Friday, December 11, 2009        Edition: #4163
Don’t Take Any Sheet, Unless It’s Pure Bull!

Today Anna Nicole Smith’s former lover Howard K Stern & 2 medics who treated her are scheduled to be arraigned on 23 felony charges relating to prescription drugs fed to the late actress (almost 3 years dead and she’s still tabloid fodder) . . . 51-year-old actor Alec Baldwin (“30 Rock”) has felt it necessary to share with “Men’s Journal” that he’s a ‘morning sex person’ because a little early lovemaking sets him up for the day (thereby answering the burning question on everyone’s mind) . . .  63-year-old entertainer Liza Minnelli has quietly settled a lawsuit out-of-court filed by former chauffeur/bodyguard M’hammed Soumayah, who accused her of violent outbursts and forcing him to engage in sexual relations in return for a $238,000-a-year salary (ew, creepy!) . . . 42-year-old pseudo-actress Pamela Anderson has delayed her debut performances in a traditional holiday season British ‘panto’ (musical-comedy) at London’s New Wimbledon Theatre due to unspecified ‘issues’ (she thought it involved modeling underwear) . . . 33-year-old Australian actor Sam Worthington (“Terminator: Salvation”, “Avatar”), who sold all his possessions in order to move to Hollywood, says he’s happy being homeless as he’s been living in hotels and staying with friends (who refer to him as ‘that freeloader Aussie guy’) . . . Movie legend Judy Garland has been voted ‘All-Time Top Female Gay Icon’ in a new online poll, ahead of singers Kylie Minogue and Madonna . . . And 23-year-old famous person Lindsay Lohan, who’s been in India since Wednesday shooting a BBC documentary about people-trafficking, claims she’s already ‘saved 40 lives’ and plans to continue ‘changing the world one child at a time’ until – she flies home Saturday (sniff, she’s so selfless!).

• AFI Awards (Melbourne, Australia) – Saturday the annual Australian Film Institute Awards are handed out. “Balibo” leads nominations with 14, followed by “Samson & Delilah” with 13. Baz Luhrmann’s $130-million film epic “Australia” (which tanked at the box office) has 6.
• “A Little Night Music” (NYC) – Sunday a revival of the Stephen Sondheim musical opens on Broadway, starring Angela Lansbury & Catherine Zeta-Jones playing mother & daughter.
• British Comedy Awards (London UK) – Saturday Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest movie, “Bruno”, leads nominations in the ‘Best Film’ category. There are also categories for ‘Best Sitcom’ and ‘Best Comedy Entertainment Personality’.
• “Christmas in Canaan” (Hallmark Channel) – Saturday Billy Ray Cyrus stars in this family Christmas story set in 1960s Texas, based on a novel co-written by country singer Kenny Rogers. Shot in Vancouver.
• “Garth at Wynn” – Tonight Garth Brooks begins an occasional series of weekend concerts at Wynn Las Vegas. Tickets are priced at $143, including surcharges.
• “The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty” debuts (A&E) – Sunday a 6-episode ‘reality miniseries’ debuts about brothers Jackie, Jermaine, Tito, and Marlon Jackson as they get ready to reunite for a concert tour. The project was in the works as a documentary before Michael Jackson died.
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Mighty Mighty Bosstones (“Pin Points & Gin Joints”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight They Might Be Giants (“Here Comes Science”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Snoop Dogg (“Malice N Wonderland”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Tonight Aerosmith guitarist Joe Perry.
• Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo, Norway) – Tonight Will Smith & Jada Pinkett Smith host the annual post-awards event that includes performances by Toby Keith, Wyclef Jean, Donna Summer, and Puerto Rican singer Luis Fonsi.
• “Spectacle: Elvis Costello With…” (CTV) – Tonight the 2nd season debuts with guests Bono and The Edge of U2.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Saturday “New Moon” star Taylor Lautner hosts; Bon Jovi is the musical guest.
• “Today Show” (NBC) – This morning Maxwell (“BLACKsummers’night”).
• “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Tony Bennett (“A Swingin’ Christmas”).


• Black Eyed Peas – 34-year-old Fergie wants to get pregnant next year as soon as the Peas current tour is finished in April. Hubby Josh Duhamel is apparently onboard with that idea.
• 50 Cent – He says he ‘couldn’t care less’ about the Grammy Awards because artists whose record companies spend money promoting them for awards are the ones who win.
• Guns N’ Roses – Tonight their “Chinese Democracy World Tour” is scheduled to kick off in Taipei, Taiwan. Sunday it moves on to Seoul, South Korea.
• Lady Antebellum – Sunday they sing the anthem prior to the St Louis Rams/Tennessee Titans NFL game in Nashville TN.
• Miley Cyrus – The wily 17-year-old veteran says she’s currently working on her last pop record, then intends to take a hiatus from music so she can drop her pop star image and concentrate on developing an edgier sound.
• Paul McCartney – He tells Britain’s “Q” magazine that marrying Heather Mills was one of the worst mistakes of his life. And at $40 million, one of the most expensive.
• Shakira – She says she doesn’t care if her lyrics don’t make sense (ie: “I’m starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office”) and admits sometimes she just write things because they rhyme.
• Sugarland – Sunday they perform for President Barack Obama during taping of the one-hour “Christmas in Washington” TV special. It airs December 20th on TNT. Other performers include Mary J Blige, Neil Diamond, Rob Thomas, and Usher. George Lopez hosts.
• Taylor Swift – Tonight she performs at the “Jingle Ball” concert sponsored by Z-100 (WHTZ-FM) at NYC’s Madison Square Garden.


