Monday, August 8, 2011        Edition: #4566

It’s Your Daily Constitutional Sheet!

• Precisely 915 red-lipsticked, redheaded women – and men – gathered in Jamestown, New York, hometown of “I Love Lucy” star Lucille Ball to mark her 100th birthday on Saturday. Not too surprisingly that set a world record for ‘most Lucy lookalikes’, the first Guinness World Record in her honor. It was all part of the annual “Lucy Fest” which drew fans from as far away as Australia to the normally sleepy town of 30,000. “I Love Lucy” ran for 179 episodes from 1951-to-1957 and has been seen in reruns for decades. (Almost 1,000 people dressing up like you 22 years after you died … now THAT’S celebrity!)
– “Jam! Showbiz”
• Elton John & partner David Furnish are ensuring their new son Zachary (8 months) has plenty of play-dates on hand – they’re vacationing with Neil Patrick Harris, his partner David Burtka and their twins Gideon & Harper (10 months) in St Tropez, France. In a Twitter post Harris writes, “The family and I are having one of the best weeks of our lives.” (These kids’ vacation memories are going to be much different than ours.)
– “The Daily Dish”
• A source says 34-year-old actor Ryan Reynolds (“The Change-Up”) recently ended his brief romance with 35-year-old actress Charlize Theron (“Snow White & The Huntsman”) after just 2 months because ‘he only wants something casual but she’s in a rush to settle down and start a family since she’s getting older’. The source adds that Charlize ‘didn’t take it very well when he broke it off’. (You should have known … after Scarlett, you were just the rebound.)
– “Us Weekly”
• Word has it teen idols Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez have split, she objecting to him hanging out with ‘bad-boys’ like Chris Brown, Sean Kingston, and Lil Wayne. An insider claims things came to a head when he tried to bring Kingston to one of her shows, which she objected to. Neither Bieber nor Gomez has confirmed the split, but the breakup rumors are bound to continue until one or both of them makes a statement to the contrary. (All of this is likely orchestrated PR.)
– “The Sun”
• And talent-starved reality TV star Kim Kardashian is the premiere subject of a 3-D photo-spread in “World’s Most Beautiful”, the first-ever magazine shot entirely in 3-D. It’s out today in a $4.99 limited-edition print version, as well as a free version for iPads, iPhones, and Android phones. Readers need those nerdy 3-D glasses to make the images come to life.  (Warning: Do not turn the photos around backwards … you could poke out an eye!)

• “Bachelor Pad” (ABC) – 2nd season premiere of the trashy reality TV show that features dating show castoffs duking it out for love, money, and sex.
• “Conan” (TBS/CTV) – Imelda May (“Mayhem”).
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Josh Groban (“Illuminations”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CHCH) – Album chart-topper Eric Church (“Chief”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – My Chemical Romance (“Danger Days: The True Lives Of the Fabulous Killjoys”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS/NTV/Omni) – Drive-By Truckers (“Go-Go Boots”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Joe Jonas (“Fastlife”, out October 11th).
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Panic! At the Disco (“Vices & Virtues”).

• Adele – She’s revealed there’ll be a strong country and bluegrass influence on her 3rd album and says she wants to record it in the US South (Nashville? Atlanta?). Her second album, “21”, has dominated the charts this year.
• Brad Paisley / Carrie Underwood – Their duet “Remind Me” has now surpassed the half-million mark in digital copies sold.
• Evanescence – Tonight on MTV at exactly 7:54 pm ET/PT they perform the song “What You Want” for the first time. Immediately afterward they sit down for an exclusive interview and Q&A session that will stream live on Their new self-titled album is due on October 11th.
• Jay-Z / Kanye West – After numerous change-ups in plans, their “Watch the Throne” studio album collaboration finally gets a digital release today, exclusive to iTunes for 4 days. Its physical release is scheduled for August 12th exclusively at Best Buy through August 23rd, when it will be available at other retailers. Originally intended as a 5-track EP, it evolved into a full-blown album after recording began in 2010.
• Lil Wayne – Georgia-based Done Deal Enterprises is suing him and Young Money Entertainment for $15 million, claiming that they stole the song “BedRock”. Lil Wayne is due in court for the matter on October 12th, according to
• Mumford & Sons – Frontman Marcus Mumford & actress Carey Mulligan (“Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”) have become engaged after dating 5 months. They were pen-pals as children in London and fell in love after getting back in touch for the first time in years, according to “Us Weekly”.
• Nicki Minaj – ABC-TV has now formally apologized for a ‘nip-slip’ incident that occurred during her live performance Friday on “Good Morning America’s” Summer Concert Series in NYC’s Central Park. Although there was a 5-second delay in place, a technical glitch caused it to fail so the live East Coast feed of the concert included certain ‘fleeting images’. Much ado about nada.
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – To celebrate the release of their new album August 30th, a special hi-def cinematic event dubbed “Red Hot Chili Peppers LIVE: I’m With You” will screen in select movie theaters worldwide.

