Wednesday, December 12, 2007        Edition: #3675
Here’s More Bull Roar!

68-year-old sometime actor George Hamilton is set to star in a new reality TV show called “Don’t Mind If I Do” in which he’ll be challenged to travel the world, attending events and partying … without spending a penny (it’s a free-for-all of freebies!) . . . 32-year-old soccer star David Beckham has signed a 3-year deal rumored to be worth some $20 million to be the ‘face’ of Armani underwear on billboards in major cities worldwide such as NY, LA, London, Milan, Rome, Paris, and Tokyo ([co-host] would have taken the gig just for the clean underwear) . . . “Desperate Housewives“ actress Felicity Huffman is the ambassador/spokesperson for a new cancer recurrence awareness campaign by the Entertainment Industry Foundation (one of the nice people in the biz who never gets noticed) . . . Pierce Brosnan has been hit with a lawsuit from the paparazzo who claims the movie star beat him up outside a restaurant earlier THIS YEAR (he’s just embarrassed he got hammered by a 54-year-old) . . . A new survey finds that 41% of TV viewers support the ongoing Hollywood writers’ strike (right, ask again in JANUARY when something like “Celebrity Bowling” will be the #1 show) . . . And daytime TV host Ellen DeGeneres is teaming up with former Meow Mix CEO Richard Thompson to refurbish ailing animal shelters across America, the first being a 60-animal sanctuary in Monkey Run, Arkansas that’s home to 3-legged, blind and/or deaf dogs (doesn’t that just make you wanna cry, Ellen?).

• Britney Spears – She’s giving fans the opportunity to create their own videos for her new single “Piece of Me”. Winning results will be shown on MTV DECEMBER 20th.
• Darryl Worley – The “Awful, Beautiful Life” singer is among entertainers currently on the USO’s 14-day “Hope & Freedom Holiday Tour” of the Persian Gulf. They’re performing shows for US military personnel in 3 countries. Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders are also aboard. Poor Darryl!
• Madonna – Photos of her leaving a NYC medical building with 2 black eyes have sparked rumors she’s had a facelift. We’re guessing either that or she’s joined a fight club.
• Radiohead – They’re in talks to release “In Rainbows” via iTunes. It would be the first time they’ve allowed a studio album to be downloaded at Apple’s music store. Meantime, “In Rainbows” tops a new “Rolling Stone“ poll for ‘Best Release of 2007′, just ahead of Arcade Fire’s “Neon Bible”.
• Rihanna – The 19-year-old has been forced to cancel at least 3 UK gigs on the advice of her doctor, who wants her to slow down for a few days. In other words, “Shut Up and Rest”.
• 3 Doors Down – Their 4th annual “Better Life Foundation Concert” at the Hard Rock Casino in Biloxi MS has raised over $200,000 to benefit children’s charities. Also participating: Sara Evans and Big Kenny (of Big & Rich).

• Feist – The “1234” singer performs on the “Today Show” (NBC).
• Frank Sinatra – US Postal Service unveils the picture to be used on a commemorative stamp honoring ‘Old Blue Eyes’ that will be released NEXT YEAR. He was born on this date in 1915.
• John Mellencamp – He’s being presented the 2007 “ASCAP Foundation Champion Award” for music in the service of humanity. It honors his work as a “Farm Aid” organizer since 1985.
• Kings Of Leon – They’re the musical guests on a rerun of the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC).
• Sara Evans – The “As If” country singer guests on “The View” (ABC/CTV). Her next single will be “Some Things Never Change”.

“The Perfect Holiday“ ( PG Family Comedy ):  Queen Latifah narrates this story of a young girl who turns to a department store Santa for assistance in finding a new husband for her divorced mom. Stars Gabrielle Union, Morris Chestnut, and Terrence Howard.

New cutting-edge vocab …
• ‘Deja Foo’ – A mistake you’ve already made before. (“I can’t believe Carol got married for the 4th time. Talk about deja foo!”)
• ‘Furnidents’ – Those indentations in carpets that are revealed after a piece of furniture has been moved. (“After we pushed the sofa over to make room for the Christmas tree, you could see furnidents all over the place!”)
• ‘Wrap Rage’ – The result of battling impenetrable packaging. Stats show that hard-to-open containers cause some 60,000 injuries a year, more than skateboards or swimming pools. (“Aunt Blanche purposely uses an entire roll of tape on each Christmas gift. She likes to watch the wrap rage.”)

