Tuesday, December 13, 2005        Edition: #3179
More From the Sheethouse!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY feuding former Hollywood couple Kim Basinger & Alec Baldwin return to an LA court as the fierce custody battle over their daughter Ireland continues; among the issues being debated – a new therapist for the long-suffering 10-year-old . . . TONIGHT is the finalé of “The Amazing Race 8: Family Edition” on CBS-TV, followed by a special ‘mini-race’ for the 2nd- and 3rd-place families to win a new GMC Yukon showing exclusively online at CBS.com (another excuse for the Weaver family to pray) . . . “Tarzan, The Broadway Musical”, set to open in NYC next MAY starring Josh Strickland as ‘Tarzan’ & Jenn Gambatese as ‘Jane’, will feature music & lyrics by Phil Collins . . . Movie actress Kate Beckinsale (“The Aviator”, “Van Helsing”) tells “Playboy” magazine that she strips for her director/husband Len Wiseman via Webcam whenever she is away filming, in order to ‘keep the passion alive’ (not surprisingly, she admits it was his idea) . . . 31-year-old model Kate Moss has edged out 21-year-old movie actress Scarlett Johansson to be named ‘Best-Dressed Woman of 2005′ by the UK’s “Grazia” celeb magazine (thanks to her chic snow-pants) . . . Did Jessica Simpson go the collagen route? Some fans are saying her lips are looking awfully pouty lately . . . And photos are circulating online of Mariah Carey and what appears to be her ‘professional drink-holder’, a lackey carefully adjusting the straw of her drink so the recently emancipated ‘Mimi’ doesn’t have to bother (wonder if she also has a ‘coaster caddy’?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Bo Bice – TODAY he’s on the “Ellen DeGeneres Show”, no doubt promoting the release of his new CD “The Real Thing”.
• Chris Brown – TONIGHT he appears on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”. His newly minted self-titled CD is out today.
• Scott Stapp – “The Great Divide” is the former Creed singer’s first solo effort.
• 3 Doors Down – “Landing In London (All I Think About Is You)” features legendary rocker Bob Seger. When he performed the tune on-stage with the band in AUGUST in Detroit, it was his first public performance since his 2004 induction into the “Rock & Roll Hall of Fame”.
• Also in music stores TODAY: Anthony Hamilton’s “Ain’t Nobody Worryin’”; Beck’s “Guerolito”; Daddy Yankee’s “Barrio Fino en Directo”; the “Aeon Flux” soundtrack; and “The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring – The Complete Recordings” box set.

TODAY’S DVD RELEASES:
• “King Kong – Peter Jackson’s Production Diaries” (Documentary): Usually the ‘making of’’ feature is part of a movie’s DVD package after the film is finished in theaters. But Peter Jackson wants us to know how he did it before we even see the movie (opening WEDNESDAY). The package includes 2 DVD’s and a 50-page book showing step-by-step how the movie was made.
• “Bad News Bears” (Sports Comedy): Billy Bob Thornton plays a slovenly, beer-guzzling exterminator who becomes the coach of an inept Little League baseball team after he’s bribed by a straitlaced lawyer (Marcia Gay Harden). A remake of the 1976 film of the same name which starred Walter Matthau & Tatum O’Neal.
• “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” (Romantic Comedy): Steve Carrell plays a sweet, shy, middle-aged geek whom his co-workers (Paul Rudd, Romany Malco & Seth Rogen) decide to rescue from virginity. The DVD release is a good excuse to stage a local ‘Hairiest Chest Waxing Contest’.
• “The Island” (Sci-Fi Thriller):  Ewan McGregor & Scarlett Johansson play clones in search of themselves in Michael Bay’s science fiction thriller-turned-property damage spectacle.
• “Roll Bounce” (Musical Dramedy): Bow Wow plays a skating champ in 1978 Chicago who takes to the rink to dance away the melancholy that’s hung over him since the death of his mom.
• “Valiant” (Animated Family): Carrier pigeons in World War II are the heroes of this British computer-animated adventure presented by Disney. Ewan McGregor plays the runt who rises to the occasion with a motley band of misfits when their commander (John Cleese) is abducted.
• Also in stores TODAY: “The Simpsons: The Complete 7th Season in Collectible Marge Head Pack” (packaging molded in the shape of her head); “Airplane: Don’t Call Me Shirley Edition”; and “Miami Vice: Season 2″.

