Thursday, December 21, 2006        Edition: #3435
Jingle Bull … Jingle Bull …

BS SHOW BIZ BUZZ:
Hollywood is abuzz over a reported hook-up between Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Federline in a NYC bar, with snitches claiming they left together (give your head a shake, girl!) . . . The producers of “American Idol” are promising the show’s upcoming 6th instalment will include a ‘big-event show’ in the middle of the season, but are refusing to say what it involves . . . “American Idol” judge Simon Cowell is next turning his attention to movie-making, hoping to get his first film project into production NEXT YEAR, but he won’t reveal any details . . . “Amazing Race 4” winner Reichen Lehmkuhl has refuted reports he’s split with ex-*NSYNC singer Lance Bass, stating simply on his MySpace blog, “I have not broken up with my boyfriend” . . . Rumors persist that 48-year-old actress Sharon Stone (some of her parts older than others) and 42-year-old actor Christian Slater are an item and spending the holidays together even though her PR flak claims they met on the set of the movie “Bobby” and attended 2 premieres together, but there’s nothing else going on . . . Madonna will follow in hubby Guy Ritchie’s footsteps and direct a movie, “Blade to the Heat”, based on 1960s boxer Emile Griffith and his rival Benny ‘Kid’ Paret, who died after a bout . . . Tom Cruise is planning to make a Scientology-based movie called “The Thetan” (pronounced ‘THAY-ten’) reportedly with pal Victoria Beckham starring as an alien bride (we can only hope it’s as successful as fellow L Ron Hubbard hawker John Travolta’s “Battlestar Earth”) . . . After hanging out a lot recently with TomKat, 37-year-old Jennifer Lopez has reportedly gotten the word from her mom, Lupe, that she should stay away from Scientology because it could damage her reputation . . . Ticketmaster reports the ‘Most Requested Concerts’ of 2006 were Jimmy Buffett, McGraw/Hill’s “Soul 2 Soul II” tour, and the Dave Matthews Band (a ranking of ticket requests not sales) . . . And the digital revolution is apparently almost complete – new Nielsen Media Research stats show that, for the first time, more homes now have DVD players (81%) than VCR players (79%), meaning all those boring family movies your dad shot on his old Sony camcorder are now lost to posterity (hurray!).

BS MUSIC NOTES:
• Beyoncé – She says she’s enjoying putting the 20 lbs back on that she lost for her role in “Dreamgirls” and promises she’ll get ‘more junk in her trunk’ over the holiday season.
• Black Eyed Peas – Will.i.am confirms the group’s next album is almost finished, but it won’t be released until this time NEXT YEAR.
• Gnarls Barkley – TONIGHT they’re on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC).
• Gwen Stefani – She’s headlining “MTV Goes Gold: New Year’s Eve 2007” which will also feature AFI, Chamillionaire , Ciara, Nas, and the Pussycat Dolls ringing in the New Year in NYC’s Times Square.
• The Killers – TONIGHT they perform on the “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel).
• Kylie Minogue – She’s playing a concert on New Year’s Eve at London’s Wembley Arena, which will feature a specially constructed dance floor for 3,500. Tickets run circa $130 a pop.
• Nas – TONIGHT he guests on “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC).
• Pink – She used the occasion of a concert in Paris, France to screen a shocking PETA video exposé of the wool industry. She’s calling for an international boycott of Australian wool until the industry ends what PETA refers to as ‘mutilation of lambs’ and ‘cruel live sheep exports’.

COMING ATTRACTIONS:
A selection of movies in the making …
• “Adam Resurrected” – Jeff Goldblum will star in this WW2 Holocaust drama as a former circus clown who’s spared from the gas chamber so he can entertain concentration camp Jews. Willem Dafoe co-stars as the Nazi officer whose life he saves. Based on the acclaimed novel by Yoram Kaniuk. Production begins in Germany, Romania and Israel next APRIL.
• “Happiness Sold Separately” – Julia Roberts has signed on to produce and possibly star in this drama based on the novel by Lolly Winston. The story centers on a woman who withdraws from her husband into a world of heartbreak and anger after she discovers that he’s had an affair.
• “Live Free or Die Hard” – In this 4th installment of the “Die Hard” franchise, actor Timothy Olyphant (“Deadwood” 2004-06) will play the nemesis to Bruce Willis’ hard-boiled hero. The story centers around cyber-terrorism, with ‘John McClane’ battling a debilitating attack on America’s computer infrastructure. The action flick is slated for a JULY 4, 2007 release.
• “Peter Pan in Scarlet” – Author Geraldine McCaughrean’s official sequel to JM Barrie’s classic children’s story “Peter Pan” is going to be developed for the bigscreen. The idea has just been approved by the Great Ormond Street Hospital Chrildren’s Charity, the hospital to which Barrie gifted the copyright.

