Monday, August 4, 2014        Edition: #5276


Here’s More Bull Roar!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Are these the most confusing song lyrics ever? Here are some of the most nonsensical lyrics of all-time, according to a new Blinkbox Music poll …
• The Killers, “Human” … “Are we human, or are we dancer?”
• Lionel Richie, “All Night Long” … “Tom bo li de se de moi ya, hey jambo jambo”
• Carly Rae Jepson, “Call Me Maybe” … “Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad”
• Black Eyed Peas, “Boom Boom Pow” … “Beats so big I’m stepping on leprechauns”
• Taylor Swift, “Love Story” … “Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter, and my daddy said stay away from Juliet.”
• Oasis, “Champagne Supernova” … “Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball”
– “The Telegraph”
★ While wife Jennifer Garner has been supportive of 42-year-old hubby Ben Affleck’s gambling habit, some of his friends are said to be concerned his poker-playing has become obsessive since taking on the high-pressure lead role in the movie “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice”. Word has it he’s been playing $5,000-hands in the high-roller rooms of Detroit MI casinos while filming there on location. His pals are reportedly starting to worry that he’s becoming increasingly withdrawn and preoccupied with playing cards.
– RadarOnline.com
★ And actor Johnny Depp is said to be getting cold feet about walking down the aisle with fiancée Amber Heard. A source claims the 51-year-old star is worried his 28-year-old bride-to-be is likely to leave him for a younger guy after seeing her getting cozy with co-star James Franco on the set of “The Adderall Diaries”. In addition, Depp’s kids, Lily-Rose (15) and Jack (12), apparently don’t want Amber as their stepmom. Bottom line: The wedding has been pushed back until the middle of next year, at the earliest.
– “National Enquirer”

TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Arsenio Hall” (syndicated) – Hot Chelle Rae (“Recklessly”). Rerun.
• “Bachelor in Paradise” (ABC) – Former heros and villains from “The Bachelor” return for a 2nd chance at finding love.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Jake Bugg (“Shangri La”); Macklemore & Ryan Lewis (“The Heist”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV2) – Rixton (“Wait On Me”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/Omni1) – Empires (“Orphan”). Rerun.
• “MTV House of Style” – Today the classic show returns for a limited run with new host Iggy Azalea. Weekly episodes will lead up to the August 24th “2014 MTV Video Music Awards”. The series is based at Houseofstyle.MTV.com but will also surface on multiple platforms.
• “Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV2) – Spoon (“They Want My Soul”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – She & producer-hubby Swizz Beatz are expecting their 2nd child. The couple married in 2010 and already have a 3-year-old son.
• 5 Seconds Of Summer – They’ve debuted at #1 on the ‘Billboard SoundScan’ album chart this week with their self-titled full-length debut.
• Foo Fighters – Producer/musician Butch Vig has announced their new album is officially completed … after 23 straight days of mixing. His assessment: ” It’s epic!”. The Foos’ 8th studio album will be out in November.
• “Frozen” – The Disney soundtrack is at #2 this week, having now spent 31 weeks in-a-row amongst the top 5 albums.
• Garth Brooks – He’s apparently decided to roll out the cities on his world tour one-by-one via his website instead of announcing the full schedule. After selling out 10 shows in Chicago IL for early September, he’s next heading to Atlanta GA beginning September 19th.
• Iggy Azalea – In a new interview, actor Vin Diesel has revealed that she has a cameo role in the upcoming “Fast & Furious 7″ movie, which is opening in April 2015.
• Jackson Browne / John Fogerty – The classic rockers are co-headlining a pair of concerts, tonight in Holmdel NJ and tomorrow night at Jones Beach in Wantagh NY.
• Jason Aldean – His new single “Burnin’ It Down” has catapulted from #42 to #1 on this week’s ‘Billboard Hot Country Songs’ chart.
• Katy Perry – She recently sang at an event in the East Room of the White House titled “A Celebration of Special Olympics & A Unified Generation” to mark the anniversary of the Special Olympics.
• Lorde – It’s been announced she will curate the soundtrack for “The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1″ (in theaters November 21st). She’ll also provide the lead single for the soundtrack album.
• Rolling Stones – He co-produced the new James Brown bio-film “Get On Up” in partnership with filmmaker Brian Grazer. The film was in the works for 12 years.
• The Who – ScreenDaily.com reports the classic rockers are in talks to co-produce a TV drama about London’s music scene in the 1960s. Titled “Mods & Rockers”, the series is slated for 8 one-hour episodes to be aired internationally. Simon West (“Con Air”) is helming the project.

