Wednesday, August 31, 2022 – Edition: #7301
The BS Press!
BS SUBSCRIBER NOTE:
The Bull Sheet will not be publishing on Monday, September 5 to observe the Labour Day holiday. All subscribers will receive credit for the non-service day. The Bull Sheet will resume publication on Tuesday September 6th.
BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
★ Sylvester Stallone has responded to estranged wife Jennifer Flavin’s divorce filing, denying any wrongdoing regarding their marital assets. The “Rocky” star denied her allegations that he “engaged in the intentional dissipation, depletion and/or waste of marital assets which has had an adverse economic impact on the marital estate,” in documents filed Monday. Stallone approved of Flavin’s request to have “exclusive use” of their Palm Beach, Florida estate. He also did not fight Flavin’s petition to restore her maiden name, and agreed that their marriage is “irretrievably broken.” Flavin filed for divorce from Stallone on Aug. 19 after 25 years of marriage.
★ Former “America’s Got Talent” quarterfinalist Hans, also known as Matt Gilbertson, is recovering after he suffered numerous injuries after falling from a stage on a cruise in Europe. The Australian cabaret star, who performs under the alter ego of camp German accordion player Hans, was airlifted from Turkey to London for treatment last Thursday. Hans opened up about the terrifying incident in post shared to his Instagram and Facebook accounts. Alongside a video showing emergency crews at the scene, he wrote that while he didn’t “want to alarm anyone, I do want to let everyone know what’s happened”. According to Hans, on the evening of Aug. 25, while he was performing on a ship’s stage, he was “involved in an incident on stage…that saw me falling 4 meters into an orchestra pit.” LINK: https://www.instagram.com/p/Chuf1IEJP8e/
★ Netflix has denied a report that it plans to price its upcoming ad-supported tier between $7-9 per month. The streaming giant said that the report from Bloomberg News was “speculation” and that execs are still mulling a price for the tier, which will be rolled out to select markets before the end of the year. A Netflix rep said: “This is all just speculation at this point.” Bloomberg reported Friday that the streamer, known for hits like “Stranger Things,” “You” and “Bridgerton,” is looking to price its commercial-supported offering between $7 and $9 to compete with rival Disney, which said earlier this year that its ad-supported tier for Disney+, named “Disney+ Basic”, will cost $7.99 a month when it launches on Dec. 8.
★ Johnny Depp’s brief cameo at the VMAs was embraced by some, but it’s stirring up outrage as well — specifically from Amber Heard’s sister. Whitney Henriquez posted a screenshot of MTV’s award show logo, but she placed an ominous letter at the front … a big capital D. So now, on her page, it reads DVMA — which alludes to domestic violence. She also wrote: “@MTV YOU’RE DISGUSTING AND CLEARLY DESPERATE! I REALLY HOPE THAT NONE OF THE PEOPLE THAT MADE THIS CALL HAVE DAUGHTERS… #DVMAS #ISTANDWITHAMBERHEARD.” At the beginning of Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards, Depp’s face was digitally shown inside the Moonman costume that was floating above the stage, and he delivered a short, corny monologue.
TODAY’S SHOW BIZ SKED:
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/Global): Dave Franco, Trevante Rhodes, Tedeschi Trucks Band, guest host Lamorne Morris (R)
• “The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/CTV): Jane Fonda, Joe Keery, Alex G (R)
• “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” (CBS/Global): Mindy Kaling, Sen. Chris Murphy, Joe Walsh (R)
• “Late Night with Seth Meyers” (NBC/CTV): Steve Carell, Machine Gun Kelly, Ingrid Andress, Jonathan Ulman (R)
• “The Late Late Show with James Corden” (CBS/CTV): Christina Milioti, Franz Ferdinand
• “The View” (ABC/CTV): Billy Porter, B.J. Novak, guest co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin (R)
• “The Talk” (CBS): Anna Chlumsky (R)
• “Live with Kelly and Ryan” (ABC/CTV): James Patterson, Scripps National Spelling Bee Champion Harini Logan, Constance Wu, Michael Cimino
• “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” (NBC/CTV): Justin Timberlake, Keith Urban (R)
• “The Kelly Clarkson Show” (Check local listings): Kate Hudson, Oliver Hudson, Alisha Wainwright, Dave Roberts (R)
• “The Drew Barrymore Show” (Check local listings): Antoni Porowski, Bobby Berk, Jonathan Van Ness, Tan France, Melissa Barrera (R)
• “Big Brother” (CBS): The houseguests compete to win the power of veto; the winner can keep nominations the same or save someone from eviction for the week.
• “America’s Got Talent (NBC): Two acts from last night’s show move on to the final round.
