Friday, August 5, 2011        Edition: #4565

Deja Moo!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
There may be a bitter battle brewing between Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony as she’s reportedly seeking full custody of their 3-year-old twins and is determined to make sure she’s the primary caretaker (take that, macho man!) . . . “Life & Style” magazine is reporting that former WWE star & “Dancing With the Stars” contestant Stacy Keibler has flown to Italy to spend time with newly-single actor George Clooney at his villa in Lake Como (an insider says this fling is ‘purely for fun’) . . . “Bridesmaids” scene-stealer Melissa McCarthy has been announced as a “Saturday Night Live” host for next season (you go, ‘Megan’!) . . . It’s been announced that Charlie Sheen’s replacement Ashton Kutcher will play an Internet billionaire named ‘Walden Schmidt’ when he takes over as star of  “Two-and-a-Half Men” (for about 3 weeks, we bet) . . . Actress Lauren Ambrose (“Six Feet Under”) has knocked off Lea Michele (“Glee”) for the lead in Broadway’s upcoming revival of “Funny Girl” (we can hear the hissy fit from here) . . . 30-year-old actress Jessica Alba, currently mega-pregnant with her 2nd child, says she hates working out so she’ll lose her baby weight by ‘starving herself’ (how to be a standard-bearer for healthy living) . . . 32-year-old actress Katie Holmes (“Don’t Be Afraid Of The Dark”, opening August 26th) has revealed she’s more afraid of raccoons, so scared when once confronted by one – she barked at it (her best method acting yet) . . . And actress Gwyneth Paltrow is blabbing silly again, telling “Elle” magazine in its September issue that her husband (Coldplay’s Chris Martin) is a ‘musical genius’ and fawning ‘it’s like living with Picasso’ (uh, did Pablo play piano?).

WEEKEND SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Edmonton Folk Music Festival”, the 31st annual through Sunday at Edmonton’s downtown Gallagher Park. This year’s line-up includes Gipsy Kings, kd lang & The Siss Boom Bang, KT Tunstall, Lyle Lovett & His Large Band, and Wanda Jackson among many others.
NET: http://www.efmf.ab.ca
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Nicki Minaj (“Pink Friday”).
• “Honda Civic Tour” – Tonight the 40-plus-date 2011 version gets underway in Holmdel NJ. On the bill: Blink-182, Manchester Orchestra, Matt & Kim, My Chemical Romance, and others.
NET: http://civictour.honda.com
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Tonight Lady Gaga (“Born This Way”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Fitz & the Tantrums (“Pickin’ Up the Pieces”). Rerun.
• “Lollapalooza” – Tonight the 3-day festival returns to Chicago’s Grant Park. Weekend headliners include Coldplay, Eminem, Foo Fighters, Muse, and My Morning Jacket.
NET: http://www.lollapalooza.com
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Ed Helms (“The Hangover 2”); musical guest Paul Simon (“So Beautiful or So What”). Rerun.
• “Teen Choice Awards” (FOX) – Sunday Kaley Cuoco (“The Big Bang Theory”) hosts as the annual fan-voted surfboard trophies are handed out in 66 categories from movies to TV to tweeting. “Twilight Saga: Eclipse” leads nominations with 12, followed by TV musical “Glee” with 9. Taylor Swift  receives the ‘Ultimate Choice Award’ for career achievement.
NET: http://teenchoiceawards.com
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Maroon 5 (“Hands All Over”).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Rye Rye f/Robyn (“Go Pop Bang”).
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Today Alison Krauss & Union Station (“Paper Airplane”).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Amy Winehouse – The duet she recorded with Tony Bennett for his “Duets II” album (due September 20th) will become a charity single for the addiction foundation started by her father Mitch in her honor. “Body & Soul” was the last song she recorded.
• Eric Church – The country singer’s 3rd album, “Chief”, tops this week’s all-genre album sales chart, according to Nielsen SoundScan. Church is also #1 on the country chart for the first time.
• Jason Mraz – Sunday he kicks off a world tour with a performance at the “Musicians United for Safe Energy “ (MUSE) benefit concert in Mountain View, California.
• Katy Perry – “Teenage Dream” has become the first album to score five #1 singles in the 19-year history of “Billboard” magazine’s ‘Top 40’ chart.
• Kings Of Leon – Their cancelled US tour could prove costly. “Rolling Stone” reports Lloyd’s Of London may have to pay out up to $15 million to promoters, venues, and anyone else financially affected by the aborted concerts.
• Michael Jackson – Global Live Events, organizer of “Michael Forever – The Tribute Concert” planned for Cardiff, Wales in October, is still promising headline acts will be announced in ‘the days to come’. The Wednesday press conference to announce performers was cancelled. The event’s website claims “announcements will follow very soon.” (This puppy’s dead in the water.)
NET: http://home.michaelforevertribute.com/home.html

