Thursday, December 23, 2004        Edition: #2937
Get a Load of This Sheet!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
TODAY all 5 former Spice Girls will reunite – not to sing, thank god – it’s for the christening of Brooklyn & Romeo Beckham at David & Victoria (Posh Spice) Beckhams’ UK estate . . . Her “Fat Actress” reality TV show doesn’t even debut until next MARCH but Kirstie Alley is already cashing in, signing as the spokesperson for a new Jenny Craig weight-loss program . . . Thanks to pre-orders, the 6th “Harry Potter” book topped the Amazon.com best-sellers’ list, just hours after its release date was announced . . . It now looks like Uma Thurman is set to play Swedish secretary ‘Ulla’ in the movie version of “The Producers”, the role Nicole Kidman backed out of (now David Letterman will be saying “Uma … Ulla, Ulla … Uma”) . . . Actress Cameron Diaz has just bought a $2.7-million house in the Hollywood Hills (actually fairly modest for someone who picked up $20 million for her last film) . . . Latest celeb said to be involved in a steamy homemade video that’s set to hit the Internet is – Paige Davis, host of the home reno show “Trading Spaces” (word is no make-over is required!) . . . Ashley Olsen (the fat twin) has reportedly been taking acting classes in secret at NYC’s prestigious William Esper Studio (she’s been acting since she was in diapers and made $150 million from it – isn’t this a tad late in the game?).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Alanis Morissette – She tells “Us Weekly” she & her fiancé Ryan Reynolds will take a 10-day vacation in Bali over Christmas. The couple have yet to set a marriage date but she says a wedding could happen on the spur-of-the-moment because they’re really spontaneous.
• Barry Manilow – Demand to see him during his upcoming 1-year gig at the Las Vegas Hilton was so great when tickets first went on sale, the switchboard shut down for 2 hours. And THAT’S why he’s getting $60 million.
• Keith Urban – He’ll be spending the holidays at his brother’s house in Australia where it’s now summertime and they’ll likely celebrate by going to the beach.
• Lenny Kravitz – THIS MORNING he’s on “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Norah Jones – She’s just canceled an upcoming concert in Jakarta, Indonesia after government warnings about potential terrorist attacks.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Keira Knightley will play the title role in “Domino”, an upcoming bio-film about Domino Harvey, a former fashion model who quit the biz to become a bounty hunter . . . Harrison Ford has signed on to play real-life US General Jim Mattis in the Iraq war drama “True Glory: The Battle for Fallujah” . . . Former super-agent & former Disney honcho Michael Ovitz is producing a feature film version of the Tom Clancy video game “Splinter Cell” . . . Penelope Cruz & Salma Hayek will star in “Bandidas”, an upcoming Western about a pair of female outlaws in 19th-century Mexico . . . And a crime caper called “Suicide Squad” is in development, about – no BS – a suicide hotline operator who recruits a ‘ragtag group of suicidal outcasts’ to help knock over a horserace track.

GOING GA-GA OVER LANGUAGE:
Florida State University anthropologist Dean Falk says baby talk, which every mother uses to communicate with her baby, likely holds the key to the emergence of language. Falk claims the universal language of ‘motherese’, characterized by a high-pitched voice, long drawn-out vowels, repetitive phrases and a sing-song cadence, plays an important role in how babies learn to talk and just may be the primal source of all human language. (On the other hand, ‘fatherese’ is credited with the development of gaseous relief.)
– “Behavioral & Brain Sciences”

SKIPPY IS GOOD FOR YOU:
A new Pennsylvania State University study suggests that a daily dose of peanuts or peanut butter helps us meet the recommended daily allowance for vitamins and nutrients. A diet that includes peanut and/or peanut butter is high in vitamins A and E, folic acid, calcium, magnesium, zinc, iron, and fiber. Nuts are also loaded with mono-unsaturated fats, which have been linked to lower cholesterol. (Trouble is, you now have to eat peanuts in total isolation due to all the people who are anaphylactic. How come no one was allergic to them 10 years ago?)
– ANI

THE SILVER LINING:
Silver has been one of the most popular colors with new-car buyers in recent years, according to companies that supply paints and finishes to automakers. Lorene Boettcher, manager in global design and color marketing for automotive coatings at PPG in Troy MI says: “The reason for this is silver’s ability to make any model type, new or old, appear more hi-tech, futuristic, luxurious and prestigious.” (Yeah, that’s how people view my Ford Focus … ‘prestigious’.)
– “Seattle Post-Intelligencer”

BULL’S INTERNATIONAL MOOS:
• ‘Stick ‘em’ up took on a whole new meaning in Rio de Janeiro, when 6 pistol-packing men robbed a drugstore of all its – anti-impotence pills. The bandits took more than a hundred packages of Viagra, Cialis and Levitra worth about $2,600. (Well, they should be easy to spot in a line-up, anyway.)
• An 18-year-old man visiting his brother in a Swedish prison swapped clothes with him and traded places so the sibling could escape. Authorities at the Kronenberg Jail said the only noticeable difference between the two was a birthmark on the face of the one doing time, but that was taken care of with an ink pen. Now they’re both behind bars!
• British naval brass has admitted paying the cost of a boob job – for a male sailor. The seaman, who is in his 20s, had a breast-reduction operation to remove saggy ‘man boobs’ after losing a lot of weight. Navy officials insisted the surgery was carried out for ‘serious clinical reasons’. (Hey, you know what they say – more than a handful’s a waste.)
• Only 3 people have so far tried (and failed) to eat what is believed to be the ‘World’s Biggest Burger’ offered up by a restaurant in Glasgow, Scotland. Baloo Burger Company promises that anyone who finishes off the 10-lb burger in under 3 hours will get it free, along with a certificate and their picture on the eatery’s wall. It’ll cost you a fair bit to try – the big burg goes for $125.

