
★ Kristen Wiig has gone on record as being initially unhappy with the classic gross-out scene in ‘Bridesmaids’.  Although Wiig and her pal Annie Mumolo wrote the script for the movie, she admits they did not originally include the scene which sees the central characters develop diarrhea in a Bridal Shop after eating bad meat.  They were strongly encouraged to add it back in.
(Yup.  Some pretty highbrow entertainment there!)
-ContactMusic
★ Selena Gomez has had her Instagram account hacked. The singer’s page was seized on Monday and several full-frontal naked photos of ex-boyfriend Justin Bieber, 23, were posted shortly after. The pop star’s account was swiftly shut down and her team have now regained control of it.
-DailyMail
★ Warner Bros has announced that the digital and Blu-ray release of ‘Wonder Woman’ will feature a bonus scene. The new scene is titled ‘Etta’s Mission’, and features Steve Trevor’s secretary played by Lucy Davis.
-ContactMusic

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Matt LeBlanc, Emily Ratajkowski, Vince Staples featuring Juicy J ( R )
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Harry Styles, Jenny Slate, The Who ( R )
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): James McAvoy, Matteo Lane ( R )
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Howie Mandel, Sen. Tammy Duckworth, Aaron Schatz, Venzella Joy ( R )
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Ginnifer Goodwin, Eddie Izzard, Jillian Bell, Jason Derulo ( R )
• “Last Call with Carson Daly” (NBC/CTV): Jason Silva, the Buttertones, Ghost Brothers ( R )
• “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” (Comedy): James Blake
• “Conan” (TBS/Comedy): Snoop Dogg, Flula Borg, Mastodon ( R )
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Neil deGrasse Tyson ( R )
• “The Talk” (CBS): Tyra Banks, Ari Graynor, guest co-host Joey McIntyre ( R )
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): Keegan-Michael Key, Cara Delevingne, X Ambassadors
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Bradley Cooper, Kym Douglas ( R )
• “Harry” (NBC/CTV): Ryan Seacrest ( R )
• “Big Brother” (CBS): House guests vie for the power of veto.
• “America’s Got Talent” (NBV): “Live Results 3” Seven of 12 acts move on to the semifinal round; a surprise guest performs

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bruce Springsteen – is the latest addition to the Invictus Games closing ceremonies in Toronto Sept. 30.  He joins Bryan Adams, Bachman & Turner, Kelly Clarkson, and Coeur de pirate at the Air Canada Centre to close out the event which honours the achievements of injured service members and veterans from 17 nations participating in multi-sport events.
• Rush — the idea of bassist Geddy Lee and guitarist Alex Lifeson teaming up on a new project without drummer Neil Peart has apparently been shot down.  Donna Halper – a former DJ and long-time confidant of the band says she asked Alex Lifeson about the story and he told her that “there’s no Lee/Lifeson collaboration in the works”.
• AC/DC – former singer Brian Johnson made his second stage appearance since being forced to leave the band due to hearing issues almost 18 months ago.  Johnson joined Muse on stage at Reading Fest for a spirited rendition of the AC/DC classic ‘Back in Black’.  (Fitting, no?)
• Thirty Seconds to Mars – frontman Jerod Leto took to the stage at the MTV Video Music Awards to pay tribute to Linkin Park’s Chester Bennington and Soundgarden’s Chris Cornell.  He also urged fans struggling with thoughts of suicide to seek help.  Leto has toured with both singers.
• Van Halen – bassist and Eddie Van Halen’s son Wolfgang is streaming a brief audio preview of a song from his forthcoming debut solo album.  He has been sharing images from his work-in-progress project since 2015.
• Tom Petty – a battle with laryngitis and bronchitis forced him to postpone several shows last week, but he is feeling better.  His camp shared the good news via Facebook that for this week’s shows in Northern California, “all systems are go!”
• Kings of Leon – will play the inaugural concert at Nashville’s First Tennessee Park – home to minor league baseball team the Nashville Sounds.   Hometown heroes the Kings of Leon play there September 29.
• Adam Levine – wasn’t pleased with the MTV VMAs, and had no problem calling out the awards show.  After Julie Michaels was cut off, Levine Tweeted: “It’s always exciting to see how utterly horrible the VMAs will be. They really delivered so far this year.”
• Nicki Minaj – steps out of her comfort zone by guesting on ‘I’m Getting Ready,’ the new single from gospel star Tasha Cobbs Leonard.
• Chris Young –  is encouraging his fans and followers to donate to Hurricane Harvey relief efforts. He has set up a GoFundMe campaign to help raise money for those affected by the natural disaster. Young owns a home in one of the hardest-hit areas, which he is “fairly positive” has been destroyed.
• Kip Moore – has shared a video for an acoustic version of the new song, “Bittersweet Company,” taken from his upcoming third album, ‘Slowheart’, due for release on September 8.

