Friday, December 10, 2010        Edition: #4405
Jingle Bull … Jingle Bull …

The arrival of moving vans & security guards has fueled rumors that Nicole Richie will finally wed fiancé Joel Madden (Good Charlotte) at the Hollywood estate of her father Lionel Richie this weekend (the 4-year couple already has 2 children together) . . . On the Barbara Walters special last night, Oprah Winfrey once again asserted that she is not a lesbian (as if she has time!) . . . MTV says it plans to put “Jersey Shore” star Snooki Polizzi inside the ball that will drop in NYC’s Times Square to ring in 2011 as part of its “MTV New Year’s Bash” special (cut the rope, somebody please cut the rope!) . . . Meantime, Snooki’s co-star Ronnie Ortiz-Magro is celebrating his 25th birthday at Jet nightclub in Las Vegas this Saturday, and he’s already put down $11,000 to cover the bar tab (pretty much guaranteeing another slobbery argument with on & off girlfriend Sammi) . . . Lindsay Lohan’s whack-job dad Michael has a new job as a ‘rehab consultant’ for Recovery Hub in LA, matching up recovering addicts with a rehab center that best meets their needs (most ironic gig ever?) . . . And now that it’s been revealed her clothing & accessories line will gross close to $1 billion this year, famous person Jessica Simpson is all over getting a pre-nup before marrying her former NFL player-fiancé Eric Johnson (he’s said to be supportive of it – or at least was before he ran out the door).

• Australian Film Institute Awards (Melbourne) – Clive Owen, Naomi Watts, and Sam Worthington lead the acting nominations at the annual AFI Awards gala tonight & tomorrow night. The movie “Animal Kingdom” tops overall nominations with a record 18 nods.
• “George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight” (CBC) – Tonight musician/producer Daniel Lanois (U2); Temper Trap (“Conditions”).
• “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (ABC/CityTV) – Tonight Nicki Minaj (“Pink Friday”).
• “Last Call With Carson Daly” (NBC) – Tonight Delta Spirit (“Waits Room”).
• “Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” (CBS) – Tonight Nellie McKay (“Home Sweet Mobile Home”).
• “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Maroon 5 (“Hands All Over”).
• Nobel Peace Prize Concert (Oslo) – Saturday actor Denzel Washington hosts a celebratory concert featuring Colbie Caillat, Elvis Costello, Florence & The Machine, and Herbie Hancock.
• “Saturday Night Live” (NBC/Global) – Host Paul Rudd (“How Do You Know”); musical guest Paul McCartney.
• “Tonight Show With Jay Leno” (NBC/A Channel) – Tonight Matthew Morrison (“Glee”); “American Idol” runner-up Crystal Bowersox (“Farmer’s Daughter”).

• Avril Lavigne – She’ll debut the single “What The Hell” from her upcoming album “Goodbye Lullaby” (out March 8th) during her performance on “Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve” (ABC).
• Blake Shelton – He tells “People” he’s letting Miranda Lambert plan their wedding to her heart’s desire. Quote: “Last I heard it was in the Spring, but that’s a constantly changing event. Miranda is going to do this exactly how she wants to do it and I’m staying the hell out of the way.” (Guess we know who’s wearing the pants in this family.)
• Bob Dylan – Today his ‘dog-eared, smudged & discolored’ handwritten lyrics to “The Times There Are A-Changin” go under the hammer in NYC. Auction house Sotheby’s predicts they could fetch as much as $300,000.
• Christina Aguilera – Her reps are vowing to ‘aggressively pursue’ whoever’s responsible for leaking nearly-nude photos of her online this week. (Best to start with her PR people.)
• Eric Clapton – The 65-year-old guitar legend has announced a 2011 world tour, kicking of in Singapore on February 14th. He’ll play a handful of North American dates in February-March.
• Katy Perry – She tells Ellen DeGeneres she’s considering taking on the surname of new hubby Russell Brand, making her Mrs Katy Brand. (The many handlers who’ve spent time and money making her a household name will have something to say about this!)
• Martina McBride – Tonight she headlines the Nashville Symphony’s annual “Home For the Holidays” concert, singing a mix of holiday standards.
• Miranda Lambert – Tonight she plays the Palms Casino & Resort in Las Vegas, with Eric Church as opening act.
• Susan Boyle – “The Gift” has returned for its 3rd non-consecutive week atop the album chart, while Black Eyed Peas’ “The Beginning” debuts at #6, according to Nielsen SoundScan.
• TI – The imprisoned rapper has posted a message on his website promising fans that he’ll make better decisions when he gets out of jail the next time. Quote: “The longer I sit, the smarter I get.” He’s featured in tonight’s episode of “Storytellers” on VH1.