CANADIAN SHOPPING STATS:
Highlights of a new Interac poll on holiday shopping …
• DECEMBER 23rd tends to be the busiest shopping day in Canada during the holiday season.
• 67% of Ontario residents consider themselves to be budget-conscious shoppers or penny-pinchers.
• 61% of Atlantic Canadians say they enjoy shopping, more than any other region of the country.
• 18% of Canadians describe themselves as ‘shopaholics’.
– “Globe & Mail”

MISTLETOE TURN-OFFS:
A poll of 500 office workers by a UK beauty retailer has uncovered the top reasons they would be reluctant to kiss a fellow employee at Christmas …
5. Over-Spilling Cleavage (5%)
4. Too Much Aftershave (11%
3. Visible Thongs (19%)
2. Alcohol on the Breath (29%)
1. Chapped Lips (36%)
– “Newsquest Media”

CHAMELEON CLOTHING COMING:
Spending hours picking the right scarf to perfectly match your outfit may now be a thing of the past as scientists have developed a ‘Chameleon Shawl’ that automatically changes color to suit its surroundings. It was created by Akira Wakita and colleagues at Keio University in Tokyo using pixels containing red, blue and green light-emitting diodes (LEDs) interwoven into the fabric. Variations in the brightness of each type of LED turns the scarf a different overall shade. A full line of ‘Chamaeleon Clothing’ will likely follow. (Great for bank robbers – “Officer, I believe he was wearing a blue … no pink … or maybe it was a green shirt …”)
– ANI Science & Health

SHE SAID IT:
“She is beautiful. Her mouth is amazing. I’ve never kissed anyone with a bigger mouth than Angelina. It’s like two water beds. It’s like this big kind of warm, mushy, beautiful thing.”
– Model Jenny Shimizu, who claims in a new British documentary she’s been Angelina Jolie’s lesbian lover ever since they met on the set of the movie “Foxfire” in 1993.

FACE BUZZ:
Honeybees may look pretty much all alike to us. But it seems we may not look all alike to them. A study at Johannes Gutenberg University in Mainz, Germany has found that bees can learn to recognize human faces in photos – and remember them for at least 2 days. (New TV show … “The FBI: Bee Squad”.)
– “World Science”

BS ASTOUNDING FACT:
A watch-list of possible terror suspects distributed by the US government to international airlines for pre-flight checks is now 80,000 names long. Before 9/11 in 2001, the classified list featured 16 names.
– Agence France-Presse

EXTRA GLASS TO SUPPORT TOO MUCH ASS:
Canon Corp is increasing the thickness of the glass in its photocopy machines because so many are being damaged by – people sitting on them. Fully one-third of Canon technicians report having to repair photocopiers after someone attempted to copy their own butt.
– “Social Studies”

DID YOU KNOW?
Dark hair is the new blond, according to Felicia Milewicz, beauty director at “Glamour” magazine.

HOLIDAY WEIGHT GAIN:
Conventional wisdom says we gain 10 lbs over the holiday season. Wrong! A recent study finds that holiday feasting causes an average gain of only 1 lb. The bad news is – most of us never drop it  and over years those 1-lb gains can easily add up to a belly. (That shakes like a bowl full of jelly.)
– “New England Journal of Medicine”

FOR THE RECORD:
Maria Esther Capovilla [cap-oh-VEE-ya] has just been confirmed as the ‘World’s Oldest Living Person’ after her family sent details of her birth certificate to “Guinness World Records”. She was born in Guayaqull [guy-yah-COOL], Ecuador 116 years ago on September 14, 1889 and still lives there with her son & daughter-in-law.

2005 AFI AWARDS:
Each year, the American Film Institute honors the best film & TV creative ensembles as a whole, both in front of and behind the camera. The 10 best aren’t ranked, just listed alphabetically. The 6th annual award winners to be honored JANUARY 13th …
• MOVIES OF THE YEAR … “Brokeback Mountain”, “Capote”, “Crash”, “The 40 Year-Old Virgin”, “Good Night and Good Luck”, “A History of Violence”, “King Kong”, “Munich”, “The Squid & The Whale”, “Syriana”.
• TV PROGRAMS OF THE YEAR … “Battlestar Galactica”, “Deadwood”, “Grey’s Anatomy”, “House”, “Lost”, “Rescue Me”, “Sleeper Cell”, “Sometimes in April”, “24″, “Veronica Mars”.
–AP
NET: http://www.afi.com

THE BULL SHEET 12.13.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1925 [80] Dick Van Dyke, West Plains MO, former TV actor (“Diagnosis Murder” 1993-2001, “Dick Van Dyke Show 1961-66, 1971-74)/movie actor (“Mary Poppins”)  COMING UP: Now shooting the movie version of favorite kids’ book “Curious George”.

