Friday, August 7, 2015        Edition: #5511

Get a Load of This Sheet!

★ Singer Nick Jonas is reportedly dating Kim Kardashian’s model step-sister Kendall Jenner following matchmaking efforts from his brother Joe Jonas and his new girlfriend Gigi Hadid. The “Jealous” hitmaker split from his beauty queen girlfriend of 2 years, Olivia Culpo, in June, and he recently revealed he was open to the idea of embarking on a new romance with the reality star. Now it seems they’ve taken their relationship to the next level. (Social media.)
– “Us Weekly”
★ Writer/director Adam McKay is adapting the long-running “Archie” comics series into a stage musical. McKay is writing the book for his Funny Or Die company, which he co-founded with longtime business partner Will Ferrell. He’s looking to debut the production in NYC, hopefully leading to a Broadway run. McKay previously directed and co-wrote the 2009 Broadway play “You’re Welcome America”, in which Ferrell reprised his famous “Saturday Night Live” impersonation of George W Bush. (Who should play ‘Betty’ and ‘Veronica’?)
• And in a new interview, Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards slams The Beatles’ “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” album as ”a load of s–t”. The 71-year-old says the Fab Four got “carried away” making the acclaimed 1967 album, once named “Rolling Stone” magazine’s #1 album of all-time. Quote: ”Some people think it’s a genius album, but I think it’s a mishmash of rubbish.” (For more information, see ‘Grumpy Old Men’.)
– “Esquire”

• “America’s Got Talent” (NBC/CityTV) – Tonight Mel B invites former judge Piers Morgan to help narrow down the field. Rerun.
• AmericanaFest 2015 (NYC) – Kasey Chambers and Lyle Lovett are among performers at this year’s 3-day Americana Music Association event, part of Lincoln Center’s Out Of Doors Series.
• “Ellen DeGeneres Show” (syndicated/CTV2) – Today Usher (“UR”). Rerun.
• “Good Morning America” (ABC) – This morning Luke Bryan (“Kill the Lights”, out today).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Stephen Marley (“Revelation Pt 2 – The Fruit of Life”). Rerun.
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Sweat Lodge (“Talismana”). Rerun.
• “Late Night With Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV) – Tonight Modest Mouse (“Strangers to Ourselves”). Rerun.
• Outside Lands (San Francisco CA) – The 8th annual 3-day music festival in Golden Gate Park is headlined by Black Keys, Elton John, Kendrick Lamar, Mumford & Sons, and Sam Smith.
• “Queen Latifah” (syndicated) – Today Janelle Monáe (“The Electric Lady”). Rerun.
• “Simon & Garfunkel: The Concert in Central Park” (PBS) – Saturday a concert special remembering the folk-rock duo’s 1981 performance for 500,000 fans in NYC’s Central Park.
• Squamish Valley Music Festival (Squamish BC) – Today-Sunday the lineup includes
Drake, Mumford & Sons, Of Monsters & Men, Sam Smith.
• “Today” (NBC) – This morning Keith Urban (“Fuse”) performs.

• Brad Paisley / Carrie Underwood – It’s been announced they’re returning to host the “CMA Awards” on ABC-TV for the 8th consecutive year this November.
• Dr Dre – Today he releases his 1st new album in 15 years, “Compton: A Soundtrack”, exclusively through iTunes. The project in conjunction with the upcoming NWA biopic “Straight Outta Compton” (opening August 14th), includes contributions from Eminem, Jill Scott, Kendrick Lamar, Ice Cube, and Snoop Dogg.
• John Mayer – “Billboard” reports he and 3 former members of the Grateful Dead will continue to honor the band under the name Dead & Company. Bob Weir, Mickey Hart, and Bill Kreutzmann are involved; bassist Phil Lesh has opted out.
• Katrina & The Waves – The rights to the pop classic “Walking on Sunshine” have been sold to music company BMG for a massive $16 million as part of a lucrative new deal for the 1980s band’s guitarist and songwriter Kimberley Rew.
• Luke Bryan – Today his new album “Kill the Lights” is out. The lead single “Kick the Dust Up” is also the name of his Summer tour, starting August 15th in Brownsville OR. Bryan is starting off his shows with this latest hit.
• Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – Their first new song since 2012, “Growing Up (Sloane’s Song)”, is inspired by the birth of Macklemore’s daughter, Sloane Ava Simone Haggerty, on May 29th.
• Meek Mill – The feud he began with Drake July 21st when he suggested Drizzy doesn’t write his own verse has taken an odd turn, with Meek now threatening to give the Toronto rapper … a wedgie. (How gangsta.)
• Supertramp – They’ve cancelled their European concert tour due to start in November because of aggressive cancer treatment its co-founder and vocalist Rick Davies is undergoing.
• Thompson Square – Keifer & Shawna Thompson have revealed that their country duo is about to become a trio in January with the arrival of their first child.
• The Weeknd – His new album “Beauty Behind the Madness” drops August 28th. It includes collaborations with Ed Sheeran, Lana Del Rey, and Brit musician Labrinth.

