Monday, August 31, 2015        Edition: #5527

Monthly Planning Calendar in Today’s Issue!

★ “Sons Of Anarchy” creator Kurt Sutter is developing a new spin-off series centered on another California motorcycle club. The acclaimed crime drama starring Charlie Hunnam  ended its 7-season run last year, and now Sutter is set to return to the world of biker gangs, in a show set in the Oakland, California motorcycle scene. The new show features members of the ‘Mayans’, an Hispanic gang that battled the ‘Sons’ throughout the original series. Sutter is slated to executive produce the as-yet-untitled program.
– “Entertainment Weekly”
★ John Legend & Chrissy Teigen have inspired a new sitcom. “Blackish” creator Kenya Barris is working on a show loosely based on their lives as part of a development deal with ABC Studios. Quote: “They’re both super creative and super effusive and I’m just fans of them and everything they stand for.” Tentatively titled “Ordinary People”, taken from the singer’s Grammy-winning track of the same name, Legend and Teigen will also serve as producing partners on the project. If the pilot gets picked up, filming begins next February.
★ And former wrestling star Hulk Hogan wants to join Republican presidential hopeful Donald Trump on the campaign trail. Asked about the 2016 US election, Hogan says: “I don’t want to be in the ring with any candidates. I want to be Trump’s running mate. Did you hear that? Vice President Hogan?” Hogan may be looking for a gig because World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) ceased all affiliation with him earlier this year after the infamously verbose former champ was caught on tape apparently making racist remarks.

• “Celebrity Style Story” (E!) – In the Season 2 debut, the panelists delve into the fashion of the Oscars through the decades.
• “Chef in Your Ear” (Food) – Debut of a new cooking show in which a pair of off-camera pro chefs compete to see who can get a completely clueless cook to create a restaurant-quality dish … by giving tips through an earpiece.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Brian Wilson (“No Pier Pressure”).
• “Daily Planet” (Discovery) – In the 21st season debut, co-hosts Ziya Tong & Dan Riskin track down quirky and outrageous gizmos for “Extreme Machines Week”.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Demi Lovato (“Confident”, out October 16th).
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Jack Antonoff (Bleachers).
• “Live With Kelly & Michael” (syndicated/CTV) – Taylor Swift (“1989”).
• “Meredith Vieira Show” (syndicated) – Lil Jon (“Crunk Rock”). Rerun.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Faith Evans (“Incomparable”). Rerun.
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – The top 6 dancers perform; 4 advance.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Gary Clark Jr (“The Story of Sonny Boy Slim”, out September 11th).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Tyrese (“Black Rose”).
• “Wendy Williams” (syndicated) – 1970s group The Whispers.

• Adele – Will her long-awaited 3rd album arrive this Fall? “Billboard” quotes sources as saying that “25” is coming out in November. She’s been working on new material with Danger Mouse, Max Martin, Ryan Tedder, and Tobias Jesso Jr.
• Guns ‘N Roses – There’s a rumor going round that the original GNR lineup is reforming in 2016.
• Janet Jackson – Tonight the first leg of her “Unbreakable World Tour”, entailing 36 North American dates, begins in Vancouver BC. This leg of the tour runs up to November 12th in Honolulu HI.
• Maroon 5 – They’ve announced a tour of Latin America for 2016. The group will play 12 shows in Mexico, Colombia, Argentina, Chile, and Brazil in February and March of next year.
• Miranda Lambert – She’s staging her 2-day MuttNation Foundation rescue dog charity event  in Luckenbach TX, about 75 miles west of Austin. The 8th annual Cause For the Paws weekend is slotted September 18-19.
• Nick Jonas – He’s been named the official music curator for the 2016 Miss America Competition. The 89th Miss America pageant is being held at the Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City NJ on Sunday, September 13, 2015.
• Shania Twain – She tells “Las Vegas Sun” she wants to return to her residency at Caesars Palace once she wraps her “Rock This Country” tour later this year. She says her show could return to Vegas next Fall or perhaps in 2017.
• Soundgarden – Chris Cornell tells “Rolling Stone” the band is working on new material for an album. Cornell’s new solo album, “Higher Truth”, is due September 18th.
• Sugarland – Jennifer Nettles has left Universal Nashville and signed with Big Machine Records. She’ll release a new solo single in October, ahead of her 2nd solo album that’s coming early next year.