WORKING OUT FOR THE WEEKEND:
Do you really want to get up at 5 o’clock on a dark January morning to hop in a cold car and drive to the gym before work?  And who feels like working out after a long hard day on the job?
Good news!  A recent study has found that people who cram all of their exercise into one or two sessions on weekends benefit almost as much as those who work out more frequently.  Of course, there’s a catch. In order to benefit, you have to meet the weekly recommended requirements of 150 minutes of moderate activity and 75 minutes of vigorous activity. As a rule of thumb, moderate exercise can be done while maintaining a conversation, whereas during vigorous exercise talking at the same time is difficult.  The study found those who work out only on weekends have a 30% lower risk of death than inactive adults; the ones who worked out throughout the week had a 35% lower risk of death than inactive adults. And both groups lowered their risk of cardiovascular death by about 40%.
(Now THIS I like!  Except for that thing about having to work out on the weekend…)
(That’s great.  Now I can feel guilty about not working out on weekends too.)
(I would.  But my weekends are pretty packed spending quality time with my couch…)
-WHIMN

DE-TWEETING THE TWIT:
We’ve all been fortunate enough to have seen or at least heard of some of the impulsive, misguided, ill-thought-out and yes, even outright false Tweets that the U.S. President has doled out.  Well, this lady is doing something about it.  An ex-CIA agent is trying to BUY Twitter so she can ban Donald Trump.  Valerie Plame Wilson is looking to crowdfund $1 billion dollars through a gofundme campaign.  She Tweeted that “if Twitter executives won’t shut down Trump’s violence and hate, then it’s up to us. #BuyTwitter #BanTrump”.  Even if she is able to raise the billion, she still may not be able to buy the financially-troubled social media outlet.  Last week, a majority stake in Twitter  would have cost approximately $6 billion.  At last check, the campaign had raised about $85,000.
(So the only one who could actually afford to buy Twitter….is probably Donald Trump.)
(He would avoid so many problems if he would just THINK before he Tweets!)
(BAN him from Twitter?  I’m no expert, but there may be an argument in here about free speech!)
***UPDATE HERE:  https://www.gofundme.com/buytwitter ***
-AP

SUB-12-INCHES:
We finally have a resolution to that groundbreaking court case that has threatened to shake the American judicial system to the core.  A judge has tossed out a lawsuit settlement claiming that Subway foot-long subs aren’t actually a foot long.  The class-action suit claimed that customers were being cheated because Subway’s ‘foot-longs’ are actually only 11 inches.  The judge, presiding over the Chicago Court of Appeals, rejected an earlier $535,000 settlement, calling it “utterly worthless”.
(Fine.  Commence the “6-inch sub” lawsuit!  I’m fairly sure it’s only 5½ inches!)
(So it isn’t as long as they said it was.  It must have been named by a guy!)
-WashingtonTimes

BAG THE BAGS:
If you ever get the chance to go shopping in Kenya, you’d better B.Y.O.B.  That would be “bring your own bags”.  Soon, stores there won’t have any plastic bags to hand out.  Word is that the capital city, Nairobi, is littered with those thin plastic bags that so many merchants automatically include with purchases.  So a new ban on making and importing plastic bags in that country could result in a $38,000 fine.  It is estimated that Kenyan supermarkets alone hand out about 100 million of them every year….or they did.  With the new law, it will be next to impossible for retailers to aquire bags to hand out.  And that could be a good thing.  Plastic bags not only aren’t good for the environment, they also block sewers and take forever to decompose.  Many other African countries have adopted or announced similar bans.
(But what are people supposed to line their garbage cans with now??)
(So if you are visiting Kenya, you’d better bring your own bags.  Wait.  You can’t import them either.  Bad idea!)
(Don’t worry…there’s still a huge pile of them in the ocean!)
-AP

BS CHRONOMETER 08.30.17

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1930 [87] Warren Buffett, Omaha NE, investor (Berkshire Hathaway)/world’s 4th-wealthiest with $76.9 billion as of August 2017/philanthropist who’s announced he’ll leave 85% of his fortune to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation

1948 [69] Lewis Black, Silver Spring MD, standup comedian

1963 [54] Michael Chiklis, Lowell MA, movie actor (“Rise Of the Silver Surfer”, “Fantastic Four”)/TV actor (“No Ordinary Family” 2010-11, “The Shield” 2002-08)

1972 [45] Cameron Diaz, San Diego CA, movie actress (“There’s Something About Mary”, “Shrek” movies)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Holistic Pet Day”, initiated by the Animal Miracle Foundation to encourage pet owners to develop a healthy lifestyle for their pets through diet, exercise, and environment.

