December 16, 2009

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Wednesday, December 16, 2009        Edition: #4166
Time For Your Daily Bovine Colonic!

Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglourious Basterds” and the musical “Nine” are leading the film awards season charge with 10 nominations apiece from the Broadcast Film Critics Association . . . 30-year-old movie actress Kate Hudson (“Nine”) has reportedly split with NY Yankees baseball star Alex Rodriguez, after dating since the beginning of the year (now that the World Series is over, she no longer needs free tickets) . . . Ashley Dupre, the 24-year-old former call-girl who was involved in that scandal with former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer, has landed a weekly “Ask Ashley” advice column in the “NY Post” which will deal with sex & relationships, subjects she professes to be expert in (or maybe on) . . . 23-year-old actress Megan Fox (“Transformers”) & boyfriend Brian Austin Green have reportedly had a falling out over whose family they’ll spend Christmas with and may end up spending the holidays apart (sound like a familiar problem?) . . . The 2010 reincarnation of the “Lilith Fair” female artists festival is taking shape with co-founder Sarah MacLachlan onboard alongside Brandi Carlile, Colbie Caillat, Emmylou Harris, Erykah Badu, Indigo Girls, Mary J Blige, Miranda Lambert, Sheryl Crow, and Sugarland (no specific tour dates yet announced) . . . The newest members of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame will be ABBA, Genesis, Jimmy Cliff, the Hollies, and The Stooges (to be inducted in March) . . . 45-year-old wild-child Courtney Love has lost custody of her 17-year-old daughter Frances Bean as a court has appointed members of Kurt Cobain’s family guardians (gee, whatever could the problem be?) . . . British stupormodel Kate Moss has put down a deposit on a sprawling $32-million apartment in France so she can be closer to the Paris fashion scene (one become so bored with the Ritz, no?) . . . And the new baby son of model Gisele Bundchen & NFL quarterback Tom Brady (New England Patriots) is still nameless after 7 days because pop’s too busy playing football to sit down and help mom decide (hey, how about ‘Munchkin Bundchen’?).

• “The Hour” (CBC) – Matthew Good (“Vancouver”).
• “Jay Leno Show” (NBC/CityTV) – John Mayer (“Battle Studies”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Norah Jones (“The Fall”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Gossip (“Music For Men”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Raekwon (“Only Built 4 Cuban Linx, Pt 2”).
• “Late Show With David Letterman” (CBS) – Kris Allen (“Kris Allen”).
• “Lopez Tonight” (TBS) – Mariah Carey (“Memoirs Of an Imperfect Angel”).
• “So You Think You Can Dance” (FOX/CTV) – In the 2-hour 6th season finalé, Adam Lambert performs; Leona Lewis performs; the Groovaloos perform; then the winner is announced.
• “The View” (ABC/CTV) – Alicia Keys (“The Element of Freedom”). She says she ‘went crazy’ buying vintage keyboards before recording her new album and now an old Moog synthesizer has become her ‘special best friend’.

• Big & Rich – John & Joan Rich’s baby boy, due around New Year’s Day, will be named Cash … after Johnny. (Wait a sec … Cash Rich?)
• Leona Lewis – The man who punched her at a book signing in London has pleaded guilty to the attack and been ordered to remain in hospital under Britain’s Mental Health Act. (Next time, hon’ … “Run”!)
• Red Hot Chili Peppers – Guitarist John Frusciante has quit to concentrate on his solo career. He’s already been replaced by Josh Klinghoffer, who toured with the band alongside Frusciante in 2007. The group has recently reconvened after a 2-year hiatus.
• Rihanna – The 21-year-old says she’s posed in various stages of undress for the January issue of “GQ” magazine because she wants people to ‘move on’ from her beating via ex-boyfriend Chris Brown. (From boxing bag to sex object … is this an improvement?)
• Susan Boyle – Her record-breaking debut album, “I Dreamed a Dream”, has now sold more than 5 million units worldwide. (2009’s most unlikely star?)

