Wednesday, December 7, 2005        Edition: #3175
Thanks For Being On Our Sheet List!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY nominees in 108 categories (‘Best Classical Country Rap by a Duo’?) will be announced for the 48th annual “Grammy Awards” coming up FEBRUARY 8th in Los Angeles (NET: http://www.grammy.com/) . . . TONIGHT finalists Bre, Nicole & Nik try to out-pout and strut their way to becoming “America’s Next Top Model” as the season finalé airs on UPN (grand prize is a $100,000 Cover Girl Cosmetics contract & a fashion spread in “Elle” magazine) . . . TONIGHT ABC-TV moves “Alias” into its new day & time slot (10 pm) after already putting the show into cancellation mode . . . “Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit” has scored a leading 15 nominations for the 33rd annual “Annie Awards”, to be presented by the International Animated Film Society FEBRUARY 4th (other nominees include “Chicken Little”, “Corpse Bride” & “Madagascar”) . . . NBC-TV is set to announce a deal with Apple that would make its programs available for download and viewing on iPods (now you’ll be able to ignore them on podcast as well as broadcast!) . . . Wynonna Judd & Cowboy Troy will take over from Leann Rimes to host the 4th season of USA Network’s “Nashville Star” talent competition . . . Actor Adam Sandler is going to be a real-life “Big Daddy” as wife Jackie is expecting the couple’s first child NEXT SPRING . . . Now that Elizabeth Vargas & Bob Woodruff have been named as replacements for the late Peter Jennings on “ABC World News Tonight”, speculation is growing that Katie Couric will leave NBC’s “Today Show” for Dan Rather’s old anchor job on CBS-TV . . . According to the ‘Harry Potter’ audio tape narrator, Jim Dale, author JK Rowling will kill off the boy wizard in the 7th and final novel in the series (guess she figures she can struggle by on a couple of billion for the rest of her life).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Black Eyed Peas – Fergie reveals she once squirted champagne all over herself to disguise the fact she’d … er, had an accident during a concert. “It was a very memorable Pea experience,” she says.
• Coldplay – TONIGHT they’re on “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”.
• Diana Krall – TONIGHT she guests on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Elton John – He & David Furnish will wed in a civil partnership DECEMBER 21 at the Guildhall in Windsor UK, the very same registry office where Prince Charles & Camilla got married.
• Eminem – A friend claims the rapper will re-marry ex-wife Kim in the new year. Even though he’s slagged her in numerous tunes, it seems she’s still the love of his life.
• Evanescence – Amy Lee is being sued by her former management company for breach-of-contract to the tune $10 million. She fired them LAST WEEK. Bitter bitter!
• Queen – Guitarist Brian May has been named a ‘Companion of the Order of the British Empire’ (CBE) by Queen Elizabeth II. Not as prestigious as a knighthood, but a pretty good ‘attaboy’ for an old rocker.
• Stevie Wonder – He’s been announced as the pre-game entertainment at “Super Bowl XL” FEBRUARY 5th in Motown.
• U2 – “Vertigo” tour mania has hit Australia as all 125,000 tickets sold out in just 6 hours, perhaps because the band hasn’t played Oz in 8 years.

NEW BS GIZMOS & GADGETS:
• UK supermarket chain Tesco is launching the world’s first ‘Musical Sandwich’. Using the same technology as talking greeting cards, the sandwich (a combination of turkey & cranberry sauce with pork & cranberry stuffing) plays a medley of Christmas tunes when the package is opened. If the experiment proves popular, the company is considering working with record companies to launch new songs by way of the singing sandwich.
• Talk about your hi-tech throne! The state-of-the-art ‘Neorest’ toilet from Toto Corp is sleek, compact – and automated. Simply approach it and the lid lifts; stand in front and the seat rises. It also automatically flushes and lowers the lid upon completion. A remote control sets the seat temperature and activates a ‘cleanser’ and ‘air dryer’. Actor/rapper Will Smith is said to be a big fan, but so far sales have been a bit sluggish. Could it be the $5,000 price tag?

DID YOU KNOW?
According to newly-released UN stats, 2005 was the hottest, stormiest, and driest year ever recorded.