• “Invictus” ( PG-13 Bio-Drama ): Clint Eastwood’s look at the life of Nelson Mandela is set after the fall of apartheid in South Africa and during his first term as president when he campaigned to host the 1995 Rugby World Cup. Stars Morgan Freeman as Mandela, and Matt Damon as the real-life rugby player at the center of the story (think he can pull off the accent?).
• “The Lovely Bones” ( PG-13 Horror Thriller ): Director Peter Jackson’s take on the best-selling Alice Sebold novel stars Rachel Weisz & Mark Wahlberg in the story of young ‘Susie Salmon’, who watches over her family from ‘the in-between’ as they deal with the aftermath of her brutal rape and murder. Shot in New Zealand and Pennsylvania.
• “The Princess & The Frog” ( G-Rated Family Animation. ): Old-fashioned hand-drawn Disney animation brings to life this fairytale set in Jazz Age-era New Orleans that centers on a young girl named ‘Princess Tiana’ (Anika Noni Rose) and her fateful kiss with a frog prince who wants to be human again. Among the voice cast: John Goodman, Oprah Winfrey, and Terrence Howard.

A new ranking of the foulest films to gross at least $500 million in worldwide box office, ranked by their awfulness …
10. “The Twilight Saga: New Moon” (2009) … $580 million.
9. “Ice Age: Dawn Of the Dinosaurs” (2009) … $884 million.
8. “Shrek the Third” (2007) … $799 million.
7. “Hancock” (2008) … $623 million.
6. “2012” (2009) … $669 million.
5. “Star Wars Episode 1, The Phantom Menace” (1999) … $922 million.
4. “Pirates Of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (2007) … $958 million.
3. “Pirates Of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” (2006) … $1.06 billion.
2. “The Da Vinci Code” (2006) … $758 million.
1. “Transformers: Revenge Of the Fallen” (2009) … $832 million.
– Adapted from


The artificial sweeteners saccharin and aspartame were found accidentally when lab workers doing research that had nothing to do with sweetening put a bit of the test compounds in their mouths and liked what they tasted. Similarly, the scientists who discovered sucralose (now sold as Splenda) were originally trying to create an insecticide. An assistant thought he had been told to ‘taste’ a compound which he’d only been asked to ‘test’. (You don’t wanna know what happened when they ordered him to ‘eat grits’.)
– “Discover Magazine”

Pantone Color Institute, the company whose business is to know everything there is to know about colors, has just unveiled the ‘Color Of the Year for 2010′ (drumroll, please) … turquoise! It’s thought to be universally appealing because it puts everyone in the same state of mind … on vacation. It’s also said to be ‘transporting’, as it reminds us of places elsewhere. Pantone hasn’t even bothered selecting a runner-up color because it thinks we’re all craving escapism and freshness after a tough year. Pantone’s color for 2009 was mimosa yellow. (So throw all your yellow stuff out … it’s now so passé.)
– AP Fashion


• The present land speed record for a lawnmower is 80.792 mph. ‘Project Runningblade’, led by Stephen Vokins of the Beaulieu National Motor Museum in the UK, hopes to soon break that record with a new lawnmower capable of reaching 100 mph. Note that these are not just small race cars made to resemble lawnmowers – they must cut grass on racing day and be manufactured by a legit lawnmower producer.
• 25 years ago, Kris Marshall of Iowa draped a strand of Christmas lights across his pickup truck. Now, 8 incarnations later, the ‘Christmas Truck’ has 3,000 lights. By his own estimate there are 50-to-70 strings with a mixture of 50 and 100 lights each. There are no LEDs, just the cheap 89-cent strings, although he’d like to add some to take pressure off his taxed generator.

• The ‘videophone’ was invented by Bell Laboratories in 1927.
• The first electronic mail, or ‘email’, was sent in 1971 by Ray Tomlinson. It was also his idea to use the @ sign to separate the name of the user from the name of the computer.


1944 [65] Brenda Lee (Tarpley), Lithonia GA, 4′-9” oldies singer who was 16 when she recorded “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”/Country Music Hall of Fame (1998)/Rock & Roll Hall of Fame (2002)

1954 [55] Jermaine Jackson, Gary IN, reality TV star (“The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty”)/former singer (Jackson 5)

1958 [51] Nikki Sixx (Frank Ferranno), San Jose CA, rock bassist (Motley Crue-“If I Die Tomorrow”, “Girls Girls Girls”)

1966 [43] Gary Dourdan, Philadelphia PA, TV actor (“CSI” 2000-08)

1973 [36] Mos Def (Dante Smith), Brooklyn NY, movie actor (“Cadillac Records”, “The Italian Job”)/rapper (“Mathematics”)

Movie actor Bill Nighy (“Pirates Of the Caribbean”) is 60; Movie actress Jennifer Connelly (“A Beautiful Mind”) is 39.