Following the so-called ‘Mediterranean diet’ can help you live longer, according to a major new study of the lifestyle habits of some 40,000 people over a 5-year period. Eating plenty of fruit & vegetables, fish instead of meat, and olive oil instead of saturated fats, has long been accepted as being good for you. The new study confirms that, finding that the closer participants stuck to that diet, the lower their likelihood of death. (“Drink your olive oil, kids, or there’s no flounder for dessert!”)
– “The Guardian”

Researchers at the University of Alberta have created a poker-playing program that very nearly defeated 2 professional poker players in a recent ‘Man vs Machine’ tournament. Analysts warn that software such as this will take over the online gaming world  in the near future and gambling online will become a suckers game that will virtually become impossible for a human to win. Even the pro players admit that ‘the bots are closing in’. (“Ante up, fragile lifeform.”)
– “Freakonomics”

Occasional “BS” contributor Robyn Bentley, aka the ‘Feng Shui Diva’, offers the following tips on how to have more joy and less stress for the holidays …
• Tap into your happy childhood. Go through old photos of when you were a carefree kid excited about the holidays. Use a copier to enlarge them as mini-posters for decoration.
• Watch the clutter. If you have to step over it, duck under it, or squeeze by it, it’s going to add more stress to your holiday.
• Chuck the negative stuff.  Everything inside your home has a memory, association or meaning attached to it. Don’t put up any decorations that make you have negative feelings.
• If the holidays start getting to you, take an adult ‘time out’ and go limp like a rag doll. Relax your body without tensing a single muscle. Breath deeply for a few minutes to get yourself back to normal.
• Don’t sleep with a light on, or TV, or with a streetlight coming through your window. Or your neighbors holiday light display. To help you get enough sleep, make sure you sleep in the dark.
PHONER: 804.241.1685

South Korea has opened the world’s first Internet rehab boot camp for teens suffering from cyberspace addiction. The ‘Jump Up Internet Rescue School’ combines military-style training by drill instructors with therapy from counselors in order to break the hold of Internet addiction in young men. South Korea already boasts a network of 140 Internet-addiction counseling centers and has related treatment centers in almost 100 hospitals.
– ”NY Times”

‘Tis the season of heavy drinking and unintended consequences so it’s the perfect time to report more inane research on the effect of booze on your sex life. Get ready for a shocker: according to a study published in the journal “Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research” the more often a person gets drunk, the more sex partners he or she will have. (Is that some kind of endorsement?)

5. “Rock Star” (2001), starring Mark Wahlberg. He’s okay … the faux metal music ain’t.
4. “Meeting People Is Easy” (1998), a bleak and hallucinatory Radiohead documentary.
3. “Everyone Stares: The Police Inside Out” (2006), Stewart Copeland’s cobbled-together pastiche of his Police-era video footage.
2. “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band” (1978), starring the Bee Gees, Peter Frampton, and Steve Martin. Narrated by the late George Burns. The Beatles should have sued.
1. “U2: Rattle and Hum” (1988), a self-serious documentary following the Irish band’s first travels in America, including a day trip to Graceland.
– “Blender Magazine”

If you don’t want to raise future felons, these are the games you should keep your kids away from, according to Michigan prosecutor Kym Worthy …
5. “300: The Video Game” … invites game room gladiators to slice their way through the Persian army.
4. “50 Cent: Bulletproof” … corruption, double crosses, and shady deals in the drug underworld.
3. “Scarface” … involves buying and selling drugs, and killing hundreds of people.
2. “Manhunt” … revolves around the making of a snuff film.
1. “Grand Theft Auto” … allows players to act out crimes and then rewards them for doing so.
– Detroit News

If you simply must write one of those annual epistles that are sent out to family, friends, and random acquaintances, at least have the courtesy to follow a few pointers from a letter-writing consultant …
• Avoid sending letters that are too long, too boastful, and include too much information.
• Be brief, be humble, and be sensitive to the fact that others may have had a crummy year. They don’t need page after page of how great yours was.
• Don’t even consider your life warrants more than a page. It’s recommended that holiday letters be limited to no more than 10 sentences.
– “ Chicago Tribune”


1923 [84] Bob Barker, Darrington WA, retired TV game show host (“The Price is Right” 1972-2006, “Truth or Consequences” 1956-1974)

1970 [37] Jennifer Connelly, Catskill Mountains NY, movie actress (“Blood Diamond”, “A Beautiful Mind”)  COMING UP: “He’s Just Not That Into You” (2008).