• “DC’s Stargirl” (CW): Season 3 premiere. When the Gambler arrives in town looking to make amends, the team find themselves at odds over whether he can be trusted.
BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Taylor Swift – revealed from the stage at the MTV Video Music Awards that her new album “Midnights” will drop Oct. 21. Later, on social media, she unveiled the cover art, featuring a photo of Swift looking at a lighter she’s holding, and next to that is a temporary tracklist, noting 13 songs labeled “Track One,” “Track Two,” etc. (although it’s possible those are the actual song titles…) LINK: https://tinyurl.com/k5yct2rc
• Megan The Stallion – is apparently joining the Marvel Cinematic Universe. In an interview with The Cut, she announced that she has a role in Marvel’s “She-Hulk: Attorney At Law”. She also said that her aspirations in Hollywood go beyond that of acting: “I feel like I’m also going to be a director and I’m also going to be a producer.”
• The Pretty Reckless – will release “Other Worlds” on November 4, a collection of acoustic recordings, “unexpected” covers and alternative versions of various songs. It features special guests Matt Cameron of Pearl Jam and David Bowie’s pianist Mike Garson.
• Yes – To mark the 50th anniversary of the classic “Close to the Edge” album, they’ve announced their first US tour since 2019. “The Album Series Tour 2022”, which Yes kicked off in June in the UK, begins in Glenside PA on Oct. 7, and will run through Nov. 19. LINK: https://tinyurl.com/3s56vy3p
• Trans Siberian Orchestra – has announced the dates for its winter tour, “The Ghosts of Christmas Eve – The Best of TSO And More”. The group’s 2 touring units will hit 60 US cities, beginning Nov. 16 in Green Bay and Council Bluffs and perform 101 shows through Dec. 30.
• Kelsea Ballerini – It’s over for her and Morgan Evans. The 28-year-old has filed for divorce from the ‘Kiss Somebody’ singer after nearly 5 years of marriage. On her Instagram Story, she wrote: “This deeply difficult decision is the result of a journey of love, growth, and effort that ultimately has come to an end.”
• Zac Brown Band – Their new album “The Comeback (Deluxe)” drops on Sept. 30, and will feature a number of collaborations. Brown had already said that Blake Shelton, Cody Johnson and Jamey Johnson all make appearances, and now it has been revealed that James Taylor will join Brown on a song called ‘Love & Sunsets’.
• Willie Nelson, Jimmie Allen, Billy Ray Cyrus, Jimmie Allen, Jimmy Fallon, Zach Williams and Miley Cyrus – will all guest star in NBC’s “Dolly Parton’s Mountain Magic Christmas.” Parton will play the lead role in the modern-day movie musical about the making of a network TV special.
SHOOTING THE BULL
QUIET QUITTING – THE PREQUEL:
The term “quiet quitting” has been on the tip of everyone’s tongue (and on their TikTok feed!) lately…and just like that, now we have “quiet firing”. Quiet quitting is about rejecting ‘hustle culture’ and doing your job exactly as described and expected. What’s quiet firing? Well, it seems quiet quitting may have actually developed as a result of quiet firing. As described on social media, quiet firing is when employers want you gone, so they treat you poorly (by micromanaging you, not including you, or using other passive-aggressive tactics) to the point that you want to quit, instead of them just firing you. Although “quiet firing” is currently trending, other terms for it include “constructive dismissal” and “managing out.”
(Ah! So THAT’S what my boss was doing when he didn’t give me a raise for 5 years! I guess I should have taken the hint…)
(On the other hand, I’ve been fired before in a way that was definitely NOT quiet!)
GOT SYNTHETIC MILK?
We’ve got synthetic meat, so why not synthetic milk? Apparently, it’s a thing, and it’s coming. Synthetic milk does not require cows or other animals. It can have the same biochemical make up as animal milk, but is grown from cells using an emerging biotechnology technique know as “precision fermentation.” Synthetic milks offer dairy milk without concerns like methane emissions or animal welfare. And here’s another great thing: Unlike synthetic meat – which can struggle to match the complexity and texture of animal meat – synthetic milk is said to have the same taste, look, and feel as normal dairy milk. Although it still has a few obstacles to overcome to become a sustainable and viable alternative to animal-based milk, synthetic milk is not a sci-fi fantasy; it already exists. In the US, the Perfect Day company supplies animal-free protein, which is then used to make ice cream, protein powder, and milk. And an Australian company projects that within 7 years, its synthetic milk will be cheaper than cow milk.
(And in Canada, they’re just worried whether they’ll be able to buy synthetic milk in a bag!)
(Holding out for synthetic chocolate milk here!)