Teens taking part in a dangerous beach activity known as ‘tunneling’ have resulted in several injuries this summer, including a boy buried in Newport Beach, California. Lifeguards and beach-goers frantically dug for 20 minutes before rescuing the teen, who was taken to hospital and is expected to recover. He had dug for an hour to create the hole. Lifeguards throughout California, Florida and other coastal areas have been warning about the dangers of the ‘tunneling’ fad. (Also beware of that shockingly dangerous ‘castle-building’.)
– “Los Angeles Times”

A BS breakdown of who we are and what we do …
• 75% of us wish we had enough money to have someone clean the house.
• 66% of us eat cereal regularly.
• 48% of women say they like a man’s face to be clean shaven.
• 40% of office workers say ‘sloppy grooming’ is the most annoying co-worker behavior.
• 33% of drivers have had a near-miss accident because of someone traveling slowly.
• 22% of all restaurant meals include french fries.

“Lollapalooza” promoters have announced the mega-concert event will return to Santiago, Chile on March 31st next year and will also touch down in Sao Paulo, Brazil on April 7th. “Lollapalooza” was conceived and created in 1991 by Perry Farrell as a farewell tour for his now defunct band, Jane’s Addiction. The ticket price for the original “Lollapalooza” tour – $21.25. This past weekend’s event in Chicago: $185 for a 3-day pass … with the ‘early-bird’ discount.
– TTP /

You don’t have to be crazy to imagine hearing voices. A new study suggests most of us do it while reading, ‘speaking’ the voices inside our heads as we imagine the character to sound. Using MRIs, researchers have determined the parts of our brains that activate while reading different parts of books. When readers reach a bit of dialogue, they tend to create ‘spontaneous imagery’ of the speaker’s voice. Earlier studies have also acknowledged that ‘internal speech’ is normal. In fact, it’s those who don’t imagine voices in their heads who may have issues. (It’s OK to hear them … but a bit weird when you answer them.)
– “Atlantic Wire”

Some towns in Texas have now experienced triple-digit Fahrenheit temperatures for more than 40 consecutive days. It is indeed unbearably hot, and dry as well. The drought is so bad, in fact, that it’s driving Texans to … drink their own pee. Inspired by NASA’s innovations in urine-drinking, the town of Big Spring, Texas is installing a wastewater recycling plant to transform liquid sewage into drinking water. (It’s unconfirmed that it tastes like Bud Lite.)

The ‘World’s Oldest Living Animal’ is a 178-year-old tortoise who lives on the South Atlantic island of St Helena. ‘Jonathan’ the tortoise was only about 70 at the time a black & white photo was taken of him nibbling grass in front of a prisoner and guard … during the 2nd Boer War (1899-1902). Despite his old age, locals say he still has the energy to regularly mate with 3 young females that cohabit his plantation home. (What a role model!)
– “Daily Telegraph”

Pre-paid phones are used by 28% of mobile subscribers.