• “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage Of the Dawn Treader” ( PG Fantasy Adventure ): In this 3rd installment, the ‘Pevensies’ return to Narnia with their cousin, where they meet up with ‘Prince Caspian’ for a trip across the sea aboard the ship ‘Dawn Treader’. Along the way they encounter dragons, dwarves, merpeople, and a band of lost warriors. Stars Ben Barnes, Skandar Keynes, Georgie Henley.
• “The Tempest” ( PG-13 Drama ): “Across the Universe” director Julie Taymor’s version of the Shakespeare play features Helen Mirren as ‘Prospera’, the Duchess of Milan who is exiled to a remote island with her young daughter (Felicity Jones). Asserting influence over the island, she develops a new enemy: ‘Caliban’ (Djimon Hounsou), a slave who looks to raise a rebellion against his foe.
• “The Tourist” ( PG-13 Thriller ): Johnny Depp & Angelina Jolie star in the story of an American tourist who travels to Venice to recover from a recent break-up, only to become involved with a mysterious woman who just happens to be an Interpol agent with a dangerous connection to a fugitive criminal. Co-stars Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton. A remake of the 2005 French film “Anthony Zimmer”.

Entrepreneur Michael Reich has been collecting the rights to extinct brand names and trademarks for years, and this week in NYC he put 170 of them up for auction. His collection includes long-gone food brands (Lucky Whip), magazines (“Collier’s”), household products (Handi Wrap), personal care items (Rapid Shave), and clothing (Hot Pants). He’s banking on the idea that any brand that still exists in the public consciousness is worth reviving, either by bringing back the old product or introducing a new one tagged with the old, familiar name. A listing of all the brands here …

According to “Rolling Stone” magazine, these are the best of the year …
5. Jamey Johnson, “The Guitar Song”.
4. Arcade Fire, “The Suburbs”.
3. Elton John & Leon Russell, “The Union”.
2. The Black Keys, “Brothers”.
1. Kanye West, “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”.
All 30 are listed here …

Britain has arguably become the CCTV (Closed-Circuit Television) capital of the world, with over a half-million surveillance cameras in London alone. And now many of them are being monitored by volunteers thousands of miles away. More than 1,600 people, including French and Italians, are helping to identify shoplifters in major retail outlets in return for cash rewards. The armchair snitches watch live feeds online and are awarded points each time they flag suspicious incidents with a click of their mouse. The highest scorer each month wins a prize of up to £1,000 ($1,600). Viewers who repeatedly trigger false alarms are barred from the website. (“Put your hands up! Jean-Francois in Marseilles has just witnessed you stealing a zucchini.”)
– “Times of London”

Tips on how to simplify your daily routine for a more stress-free you …
• Go for groceries on the less busy shopping days of the week, ideally Monday or Tuesday mornings or evenings.
• Work out in the morning. Experts say it’s the ideal time to get your heart rate up.
• At work or home, do the unpleasant tasks first. It’ll make the rest of your day a cakewalk.
• Make breakfast your biggest meal of the day and dinner your smallest. Morning is when you need the extra ‘oomph’.
• Designate time midday to check and respond to emails, rather than first thing in the morning.
• If weeknight dinners stress you out, try prepping dinners for the week on Sunday.
• Start your workday the night before by choosing your outfit, getting bags packed, and having lunches made.
– Excerpted from “Woman’s Day”

• Toboggans were originally used by Cree natives in Canada for transportation.
• 42.5% of the 230,000 sledding related injuries reported between 1997-2007 happened to children aged of 10-to-14, per the Center on Injury Research & Policy.
• In Braunlage, Germany last year, 14,000 turned out for a 100-meter sled race between men and women … who were topless.
– Condensed from “Toilet Paper”


1960 [50] Kenneth Branagh, Belfast, Northern Ireland, movie actor (“Harry Potter & The Chamber of Secrets”, “Henry V”)/movie director (“Thor” [2011], “Sleuth”)/screenwriter (“Hamlet”)

1964 [46] Bobby Flay, NYC, TV chef (8 different Food Network programs)

1974 [36] Meg White, Grosse Pointe Farms MI, rock drummer (White Stripes-“Icky Thump”, “Seven Nation Army”)  BS FACTOID: In the early 1990s, she met musician/songwriter Jack Gillis while working as a bartender in Royal Oak MI. They were reportedly married on September 21, 1996 when, in his characteristically unorthodox fashion, he took her last name.

