Tuesday, December 7, 2004        Edition: #2925
A Bull in Hand Is A Sheetload of Fun!

With a total box office over $110 million so far, “National Treasure” is on track to surpass 1996’s “The Rock” ($134 million) as Nicolas Cage’s biggest-ever movie . . . The ad agency Pere Partnership ranks Eminem as the hottest current spokesperson for reaching a young audience, slightly ahead of ‘Patrick the Starfish’ from “SpongeBob SquarePants” and – will she ever go away? – Paris Hilton . . . Paris Hilton says she wants to be settled down with a husband & children within the next 2 years (you ain’t gonna find him under a table, honey) . . . “Survivor Vanuatu” producer Mark Burnett tells “Entertainment Weekly” he edited out scenes of Ami kissing girlfriend Crissy and Scout kissing partner Annie because he ‘didn’t think it was right to show lesbian kisses at 8 o’clock’ (translation: the threat of huge FCC fines scared the crap out of him) . . . Producers are looking for a North American distributor for the popular European reality TV show “Private Stars” in which 5 ‘real world’ guys get a shot at a porn movie contract based on their ‘performance’ on the show . . . An anti-tobacco group Down Under is protesting the nomination of Nicole Kidman as “Australian of the Year”, because she ‘flaunts her cigarette habit, reinforcing the message that smoking and glamour go together’ (yeah, nothing more glamorous than kissing an ashtray!).

• Barenaked Ladies – TODAY they’re on TV’s syndicated “Live With Regis & Kelly”.
• Lindsay Lohan – TODAY she releases her debut album, “Speak”, on the Tommy Mottola-run Casablanca Records.
• Lynn Anderson – TODAY the 57-year-old country vet (“Rose Garden”) releases a new album, “Heart Songs”. Is getting your name in the news for DUI the latest marketing strategy?
• Maroon 5 – TONIGHT they appear on NBC-TV’s “Tonight Show With Jay Leno”.
• Nelly – TONIGHT he does “Late Show With David Letterman” on CBS-TV.
• Terri Clark’s – Her “Greatest Hits: 1994-2004“ has been certified gold for shipments of 500,000 copies.
• U2 – Bono says he has no time for pampered musicians who moan about their life. Instead, he says, they should be grateful to their fans who have paid for their lavish lifestyles. (Hear hear!)

• “The Bourne Supremacy” (Action Thriller – DVD/VHS): In this sequel to 2002’s “The Bourne Identity”, Matt Damon returns as trained assassin ‘Jason Bourne’. After he’s framed for a botched CIA operation, he’s forced to take up his former life as a trained assassin to survive. If you like car chases, this one’s for you!
• “DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story” (Comedy – DVD): A group of misfits enter a Las Vegas dodgeball tournament in order to save their cherished local gym from the onslaught of a corporate fitness chain. Stars Vince Vaughn, and Ben Stiller as the mullet-sporting, Fu-Manchu-ed, egomaniac ‘White Goodman‘ (Stiller broke 3 cameras filming one scene, and even hit his actress-wife Christine Taylor in the face once.)
• “The Ultimate Matrix Collection” (10-disc DVD set): Features “The Matrix”, “The Matrix Reloaded” and “The Matrix Revolutions”, plus companion pieces “The Animatrix” and “The Matrix Revisited”. The ’Limited Edition Collector’s Edition’ version includes a ‘Neo’ figurine and 80-page book … for about $130.

• A Callaway FL couple is under arrest after they called cops to report a break-in and the theft of – their quarter-pound stash of marijuana. They dim-wit teens made things worse when they claimed they needed it back because they were going to sell it later. They’re now being held on $17,500 bond.
• A 41-year-old Greensburg PA woman has been charged with arson after firefighters found her most valuable household items (TV, microwave, clothing) had already been placed in the yard under a tarp – by the time they arrived to put out the fire!
• An 18-year-old wannabe burglar was captured by a security guard outside the Orlando FL restaurant he was attempting to break into. A brief chase ended after the suspect climbed into what he thought was a garbage can to hide but which turned out to be – a vat of discarded restaurant grease.