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENINGS:
• “The Change-Up” ( R-Rated Comedy ): After a night of drinking, a family guy (Jason Bateman) magically switches bodies with his longtime friend (Ryan Reynolds), a single, responsibility-free hedonist. As the guys experience the realities of each other’s lives, they work on a way to get their old ones back. Co-stars Leslie Mann, Olivia Wilde.
NET: http://www.thechangeupmovie.com
• “Rise Of the Planet Of the Apes” ( PG-13 Sci-Fi Thriller ): In this prequel to the long-running series (since 1968), James Franco plays a scientist experimenting on a chimpanzee named ‘Caesar’ (Andy Serkis). The resulting development of animal intelligence brings about a war for supremacy between humans and apes. Co-stars Freida Pinto, John Lithgow.
NET: http://www.apeswillrise.com

LIKE SENDING COALS TO NEWCASTLE:
A shortage of chopsticks in China has become so acute that an American company has begun exporting millions to the country. “Georgia Chopsticks”, based in Americus, Georgia, is producing 2 million sets of the traditional eating utensils per day. It’s operating around-the-clock to keep up with demand and hopes to be exporting 10 million pairs a day by the end of the year, each set marked ‘Made in USA’. Amid a shortage of wood in China, the abundant poplar and sweet gum trees in Georgia have been found ideal for making chopsticks. (Ironic … most of the other stuff that used to be made in America is now made in China.)
– Telegraph.co.uk

MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY:
Highlights of a recent poll of some 14,000 people about breakfast …
• 89% of mothers want their kids to eat breakfast daily but 40% say their kids do not eat breakfast every day.
• 77% of younger children eat breakfast daily. That number declines to 50% during middle school, and 36% during high school.
• 54% of adults would like to eat breakfast daily … but only 34% do.
– MrBreakfast.com

FACING FACTS:
Carnegie Mellon University researchers have developed a system whereby PittPatt facial recognition software is used to instantly match people up with their Facebook profiles, giving access to names, birth dates, and other demographic info. Simply running a photo through the system hits a bingo for 1-in-3 test subjects. A smartphone app has been developed that can perform the facial recognition in real time, then overlay the subject’s online info within minutes. (Someday you might walk into a bar, scan the crowd through hi-tech eyeglasses, and immediately know people’s names and interests. Creepy!)
– “New Scientist”

DID YOU KNOW?
Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different. (Now there’s a “CSI” storyline!)
– Halife.com

BS CHRONOMETER 08.05.11


TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1959 [52] Pat Smear, LA CA, rock guitarist (Foo Fighters-“Walk”, “The Pretender”, Nirvana-“You Know You’re Right”)

1964 [47] Adam (‘MCA’) Yauch, NYC, rapper (Beastie Boys-“Make Some Noise”, “Ch-Check It Out”)/recent cancer survivor

1968 [43] Terri Clark (Sauson), Montréal QC [raised Medicine Hat AB], country singer (“Girls Lie Too”, “You’re Easy On the Eyes”)

SATURDAY –
Movie actress Michelle Yeoh (“Memoirs Of a Geisha”) is 49; Screenwriter-director M Night Shyamalan (“The Sixth Sense”) is 41; Former pop singer Geri Halliwell (Spice Girls) is 39; Pop singer Travie McCoy (Gym Class Heroes) is 30; Pop bassist Eric Roberts (Gym Class Heroes) is 27.

SUNDAY –
Radio personality/author Garrison Keillor (“A Prairie Home Companion”) is 69; Rock singer Bruce Dickinson (Iron Maiden) is 53; TV actor David Duchovny (“Californication”) is 51; Movie actress Charlize Theron (“Monster”) is 36; Rock drummer Barry Kerch (Shinedown) is 35; NHL star Sydney Crosby (Pittsburgh Penguins) is 24.

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “International Beer Day”, celebrating suds from around-the-world. What’s the absolute best beer on Earth?
• “Twins Days Festival”, the world’s largest gathering of twins through Sunday in Twinsburg, Ohio. They’ll be seeing double in this town all weekend!
NET: http://www.twinsdays.org
• “Underwear Day”, the 9th annual organized by online retailer FreshPair.com. A good excuse to take a vote: Boxers, Briefs, Boxer-Briefs, or Commando?
NET: http://www.freshpair.com/underwear-day.html