WATCH YOUR MANNERS:
A few tips for travellers from “Behave Yourself! The Essential Guide to International Etiquette” by Michael Powell …
• Norway: Even good friends rarely hug and kiss … unless the beer has been flowing, in which case Norwegians get very touchy-feely.
• Russia: Don’t whistle indoors. It’s said to bring bad luck or financial loss.
• Sweden: Punctuality is important. You must arrive on time, not even 5 minutes early and certainly not late.
• Saudi Arabia: You are advised not to give jewelry or silk items as gifts to men. Such items are considered effeminate. (The Saudi could possibly be so offended that he might, for example, refuse to hold hands.)
– “Social Studies”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A snapshot of who we are and what we do …
• 78% of men have bought a bottle of booze as a holiday gift for someone.
• 73% of us get stressed out about what to wear to at least one holiday occasion.
• 60% of single women say they would love a year’s supply of chocolate for Christmas.
• 58% of women polled say they want more money in 2006, 36% want more time, 6% more sex.
• 57% of us say flirting with co-workers at the holiday office party is ‘acceptable behavior’.
• 20% of us who have a rebound relationship, choose someone who is 180 degrees opposite.
• 12% of us will NOT go to any holiday season parties this year.

BIBLE IN THE BUFF:
The Katzwang Evangelical Youth Group in Nuremburg, Germany is causing an uproar by selling a calendar that portrays Biblical scenes using – nude models. Among the photos: a starkers ‘Eve’ holding an apple in her cleavage, a topless ‘Delilah’ cutting the hair of a sleeping ‘Sampson’, and the oh-so-exotic dance of ‘Salome’. The first printing sold out at $14 a pop and a second printing is now in the works. But many are less than pleased with the concept. For instance, a spokesman for the local Catholic archdiocese says, “The right way to approach the Holy Scriptures is not by pulling your pants down.”
– Ananova News

10 SAFEST CARS ON THE ROAD:
The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety has announced a new designation, the ‘Top Safety Pick’ awards, based on the performance of vehicles in crash tests. The 2006 passenger cars awarded the institute’s ‘Gold Award’ include the Ford Five Hundred/Mercury Montego with optional side air bags; the Saab 9-3; the Subaru Legacy; and the Honda Civic 4-door. The institute’s ‘Silver Award’ goes to the Audi A6, Audi A3 & Audi A4; the Chevrolet Malibu with optional side air bags; and the Volkswagen Jetta & VW Passat. No awards were given to minivans. Tests for pickups and sport utility vehicles are still being conducted.
– AP

HOLIDAY GIFT TABOOS:
There’s a whole lotta gift giving going on all over the world during the holidays. Occasional “BS” contributor Robyn Bentley says different cultures have different taboos about gifts as gifts are symbols and carry energy from the giver to the receiver, affecting both. Here are a few things Bentley says you should think twice about giving …
• Sharp objects like swords, knives, scissors, or letter openers. These send harsh energy to the receiver and are said to sever the friendship. If you receive one, the remedy for the bad luck from this type of gift is to immediately give the giver a coin to symbolize that you ‘bought’ the gift from them. If not, according to superstition, your relationship may end.
• Watches and clocks are popular gifts in the West but in Eastern culture they suggest a limited life-span. They symbolize time running out. When you give them, you remind the recipient they have less time to live.
• Empty wallets & purses. Always include a small amount of money. If you receive one as a gift, you can remedy any bad luck you might experience by immediately adding some money and giving it away to someone else.
• Handkerchiefs. Symbolically, handkerchiefs are for wiping away tears & sweat. They suggest that you expect the recipient to be doing a lot of crying in the future or wiping away sweat from frustration.
• Long-stemmed red roses with thorns are a no-no because they are said to cause the relationship to suffer. Yellow, cream or pink roses with no thorns would be a better choice.
• Never re-gift or recycle gifts unless you are doing it to remedy bad luck from a gift you receive. Otherwise, when you recycle a gift, it symbolizes that you are giving away your friendship with the person who gave you the gift. And oh … it’s also really tacky.
PHONER: 804.241.1685 (Robyn Bentley, The Feng Shui Diva)
NET: http://FengShuiDiva.com

THE BULL SHEET 12.07.2K5

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1948 [57] Gary Morris, Fort Worth TX, country singer (“Love Hurts”)

1949 [56] Tom Waits, Pomona CA, innovative singer/soundtrack composer (“Jarhead”)/sometime actor (“Domino”)
 
1973 [32] Terrell Owens, Alexander City AL, pain-in-the-neck NFL WR who’s likely played his final football game (suspended from Philadelphia Eagles)

1987 [18] Aaron Carter, Tampa FL, pseudo-singer (“Crush On You”)/pseudo-actor (“Popstar”)/B-list celebrity/younger brother of pop singer Nick Cater (Backstreet Boys)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
[UN] “International Civil Aviation Day”

[USA] “National Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day” (1841)
NET: http://www.history.navy.mil/photos/events/wwii-pac/pearlhbr/pearlhbr.htm

TODAY on the Caribbean island of Antigua is the annual “Burning of the Devil”. Thousands of locals watch as a large effigy of his nastiness is set ablaze at a convent, followed by smaller fires throughout the capital city.