Here’s an interesting discovery from researchers at the University of Southern California – the longer you’ve been using e-mail, the less likely you are to promptly reply to incoming messages.
In fact, new users are more than twice as likely to reply to new messages ASAP compared to those who’ve used e-mail for 7 years or more. 65% of e-mail veterans allow 1 to 3 days before replying to messages. 10% wait for an entire week! (As all you newbies will discover, the novelty wears off quick … real quick.)
– “Minneapolis Star-Tribune”

Frequent flyer miles have become such a significant asset for a lot of people that warring spouses are fighting over them in divorces. By the way, the average member holds about 50,000 air miles worth thousands of dollars, according to “Inside Flyer” magazine. (Why not cash ‘em in and buy your spouse a one-way ticket?)
– “Lawyers Weekly”

According to a new survey by the Academy of Facial Plastic & Reconstructive Surgery, 59% of women and 54% of men would like to change at least one feature on their partner’s face. Asked what single change they would make to their lover’s mug, respondents say …
• Hair: 24% of women, 17% of men.
• Wrinkles: 9% of women, 11% of men.
• Nose: 11% of women, 9% of men.
• Mouth: 6% each.
• Eyes: 5% each.
• Ears: 4% each.
– Netscape “Love & Personals”

Moronic! Derivative! Or even worse … inspirational!
10. Limpbizkit – “Behind Blue Eyes”
9. Jet – “Cold Hard Bitch”
8. Joss Stone – “Fell in Love With a Boy”
7. Black Eyed Peas – “Let’s Get It Started”
6. Josh Groban – “You Raise Me Up”
5. Five for Fighting – “100 Years”
4. Toby Keith – “Whiskey Girl”
3. Eamon – “F*** It (I Don’t Want You Back)”
2. Nickelback – “Figured You Out”
1. Lenny Kravitz – “Lady”
– “Blender” magazine’s ‘Worst Songs of 2004’ list.

Model-turned fashion writer Diane Irons reveals sneaky little secrets to looking your best, some of them tipped by fashion models. A few highlights …
• Many models use toothbrushes to clean their lips. The bristles help slough off dead skin.
• Pepto Bismol makes the ultimate cleansing mask, especially for women with sensitive skin.
• Squeezing a capsule of vitamin E into your shampoo helps make hair healthier.
• Crisco makes a perfectly good makeup remover because it’s so easy on the skin.
• Birthday candles can be used to get a stuck zipper going again.
• Massaging coffee grounds on skin is an inexpensive way to make it suppler.
• Hydrogen peroxide and mild detergent will rescue a shirt scorched by your iron.
• Kitty Litter can be used as the base for a facial treatment. Just add and mayonnaise and stir!
• Hemorrhoid cream is also a good facial cream because it reduces the puffiness under eyes and leaves a smoother, refreshed appearance.
– “The World’s Best-Kept Beauty Secrets”

When toothpaste and mouthwash don’t work, what can you do to kill your bad breath? Here are 3 odd – but medically sound – cures for halitosis …
• Take Zinc: It makes your breath smell better because it binds to sulfur-producing bacteria, the main cause of chronic bad breath. So look for mouthwashes, gum, toothpaste, and even cold lozenges that contain zinc.
• Get the Right Toothpaste: The best toothpaste for breath is one that contains the ingredient stannous fluoride.
• Zap it with a Laser: As mentioned in “BS” a week ago, an Israeli scientist has developed a new 15-minute laser treatment that zaps tonsil tissue, then seals the grooves so bacteria can’t grow back.
– HealthDayNews/”Journal of Clinical Dentistry”

• More babies are conceived in DECEMBER than in any other month.
• For the purposes of official climate records, winter began December 2nd and ends February 28th, 2005.