1937 [74] Dustin Hoffman, LA CA, 5’-5” movie actor (2 Oscars-“Rain Man”, “Kramer vs Kramer”)

1961 [50] The Edge (David Evans), Barking UK, rock guitarist (U2-“Vertigo”, “Beautiful Day”)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2005)

1973 [38] Mark Wills (Williams), Cleveland TN, country singer (“19 Somethin’”, “Wish You Were Here”)

1973 [38] Scott Stapp, Goldsboro NC, rock singer (Creed-“My Sacrifice”, “With Arms Wide Open”)

1975 [36] Tom Linton, Mesa AZ, rock guitarist (Jimmy Eat World-“Pain”, “The Middle”)

1981 [30] Roger Federer, Basel, Switzerland, currently #3-ranked men’s professional tennis player

• “The Date to Create”, a day to brainstorm with family members or co-workers on ways to be more creative. (Oh please … it’s Monday!)

• “Happiness Happens Day”, the 12th annual day to pay someone’s toll, bus or subway fare, or to donate to a charity. It’s all a conspiracy of the ‘Secret Society of Happy People’.

• “Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Night”, a day to share the wealth of your vegetable garden with friends and neighbors. (Uh, could you make it tomatoes instead?)

1986 [25] Series finalé of the NBC-TV series “Knight Rider”, starring David Hasselhoff and a talking car with better acting skills

2000 [11] 30-year-old actress Catherine Zeta-Jones gives birth to a son via 55-year-old fiancé Michael Douglas, named Dylan Michael Douglas (they wed 3 months later)

2008 [03] Circa 1 billion TV viewers worldwide watch the opening ceremonies of the “Beijing Summer Olympic Games”, highlighted by a massive fireworks display

1988 [23] ‘Gangsta Rap’ goes mainstream with the release of NWA’s “Straight Outta Compton”

2005 [06] 2 jurors from the Michael Jackson molestation case tell NBC-TV’s “Today” that they have come to regret their ruling of ‘not guilty’

1988 [23] 39,012 fans attend the 1st-ever night baseball game at Chicago’s Wrigley Field

1999 [12] ‘Tish’, the world’s oldest captive goldfish, dies in Yorkshire, England at the age of 43

[Tues] International Day Of the World’s Indigenous People
[Tues] Rice Pudding Day
[Tues] Book Lover’s Day
[Wed] Lazy Day
[Wed] “The Help” opens in movie theaters
[Wed] Smithsonian Day
[Wed] S’mores Day

Assistance Dog Week / Exercise With Your Child Week / Farmers Market Week / Feeding Pets Of the Homeless Week / Knights of Columbus Family Week


A highlight bit culled from 18 years of “Bull Sheet” back issues …
A few stats profiling the average driver, according to “Top Gear” magazine …
• The average driver emits more than 912 pints of wind inside a car during his or her lifetime.
• The average driver will have sex in a car 6 times in their life.
• They will spend around 2 hours and 14 minutes kissing in cars.
• The average driver will swear 32,025 times behind the wheel.
• They will nod off at the wheel 11 times and jump 181 red lights.
• The average driver will honk the horn 15,250 times in a lifetime.
• In a lifetime of driving, the average driver will be locked out of the car 9 times.
• Average drivers believe their driving is better than 87% of other drivers.
– First published in “BS” 2003

What’s green, has 6 legs, and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.

Each word in the 2-word answers begins with the initial ‘T’.
• The stuff athletes say to intimidate competitors. (Trash Talk)
• He was a famous circus midget. (Tom Thumb)
• Slang for cheating on your partner. (Two-Timing)
• She sang the 1984 hit “What’s Love Got to Do With It”. (Tina Turner)
• Another name for the game of ping-pong. (Table Tennis)

Which was a common delicacy at feasts staged by Ancient Romans?
a. Butterfly Wings.
b. Flamingo Tongues. [CORRECT]
c. Pigtails.

What’s the greatest duet of all-time? A few selected by the PBS-TV special “The Greatest Duets: It Takes Two” …
• Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell … “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”.
• Stevie Wonder & Paul McCartney … “Ebony & Ivory”.
• Elton John & Kiki Dee … “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart”.
• Joe Cocker & Jennifer Warnes … “Up Where We Belong”.
• John Travolta & Olivia Newton-John … “You’re the One That I Want”.
(And wouldn’t there be a few from this century?)

Today’s Question: Most women have about 200 of THESE.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Facebook friends.

Just because it pays well doesn’t mean it’s a good job.

Printer Friendly Version