1977 [30] Bridget Hall, Springdale AR, fashion model (“Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show”) who’s appeared on more than 200 fashion magazine covers

• “Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe”, one of Mexico’s major celebrations. The holiday has been observed since 1746 to honor the country’s patron saint, the ‘Dark Virgin of Guadalupe’ (and patron saint of Corona-with-lime). An estimated 10 million visit her basilica in Mexico City annually.

• “Ding-a-Ling Day”, to remind us that ‘ding-a-lings’ are wonderful, friendly, loving and desirable (but sooo dumb!).

• “Poinsettia Day”, honoring Dr Joel Roberts Poinsett (1799-1851), the American diplomat who introduced us to the Central American plant named for him in 1828. It’s now a favorite decoration during the holiday season. In fact, close to 60 million poinsettias are now grown in North America each year.

2002 [05] Movie actor Nick Nolte pleads no contest to drugs DUI in Malibu CA and is sentenced to 3 years’ probation (his wild-haired mug shot has become an online classic)

2003 [04] Rolling Stones’ frontman (Sir) Mick Jagger is knighted at Buckingham Palace

1899 [108] 1st ‘Golf Tee’ patented by George Grant of Boston (1st time he uses it, he forgets to pick it up and loses it)

1925 [82] 1st ‘Motel’ opens, the Milestone Mo-Tel in San Luis Obispo CA (‘Mr & Mrs John Smith’ are 1st to check in)

1946 [61] ‘Tide’ detergent is 1st marketed (why does it cost so much more?)

2000 [07] US Supreme Court stops Florida vote recount, giving George W Bush the presidency over Al Gore

1919 [88] Record ‘cold snap’ in Vancouver as temperature drops to -23 C and Fraser River freezes completely over so cars are able to drive across

1981 [26] Wayne Gretzky scores NHL’s quickest 50 goals (in just 39 games)

1976 [31] Last NFL team to go ‘winless’ for an entire season as Tampa Bay Buccaneers go 0-14 (c’mon Dolphins, you can tie the record this week!)

[Fri] Bouillabaisse Day
[Fri] “Alvin and the Chipmunks”; “I Am Legend”; “The Kite Runner” open in movie theaters
[Sat] US Bill of Rights Day
[Sun] Chocolate Covered Anything Day
[Sun] Las Posadas begins (Mexico)
[Mon] Maple Syrup Day
[Tues] Bake Cookies Day
This Week Is … Human Rights Week
This Month Is … Safe Toys & Gifts Month


Any “Grey’s Anatomy” fan has heard of ‘pica’, the abnormal craving for substances that are not fit to eat. You may have even heard about compulsive people who’ve swallow a safety pin, a car key, maybe even some loose change. But these folks took swallowing things overboard …
• Batteries. (USA)
• A bicycle. (France)
• Magnetic building blocks. (USA)
• A 10-lb hairball. (USA)
• Live frogs & rats. (China)
• 20 cobblestones. (China)

The nice thing about living up to standards is that there are so many different ones to choose from.

Some of these are actual products, some are made up. Ask your contestant to find the fakes …
• ‘The F Word Dictionary’ [REAL]
• ‘Pin the Tail on Grampa’ [FAKE]
• ‘The Fig Leaf Bathing Suit’ [REAL]
• ‘2008 Monthly Doos Dog Poop Calendar’ [REAL]
• ‘The Amateur Veterinarian Home Neutering Kit’ [FAKE]
• ‘Inflatable Moosehead Wall Trophy’ [REAL]
• ‘The Edible Pencil’ [REAL]
• ‘Fisher Price Bathtub Toaster’ [FAKE]
• ‘Ouch! The Step-On-a-Rake Game’ [FAKE]
• ‘Farting Santa’ [REAL]

What’s the one holiday tradition you could live without?

Today’s Question: If you or your spouse do THIS, it’s likely your child will also do it by age 1.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Snore.

The overworked should remember the out-of-work.

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