Thursday, December 9, 2004        Edition: #2927
Sheet Rocks!

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
63-year-old actor Ryan O’Neal (former Mr Farrah Fawcett) is making a comeback of sorts, soon appearing on “Desperate Housewives” playing the father-in-law of ‘Felicity Huffman’ . . . This is life in Hollywood – actress Charlize Theron, who injured her back on the set of the movie “Aeon Flux” earlier THIS YEAR, has just hired a professional to – scoop up after her dog (hmm, what would that profession be called?) . . . Meantime, British pet advocacy group ‘Dogs Trust’ is lashing out at celebs like Paris Hilton & Britney Spears for inspiring the trend of using their tiny pooches (‘Tinkerbell’ & ‘Lacy Loo’) as fashion accessories, and warns giving someone a new puppy as a Christmas gift is not something that should be done lightly (besides you can get a hernia from carrying around a St Bernard in your handbag) . . . Actor-turned-Parkinson’s activist Michael J Fox has fulfilled a dream by playing hockey alongside former Buffalo Sabres star Gilbert Perreault in the “Champions in Courage” charity game which raised over $200,000 for the Buffalo NY Women & Children’s Hospital (Fox even scored a goal late in the game!) . . . Soap fans will be thrilled that CBS-TV has just re-upped #1 daytime drama “The Young & the Restless” for 5 more years, taking it through its 37th season (that’s a heckuva lot of diseases and divorces!) . . . Lindsay Lohan is now seeing Armani model Clarence Fuller, a friend of her ex-boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama (the word ‘spite’ comes to mind).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Coldplay – They want to try out material from their new album on small audiences so they’re planning gigs in London, Liverpool & Scotland next SPRING in halls which hold no more than 1,000 people.
• Green Day – They’re working on developing a movie based on their ‘punk rock opera’ “American Idiot”.
• Lee Ann Womack – She’s completed her latest studio album, “There’s More Where That Came From”, to be released FEBRUARY 8th.
• Mariah Carey – She’s bringing her act to Broadway with a Christmas themed musical, expected to debut a year from now.
• Phil Collins – He & Swiss wife Orianne have welcomed a 2nd son whom they’ve named Matthew. They already have a 3-year-old boy, Nicholas.
• Pink – She says she plans to write a film script based on her innermost thoughts and feelings that are recorded in her private diary.
• Toby Keith – Classic rocker Ted Nugent will join him for about 20 arena dates in the first part of 2005. They first worked together on a USO tour LAST SUMMER.
• Usher – He spent over $300,000 on the top-of-the-line Maybach 62 then personally oversaw customization that took 2 months to complete, including a partition between front and back seats and curtains on the windows.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
Dwight Yoakam & Billy Bob Thornton have been signed for the movie “Liberating Paris”, about  a memorable year in the lives of 6 middle-aged friends in the small town of Paris, Arkansas . . . Ashton Kutcher looks to star in the drama “Random Acts of Kindness”, about a suicidal young man who is rescued by a reclusive novelist . . . Even though “Alexander” has tanked, Oliver Stone is lining up another historical figure for his next pic, this time former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, and he says he wants to land Meryl Streep for the lead . . . Nicole Kidman will next star in “Wedding Season”, a romantic comedy about a cynical woman and her longtime boyfriend who rethink their promise to never marry after attending 17 weddings together in 6 months . . . Chris Columbus is set to produce & direct “Sub-Mariner”, a bigscreen version of one of Marvel Comics’ oldest superheroes . . . And a  movie based on Marvel Comics’ “Iron Man” may star Justin Timberlake as the billionaire who invents an iron super-suit (hey JT, you got rust in your pants!).