Maybe you saw the stories this silly season about the hot new trend of middle-class mothers commissioning jewelry made out of their breast milk, only for squeamish Etsy to ban it? It’s  not a patch on what you can lay your hands on in the UAE though. One company in Dubai makes jewelry out of practically anything you want … breast milk, hair, your pet’s ashes. Someone has even been asking them about getting some foreskin whipped up into a flash accessory. And what does this sort of thing look like? Here’s a picture of one of their placenta pieces …

The USA is far and away the dominant location for producing pop stars. More than 70% (72.2% to be precise) of pop stars between 1950-and-2014 were born in the US. Less than a quarter (15.6%) of pop stars were born in the UK, but 2 British bands – The Beatles and the Rolling Stones – are the only acts to make the list of the top 50 best-selling music artists across 4 different decades. Nearly 6% (5.56%) of pop stars hail from Canada. No other country, aside from Italy, accounts for more than 1% of pop stars. More than 20% of the world’s biggest pop stars over the past 5 decades have been born in just 2 cities: NYC (14%) and London (7%).

New stats show that many teens have been getting cosmetic work over the Summer in order to put their best face forward for Fall. The start of the school year is the unofficial end of the Summer plastic surgery season, as students return with new boobs, shapelier noses, and prettier pouts. Doctors say it’s no wonder girls in particular are asking for adult procedures, what with all the work being done by role models such as Kylie Jenner (lip injections and perhaps more when she was just 17) and Iggy Azalea, who shows off her nose and boob jobs in the September issue of “Seventeen” magazine. Thanks to social media and reality TV, it seems nobody thinks twice about plastic surgery anymore. (If you’re fretting over the cost of back-to-school clothes consider this … a nose job can cost $10,000.)
– “New York Daily News”

Several studies show that the mere feeling of being watched may help prevent crime. That’s because there’s a system in the brain devoted to noticing where other people are looking. This ‘gaze detection’ system is partially subconscious: It usually registers as a feeling of unease or heightened awareness. What’s interesting is the system differentiates automatically between direct eye contact and someone staring in your general direction. Cops in Nottinghamshire UK registered a 37% reduction in crime after posting signs with a police inspector’s eyes on them. And there’s been 63% fewer bike thefts at Newcastle University since signs with eyes were put up around the campus. (It seems ‘keeping an eye on’ someone actually works.)
– “Smithsonian Magazine”

The results of scientific studies about how people act or think can rarely be replicated. A team of 270 scientists has tried to reproduce 100 psychology and social science studies that have been published in top peer-reviewed journals. Just 39% came out with the same results as the originals. The scientists note that this disappointing outcome does not necessarily mean that research is invalid or falsified, but it does suggest we should be less confident about many of the ‘scientific studies’ we are exposed to. The bottom line: A scientific claim doesn’t become believable because of the status or authority of the person that generated it but rather the repeatability of its supporting evidence. (A lot of ‘research’ is paid for by grants from corporations that are looking for a specific outcome.)
– AFP RelaxNews

Almost none of the women in the Ashley Madison database ever actually used the cheating website. Only 0.007% as many women as men checked messages on Ashley Madison.


1945 [70] Van Morrison, Belfast, Northern Ireland, classic rock-pop-blues singer (“Moondance”, “Brown Eyed Girl”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (1993)

1949 [66] Richard Gere, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“Chicago”, “Pretty Woman”)

1972 [43] Chris Tucker, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“Rush Hour” movies)/stand-up comedian

1975 [40] Sara Ramirez, Mazatlan, Mexico, TV actress  (‘Dr Callie Torres’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” since 2006)/Broadway actress (Tony Award-“Spamalot”)

• “Eat Outside Day”, a great excuse to eat outside one more time before Summer comes to an end and we all get busy with Fall activities.