1929 [76] Christopher Plummer, Toronto ON, movie actor (“Syriana”, “National Treasure”)/2 Tony Awards/2 Emmy Awards/1 Genie Award/Governor-General’s Performing Arts Award (2001)/Canada’s Walk of Fame (1999)

1943 [62] Ferguson Jenkins, Chatham ON, Canada’s first Hall of Fame MLB player (pitcher with 3,192 career Ks, 1971 Cy Young Award with Chicago Cubs, 20-game winner 7 times, only MLB pitcher to strike out over 3,000 while walking less than 1,000)

1948 [57] Ted Nugent, Detroit MI, classic rock singer/guitarist (formerly Damn Yankees, Amboy Dukes) who’s sold over 30 million albums worldwide

1949 [56] Randy Owen, Ft Payne AL, retired country singer (Alabama-“When It All Goes South”, “The Closer You Get”)

1957 [48] Steve Buscemi, Brooklyn NY, TV actor (‘Tony Blundetto’ on “The Sopranos” 2004-05)/movie actor (“Big Fish”, “Fargo”)

1967 [38] Jamie Foxx, Terrell TX, movie actor (“Ray”, “Collateral”)  ON TAP: The bigscreen version of the classic TV show “Miami Vice”.

1975 [30] Tom DeLonge, Poway CA, rock singer (ex-Blink 182-“I Miss You”, “What’s My Age Again?”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “St Lucy’s Day”, honoring her 304 AD birth. Legend has it that, in order to follow a life of religious devotion, she cut out her eyes and sent them on a plate to a persistent lover who was haunted by them (especially afterward!). Today hotels in Sweden each feature their own ‘Lucia’, a young blond girl in white gown who serves guests coffee and ‘lussekatter’ (saffron buns) to celebrate.

• “Violins Day”, for some unknown reason. Don’t forget your G-string!

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1982 [23] Vanna White turns over her 1st letter on “Wheel of Fortune” – it’s a ‘T’ (man, what a soft touch to make a living!)

1985 [20] 1st movie with different endings (murder mystery “Clue” features 3 different finishes)

TODAY’S RECORDS . . .
1983 [22] Detroit Pistons beat Denver Nuggets 186-184 in TRIPLE OT after 3 hrs, 11 mins to set NBA records for ‘Most Points by a Team’ and ‘Most Total Points in a Game’ (and Most Numb-Bums in the Stands!)

1988 [17] 3 men end 29-hour, all-466-station subway ride in NYC (and live to tell about it!)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Wed] Bouillabaisse Day
[Wed] “King Kong” opens in movie theaters
[Thurs] “The Apprentice 4″ finalé
[Thurs] US Bill of Rights Day
[Fri] Chocolate Covered Anything Day
[Fri] “The Family Stone” opens in movie theaters
This Week Is … Drunk Drivers Awareness Week
This Month Is … Hi Neighbor Month

BULL’S BITS

BS REASONS TO DRINK DURING THE HOLIDAYS:
• You can tolerate your in-laws
• Beer goggles – who said the holidays have to be lonely?
• Why eat your calories when you can drink them?
• You give the best gift … alcohol.
• New Year’s resolutions seem attainable when you’re drunk.
• You love everyone … and everyone loves you.
• Be the funny guy at the party.
• Drinking in winter means staying warm … or at least feeling like you are.
• You bring spirit to the occasion, literally.
• The holidays go by much quicker … just a vague memory.
(Oops, they missed one: To wash down the bottle of sleeping pills.)
– “Forbes”

IN A WORD:
Q: What is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘m-t’? A few clues …
• Often you forget that you did this.
• You might have done it last night.
• Sometimes when you do this it’s scary.
• This often involves running away from something.
A: ‘Dreamt’.

Q: What are the 3 words in English that begin with the letters ‘d-w’? (Root words only, no compounds or variations.)
A: Dwarf, dwell, and dwindle.

BS WEB GOODIE:
In the past we’ve had to suffer bad odds – 1 turkey, 1 wishbone. At last, the synthetic wishbone! With the “Lucky Break Wishbone”, none of your holiday guests will be left out when it comes to making a wish. Try one … and you’ll wish you hadn’t spent a buck apiece on cheapo hunks of white plastic.
NET: http://www.luckybreakwishbone.com/

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average woman does THIS once a week; the average man, once a month.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Changes the bed sheets.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.

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