• “The Fantastic Four” ( PG-13 Action Adventure ): A group of outsiders teleport to a dangerous universe which alters their physical form in shocking ways. The foursome must learn to harness their new abilities and work together to save Earth from a former friend-turned-enemy. Stars Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Michael B Jordan, Jamie Bell. A sequel is already planned for 2017.
• “The Gift” ( R-Rated Mystery Thriller ): A young married couple’s lives are thrown into a chaos when an acquaintance from the husband’s past brings mysterious gifts and a horrifying secret to light after more than 20 years. Stars Jason Bateman, Rebecca Hall, Joel Edgerton (also the writer, producer, and director).
• “Ricki & The Flash” ( PG-13 Musical Dramedy ): 66-year-old Meryl Streep plays an aging rock queen (think Melissa Etheridge) who gave up everything for her dream of stardom. The story follows her return home looking to reconnect with family. Co-stars Kevin Kline, Mamie Gummer (Streep’s real-life daughter), Rick Springfield. Streep took a guitar lesson from Neil Young.
• “Shaun the Sheep Movie” ( PG Animated Adventure): When ‘Shaun’ decides to take the day off and have some fun, he gets a little more action than he bargained for. He and his pals end up in the ‘Big City’ and it’s up to the flock to figure out how to return home safely. Voice cast features Justin Fletcher, John Sparkes, Omid Djalili, Richard Webber.
• Opening in limited release: “Cop Car” (Thriller); “Dark Places” (Mystery Thriller); “The Diary Of a Teenage Girl” (Drama); “Dragon Ball Z: Resurrection ‘F'” (Animation); and “Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet” (Animation).

The week of August 10th, next week, is the most opportune time to buy flights for the upcoming holiday season, according to global travel search engine Skyscanner. The flight site claims that booking Christmastime flights (anytime December 20th-28th) 19 weeks out will save you an impressive 19% compared to booking at other times of the year. Booking New Year’s flights (December 27th-January 4th) next week should shave 14% off your costs. Skyscanner’s research suggests the weeks of August 31st and September 28th are the next-best bets for booking Christmas and New Year’s travel. Skyscanner advice is based on analysis of 2014 airfare pricing peaks and valleys. (With the price of oil way down, shouldn’t airfares also be?)

A new study by Dutch scientists at Maastricht University (both men, just to be clear) has found that most offices set their thermostats based on the resting metabolic rate of a 40-year-old man, as per standard air conditioning guidelines which date back to the 1960s. But, because women tend to be smaller and have more body fat than men, they have slower metabolic rates. That means current air conditioning standards are too cold for most women. After studying women doing seated work while wearing light clothing, the researchers have found that their average metabolic rate is 20-to-32% lower than the rates used to set standards. The study concludes that offices should ‘reduce gender-discriminating bias in thermal comfort’. (BS translation: Turn the frickin’ temp up!)

British people are 16 times more likely to know the rules of ‘Quidditch’ than of croquet.
– “Daily Mirror”


1960 [55] David Duchovny, NYC, TV actor (“Californication” 2007-14, “The X Files” 1993-2002)/movie actor (“X-Files: I Want to Believe”, “Zoolander”)

1966 [49] Jimmy Wales, Huntsville AL, Internet entrepreneur (co-founder and promoter of the non-profit online encyclopedia Wikipedia)

1975 [40] Charlize Theron, Benoni, South Africa, movie actress (“Dark Places” opening today, 2003 Academy Award-“Monster”)  COMING UP: “The Huntsman” (2016).

1976 [39] Barry Kerch, Jacksonville FL, rock drummer (Shinedown-“Second Chance”, “The Crow & The Butterfly”)

1987 [28] Sidney Crosby, Cole Harbour NS, NHL superstar center (youngest captain in NHL history to win the Stanley Cup, with Pittsburgh Penguins 2009-10)

Movie actor Dustin Hoffman (“Rain Man”) is 78; Rock guitarist The Edge (U2) is 54; Rock singer Scott Stapp (Creed) is 42; Country singer Mark Wills (“19 Somethin'”) is 42; Rock guitarist Tom Linton (Jimmy Eat World) is 40; Pro tennis player Roger Federer is 34.