• “Invent a New Sandwich Day”, and be sure to give it a really creative name!

• “Love Litigating Lawyers Day”, because even shysters need affection.

• “Trail Mix Day”, celebrating the combination of nuts, seeds, dried fruits (bark, twigs, compost, etc) that takes about a gallon of water to wash down.

2007 [08] Horror thriller remake “Halloween”, directed by rocker-turned-filmmaker Rob Zombie, opens in movie theaters

1955 [60] 1st ‘Sun-Powered Automobile’ is demonstrated (60 years later and you still can’t buy one)

1995 [20] 6 people die attempting to rescue a chicken that has fallen down a well in southern Egypt (only the chicken survives)

[Sep 1] Building Code Staff Appreciation Day / No Rhyme Nor Reason Day
[Sep 2] “A Walk In the Woods” opens in movie theaters
[Sep 3] Wilderness Day / Skyscraper Day
[Sep 4] “Before We Go”; “Break Point”; “Dirty Weekend”; “Steve Jobs: The Man In the Machine”; “The Transporter Refueled” open in movie theaters / Wildlife Day / Bring Your Manners to Work Day / Newspaper Carrier Day / Lazy Moms Day
[Sep 5] X-Fest begins (Calgary AB) / Sonic Boom Festival opens (Edmonton AB) / Made In America Festival begins (Philadelphia PA) / Bumbershoot Festival opens (Seattle WA) / Be Late For Something Day / International Day of Charity / Jury Rights Day
[Sep 6] Read a Book Day
[Sep 7] Labor Day (Canada, USA) / U2’s “Innocence + Experience World Tour” airs (HBO)/ Attention Deficit Disorder Awareness Day / Salami Day
[Sep 8] “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” debuts (CBS/Global) / “Ellen DeGeneres Show” season debut (syndicated) / “Independent Music Awards” (London UK) / International Literacy Day / Pardon Day / Pediatric Hematology-Oncology Nurses Day / World Physical Therapy Day
[Sep 9] Queen Elizabeth II surpasses Queen Victoria / Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Day / Wonderful Weirdoes Day
[Sep 10] 40th Toronto International Film Festival opens (Toronto ON) / Bestival begins (Isle of Wight UK) / World Suicide Prevention Day
[Sep 11] “The Perfect Guy”; “Sleeping With Other People”; “Wolf Totem”; “The Visit” open in movie theaters / Riot Fest begins (Chicago IL) / 9-11 Remembrance Day / Stand Up to Cancer Day / Iguana Awareness Day
[Sep 12] “Johnny Cash: American Rebel” premieres (CMT) / LouFest opens (St Louis MO) / Lollapalooza Berlin begins (Germany) / International Day for South-South Cooperation / Farmers Consumer Awareness Day / International Drive Your Studebaker Day
[Sep 13] Miss America 2016 (Atlantic City NJ) / International Chocolate Day / Kids Take Over the Kitchen Day / Celiac Awareness Day / Grandparents Day / Peanut Day / Hug Your Hound Day / Pet Memorial Day
[Sep 14] “U2 in Paris” airs (HBO) / Boss-Employee Exchange Day / World Maritime Day
[Sep 15] “The Mindy Project” season premiere (Hulu) / 8-Track Tape Day / Greenpeace Day / International Day of Democracy
[Sep 16] “Pawn Sacrifice” opens in movie theaters / International Day For the Preservation Of the Ozone Layer / Guacamole Day / Stepfamily Day / School Backpack Awareness Day
[Sep 17] Streamy Awards (YouTube/VH1) / International Country Music Day