SIMPLE JOYS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS:
Believe it or not, it is not the moolah but the simplest of daily activities that determine how happy we are in our lives. According to a University of Michigan psychology study, simple daily routines like watching TV, eating, exercising, etc hold the key to our happiness. The study also reveals that ‘intimate relations’ form the most enjoyable part of our lives. And the least enjoyed part? Commuting. (So if you’re initmate during the morning drive, it at least balances out.)
– “Science”

FAUX CANADIAN:
New Mexico-based company ‘T-Shirt King’ is offering Americans the chance to avoid discussing their politics while traveling abroad by going incognito as – Canadians! For $24.95 you get a complete disguise kit that includes a T-shirt featuring a Canadian flag over the slogan “O Canada!”, a ‘Canada’ patch for your luggage or backpack, a ‘CDN’ bumper or window sticker, a maple-leaf-flag lapel pin, plus the free brochure “How to Speak Canadian, Eh?!”. (To truly pass yourself off as Canadian, be sure to say “Sorry” for everything, even when someone steps on YOUR toes.)
NET: http://www.t-shirtking.com
– “The Standard”

FROM THE BS POLL VAULT:
A look at who we are and what we do …
• 70% of pet owners say they sign their critter’s name on their greeting cards.
• 60% of women polled say their #1 Christmas wish would be a year’s supply of chocolate
• 41% of women think it’s okay to ask a man how much money he makes on the first date.
• 31% of us have shared a passionate kiss with a co-worker at a company holiday party.
• 29% of us have had a one-night-stand following a company holiday party.
• 26% of us have ‘re-gifted’ an item at least once.

SLEEPING IT OFF:
A good night’s sleep may be the best remedy for a bad day at work, a new University of Florida study reveals. The researchers found that employees who have stressful days tend to bring their negative moods home with them. The study suggests the boundaries between work and family are permeable and people do tend to import their work-life into the home. On the upside – in most cases the blues disappear by morning, thus hinting a link between sleep and de-stressing. (Yeah, usually around 3am most of us are fairly stress-free.)
– ANI

MOST COMMON CHRISTMAS GIFTS GIVEN BY ADULTS:
1. Clothing – 28% (remember to ‘up-size’ for holiday season weight gain)
2. Gift Certificates – 23% (the gift that says “I couldn’t think of anything else”)
3. Books or Stationary – 15% (so you HAVE to write a thank-you note)
– Zogby poll

TOP TREE:
Shopping for a Christmas tree? They’re not available everywhere but the best choice according to experts is the balsam fir. Why? It has firm branches, excellent needle retention and a terrific fragrance. (And they’re such a wonderful deal at $25 … per foot!)
– National Christmas Tree Association

BS AMAZING FACT:
It’s the busiest month for shopping and DECEMBER is also the busiest month for – shoplifting.

AND WE QUOTE:
“It’s weird. Girls always want a hug, and I’m not a very huggy person. I’ll be at a mall and there’ll be an assembly line of girls who all want an embrace, like I’m Santa.”  — “OC” star Adam Brody whining about being surrounded by starstruck girls wherever he goes.

THE BULL SHEET 12.09.2K4

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1916 [88] Kirk Douglas (Issur Danielovich Demsky), Amsterdam NY, movie acting legend  (“Spartacus”)/Honorary Academy Award (1996)/AFI Lifetime Achievement Award (1999)/father of actor-producer Michael Douglas

1934 [70] Dame Judi Dench, York UK, movie actress (‘M’ in ‘James Bond’ movies, Oscar-“Shakespeare in Love”)

1941 [63] Beau Bridges, Hollywood CA, movie actor (“The Fabulous Baker Boys”)/actor Jeff Bridges’ brother

1953 [51] John Malkovich, Christopher IL, movie actor (“Con Air”)

1957 [47] Donny Osmond, Ogden UT, former pop singer (The Osmonds)

1969 [35] Jakob Dylan, LA CA, rock singer (The Wallflowers-“One Headlight”)/Bob Dylan’s son

1970 [34] David Kersh, Humble TX, country singer (“If I Never Stop Loving You”)

1972 [32] Tre Cool (Frank Edwin Wright III), Berkeley CA, rock drummer (Green Day-“American Idiot”)

1978 [26] Jesse Metcalfe, Waterford CT, TV actor (hunky gardener ‘John Rowland’ on “Desperate Housewives”)

BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
TOMORROW is “Nobel Prize Awards Day”, the day the annual prizes are presented in the categories of physics, chemistry, medicine, literature, economics and peace. All but the latter are awarded by the Swedish branch of the Nobel Foundation, the peace prize handed out by the Norwegians. The awards are presented by the King at a formal ceremony in the Stockholm Concert Hall. Each winner receives a gold medal, a large sum of money and incredible prestige. Winning the Nobel Prize is for many the peak of intellectual achievement, something far beyond any other award.