A BS selection of movies in the making …
• “Creature From the Black Lagoon” – Universal Pictures is looking to shoot a remake of one of its most famous monster movies, the 1954 horror thriller about an undersea creature that terrorizes a scientific expedition. No cast is set as of yet but plans are to have the recycled sci-fi screamer ready to debut in 2011.
• “How I Spent My Summer Vacation” – Mel Gibson will star in this action drama based on a screenplay he wrote himself. The story centers on a career criminal who gets caught by Mexican authorities and is sent to a drug- and crime-filled prison, where he learns how to survive with the help of a 9-year-old boy.
• “Love Don’t Let Me Down” – In this upcoming drama, Garrett Hedlund plays a rising singer-songwriter who becomes involved with a fallen country singer (Gwyneth Paltrow). They embark on a career resurrection tour with her husband-manager (Tim McGraw) and a beauty queen-turned-singer (“Gossip Girl’s” Leighton Meester). Shooting begins in Nashville in January.
• “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies” – Natalie Portman will star in the movie version of the best-selling book that combines Jane Austen with the undead. Portman will play the feisty heroine who’s distracted from her quest to rid the world of zombies by the arrival of ‘Mr Darcy’. Hard to believe, but we’re not making this one up.
• “Sex & The City 2” – John Corbett, who played ‘Carrie Bradshaw’s lover, ‘Aidan’, opposite Sarah Jessica Parker in the hit TV show, will reportedly rejoin the cast for the upcoming sequel, due to debut next May. Corbett was spotted in Morocco around the same time scenes for the sequel were being filmed there. According to, he’ll have a big part which involves ‘an indiscretion’ with Parker’s character.


New terms leaking into the lingo …
• ‘Moneyfacing’ – Taking a photo while holding a creased banknote in front of someone’s face, so that part or all of the face on the bill is replaced by the subject’s.
• ‘No-motion’ – A job promotion that involves an increase in responsibilities without an increase in salary.
• ‘Recession Fat’ – Weight gain due to consumption of cheap, high-fat, high-sugar foods that are convenient rather than healthy. Another off-shoot of the economic downturn.


A new Danish study says looking young apparently means a longer life. Researchers have found that people who look younger than their actual age are far more likely to survive into old age. They’ve also found a possible biological explanation: people who look younger tend to have longer telomeres, a key DNA component that is linked to aging. People with shorter telomeres age faster. The study authors conclude that perceived age is therefore a good bio-marker that predicts survival among those over age 70. (Another reason to hate people who don’t look their age.)


• Franklin NJ – A 25-year-old man dressed up in his mother’s pink blouse, black coat and scarf, drove to her bank, and tried to convince tellers at a drive-thru window that he was his mom by speaking in a high-pitched voice. After he presented his mother’s driver’s license and a forged withdrawal slip, the tellers called the cops, who promptly busted him. (He’s charged with bad accessorizing.)
• Edmonton AB – University of Alberta professor Shauna Wilton says “Thomas the Tank Engine” is sexist because just 8 of the 49 characters in the book/TV series are female. She also condemns the class division in the stories which place ‘Thomas’ and his locomotive friends at the bottom of the social ladder and the wealthy ‘Fat Controller’ at the top. (And she’s also ‘steamed’ that female trains are often portrayed with a big caboose.)
• Melbourne, Australia – 28-year-old Aussie artist Polly van der Glas thinks she has the perfect holiday gift … jewelry made from teeth. You can literally give someone a smile with a knuckle ring fitted with 4 of your molars ($680) or a single incisor on a necklace ($400). The silversmith says she’s been collecting hair, teeth, and fingernails for years. (All I want for Christmas is …)

Seems marriage really is good for you, according to a new international study led by psychologist Kate Scott at New Zealand’s University of Otago. The study of close to 35,000 people in 15 countries has found that marriage actually reduces the risks of depression and anxiety. The bad news is, marriages that end through separation, divorce, or death are linked to an increased risk of mental health disorders, with women more likely to resort to substance abuse and men more likely to become depressed. (Remember all this next time you feel like screaming, “This marriage is killing me!”)

Experts say retailers are experiencing more theft than ever this holiday shopping season, thanks to the tough economic times we’ve endured over the past year. Some of the most shoplifted products …
• Department Stores: ‘Branded’ clothing such as Ralph Lauren, which is easiest to re-sell.
• Electronics Stores: Games, gaming software, and consoles such as the Wii.
• Hardware Stores: Easily re-sold power tools; expensive weed killers.
• Supermarkets/Drugstores: Meat; baby formula; over-the-counter medicines.