TV co-host Hoda Kotb (“Today”) is 51; Movie actor Eric Bana (“Star Trek”) is 47; Rock drummer Sam Fogarino (Interpol) is 47; Alt-rock bassist Arion Salazar (Third Eye Blind) is 45; “Good Morning America” co-anchor Chris Cuomo is 45; TV actress Jessica Capshaw (“Grey’s Anatomy”) is 39; Movie actress Audrey Tautou (“Da Vinci Code”) is 39; Movie actress Anna Kendrick (“Pitch Perfect”) is 30.

• “International Beer Day”, an annual worldwide celebration of brewskies on the 1st Friday of August. So, the best beer in the world is …?
• “Kool-Aid Days”, the annual weekend celebration of the soft drink mix originally made in Hastings, Nebraska. Edwin E Perkins first marketed the stuff in 1927 in 6 flavors (raspberry, cherry, grape, lemon, orange, and root-beer).
• “Lighthouse Day”, an annual observance when lighthouse grounds, where feasible, are open to the public. No more lonely lighthouse keepers these days … they’re all automated.
• “National Hobo Convention”, the 113th annual through Sunday in Britt, Iowa. Some 30,000 are expected to take in a parade, ‘King & Queen Of the Hobos’ coronation, and the ‘Hobo Jungle’.
• “Particularly Preposterous Packaging Day”, an annual observance to draw attention to the environmentally unfriendly over-packaging of consumer goods. Which are worst for this?
• “Professional Speakers Day”, an annual salute to those who move us and inform us through the magic of their oratory talents. To speak and to speak well are two different things.
• “Twins Days Festival”, the world’s largest annual gathering of twins through Sunday in Twinsburg, Ohio. They’ll be seeing double in this town all weekend!

• “Bowling Day”, an annual salute to the game that’s right up your alley. You’re invited to play in the am and party in the pm in order to celebrate bowling all day. (Nice shoes.)
• “Elvis Week 2015” begins with his Memphis TN mansion Graceland offering a raft of events to perpetuate the legend. Activities include a tribute artist contest and memorial service. 2015 is Elvis’ 80th birth anniversary.
• “Garage Sale Day”, saluting a North American institution on what’s likely to be a popular day for garage/yard sales.
• “Happiness Happens Day”, the 15th annual day to pay someone’s toll, bus or subway fare, or to donate to a charity. It’s all a conspiracy of the ‘Secret Society of Happy People’.
• “International Cat Day”, the 13th annual observance celebrating what “Scientific American” ranks as the most popular pet in the world.
• “International Hangover Day”, the day after “International Beer Day”. What’s your best cure?
• “Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction”, the 52nd annual in Canton, Ohio. The 2015 NFL Hall of Fame Game follows on Sunday.
• “Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night”, a day to share the wealth of your vegetable garden with friends and neighbors. (Uh, could you make it tomatoes instead?)

• “Book Lovers Day”. No matter where you are, you’re never alone … as long as you have a book. Is reading as good when using a Kindle or iPad?
• “International Day of Indigenous People”, as declared by the UN. But is there really such a thing? Weren’t all people originally wanderers?

2005 [10] Peter Jennings, anchor & senior editor of ABC News, dies of cancer at his NYC home at age 67

1997 [18] Garth Brooks plays to a crowd in NYC’s Central Park estimated at 750,000, ranked the 3rd-largest concert audience of all-time (over 15 million watch on HBO)

2007 [08] Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants breaks baseball great Hank Aaron’s MLB career record by hitting his 756th home run (finishes career with a total of 762, a stat that will always carry an asterisk due to his alleged use of steroids)

[Mon] Skyscraper Appreciation Day
[Mon] S’mores Day
[Tues] Play In the Sand Day
[Wed] Vinyl Record Day
[Thurs] International Lefthanders Day
This Week Is … Smile Week
This Month Is … What Will Be Your Legacy Month


✓ Your parents warned you like a bazillion times to tone down the incessant chatter.
✓ You talked your babysitter’s ear off because you felt a need to fill every silence with conversation.
✓ You hated being told to stop talking because staying mute was never your style.
✓ Literally every parent-teacher conference was to address this ‘problem’.
✓ If you were ever quiet for more than 2 seconds everyone assumed you were not feeling well.
✓ Class presentations were your jam and you always went first.
✓ You always managed to get the highest grade in class participation.
✓ At school dances you were first on the dance floor and the life of the party.
✓ At sleepovers you were that one energetic kid rambling on when everyone else was ready to sleep.
✓ Being ‘grounded’ was the absolute cruelest punishment ever because you suffered from extreme FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).
– Adapted from

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

☎ What’s the absolute best hangover food? (Bacon with maple syrup, right?)

Question: 10 years ago people did THIS all the time; nowadays hardly anyone ever does.
Answer: Have film developed.

Consciousness is that annoying time between naps.

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