• “International Day Of the Disappeared”, to draw attention to the fate of individuals imprisoned under poor conditions and at places unknown to their relatives and/or legal representatives.

• “Toasted Marshmallow Day”, celebrating that great Summer treat on a stick. So how do you like yours done?  NET: http://tinyurl.com/96vycjb

BS WHAT YOUR TOASTED MARSHMALLOW SAYS ABOUT YOU:
❑ Perfectly Browned On All Sides – You are an anal-retentive perfectionist, a nit-picker who will devote unreasonable amounts of time to ensure that every project is done ‘just so’.
❑  Blackened – You are a creative and high-strung latent pyromaniac who is seldom punctual, easily distracted, and has difficulty paying attention to detail.
❑  Crusty Outside, Gooey Inside – You are an overly-sensitive individual who detests any form of criticism and has trouble expressing innermost feelings. Rather than facing problems head-on, you waste time brooding about them.
❑  Slightly Tanned On One Side – You are a shy introvert who tends to underestimate the effort and time required to accomplish a task. You have an unreasonable fear of everyday things … fire, for instance.
❑  Raw – You are a lusty and likely overweight thrill-seeker who refuses to even consider the concept of delayed gratification. Rather than plan ahead, you want immediate satisfaction.

• “Frankenstein Day”, honoring Mary Wollenstone Shelley, the author of ‘Frankenstein’. The birthday of the author was chosen as date for this holiday. Frankenstein is a novel first published anonymously in 1818.

• “Beach Day”, celebrating everything BEACH…parties, family, friends, great food, photography, beach must-haves and most importantly, encouraging clean up of beaches worldwide on August 30th to help save the lives of sea birds & ocean mammals.

• “Slinky Day”, the Slinky was originally designed and sold in the 1940s. The inventor had accidentally knocked a spring off the shelf, and watched it ‘walk’ down a series of books, to a tabletop, and then to the floor where it neatly coiled itself

AND REMEMBER…
[Thurs] Eat Outside Day
[Thurs] Thoughtful Thursday
[Thurs] Trail Mix Day
[Fri] American Chess Day
[Fri] Cherry Popover Day
[Fri] Lazy Mom’s Day

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2014 [03] Kate Bush follows her stage comeback in Britain by becoming the first woman to have 8 albums in the UK charts at the same time (the result of a 22-date concert stand, her 1st shows in 35 years)
2015 [02] Rap artist Kanye West announces he will run for President in 2020 at the MTV Video Music Awards

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1999 [18] Oklahoma State University introduces ‘Super Fan-nies’, disposable diapers adorned with the football team’s logo

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1988 [29] Vicki Keith of Kingston, Ontario becomes 1st swimmer to conquer all 5 of North America’s Great Lakes

BULL’S BITS

BS WACK FACTS:
✓ Red, irritated eyes after swimming in a pool are not caused by chlorine.  They are caused by urine.
✓ People who swear a lot tend to be more honest than those who don’t.
✓ Mixing alcohol with diet soda results in a quicker drunk than mixing it with regular soda.
✓ Human muscles are limited by our brain – we actually have the strength to move cars and boulders.
✓ The first use of “toast” as a metaphorical term for “dead” was in the original Ghostbusters.
✓ Dogs can see their own farts.
-UberFacts

BS WAYS TO MAKE SCHOOL MORE APPEALING TO TEENS:
• In biology class, dissect the least popular student.
• Automatic ‘A’ in Spanish if you’ve ever eaten at Taco Bell.
• Every day at 2 pm … school-wide booty call.
• When handing out condoms, throw in a free motel room.
• Give 10 points extra credit for each body piercing.
• New curriculum: Reading, Writing, and Wrecking Stuff.
• Pass a test, win a dirt bike!
-First published in BS in 2013

REAL TIPS FROM 2ND GRADERS FOR KIDS ENTERING GRADE 1:
✓ “Don’t burp out loud.”
✓ “Try to put your capital letters in the right place.”
✓ “Keep your desk clean.”
✓ “If there’s a kindergartner sitting on the bus near you, don’t make fun of them.”
✓ “Try not to throw up in class.”
✓ “Don’t put down ‘little’ kids.”
– “Indianapolis Star & News”

BS RANDOM JOKE:
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ You can go back in time and prevent a great catastrophe. Which one would you prevent?

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question:  A study says the average person will spend 5 months of their life doing this. What is it?
Answer: Complaining

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A negative mind never leads to a positive life.


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