Stage-movie actor Christopher Plummer (“Sound of Music”) is 80; Movie/TV actor Steve Buscemi (“Fargo”) is 52; Movie actor/singer Jamie Foxx (“Blame It”) is 42; Rock singer/guitarist Tom Delonge (Angels & Airwaves) is 34; TV actor James Kyson Lee (“Heroes”) is 34; Rock singer Amy Lee (Evanescence) is 28; Country singer Taylor Swift (“You Belong With Me”) is 20.

• “Chanukah” begins at sunset, the 8-day Jewish “Feast of Lights” celebration that’s accompanied by a rich set of traditional foods, games and rituals. Key to these traditions are gelt (gold-foil wrapped chocolate coins), latkes (potato pancakes), the menorah (9-pronged candle holder), and dreidels (spinning tops).
• “International Mountain Day”, a UN observance since 2002 to draw attention to the important roles that mountainous regions play in water and food supply.
• “International Shareware Day”, either something to do with public domain software or wearing your husband’s shirt.
• “Noodle Day”, celebrating everyone’s favorite long ‘n slippery food. Besides the versatile egg noodle, there are a gazillion types of pasta noodles including: Angel Hair, Fettuccine, Fusilli, Gnocchi, Lasagne, Macaroni, Manicotti, Penne, Rigatoni, Rotini, Spaghetti, Vermicelli, and Ziti.
• “Scaling Day” in Geneva, Switzerland, an annual celebration for over 400 years, since 1602. It’s when stores sell pot-shaped chocolate candies to represent the soup pots women used in medieval days to pour scalding water on any invaders attempting to ‘scale’ city walls. Charming.
• “UNICEF Birthday”, commemorating the 1946 establishment of the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund. (Giving future Hollywood stars something to do in their spare time.)

• “Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe”, one of Mexico’s major celebrations. The holiday has been observed since 1746 to honor the country’s patron saint, the ‘Dark Virgin of Guadalupe’ (also patron of Corona-with-lime). An estimated 10 million visit her basilica in Mexico City annually.
• “Poinsettia Day”, honoring Dr Joel Roberts Poinsett (1799-1851), the US diplomat who introduced us to the Central American plant named for him in 1828. It’s now a favorite holiday decoration; close to 60 million poinsettia plants are now grown in North America each year.

• “Geminid Meteor Shower”, which is being touted as the best meteor shower of 2009. NASA predicts it will peak Sunday night through Monday morning under ideal viewing conditions. The new Moon will keep skies dark for a display that could top 140 meteors per hour. The night sky will be rich with ‘shooting stars’ for many hours and perhaps even days around the peak.
• “St Lucy’s Day”, honoring her 304 AD birth. Legend has it that, in order to follow a life of religious devotion, she cut out her eyes and sent them on a plate to a persistent lover who was haunted by them (especially afterward!). On this day hotels in Sweden each feature their own ‘Lucia’, a young blond girl in white gown who serves guests coffee and ‘lussekatter’ (saffron buns) to celebrate.

1844 [165] 1st ‘Dental Anesthetic’, used by one Dr John Riggs (before that … mallet to the forehead)

2000 [09] 1st ‘Player/Owner’ in NHL history as Pittsburgh Penquins’ owner Mario Lemeiux announces he’s coming out of 3-plus-years of retirement to play again

2008 [01] Bernard Madoff is arrested & charged with securities fraud in a $50-billion Ponzi scheme

1937 [72] Toronto beats Winnipeg 4-3 in the Grey Gup game played latest in the year (perhaps the ball shattering on kickoff convinced officials December was too cold?)

1985 [24] Edmonton Oilers beat Chicago Blackhawks 12-9 to tie NHL record for goals in a game (21) and set record for most points (goals and assists) at 62

[Mon] “The Sing-Off” debuts (NBC)
[Tues] Cat Herders Day
[Wed] Re-Gifting Day
[Wed] Chocolate Covered Anything Day
[Thurs] Underdog Day
This Week Is … Human Rights Week
This Month Is … Stress-Free Family Holiday Month


• ‘How to Tell If Your Guy is Cheating’ – “Cosmopolitan”
• ‘Blog Your Way Skinny’ – “Woman’s Day”
• ‘The Perfect Smoky Eye’ – “Chatelaine”
• ‘Tone Your Tummy With This Ballet Move’ – “Glamour”
• ‘What Men Really Think About During Sex’ – “Redbook”

• ‘Are You a Good Kisser?’ – “Men’s Health”
• ‘How to Wear a Double-Breasted Suit’ –
• ‘The Athlete Mistress Hall of Shame’ – “Maxim”
• ‘How Not to Go Bald’ – “Details”
• ‘The Women Of the Tiger Woods Scandal’ – “FHM”


If you could have the attention of the whole world for 30 seconds, what would you say?


Today’s Question: The first animal crackers were not made to eat, they were made for THIS.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Christmas ornaments.


Avoid generalizations … they are NEVER valid.

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