1973 [31] Terrell Owens, Alexander City AL, outspoken NFL WR (Philadelphia Eagles)

1987 [17] Aaron Carter, Tampa FL, pseudo-singer (“Crush On You”)/pseudo-actor (“Fat Albert”)/B-list celebrity/younger brother of pop singer Nick Cater (Backstreet Boys) who dated both Hilary Duff & Lindsay Lohan (beginning their infamous feud)

[UN] “International Civil Aviation Day”
[USA] “Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day” (1941)

TODAY on the Caribbean island of Antigua is the annual “Burning of the Devil”. Thousands of locals watch as a large effigy of his nastiness is set ablaze at a convent, followed by smaller fires throughout the capital city.

TODAY at sunset the 8-day Jewish celebration “Hanukkah” or “Feast of Lights” begins. The menorah, holding 8 candles, has become a symbol of the holiday. Traditional foods include latkes and jelly doughnuts. “Happy Hanukkah!”, it’s another Hallmark moment …
NET: http://pressroom.hallmark.com/hanukkah.html

THIS MONTH is “Healthy Skin Month”. Ask listeners the strangest concoctions they’ve heard of as beauty treatments. (The Internet ‘Womens Forum’ lists formulas involving oatmeal, honey, avocado, bananas, yogurt, cucumber, strawberries, cornmeal and apricots among others.)

1998 [06] Britney Spears’ debut single “Baby One More Time” is certified a million-seller

1784 [220] 1st ‘screw’ (wow, really?)

1935 [69] 1st ‘western’ team to win the Grey Cup (Winnipeg edges Hamilton 18-12)

1963 [41] 1st use of ‘instant replay’, in Army-Navy football game on CBS-TV (nowadays we get replay after replay from a half-dozen angles — above, opposite-side, underneath . . .)

1934 [70] University of Washington running back Byron Haines scores all the points in a game –  for both teams! (runs for a TD, then later is pushed back into his own end zone for a safety – final score UW 6, USC 2)

[Wed] “2004 Billboard Music Awards” (Las Vegas)
[Wed] “Grammy Awards” nominees announced
[Wed] Bad Hair Day
[Wed] “Blade: Trinity” opens in movie theaters
[Fri] International Human Rights Day
[Fri] “Ocean’s Twelve” opens in movie theaters
[Sat] Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo, Norway)
This Week Is . . . Human Rights Week
This Month Is . . . Closed Caption TV Month


Here’s the Canucks with the most bucks according to a newly-released ranking …
1. Ken Thomson & family, Woodbridge Co, Toronto ($22.03 billion)
2. Galen Weston, Loblaw Companies, Toronto ($8.67 billion)
3. Jeff Skoll, eBay, Palo Alto CA ($6.66 billion)
4. JK & Jack Irving, Irving Oil, Saint John NB ($4.99 billion)
5. Jimmy Pattison, Jim Pattison Group, Vancouver ($4.17 billion)
– “Canadian Business Magazine”

In what country would you be if the mischievous elf ‘Jule-Nissen’ arrived with Christmas presents on ‘Jule-Buken’, the Christmas goat? [You’d either be in Denmark or into some really fine eggnog.]

• I went to a holiday party on the weekend where they served hors d’oeuvres. That’s basically a  a single ham sandwich cut into 40 pieces.
• They say it’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal the neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it!

• What did you really want for Christmas when you were a kid but never got?
• What tacky former Christmas gift do you feel you have to haul out and display whenever the giver comes to visit?
• Just for fun on weekends I like to go to the mall early, park near an entrance, then act like I’m backing out of the parking spot all day.

Today’s Question: THESE were first made from dyed goose and turkey feathers attached to wires.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Artificial Christmas trees (in the 19th century).

The early bird may get the worm, but it’s the SECOND mouse that gets the cheese.

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