WEIRD SCIENCE:
A BS compendium of recent ‘discoveries’ …
• Australian scientists have found that the so-called ‘new car smell’ that we all know and love may actually contain high levels of toxic air emissions with the potential to make new car owners sick. Especially when they have to make payments?
• Researchers at the Montréal Neurological Institute have scanned musicians’ brains and found that the ‘chills’ that they feel when they hear stirring passages of music result from activity in the same parts of the brain stimulated by food and sex. Is this called the ‘Groupie Syndrome’?
• A team of scientists at the University of Florida has measured the pitch, speed, articulation and volume of young adults … when they’re drunk. They’ve found significant changes in speech patterns even at alcohol levels below the legal limit for driving. Most develop slow, high-pitched speech, but 1 in 5 drunks actually lower their voices. All radio people by any chance?

TOP GROSSING MOVIES OF 2006:
Ranked by worldwide box office …
5. “X-Men: The Last Stand” ($459 million)
4. “Cars” ($462 million)
3. “Ice Age: The Meltdown” ($647 million)
2. “The Da Vinci Code” ($757 million)
1. “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest” ($1.065 billion)
– “Box Office Mojo”

TIME REALLY IS MONEY:
You know what you make in a year, but what are you making in real time? ‘The Salary Clock’  Website keeps a running total of how much you’ve made as each second passes. You can also choose from famous folks who bring in the big bucks and see what their ‘real time’ earnings are. Apple Computer’s Steve Jobs, for example, is pulling in about $13.02 … every second! Try plugging in music artists and calculating how much money they make while you play their songs.
NET: http://www.salaryclock.com

BS SEASONAL SUPERSTITIONS AROUND-THE-WORD:
• In Ireland, it is believed the gates of Heaven open at midnight on Christmas Eve and those who die go straight on through the pearly gates.
• In Greece, some people burn their old shoes during the Christmas season to prevent misfortunes in the coming year.
• In the Swedish countryside, from rooster-crow to daybreak on Christmas morning it’s believed the trolls (wicked elves) roam about.
• In Devonshire, England, a girl raps at the henhouse door on Christmas Eve. If a rooster crows, she will marry within the year.
• In Germany, a blindfolded goose will touch first the girl in the circle who will wed first.

STEPS TO FITNESS:
This may be the simplest measure of physical fitness so far. Several exercise experts have now tagged the threshold for being in shape as taking 10,000 footsteps a day – whether they are run, jogged or simply walked. Seems us sedentary slobs only average 3,000 per day. (Just 9 more days until we resolve to do this … for about a week.)
– Reuters.

BS AMAZING FACTS:
• Approximately 5,000 different languages are spoken on Earth.
• No one knows exactly where Mozart is buried.
• The world’s smallest motorcycle weighs 2.4 lbs.
• Pirates thought that wearing an earring would improve their eyesight.
• Currently the most popular baby boy name in Amsterdam, Holland and in all of Belgium is ‘Mohammed’.
• Assuming ‘Rudolph’ is in front, there are 40,320 different ways to arrange the other 8 reindeer.
– AskMen.com

AND WE QUOTE:
“Can you imagine what sort of team the Vatican would have if we got all the Brazilian priests involved? It would be magnificent!”
– The Pope’s soccer-mad secretary Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone on the possibility of the Vatican fielding it’s own team.

THE BULL SHEET 12.21.06

TODAY’S CELEBIRTHDAYS . . .
1937 [69] Jane Fonda, NYC, movie actress (“Monster-in-Law”)/2 Academy Awards (Coming Home [1978], Klute [1971])/ex-Mrs Ted Turner 1991-2001

1948 [58] Samuel L Jackson, Washington DC, movie actor (“Snakes on a Plane”, “Coach Carter”)

1955 [51] Jane Kaczmarek, Milwaukee WI, TV actress (“Help Me Help You”, “Malcolm in the Middle” 2000-06)/Mrs Bradley Whitford (“Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip”) since 1992

1957 [49] Ray Romano, Queens NY, TV sitcom actor (“Everybody Loves Raymond” 1996-2005)/movie actor (“Ice Age: The Meltdown”)

1965 [41] Andy Dick, Charleston SC, pseudo-comedian/TV actor (‘Owen Kronsky’-“Less Than Perfect”)/sometime movie actor (“Employee of the Month”)