SATURDAY –
• “Fresh Breath Day”, a gentle reminder to maintain oral hygiene. If you’re average, you have over 10 billion bacteria in your mouth right now. Ew!
• “Garage Sale Day”, saluting a North American institution on what’s likely to be a popular day for garage/yard sales. For argument’s sake, if you put a dollar-value on all your time taken to  prepare and then clean-up after a sale … would it really be worthwhile?
• “Halfway Point of Summer”, time to quit carping about the weather and savor the last few weeks of the season.
• “National Scrabble Championship”, through August 10th in Dallas, Texas, where over 400 experts from the US & Canada compete for the $10,000 first prize. (Try a little play-by-play).
NET: http://bit.ly/indXwO
• “Pamper Yourself Day”. If you were to be given any free luxury treatment you wanted, which would you pick? Massage? Steam room? Pedicure? Chocolate bath?
• “Wiggle Your Toes Day” in celebration of “Foot Health Month”. Slippers are officially OK today!

SUNDAY –
• “Assistance Dog Week” begins, observed since 2007 to recognize the dedicated dogs who serve human partners with physical or mental disabilities by becoming their aide, companion, helper, and best friend.
NET: http://www.assistancedogweek.org
• “Lighthouse Day”, an annual observance when lighthouse grounds, where feasible, are open to the public. No more lonely lighthouse keepers these days … they’re all automated.
• “Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day”, an annual observance to draw attention to the environmentally unfriendly over-packaging of consumer goods. Which do you think are the most over-packaged products?
• “Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction” in Canton, Ohio. This year’s inductees are Chris Hanburger, Deion Sanders, Ed Sabol, Les Richter, Marshall Faulk, Richard Dent, and Shannon Sharpe. The Sunday Hall of Fame exhibition game has been cancelled due to the NFL lockout.
NET: http://www.profootballhof.com
• “Professional Speakers Day”, an annual salute to those who move us and inform us through the magic of their oratory talents.
NET: http://www.professionalspeakersday.com
• “Sisters Day”, an annual celebration of female sibs on the first Sunday of August.

ONE YEAR AGO . . .
2010 [01] The Copiapo mining accident occurs, trapping 33 Chilean miners approximately 2,300 feet below ground (the ensuing story of their rescue becomes a worldwide obsession)

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1983 [28] The movie “Risky Business” opens, launching Tom Cruise to stardom

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
2007 [04] DNA tests prove at least 2 of 12 claimants to the estate of recently-deceased soul singer James Brown are legitimate (adding to the 6 children already named in his will)

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1914 [97] The world’s 1st electric traffic signal is put into place on the corner of Euclid Avenue & East 105th Street in Cleveland, Ohio

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1989 [22] ‘Largest Game of Musical Chairs’ features 8,238 participants (China)

1989 [22] ‘Largest Hamburger’ weighs 5,520 lbs (Seymour, Wisconsin)

1990 [21] ‘Tallest Cake’ – 101 feet – is baked & served (Corunna, Michigan)

1994 [17] ‘Largest Cocktail’ (Finlandia Sea Breeze) measures 2,933 gallons (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)

2002 [09] ‘Most Women Breast-Feeding Simultaneously’ – 1,135 moms (Berkeley, California)

COMING UP . . .
[Mon] The Date to Create
[Mon] Happiness Happens Day
[Mon] Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night
[Tues] International Day Of the World’s Indigenous People
[Wed] “The Help” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] Smithsonian Day
[Wed] S’mores Day
This Week Is … Simplify Your Life Week
This Month Is … Foot Health Month

BULL’S BITS


BS THINGS THE DOCTOR REALLY SAID WHEN CALLED ABOUT MONKEYS JUMPING ON THE BED:
• “I’m not in private practice anymore.”
• “I can’t do anything due to insurance reasons. Call 9-1-1.
• “I think you need a veterinarian.”
• “Didn’t you just call me about 1 monkey ago?”
• “How did you get this number?”
– Thanks to Vince Eckert

BS RANDOM JOKE:
Government Rule #6,023: If it sits on your desk for 15 minutes, you’ve just become the expert.

BEFORE THEY WERE FAMOUS:
We give you a clue; you guess who the famous person is …
• Graduated magna cum laude from Harvard with a degree in US History. (Conan O’Brien)
• Her first job was serving in a Greek restaurant. (Lady Gaga)
• He once had a job dressing as a giant chicken while working for El Pollo Loco. (Brad Pitt)
• As a child, she sang the anthem at Pittsburgh PA sporting events. (Christina Aguilera)
• When she was 14, she worked in a snack bar at a swim club. (Tina Fey)
– Adapted from HardlyFamous.com

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: According to a recent survey, after ‘Food’ and ‘Money’ what would most people want a lifetime supply of?
Answer to Give Out Next Show: ‘Cable/Satellite TV Service’.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Nobody roots for Goliath.


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