ONE-HOUR PHOTO:
A new smartphone app simulates a retro camera by making you wait an hour to see your photos. Free for iPhone, the ’1-Hour Photo’ app aims to whisk us all away to simpler times. The premise is straightforward: You can use the app to snap pics, but you have to wait an hour for photos to virtually ‘develop’ before you can see them. And just to add an extra old-timey touch, your photos are converted to black & white. As a super bonus (for the rest of us … maybe not you, though), the front-facing camera is disabled, meaning there’s now way to take selfies. (How much longer do you give the craze before it’s seen as the self-absorbed passé fad that it is?)
– TIME.com

BS RETRONYMS THAT WILL HELP YOU COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR GRANDPARENTS:
A retronym is a term that’s been renamed after something similar but newer has come into being. For instance …
• Baja California – The name ‘California’ originally referred to this peninsula. Once it came to refer to the state, the peninsula became Baja, or lower, California.
• Corn-on-the-Cob – Before canned corn was widely available corn-on-the cob was simply corn.
• Field Hockey – It was known as ‘hockey’ until hockey on ice and roller hockey came into being.
• Forward Slash – Before the age of computers, typewriters only had one type of slash, the forward slash (/). The back slash was yet to be commonly used.
• Handwritten – The word was first coined in the late 19th century to contrast with ‘typewritten’.
• Hardcover Book – Prior to the rise of the paperback book in the 1930s, all books had hard covers.
• Hot Chocolate – Before the invention of sweet solid chocolate the word ‘chocolate’ referred to the drink.
• Landline – When ‘phone’ stopped referring to a communication device connected to the kitchen wall, it became necessary to distinguish things.
• Live Music – Here’s one that might be hard for you to wrap your head around, but before the rise of recorded music, all music was live.
• Railroad Car – Before the invention of the automobile, all cars were railroad cars.
• Static Electricity – For thousands of years it was the only kind of electricity known.
• World War I – Originally called ‘The Great War’ or ‘The War to End All Wars’ … until World War II came along.
– Adapted from List25.com

HOW TO BE A BETTER KISSER:
Oxford University researchers say that adults, especially women, consider the quality of first kisses a key to a partner’s attractiveness and relationship potential. Related University of Texas research has found that two-thirds of women and over half of men recall terminating budding relationships because they disliked the way a partner kissed. So what’s the secret? A new survey finds the best kissing begins with mouths closed, then moves on to parted lips, and finally dancing tongues. In a poll of young adults, the vast majority cite fresh breath, clean teeth, and good grooming as vital to a successful kiss. Likewise, the majority prefer soft, moist lips; deep breathing; mutual caresses; and assertiveness rather passiveness. (Otherwise you’re likely to be kissed off.)
– AARP.org

FOR THE RECORD:
The “World’s Largest Ketchup Bottle”, a 70-foot-high container atop a 100-foot water tower in Collinsville IL, is for sale. The quirky landmark on the site of the former Brooks Catsup Co has stood at the southern edge of town since 1949. The price … $500,000. If that seems a lot, the real selling point is the adjacent 90,000-square-foot warehouse. The current owner is hoping that whoever buys the building – along with the big bottle – respects its history.
– “St Louis Post-Dispatch”

DID YOU KNOW?
Insects are a food source for 1 out of every 3 people worldwide.
– Yahoo! News

BS CHRONOMETER 08.04.14


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1955 [59] Billy Bob Thornton, Hot Springs AR, TV actor (‘Lorne Malvo’ on “Fargo” 2014)/movie actor (“Bad Santa”, “Sling Blade”)/married 5 times, including Angelina Jolie 2000-03  BS FACTOID: He recently revealed on “Oprah’s Master Class” that he wears girls’ jeans, because he’s ‘kind of bony’ and they fit better.

1961 [53] Barack Obama, Honolulu HI, 44th US President since 2009/Nobel Peace Prize laureate (2009)/US Senator (IL) 2005-08/Illinois State Senator 1997-2004  BS FACTOID: He’s admitted recently that ‘back in the day’ he had a little crush on singer Linda Ronstadt.

1971 [43] Jeff Gordon, Vallejo CA, auto racer/owner (4-time NASCAR champ, 3-time “Daytona 500″ winner)

1988 [26] Tom Parker, Bolton UK, pop singer (The Wanted-”Chasing the Sun”, “Glad You Came”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Assistance Dog Day”, a highlight of “Assistance Dog Week”, observed since 2007 to recognize the dedicated dogs who serve human partners with physical or mental disabilities by becoming their aide, companion, helper, and best friend.
NET: http://www.assistancedogweek.org

• “Chocolate Chip Day”, saluting those tiny little morsels of decadence that make almost any dessert taste better. (There’s hardly any calories in them, right? They’re just little.)

