Wednesday, December 14, 2005        Edition: #3180
Jingle Bull … Jingle Bull …

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TONIGHT TNT’s annual “Christmas in Washington” holiday TV special, hosted by Dr Phil & ‘Mrs Phil’, features performances by Rascal Flatts, Carrie Underwood & Ciara . . . “Brokeback Mountain” has earned a leading 7 “Golden Globe” nominations, including ‘Best Drama’, ‘Actor’ (Heath Ledger) and ‘Director’ (Ang Lee), thereby positioning itself to be a key “Academy Awards” competitor  . . . In small-screen awards, “Desperate Housewives” leads with a total of 5 “Golden Globe” nominations, including ‘Best TV Series’ . . . Movie actor Colin Farrell (currently shooting “Miami Vice”) has checked himself into an unnamed treatment center due to ‘exhaustion and dependency on prescription medication’ . . . He’ll miss THURSDAY’s Hollywood premiere of his latest film, “The New World”, about the romance between Captain John Smith & Pocahontas . . . SUNDAY’s “Survivor: Guatemala” wrap-up was the highest-rated finalé since “Survivor: All-Stars” in 2004 . . . Actress Sienna Miller’s dad has reportedly warned actor Jude Law that he will kill him if he cheats on his daughter again (apparently dysfunction is hereditary) . . . The latest rumor on the Jessica Simpson-Nick Lachey split links her with Maroon 5 frontman, Adam Levine, who has also been involved with a couple of other famous blondes – movie actress Kirsten Dunst & tennis star Maria Sharapova (answering the question of why it’s worth being a pop star) . . . For the upcoming movie, “Superman Returns” (opening next JUNE), star Brandon Routh was fitted with a skintight costume and special codpiece, but producers fear his bulge is too big, and they may be forced to erase his package with digital effects (ow … will that hurt?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alicia Keys – TODAY she’s a guest on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”.
• Audioslave – Drummer Brad Wilk has finally wed his 10-year girlfriend, Selene Vigil, singer for Seven Year Bitch.
• Celine Dion – TODAY she does the “Oprah Winfrey Show”.
• Gloria Estefan – TODAY she guests on ABC-TV’s “The View”.
• Joss Stone – She’s been named ‘Best Celebrity Dog Owner’ in an online poll by a couple of dog magazines. She owns a poodle named ‘Dusty Springfield’.
• Michael McDonald – TONIGHT he appears on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Prince – After years of releasing albums on his own label, he’s signed with Universal to distribute his 24th album, “3121″, due early NEXT YEAR.
• Shakira – TODAY she’s on MuchMoreMusic’s “MMMLive” at 6pm ET.
• Toby Keith – His first album for his own record label, Show Dog Nashville, will be titled “White Trash With Money”. It’s due for release in the Spring.

TODAY’S MOVIE OPENING:
“King Kong” ( PG-13 Action Thriller ): Director Peter Jackson lives out a boyhood fantasy by re-making one of the most famous films of all-time. Set in the 1930s, this is the story of a group of explorers and documentary film-makers who travel to mysterious ‘Skull Island’ to investigate legends about a giant gorilla named ‘Kong’. Once there, they discover that it’s a real creature, living in a massive jungle where creatures from prehistoric times have been hidden for millions of years. Ultimately, it is the attention of beautiful actress ‘Ann Darrow’ that soothes the beast long enough for him to be subdued and shipped back to NYC. But how long can even the mightiest shackles hold back an ape 25-feet-tall? Stars Naomi Watts, Jack Black and Adrien Brody. Film trivia …
• It’s being released in over 28 countries worldwide simultaneously.
• Director Peter Jackson says he’s lived with this film in his head since he was 9-years-old. He spoke with Fay Wray (from the original 1933 movie) and was hoping she’d appear in the new version, but she died before production began.
• Jackson was paid $20 million to direct this film, the highest salary ever paid to a director in advance of production.
• Actress Naomi Watts says she had such faith in director Peter Jackson, she accepted the role of ‘Ann Darrow‘ without even seeing the script.
• Actor Andy Serkis, whose facial and body movements were computer-mapped for the big ape, spent so much time bonding with gorillas at London Zoo that the female apes became jealous when his wife accompanied him.
NET: http://www.kingkongmovie.com/

HE SAID IT:
“There’s a big difference between marrying a 21-year-old and marrying a 34-year-old. Women go through this stage between 20 and 30 when they’re very volatile. I don’t think anyone should get married – either sex – before 30, because everything changes and women change the most.
– 60-year-old wrinkle rocker Rod Stewart on why his upcoming marriage to Penny Lancaster will be the one that lasts the rest of his life.

SAD CASE:
You’ve probably heard of the psychological syndrome called ‘SAD’ or ‘Seasonal Affective Disorder’, a form of depression many are thought to suffer during the doldrums of winter when there’s fewer daylight hours. Well now psychiatrist Richard Morriss of the University of Liverpool questions whether it really exists, and points out that the World Health Organization doesn’t recognize it as a distinct mental disorder. He suggests psychiatrists may have manufactured the diagnosis to explain away normal human misery. (Damn, another excuse to skip work down the drain!)
– “Nature”

WEIRD WORLD OF BS:
• Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva of the Brazilian town of Biritiba-Mirim wants to make it illegal for residents to die. Following the discovery that the town’s only cemetery is full, he’s proposed the law which would make it an offence for citizens not to take care of their health. The relatives of those who die before their time could be jailed or face large fines. The number of gym memberships has shot up since the mayor’s announcement LAST WEEK.
• ‘Tis the season for a sleigh ride, but this one was a tad different. Burglars have stolen a 300-lb safe containing some $24,000 from the Altenmarkt Ski Resort in Austria, then escaped down the mountain – on an old wooden sledge. Cops say they’ll attempt to follow the tracks … if the weather ever clears.