HOTTEST WOMEN OF 2004:
10. Eva Longori
9. Angelina Jolie
8. Nicole Kidman
7. Charlize Theron
6. Destiny’s Child
5. Alicia Keys
4. Kate Winslet
3. Sarah Michelle Gellar
2. Paris Hilton
1. Jessica Simpson
– Netscape “Celebrity”

AMERICA’S SAFEST CITIES:
1. Newton MA
2. Brick Township NJ
3. Amherst NY
4. Mission Viejo CA
5. Clarkstown NY   
USA’S MOST DANGEROUS CITES:
1. Camden NJ
2. Detroit MI
3. Atlanta GA
4. St Louis MO
5. Gary IN
– Morgan Quitno Press 11th annual ranking of 354 US cities.

SPACE IS FOR WOMEN:
According to a new study, ‘Princess Leia’ of “Star Wars” would make a better commander than “Star Trek’s” ‘Captain Kirk’. Ohio State researchers say that women are more suited to be astronauts because long cosmic journeys increase the risk of heart disease, which is more common in men. Women are also protected from heart disease in space by their higher levels of estrogen whereas men have more iron in their bodies that can reach toxic levels in weightless conditions. And finally, the research points out that women are also more suited mentally to the challenge of long-term living in a spacecraft. (Yeah, there’s what you want – a bunch of PMS victims stuck together in confined quarters.)
– “UK Sun”

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• People living in Canada who are eligible to vote in THIS WEEKEND’S Ukrainian (do-over) election can only do so at the Ukraine embassy in Ottawa or the consulate in Toronto. Kind of a raw deal when most Ukrainian-Canadians live in the West!
• Over 4 million tons of holiday gift wrap is collected by trash haulers each year.

THE BULL SHEET 12.23.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1943 [61] Harry Shearer, LA CA, comedian/TV voice-over actor (numerous voices on “The Simpsons”)/movie actor (“This Is Spinal Tap”)

1947 [57] Susan Lucci, Scarsdale NY, TV soap opera actress (‘Erica Kane’ on “All My Children” since 1970) who’s 1 for 21 at the Emmy Awards

1964 [40] Eddie Vedder (Mueller), Evanston IL, alternative rock singer (Pearl Jam- “Jeremy”, “Last Kiss”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
181 years ago TODAY (1823), “Account of a Visit from St Nicholas” (better known as “Twas the Night Before Christmas”) by Clement C Moore was first published in the “Troy (NY) Sentinel”.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1997 [07] Woody Allen & step-daughter Soon-Yi Previn quietly wed in Venice, Italy

TODAY’S FIRST . . .
1951 [53] 1st ‘Coast-to-Coast Televised Football Game’ as LA Rams beat Cleveland Browns 24-17 for NFL championship

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] National Egg Nog Day
[Sat] Christmas Day
[Sat] “Fat Albert” and “The Dark” open in movie theaters
[Sun] Kwanzaa begins
[Sun] Awful Tie Day
[Mon] National Fruitcake Day
[Tues] Card Playing Day
This Week Is . . . It’s About Time Week
This Month Is . . . Winter Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
BS DUMB LAWS STILL ON THE BOOKS:

• In Portugal, it’s against the law to pee in the ocean.
• In Australia, it’s illegal to give any animal you plan to eat a name.
• In Cannes, France it’s illegal to wear a Jerry Lewis mask.
• In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your wife’s birthday.
• In Italy, anyone considered obese is forbidden from wearing polyester.
– “Weekly World News”

Which celeb would you most like to catch under the mistletoe?
MOST KISSABLE MEN:
1. Orlando Bloom (21%)
2. Brad Pitt (19%)
3. George Clooney (17%)
4. Colin Farrell (14%)
5. Tom Cruise (9%)
MOST KISSABLE WOMEN:
1. Angelina Jolie (31%)
2. Keira Knightley (23%)
3. Halle Berry (13%)
4. Cameron Diaz (11%)
5. Charlize Theron (9%)
– Newly-released Sky Movies poll.

BS XMAS QUIZ 3:
• Which of these names does NOT belong to one of Santa’s reindeer?
a) Comet
b) Prancer
c) Klaxon [CORRECT]

• In the Ukraine, what does it mean if you find a spider web in the house on Christmas morning?
a) You’ll have good luck. [CORRECT]
b) The winter will be unusually cold.
c) Your house needs cleaning.

• In many households, part of the fun of eating Christmas pudding is finding a trinket that predicts your fortune for the coming year. For instance, finding a coin means you will become wealthy. What will you be if you find a button?
a) Poor.
b) Famous.
c) A bachelor. [CORRECT]

• If you were given some ‘frumenty’ at a Medieval Christmas party, what should you do with it?
a) Eat it. [CORRECT ... it’s spiced porridge.]
b) Burn it.
c) Put it in your sweetheart’s hair.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: 40% of households do THIS on Christmas Eve.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Leave out milk and cookies for Santa.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Money can’t buy you happiness … but neither can poverty.


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