• “Civic Holiday”, celebrated annually on the 1st Monday in August in 7 provinces & 1 territory of Canada, though it goes by various names in each. Who cares what it’s called … party!

• “Coast Guard Day” in America. The ‘Revenue Cutter Service’, formed on this date in 1790, merged with the ‘Life Saving Service’ in 1915 to become the US Coast Guard.

• “Psychic Day”, to encourage us to take the initiative to improve the 6th-sense that’s lying dormant within us all. The day’s origins date back to 19th-century England.

• “Sturgis Motorcycle Rally”, the 74th annual through Sunday in South Dakota’s Black Hills, when bikers of all backgrounds roll in. The week’s entertainment includes Collective Soul, The Cult, Montgomery Gentry, Queensryche … and the ‘Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant’.
NET: http://www.sturgismotorcyclerally.com

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1989 [25] “Sex, Lies & Videotape”, the directorial debut of Steven Soderbergh, opens in movie theaters, starring James Spader, Andie MacDowell, Peter Gallagher & Laura San Giacomo

1998 [16] Consumer ‘HDTV’ television sets are introduced, with a MSRP of $5,500

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
1990 [24] Mariah Carey’s debut single, “Vision Of Love”, hits #1 on pop charts

1993 [21] Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain checks into LA’s Cedars-Sinai Hospital to be treated for heroin addiction (dies a year later)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2012 [02] At the London Games, South Africa’s Oscar Pistorius (‘The Blade Runner’) becomes the 1st amputee sprinter to compete in the Olympics (currently on trial for murder)

COMING UP . . .
[Tues] National Night Out
[Tues] Oyster Day
[Tues] Underwear Day
[Wed] Fresh Breath Day
[Thurs] Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day
[Thurs] Professional Speakers Day

THIS WEEK IS . . .
Bargain Hunting Week / Exercise With Your Child Week / Farmers Market Week / Fraud Awareness Week / International Clown Week / International Tree Climbing Days / Knights of Columbus Family Week / Psychic Week / Simplify Your Life Week / World Breastfeeding Week

BULL’S BITS


BEST OF BS:
Highlight bits culled from 21 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
BS SIGNS YOU’RE DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE:
• You jam a fork into the waiter’s hand when he tries to refill your regular coffee with decaf.
• When a Starbucks commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV screen.
• Neighbors call 9-1-1 to complain about the noise of your chattering teeth.
• You finish your 60-minute presentation before everyone is seated.
• You get pulled over for speeding and you’re not even in your car.
• You grind your own coffee beans … in your mouth.
• Your doc needs a calculator to take your pulse.
• You answer the door before people knock.
– First published in “BS” 1999.

BS SIGNS YOU PICKED THE WRONG MOVER:
• They loaded up your entire house-ful of furniture 7 weeks ago and never asked for your new address.
• They don’t use peanuts to pack your fine crystal, they use peanut butter.
• They keep flicking ashes in Grandma’s urn.
• Nothing gets broken during the loading and unloading, but you see more ‘crack’ than a narc.
• Before moving the furniture, they remove all the drawers … their drawers.
• Your collection of private home videos made with your spouse shows up several weeks after the move … online.
• An hour after the truck pulls away, all your stuff is listed on eBay.
• The box marked ‘knickknacks’ seems to be barking.
– First published in “BS” 2011.
NET: http://www.FreeRadioPrep.com

BS PHONE STARTER:
☎ What cute name do you call your girlfriend/boyfriend? (How about: Buttercup, Cuddle Bug, Hot Lips, Kitten, Lady Love, Love Bug,  Precious, Pudding, or Smooch?)

BS WEB GOODIE:
Chinese women are wearing ‘facekini’ masks at the beach to avoid sunburn, insects, and male scrutiny. A pic for your website …
NET: http://tinyurl.com/mh8xrkc

BS RANDOM JOKE:
VISA is everywhere you want to be … except out of debt.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: THIS is true of 6% of all websites.
Answer: They use Russian as their primary language.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Many great discoveries are made by not following instructions.

LOOK WHO’S BS-ING NOW!
Jerry James @ Taku 105.1 [KTKU] Juneau AK; Charlie Ray @ Kat Country 100.7 [KATJ] Victorville CA; Mark Johnson @ Pioneer 90.1 [KSRQ] Thief River Falls MN; Annika Sonic @ 95-3 DNH [WDNH] Honesdale PA; and Michiel Combrinck @ Radio Rosestad 100.6 FM Bloemfontein, South Africa.


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