1966 [40] Kiefer Sutherland, London UK, TV actor (‘Jack Bauer’ on “24” since 2001)/movie actor (“The Sentinel”, “A Few Good Men”)/actor Donald Sutherland’s son/grandson former Saskatchewan premier and 1st federal NDP leader Tommy Douglas

1968 [38] Brad Warren, Tampa FL, country singer (Warren Bros-“She Wants to Rock”, “Better Man”)

1976 [30] Lukas Rossi, Toronto ON, rock singer (“Rock Star: Supernova”)

TODAY’S BS REASONS TO PARTY . . .
• “Christmas Revels”, a fast-growing modern observance that includes a theatrical celebration of the solstice with traditional dance, carols and plays.

• “Flashlight Day” and “Look At The Bright Side Day”, tongue-in-cheek commemorations of the year’s longest night.

• “Humbug Day”, when 12 ‘humbugs’ are allowed to be uttered in order to vent the frustrations of preparing for the holidays.

• “Mumping Day” in England, traditionally when the poor go house-to-house begging for food.

• “Yule” in the Wicca religion, marking the death of the Sun-God and his rebirth from the Earth Goddess (the origin of the ‘Yule Log’).

THIS DAY IN SHOW BIZ . . .
1937 [69] Disney’s “Snow White & the Seven Dwarfs” premieres, the first full-length animated movie

1985 [21] ‘Bugs Bunny’ is awarded a star on the “Hollywood Walk of Fame”

TODAY’S FIRSTS . . .
1891 [115] Springfield MA YMCA instructor James Naismith invents ‘Basketball’ using 18 players, a soccer ball and 2 peach baskets (born Almonte ON)

1913 [93] 1st ‘Crossword Puzzle’, printed in “New York World” (Arthur Wynne devises what he calls a ‘Word-Cross’ for the Christmas edition, having no idea he would be starting a worldwide craze)

AND REMEMBER . . .
[Fri] Solstice Synchronized Global Orgasm for World Peace
[Fri] Winter begins (7:22 pm EST)
[Fri] Abilities Day
[Fri] “Night at the Museum”; “The Good Shepherd”; “We Are Marshall” open in movie theaters
[Sun] Christmas Eve
[Sun] Egg Nog Day
[Mon] Christmas Day
[Mon] “Dreamgirls”; “Black Christmas” open in movie theaters
This Week Is … Halcyon Days
This Month Is … Stress-Free Family Holidays Month

BULL’S BITS

BS WAYS YOU CAN TELL IT’S ALMOST CHRISTMAS:
• Mall decorations are now covered in a thick layer of dust.
• Your husband finally asks, “So what would you like for Christmas?”
• Your ‘natural’ tree is already a lovely shade of brown.
• You call the kids to dinner and hear their muffled screams coming from boxes you wrapped in the afternoon.
• Shoplifters at the mall have to wait in line to steal something.
• Bank machine keeps saying, “The requested cash withdrawal exceeds your account limit.”
• Christmas songs keep playing in your head … AND YOU JUST CAN’T STOP THEM!

BS PHONE STARTERS:
• What unusual job has you stuck working Christmas Day?
• At what age does ‘old age’ begin? (Interestingly, 35 years ago in a 1972 “Self” magazine poll, most people said old age begins at … 50.)

BS CHRISTMAS QUIZ:
Q: In what country do children put straw out for camels and leave their shoes on balconies to be filled with toys JANUARY 6th?
A: The children of Mexico expect a visit from Los Tres Reyes (The Three Kings) who bring gifts riding camel-back.

Q: Why are red and green the traditional colors of Christmas?
A: No one knows for sure, but it could be because it’s the color of holly. Or maybe cuz money is green and you’re left in the red?

BS SEASONAL TABLOID HEADLINES:
• “Two-Headed Alien Baby Raised by Reindeer!”
• “Rosie O’Donnell Reveals Her All Shortbread Diet!”
• “Rudolph Checks Into Betty Ford Clinic saying, I Wasn’t Born With a Red Nose!”
• “Santa Speaks Out: I’ve Been Giving For Years … Now It’s Payback Time!”

BS RANDOM JOKES:
• Hair styling for today’s program was provided by the wind.
• They’ve had to cancel Christmas again in [local hicktown] because they can’t find 3 wise men and a virgin.

BS WATER COOLER QUESTION:
Today’s Question: Experts say that for THIS to be effective, it must last at least 6 seconds.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: A hug.

BS DEEP THOUGHT:
A promise is a debt.


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