[Sep 18] “About Ray”; “Black Mass”; “Captive”; “Everest”; “Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials”; “Sicario” open in movie theaters / “Keith Richards: Under the Influence” premieres (Netflix) / 5th annual iHeartRadio Music Festival opens (Las Vegas NV) / Rock In Rio begins (Brazil) / Hug a Greeting Card Writer Day / Cheeseburger Day / World Water Monitoring Day / Clean Up the World Weekend / POW-MIA Recognition Day / Tradesmen Day
[Sep 19] 30th Farm Aid (Chicago IL) / Riot Fest begins (Toronto ON) / Talk Like a Pirate Day / Responsible Dog Ownership Day / International Eat An Apple Day / International Coastal Cleanup Day / Seat Check Saturday / Puppy Mill Awareness Day
[Sep 20] Gymnastics Day /  Worldwide Day of Play / Wife Appreciation Day
[Sep 21] “The Voice” season premiere (NBC) / Polaris Prize announced (Toronto ON) / World Alzheimer’s Day / Respect For the Aged Day
[Sep 22] Business Women’s Day / Car Free Day / Dear Diary Day / Elephant  Appreciation Day / Hobbit Day / Ice Cream Cone Day / Centenarians Day / White Chocolate Day / Woman Road Warrior Day / Yom Kippur (Jewish)
[Sep 23] Autumn begins / Celebrate Bisexuality Day / Restless Legs Awareness Day / Rehabilitation Day
[Sep 24] Punctuation Day / Rosh Hashanah begins (Jewish) / Banned Website Awareness Day
[Sep 25] “A Brave Heart: The Lizzie Velasquez Story”; “The Green Inferno”; “Hotel Transylvania 2”; “The Intern”; “Mississippi Grind”; “99 Homes”; “Stonewall” open in movie theaters / Boston Calling festival opens (Boston MA) / One-Hit Wonder Day / Psychotherapy Day / World Pharmacists Day / World School Milk Day / Vegan Baking Day / Hug a Vegetarian Day / Love Note Day / Save the Koala Day
[Sep 26] Global Citizen Festival (NYC) / World Contraception Day / Family Health & Fitness Day / Fish Amnesty Day / International Lace Day / Hunting & Fishing Day / International Rabbit Day / Public Lands Day
[Sep 27] “Blood & Oil” premieres (ABC) / “CSI” series finalé (CBS) / Full ‘Harvest’ Moon / Ancestor Appreciation / World Tourism Day
[Sep 28] “The Daily Show with Trevor Noah” debuts (Comedy Central) / Fish Tank Floorshow Night / Drink Beer Day / Good Neighbor Day / International Right to Know Day / World Heart Day / World Rabies Day
[Sep 29] Mutation Day / International Coffee Day
[Sep 30] “The Walk” opens in movie theaters / Ask a Stupid Question Day / Blasphemy Day / International Translation Day / Women’s Health & Fitness Day


Highlight bits culled from 22 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
✗ Texas Electric-Chair Tester.
✗ Cat Food Quality Controller
✗ Hooker in Amish country.
✗ Roadkill Cleanup Crew.
✗ Taser Tester.
✗ Sunblock Boy, senior citizens’ nude beach.
– First published in “BS” 2012.

• “Dammit, that’s the 3rd band-aid I’ve lost this week!”
• “C’mon! Let’s get those forks spit-shined!”
• “Y’know, those food prep gloves work in a pinch for a prostate exam.”
• “Attention! Did anyone on the kitchen staff lose a finger?”
• “Dude, you have to use the microwave to heat up that chicken. You can’t just keep it your pants!”
• “I can’t believe he STILL ate it!!”
– First published in “BS” 2000.

☎ What things you should NEVER say to new parents?
– “So was it planned?”
– “When’s the next baby due? Soon, by the look of things.”
– “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

My plants do better when I do NOT talk to them.

Question: Typical children use THESE 730 times by their 10th birthday.
Answer: Crayons.

Confession is good for the soul, but bad for your career.

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