Japanese department store Sogo & Seibu is offering robots that are custom-made to look just like their purchasers. The life-size humanoids, made by robotic company Kokoro, can even speak with a real person’s (recorded) voice. Made of silicone, the robots are able to move their upper bodies, but there aren’t many other details about they can or cannot do. With a price of $225,000 apiece the retailer is wary of over-stocking, so only has 2 for sale. (Why would you want a mirror image of yourself? “Hey me, get me a cup of coffee.”)

A new ranking of the best hi-tech products, services & technologies of the 2000s so far …
10. Apple iMac
9. Windows XP
8. GPS
7. TiVo
6. Broadband Internet Access
5. Wi-Fi
4. Facebook
3. Apple iPod
2. Apple iPhone
1. Google

From a greenhouse gas perspective, real Christmas trees are ‘greener’. They’re usually grown on tree farms for harvesting, not in forests. They actively photosynthesize as they grow from saplings, which removes carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. After Christmas is over, they’re often chipped for mulch. So in the end, a real Christmas tree is carbon neutral. Artificial trees, on the other hand, are not. Petroleum is used to make the plastics in them and lots of carbon dioxide-creating energy is required to make and transport them. (They also smell like tin foil.)

• Eco-light bulbs are designed to be brightest at 77 F (25 C) and can get dimmer when cooler or hotter than that.
• eBay’s first-ever item sold was a broken laser pointer for $14.83.
• Late movie stars Douglas Fairbanks & Cary Grant were among the first to re-popularize pink as a color for men.
– “Magazine Monitor”


1941 [68] Lesley Stahl, Lynn MA, well-preserved TV journalist (“60 Minutes” since 1991)

1946 [63] Benny Andersson, Stockholm, Sweden, oldies singer (ABBA-“Mamma Mia”, “Dancing Queen”)

1949 [60] Billy Gibbons, Houston TX, classic rock guitarist/singer (ZZ Top-“Legs”, “Tush”)

1963 [46] Benjamin Bratt, San Francisco CA, TV actor (“The Cleaner” 2008-09, “Law & Order” 1990, 1995-99)/movie actor (“Che”, “Miss Congeniality”)

1975 [34] Benjamin Kowalewicz, Montréal QC, rock singer (Billy Talent-“Rusted From the Rain”, “Red Flag”)

• “Chocolate Covered Anything Day” … so fill up the tub!

• “Eat What You Want Day”, a day to actually enjoy what you eat without worrying about quotas and content. Go ahead, have another mug o’ gravy!


1905 [104] Show biz journal “Variety” debuts (still being published)

1971 [38] Don McLean releases 8-and-a-half minute single, “American Pie”, one of the longest songs to ever hit the pop chart

1949 [60] A Swedish fighter plane manufacturer begins producing autos that eventually carry the name ‘Saab’


1972 [37] Miami Dolphins become only team to go undefeated for an entire NFL regular season, and go on to win the Super Bowl (players from that team still gather to celebrate when the last undefeated team loses each season)

[Thurs] Re-Gifting Day
[Thurs] Underdog Day
[Fri] Islamic New Year
[Fri] International Migrants Day
[Fri] “Avatar”; “Did You Hear About the Morgans?” open in movie theaters
[Mon] Crossword Puzzle Day
[Mon] Winter Solstice
This Week Is … Drunk Drivers Awareness Week
This Month Is … Safe Toys & Gifts Month


• It was once owned by Paris Hilton.
• The product name has the word ‘carcass’ in it.
• Every Geiger counter within a 10-mile radius has begun to crackle.
• You found it buried in an ancient burial ground that’s rumored to be cursed.
• After opening it, your kid asks to be put up for adoption.
– Adapted from

• “Lord Of the Singhs”
• “Love In the Time of Call Centers”
• “Of Mice & Mehndi”
• “Bhangra the Drum Slowly”
• “The DaHindi Code”
• “Gandhi With the Wind”
– Thanks to Rupinder Gill.

Today’s Question: The average person has 17 of THESE now.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Passwords.


Sometimes the best purchase is the one you don’t make.

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