THIS MONTH is “Healthy Skin Month”. Ask listeners the strangest concoctions they’ve heard of as beauty treatments. (The Internet ‘Womens Forum’ lists formulas involving oatmeal, honey, avocado, bananas, yogurt, cucumber, strawberries, cornmeal and apricots, among others.)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1998 [07] Britney Spears’ debut single “Baby One More Time” is certified a million-seller

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1935 [70] 1st ‘Western’ team to win the “Grey Cup” (Winnipeg edges Hamilton 18-12)

1963 [42] 1st use of ‘Instant Replay’, in Army-Navy football game on CBS-TV (nowadays we get replay after replay from a half-dozen angles — above, opposite-side, underneath …)

TODAY’S RECORD . . .
1934 [71] University of Washington running back Byron Haines scores all the points in a game –  for both teams! (runs for a TD, then later is pushed back into his own end zone for a safety –  final score UW 6, USC 2)

COMING UP . . .
[Thurs] Bad Hair Day
[Fri] “The Chronicles of Narnia”, “Brokeback Mountain” and “Syriana” open in movie theaters
[Sat] International Human Rights Day
[Sat] Nobel Prize Awards Ceremonies
[Sun] “Survivor: Guatemala” finalé
[Sun] 2005 Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo, Norway)
This Week Is . . . Human Rights Week
This Month Is . . . Closed Caption TV Month

BULL’S BITS

BS CASTING COMPROMISES:
Picture these classic movies had they been made with the originally planned actors …
• Kim Basinger turned down the star role in “Basic Instinct” that later went to Sharon Stone.
• When “Charlie’s Angels” was first planned for the bigscreen back in 1998, it was supposed to star ‘James Bond’ girl Michelle Yeoh as ‘Sabrina’, Jada Pinkett (Mrs Will Smith) as ‘Kelly’, and Jenny McCarthy as sexy ‘Jill’.
• The lead role in the Harrison Ford movie “Air Force One” was intended for Kevin Costner.
• The lead role in the Whoopi Goldberg movie “Sister Act” was intended for Bette Midler.
• Bruce Willis turned down the male lead in the hit movie “Ghost”. Patrick Swayze took it.
• Stephen Baldwin turned down the male lead in the hit movie “Speed”. Keanu Reeves got it.
• The first choice for ‘The Joker’ in “Batman” was Robin Williams. Jack Nicholson got the part.
• The first choice for the role of ‘Axel Foley’ in “Beverly Hills Cop” was Sylvester Stallone. Eddie Murphy got the part.

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
• Think about it … no husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

TRUTH OR BS?
Which of the following statements are true and which are just a load of hooey?
• ‘Jack the Ripper’ only killed on weekends. [TRUE]
• The liver is a gland not an organ. [BS. It’s actually both.]
• Your brain is more active when you sleep than it is when you watch TV. [TRUE]
• An aphid, which is a plant louse, is born pregnant. [TRUE]
• Hot water weighs more than cold water. [BS]
• In medieval England, beer was served with breakfast. [TRUE]
• A network of Ontario lakes is named for the AA Milne characters ‘Winnie the Pooh’, ‘Christopher Robin’, ‘Piglet’, ‘Tigger’, ‘Eeyore’, ‘Owl’, ‘Rabbit’, ‘Kanga’ and ‘Roo’. [TRUE]
• Men are 5 times more likely to shoplift than women. [BS. In fact, the exact opposite is true.]

BS PHONE STARTER:
What’s the absolute worst song of 2005? (Lots to pick from: Pussycat Dolls’ “Don’t Cha”; Black Eye Peas’ “My Humps”; R Kelly’s “Trapped In The Closet”; D4L’s “Laffy Taffy”; Hilary Duff’s “Wake Up”; Tim McGraw’s “Drugs or Jesus”; Rob Thomas’ “Lonely No More”; but our pick as the worst of the worst – Jessica Simpson’s lame remake of “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’.”)

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: More of THESE are made during December than any other month.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: More babies are conceived than at any other time of the year. (AskMen.com)

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.


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