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1965 [39] 1st broadcast of the TV special “A Charlie Brown Christmas” (leads to the expression ‘a Charlie Brown tree’)

1973 [31] 1st “Royal Canadian Air Farce” broadcast (CBC Radio)

TODAY’S MUSIC EVENT . . .
1950 [54] Seasonal recording “Frosty The Snowman” is 1st released by Gene Autry

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1851 [153] 1st ‘YMCA’ in North America (Montréal)

1968 [36] 1st ‘computer mouse’ introduced, by far the most popular pointing device used to interact with computers

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] International Human Rights Day
[Fri] Children’s Memorial Day
[Fri] “Ocean’s Twelve” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo, Norway)
[Sun] Poinsettia Day
[Sun] National Ding-A-Ling Day
[Mon] Gemini Awards Gala
[Tues] Bouillabaisse Day
This Week Is . . . Drunk Drivers Awareness Week
This Month Is . . . Hi Neighbor Month

BULL’S BITS . . .
MORE BS QUESTIONS PLAGUING HUMANITY:

• Some packages say ‘Open Here’. Are there others you must ‘Open Somewhere Else’?
• When you ‘reboot’ your computer, does that mean kicking it again?
• Do bioengineers make designer genes?
• Who opened that first oyster and said “My, my, my. Now doesn’t THIS look yummy.”
• When they rang in 2005 BC, did they count UP to the New Year?
• If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?

BS ‘URBAN MYTH’ GAME:
Are the following true or just a widely spread legend?
• Christmas cards date back to 1843. [TRUE. In fact , it was 161 years ago TODAY when the first commercial Christmas card went on sale in London. A thousand ‘Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year' cards by British painter John Callcott Horsley were marketed, depicting a family raising their glasses in a toast.]
• The day after Thanksgiving is the biggest shopping day of the year in America. [MYTH. According to the International Council of Shopping Centers, it usually ranks about 5th.]
• German and British front-line soldiers sang carols, exchanged gifts, and played soccer during a World War I Christmas truce. [TRUE]
• Jesus was born on December 25. [MYTH. The idea of celebrating the birth of Christ on December 25 was not suggested until early in the 4th century. It was a clever move on the part of the church, which wished to eclipse the December 25th festivities of the rival pagan religion.]
• Angels sang during the first Christmas. [MYTH. Not mentioned anywhere in the Bible.]
• Poinsettia plants are poisonous to humans. [MYTH ... sorta. A 50-lb child would have to eat more than 1.25 lbs or 500-to-600 leaves, according to the Poison Index Information Service.]
• The suicide rate increases significantly during the winter holiday season. [MYTH. In fact studies show the exact opposite seems to be true, due to all the social interaction during the season.)
• Animal crackers were first introduced as a Christmas ornament. [TRUE. The National Biscuit Co began marketing them in 1902 in a box with a string attached so you could hang it as an ornament.]
– “Urban Myths of Christmas”/”Urban Myth” board game.

TODAY’S RHETORICAL QUESTION:
Which holiday special would you least like to watch?
a. “Sex in the City of Bethlehem”
b. “Gilmore Girls Gone Wild”
c. “A Very O.C. Christmas”
d. “Kwanzaa Eye for the Straight Guy”
e. “TRL: Chanukkah Classics”
– “Maxim” magazine.

BS BLATANT JOKES:
• Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and  challenges … but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.
• We have a rule in our house – we never go to bed mad. We stay up and fight!

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What Christmas gift that you received as a kid do you still have?
• What currently hot movie star will be a ‘has-been’ within 5 years?

BS INTERVIEW:
This sounds like something out of “Six Feet Under” – a cremation container that you wear around your neck! After finding more and more patrons were asking for personal keepsakes, Batesville Casket Co in Batesville IN developed the pendant necklace as another option to a cremation urn. So how much of grandma can you cram in there?
PHONER: 812.934.7500 (Batesville Corporate Headquarters)
NET: http://www.batesville.com

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: The average kid does THIS for 37 seconds.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Sits on Santa’s knee.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
Blessed are the censors, for they shall inhibit the Earth.


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