Pop singer Brenda Lee (“Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”) is 66; Rock bassist Nikki Sixx (Motley Crue) is 52; Movie actress-comedian Mo’Nique (“Precious”) is 43; Rapper-actor Mos Def (“Cadillac Records”) is 37.

Movie actor Bill Nighy (“Pirates Of the Caribbean” films) is 61; Movie actress Jennifer Connelly (“A Beautiful Mind”) is 40.

• “Dewey Decimal Day”, honoring Melville Dewey who was born December 10, 1851 in Adams Center NY. When he was just 21, he invented the ‘Dewey Decimal Classification (DDC) System’ while working as a student assistant in the Amherst College library. For creating this revolutionary new filing system, he’s known as the ‘Father of Modern Librarianship’.
• “Festival of Whirling Dervishes” in Konya, Turkey. Traditionally-dressed male dancers present their ‘sena’ or whirling ceremony when they spin in tight circles to achieve mystical union with heaven. This dizzy week-long custom goes back over 700 years.
• “International Human Rights Day”, honoring the UN Declaration of Human Rights in 1948.
• “International Shareware Day”, celebrating public domain software that allows you to try before you buy.
• “Nobel Prize Awards Day”. The awards were established by the will of Swedish chemist and dynamite inventor Alfred Nobel and have been held on this date since 1901. The current value of each award is over $1 million.

• “International Mountain Day”, a UN observance since 2002 to draw attention to the important roles that mountainous regions play in water and food supply.
• “National Day Of the Horse”, established in 2004 to encourage Americans to be mindful of the contribution of horses to the economy, history, and character of the United States.
• “Noodle Day”, celebrating everyone’s favorite long ‘n slippery food. Besides the versatile egg noodle, there are a gazillion types of pasta noodles including: Angel Hair, Fettuccine, Fusilli, Gnocchi, Lasagne, Macaroni, Manicotti, Penne, Rigatoni, Rotini, Spaghetti, Vermicelli, and Ziti.
• “Scaling Day” in Geneva, Switzerland, an annual celebration since 1602. It’s when stores sell pot-shaped chocolate candies to represent the soup pots women used in medieval days to pour scalding water on any invaders attempting to ‘scale’ city walls.
• “UNICEF Birthday”, commemorating the 1946 establishment of the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund. (Giving future Hollywood stars something to do in their spare time.)

• “Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe”, one of Mexico’s major celebrations. The holiday has been observed since 1746 to honor the country’s patron saint, the ‘Dark Virgin of Guadalupe’ (also patron of Corona-with-lime). An estimated 10 million visit her basilica in Mexico City annually.
• “Poinsettia Day”, honoring Dr Joel Roberts Poinsett (1799-1851), the US diplomat who introduced us to the Central American plant named for him in 1828. It’s now a favorite holiday decoration; close to 60 million poinsettia plants are now grown in North America each year.
• “Worldwide Candle Lighting Day”, the 14th annual observance on the 2nd Sunday in December, when we’re encouraged to light candles for an hour at 7 pm local time to honor and remember children worldwide who have died at any age from any cause.

1990 [20] 1st “Billboard Music Awards” (Janet Jackson picks up 8 trophies)

2005 [05] Envelope-pushing comedian Richard Pryor dies in Encino CA at age 65

1984 [26] African famine relief song “Do They Know It’s Christmas” by Band Aid is released

1994 [16] Kenny G’s “Miracles: The Holiday Album” hits #1 on album charts and becomes the best-selling Christmas album in history, selling over 8 million units

1998 [12] A team of 6 astronauts becomes 1st to occupy the International Space Station

[Mon] Cocoa Day
[Mon] New Calendar Day
[Mon] Peace Day in Korea
[Tues] “Oprah’s Ultimate Australian Adventure” taping (Sydney)
[Tues] Michael Jackson’s “Michael” album released
This Week Is … Human Rights Week
This Month Is … World AIDS Month


• Whyzit the quickest way to find something is to start looking for something else?
• Whyzit we say something is ‘out of whack’? Can it be ‘in whack’? And what is a ‘whack’?
• Whyzit people who want to share their religious views with you never want you to share yours with them?
• Whyzit scientists experiment on animals when there’s so many lawyers out there?
• Whyzit if the shoe fits … it’s usually ugly?

Just got a new cologne that smells of breadcrumbs. The chicks love it.

Today’s Question: Close to a quarter of us have done THIS during the holidays without our significant other knowing it.
Answer to Give Out Next Show: Bought a gift for an ex.

Originality is just undetected plagiarism.

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