⇒ 80% of adults say crumbs in the bed lead to the crumbiest night’s sleep. A survey of 2,000 Americans asking about the things that disrupt their sleep found that eating in bed is a major culprit. Nearly half (48%) said they regularly eat before bed, with 35% of respondents admitting to actually eating in bed. On the other hand, people feel so strongly against eating and risking crumbs in the bed that a third said it’s a dealbreaker if their partner were to do so. Other top sleep disruptors were, in order: being too hot, not being able to find a comfortable sleeping position, and being awakened by a pet or child. (Or by your wife when a TikTok is too loud…)
⇒ More than a third of pet parents have more photos of their furry friends on their phones than of their kids or partner (35%). A survey of 2,000 dog and cat owners found that just 27% have the most photos of their kids, and only 16% said they had the most photos of their partner. On average, respondents take over 400 pictures of their pets every year. (Of course. My kids are never home!)
THINGS PEOPLE LEARNED WAAAY TOO LATE IN LIFE:
Buzzfeed shared a post in which people admitted the things they learned embarrassingly late, and here are some cringeworthy and hilarious responses…
☞ “I thought lions and tigers were the same animal all throughout my teenage years – that lions were the boys and tigers were the girls.”
☞ “I didn’t know you make pasta with flour and water — I thought you grew noodles…like, on trees.” (Well, please explain rice, then!)
☞ “I was in my 20s when I learned that water polo isn’t played on swimming horses. I was embarrassed…and also disappointed.”
☞ “I just learned that ‘local anesthetic’ does not mean it was made in a lab nearby. I thought you wanted it local, like local honey!”
☞ “For the longest time, I didn’t understand why you would go to a mechanic to get your wheels rotated when they rotate all the time while you’re driving.”
☞ “I thought billboards that said ‘available’ and had a phone number listed were ads for single people.”
☞ “I didn’t know until high school that the ‘not tested on animals’ labels on products were about animal cruelty and not whether the makeup or lotion would actually work on a dog.”
☞ “I was in my early 20s when I learned that reindeer are real; they just don’t fly.”
☞ “I was in my 20s when I realized that the mile-high club didn’t mean getting stoned on an airplane.”
(As a kid, I thought that if you swam beyond the roped off area and started to drown, the lifeguard would make no effort to save you!)
(OK, listeners, beat those!)
DID YOU KNOW?
The sands on Mars may actually be greener than scientists thought. New observations from the Mars rover Perseverance have found that the “Red Planet” is also home to the same kinds of rocks that turn beaches on Earth a dark shade of green. For as long we’ve been staring up into space at Mars, its color has never been in question — it’s a big red rock. Now that Perseverance has landed in the Jezero Crater, however, researchers have discovered volcanic rock, composed of large grains of olivine, a version of which tints many of Hawaii’s beaches dark green. (Well, it’s not like we can call Earth the “Green planet” anymore…!)
BS CHRONOMETER 08.31.22
TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Eat Outside Day”, a great excuse to eat outside one more time before Summer comes to an end and we all get busy with Fall activities. (Did anyone book the ants?)
• “Love Litigating Lawyers Day”, Well, they DO love litigating… (You know the problem with making lawyer jokes? Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and no one else thinks they’re jokes.)
• “Trail Mix Day”, celebrating the combination of nuts, seeds, dried fruits (bark, twigs, compost, etc.) . . . that takes about a gallon of water to wash down.
• “Matchmaker Day”, honoring those romantics (aka busybodies) whose dauntless pursuit of perfect matches for cupid’s arrow results in long-lasting love stories. Playing matchmaker requires a bit of social savvy, the ability to listen, and timing.
• “We Love Memoirs Day”, How is a memoir different from an autobiography? An autobiography may cover a person’s whole life, but a memoir has a narrower focus, covering a significant period in a person’s life. Some historically important memoirs include Henry David Thoreau’s “Walden”, and Anne Frank’s “The Diary of a Young Girl”.
• “Lend-A-Hand Wednesday”, Time, help, and advice are offered on this day, a part of Be Kind to Humankind Week, an “annual worldwide celebration of kindness” created in 1988. LINK: https://bk2hk.org/week/
AND REMEMBER . . .