SEASONAL STYLE:
Taller Christmas trees are in demand this holiday season, perhaps because more and more homes are featuring high or vaulted ceilings. And the seasonal color that seems to be hot this year is not red or green but – black. Black & white decor has been a strong trend for interiors for a couple of years now, so it should be no surprise that sales of black artificial Christmas trees have taken off.
– “Ideal Home”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 80% of us say we are ‘thrilled’ to receive a gift certificate.
• 74% of men will still be holiday shopping DECEMBER 24th, compared to just 16% of women.
• 72% of kids under 18 think their parents should do a better job of recycling.
• 70% of us now color our hair.
• 56% of us claim to be ‘morning people’.
• 2% of us shopped online for holiday gifts in 1997. This year, it will be closer to 40%.

AND WE QUOTE:
“Hanging out with Keith is giving her a lot of joy and I’m happy for her.”
– Actor Russell Crowe, openly blabbing about the relationship between his pal Nicole Kidman and country star Keith Urban, something the couple has been attempting to keep under wraps.

KILLING TREES HELPS THE ENVIRONMENT:
As cruel as it might seem, real Christmas trees are actually the smart choice environmentally anywhere where they are commercially grown and harvested. Real trees provide animals with a habitat, and make great mulch after the holidays. So, as far as ecology goes, real timber is preferable to a fake tree made out of plastic.
– “Detroit Free Press”

WHAT WOMEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “How to Have a Happy Holiday: 14 Family Tension Tamers” [“Ladies’ Home Journal”]
• “Have a Hot Holiday: Try These Make-Him-Merry Moves” [“Cosmopolitan”]
• “Seasonal Secrets for a More Satisfying, Less Stressful Holiday” [“Woman’s Day”]
• “30 Seconds to a Closer Marriage” [“Redbook”]
• “The Dos & Don’ts of Pants” [“Glamour”]

WHAT MEN ARE READING THIS MONTH:
• “Women Share Traumatic Tales of Deflowering Dudes” [“Maxim”]
• “How to Buy Your Lady Lingerie She’ll Want to Wear” [“Men’s Health”]
• “Which Johnnie Walker Blended Whisky Is Right for You?” [“Stuff”]
• “Things a Man Should Never Do Past 30″ [“Esquire”]
• “Score With Your Bartender So You Never Drink or Sleep Alone” [“Maxim”]

THE BULL SHEET 12.14.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1949 [56] Cliff Williams, Rumford UK, rock bassist (AC/DC-“You Shook Me All Night Long”, “Moneytalks”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Bouillabaisse Day”, a day to throw some shellfish in a pot with some finely-chopped onion, celery & tomato, a little white wine, a little more white wine, and – BAM!! – a whole mess of garlic. Nummers, instant heaven!

• “Halcyon Days” begin, the 7 days before and the 7 days after the Winter Solstice that are traditionally thought to be a time of ‘calm and tranquillity’. Uh, maybe at your house.

• “International Shareware Day”, something to do with wearing your husband’s boxers?

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1977 [28] “Saturday Night Fever” premieres, starring John Travolta (Bee Gees generate several hits from the soundtrack)

1999 [06] Diagnosed with cancer, “Peanuts” creator Charles Schulz announces he’ll retire

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1984 [21] “Like a Virgin” becomes Madonna’s first #1 hit

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1911 [94] Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen discovers the South Pole (the home of the ‘Anti-Claus’)

1947 [58] National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing (NASCAR) is created

AND REMEMBER . . .
[1 week today] Winter begins
[Thurs] Full Moon (Oak Moon, Birth Moon, Cold Moon)
[Thurs] “The Apprentice 4″ finalé
[Thurs] US Bill of Rights Day
[Fri] Underdog Day
[Fri] Chocolate Covered Anything Day
[Fri] Las Posadas begins (Mexico)
This Week Is … Civil Rights Week
This Month Is … International Calendar Awareness Month (Look! Over there on the wall!)

BULL’S BITS

BS SIGNS YOU BOUGHT A BAD CHRISTMAS TREE:
• Looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into it.
• Each branch has ‘Duraflame’ printed on it.
• Came with a written endorsement from ‘Charlie Brown’.
• It’s very small and says ‘air freshener’ on it.
• With nothing else remarkable, you find yourself constantly bragging about ‘trunk size’.
• It’s 6-ft-wide … 2-ft-tall.

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• In what ways have you raised your children differently from the way you were raised?
• If you had a 50% chance of winning 10 times the amount of your bet, how much of what you now own would you be willing to wager?

BS Q&A:
Q: You’re a mischievous elf getting ready to deliver holiday gifts on a goat. What nationality are you?
A: Danish. In Denmark, the little guy ‘Jule-Nissen’ arrives gift-laden on ‘Jule-Buken’ the Christmas goat.

Q: In what country would you be if you were expecting ‘Grandfather Frost’ to show up with your Christmas stash?
A: Russia, where Santa’s known as ‘D’yed Moroz’.

BS KID INTERVIEW:
Get a kid, any kid, and ask ‘em …
• What do reindeer like to eat?
• Why does Rudolph have a red nose?
• What does Santa wear in the summertime?
• How much does Santa weigh?
• How old is Santa?
• What does Santa want for Christmas?
• What does Santa do with the cookies he doesn’t like?

BS BLATANT JOKE:
They can’t force me to wear the red suit at the office party because my contract has a ‘No Santa’ clause.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Women are twice as likely to eat THIS than men.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Food that’s fallen on the floor.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


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