[Thurs] American Chess Day
[Thurs] Letter Writing Day
[Fri] Chianti Day
[Sat] World Beard Day
This Month is…Happiness Happened Month
This Month is…Romance Awareness Month
TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1945  (Ivan) ‘Van’ Morrison, Belfast, Northern Ireland, rock-pop-blues singer (‘Moondance’, ‘Brown Eyed Girl’, w/Them-‘Gloria’)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, 1993
1948  Rudolf Schenker, Hildesheim Germany, rock guitarist (Scorpions-‘Rock You Like a Hurricane’)
1949  Richard Gere, Philadelphia PA, movie actor (“An Officer and a Gentleman”, “Pretty Woman”)
1957  Gina Schock, Baltimore MD, pop-rock drummer (The Go-Go’s – ‘Our Lips Are Sealed’, ‘Vacation)
1970  Deborah Gibson, Brooklyn NY, pop singer (‘Only in My Dreams’, ‘Lost in your Eyes’)
1972  Chris Tucker, Atlanta GA, movie actor (“Rush Hour” movies)/stand-up comedian
1975  Sara Ramirez, Mazatlan Mexico, TV actress (‘Dr Callie Torres’ on “Grey’s Anatomy” 2006-16), “And Just Like That…” since 2021/Broadway actress (Tony Award -“Spamalot”)
ON THIS DAY…
1997  Diana, Princess of Wales, is killed at age 36 in a car crash in a tunnel in Paris. Also killed are her companion, Dodi Fayed, and their driver, Henri Paul. Bodyguard Trevor Rees-Jones, the only one wearing a seat-belt, survives
THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
2004  Action star-turned-California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger addresses the Republican National Convention, telling pessimists about the economy not to be “girly men”
2018  “A Star is Born” film remake, directed by and starring Bradley Cooper, and starring Lady Gaga, premieres at the Venice Film Festival (8 Oscar noms)
TODAY’S MUSIC EVENTS . . .
2002  NASA announces ’NSYNC’s 23-year-old Lance Bass as the first celebrity astronaut, aboard a future Russian Soyuz mission (It doesn’t happen because he fails to pay the $20-million tab)
TODAY’S FIRST . . .
2006  Stolen on August 22, 2004, Edvard Munch’s famous painting “The Scream” is recovered in a raid by Norwegian police. It is said to be in a better-than-expected condition
TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1995  6 people die attempting to rescue a chicken that has fallen down a well in southern Egypt (only the chicken survives)
BS WHACK FACTS:
✓ In a room with 23 people, there is a 50% chance of 2 having the same birthday. If there are 70 people, it increases to 99.9%.
✓ Wasps get aggressive towards the end of summer because they get drunk on fermenting fruit hanging from trees.
✓ Red Solo cups are a common souvenir to bring back from the United States. The novelty comes from the cups being used in many party scenes in movies.
✓ Saint Lucia is the only country in the world named after a woman.
✓ On average, people flex their finger joints 25 million times in their life.
✓ It takes a week to 10 days to make a jellybean.
Best of BS . . .
August is “National Inventors Month”… today’s our last chance to review the…
BS ALL-TIME MOST USELESS INVENTIONS:
• The Waterproof Tea Bag
• World’s Largest Microchip
• The Glow-in-the-Dark Sundial
• Imitation Cubic Zirconia
• The Compact Limousine
• The Impact-Triggered Parachute
• All-Terrain Roller Blades
• Armpit-Scented Deodorant
-First published in BS in 2015
BS THINGS NEVER TO SAY TO NEWLYWEDS:
• “Sorry I missed your wedding, I’ll catch the next one.”
• “Wow, you both look so similar! Are you sure you’re not related?”
• “You may now kiss the bride. Everyone else has.”
• “When’s the baby due?”
• “I guarantee you that eventually just his breathing will send you over the edge.”
• “Did they ever solve your last wife’s disappearance?”
• “Enjoy the honeymoon. After that, say goodbye to your sex life.”
• “Why was she wearing white?”
• “Call me when it’s over.”
-Twitter, first published in BS in 2018
TRUTH OR BS:
• Lightning is heard before it’s seen. [BS. Light travels faster than sound.]
• For 5 years, Webster’s Dictionary mistakenly included an entry for the non-existent word “dord”. [TRUE]
• Google was initially called “The Google”. [BS. It was originally called “BackRub”.]
• Broccoli contains more vitamin C than oranges. [TRUE. Broccoli contains 89 mg of vitamin C per 100 grams, oranges contain 53.
• Texas is the largest US state. [BS. Alaska spans 665,384 square miles. Texas is second largest, at 268,596 square miles.]
• Cardi B’s real name is Cardigan Backyardigan. [BS. That was a meme. Her real name is Belcalis Marlenis Almánzar.]
• Humans cannot sneeze with their eyes open. [TRUE]
-UrbanMyth, AhaSlides, Cosmopolitan
BS WEB GOODIE:
Surprise! (sound up): https://tinyurl.com/474wemwb
BS RANDOM JOKE:
If I wasn’t a golfer, I would still be miserable – but not as miserable.
BS PHONE STARTER:
What is really popular now, but in 5 years everyone will look back on and be totally embarrassed by? (We’re going with lip fillers!)
BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Question: 35% of people have THIS in their wallet. What is it?
Answer: A business card (from someone else)
BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Success comes before work … only in the dictionary.